Gifts...

[Ultralight]

It sounds like we may all sometimes be guilty of giving gifts that are more reflective of what we want than what the recipient wants.

If my mom is even one percent Irish then my sis and I will really be eating crow.

[razz]

Couldn't something very similar be said to my dad?

"Ultralite-Dad, why are you expecting your son to think as you do? He doesn't. Accept it. He has that right."

Only you are feeling frustrated right now. Only you can deal with your sense of frustration.

[Ultralight]

I could shift the frustration right back by telling him to take the item back.

I have done that with other things.

[pinkytoe]

This conversation reminds me of why we chose to have a little geographical distance from certain family members way back when. When we saw each other frequently, there was always a tendency to give us things whether we wanted them or not. Now it's a check or gift card in the mail.

[ApatheticNoMore]

This conversation reminds me of why we chose to have a little geographical distance from certain family members way back when. When we saw each other frequently, there was always a tendency to give us things whether we wanted them or not. Now it's a check or gift card in the mail.

funny, i think it would be the opposite, if you see people a lot, there's no need for gifts to substitute for spending time, and no need for one day to be a "big special event" either. I guess some people are just gift obsessed.

[Williamsmith]

What are you so afraid of? It's just one little gadget? You only get one father.

[Ultralight]

What are you so afraid of? It's just one little gadget? You only get one father.

Like I said, accepting it without conditions would be creating a monster (or rather reviving a monster) that I have to continually feed.

But it is worth noting that my father and I do not have a good past.

He kicked me out of the house when I was a junior in high school, for instance.

I think if I had more than one father I'd be in real, real bad shape. One was enough to deal with.

[Williamsmith]

Reconciliation is possible without formal apology. Not certain......but possible. And from my perspective it is worth it a million times over.

A man can sit in prison plotting the demise of those who put him there. But doing so is like swallowing a strong poison and hoping it kills your enemy.

[kally]

May I ask if the DNA testing was something your folks wanted?

[ToomuchStuff]

He probably did mean well.

But still...

My sis and I got Ancestry DNA tests for my mom and dad. Though this was partly for selfish reasons. haha

My mom thinks she is Irish. But we know of no one in our family is was from Ireland. Granted, there is a lot of fog in my parents' backgrounds though. My mom's dad was a doorstep baby -- just dropped off at a nunnery. And my dad's dad was not really his bio-dad -- he was the product of an affair.

My sis and I are banking on my mom not being Irish at all. Then we can finally get her to drop the obsession with Irish stuff.


But back to the fishing gadget. I might tell a white lie. I could just say: "Dad, I was out in the canoe in rough weather and I flipped. The device was lost in the murky depths."

Another option is to give it to my BIL (he also likes fishing). He is a hoarder and will take almost anything. lol

Good luck with the ancestry stuff. You better be sure your ready for all options.
Also, even if she isn't Irish, it doesn't mean she will, or you have the right to force her to lose interest. I could go with the look at all the Irish on St. Patricks day thing, or I could go by a few people that I have known, whose genealogy was not pretty and would rather live like they belonged somewhere else.

On the lost in the water white lie, better be sure it isn't something he will just get you another one of.

Just tell your Dad that he doesn't fit into your minimalist life anymore, and dump him.

Or, you could try talking to him honestly. That could work too.

It also might not work. Giving can be done for many reasons, but one of them is of course selfish; THE GIVER like the way it makes THEM feel. I said for years don't buy me stuff and we kept fighting about it and I kept getting (censored). It took me walking things over to the trash a couple years in a row, to get the message across.

For Christmas, I just hope for a peaceful family meal (doesn't always happen), and hope we don't have to spend anymore in the hospital or watching someone die (done twice with family and this year with my four legged brother).