Gifts...

[iris lilies]

I understand the obsession with being Irish.

My obsession is on our Scottish ancestors. Which part of Scotland did they come from? What did they do there? Who is left there as a relative? And etc. Its all a big mystery since our immigrant ancestor left us no trace of the old country.

Meanwhile, we've got thorough documentation about our German ancestors in the way that only methodical Germans would document. Yet they are boring to me. I want the mystery of our ancestor Scots to be revealed.

Rev UL, We did the cheek swab thing years ago and have not managed to hook up with close Scottish relatives. we hold out hope.

[Ultralight]

I understand the obsession with being Irish.

My obsession is on our Scottish ancestors. Which part of Scotland did they come from? What did they do there? Who is left there as a relative? And etc. Its all a big mystery since our immigrant ancestor left us no trace of the old country.

Meanwhile, we've got thorough documentation about our German ancestors in the way that only methodical Germans would document. Yet they are boring to me. I want the mystery of our ancestor Scots to be revealed.

Rev UL, We did the cheek swab thing years ago and have not managed to hook up with close Scottish relatives. we hold out hope.

Any surprises in your cheek swab?

One of my friends from the old neighborhood was something like 2 percent African-American. He'll never hear the end of it.

I am fairly certain my family is just European -- Western, mostly; though I think it is likely there is Southern and Northern European in there too. But I sure hope no Irish!

[freshstart]

Reconciliation is possible without formal apology. Not certain......but possible. And from my perspective it is worth it a million times over.

A man can sit in prison plotting the demise of those who put him there. But doing so is like swallowing a strong poison and hoping it kills your enemy.

I agree with this, my dad was an SOB and my mom did nothing to stop it. He ended up on an antidepressant for pain and he was a changed man and I mean really, really changed man. When he skips a week, the old monster comes roaring back. he cannot really see the sea change in himself, he denies he was/is that man but he has obliquely apologized and shown over and over through action that he loves me, and will even occasionally say it. I forgive him, I believe he had good intentions (he pulled us out of abject poverty) and did the best with the limited parenting skills he had. Forgiving him freed me, even forgiving the violence, which he had to know was wrong. Learning to love him changed me. It took hard work in therapy but I reaped the benefits, not just him getting a "real" relationship with me. My brother has not forgiven him. My brother possesses the same deep seeded anger my father had, he is incredibly difficult to have a relationship with and he is unhappy. I'm no ball of joy just because I forgave my dad, but over the years it has helped and it has allowed me to allow him to be part of my children's lives. The man he was would never have been allowed near them.

just food for thought and your dad probably won't end up on a med that changes his entire personality, I was just lucky.

[freshstart]

I am so sick of hearing I am Irish and all that that means. I am actually half German, quarter French, quarter Irish. I was born ten minutes before St Patrick's Day. I have to eat corned beef and cabbage every damn year and I hate both. We only talk about being Irish, it's absurd. My dad says it's because my great-grandfather came here as a young immigrant and had to make a life for himself. Just like my 3 other great-grandparents. Ridiculous. To the point that they were Protestants and my grandmother converted to Catholicism for her marriage, she became the arch enemy but that was fine because above all else we are Irish.

[Ultralight]

I am so sick of hearing I am Irish and all that that means. I am actually half German, quarter French, quarter Irish. I was born ten minutes before St Patrick's Day. I have to eat for beef and cabbage every damn year and I hate both. We only talk about being Irish, it's absurd. My dad says it's because my great-grandfather came here as a young immigrant and had to make a life for himself. Just like my 3 other great-grandparents. Ridiculous. To the point that they were Protestants and my grandmother converted to Catholicism for her marriage, she became the arch enemy but that was fine because above all else we are Irish.

Preach it! Amen, sistah!

[JaneV2.0]

My parents joined an all-Irish social club because their best friends belonged. Our family name is one that could be Irish, but isn't. I always thought they were perpetrating low-level fraud until I found a fellow named Parker in the family tree who had come over from Ireland as an indentured servant. DNA testing shows I'm 3% Irish, so my parents have been vindicated and I'm free to enjoy corned beef and cabbage and warm green beer with supreme smugness on St. Patrick's day.

[Ultralight]

I just don't believe in racial or ethnic essentialism. You know?

Maybe the next time my mom goes on the Irish rant I'll say: "Maybe that is why there are so many alcoholics in the family."

[bae]

Any surprises in your cheek swab?

Mine came back "not quite human as we know it".

[Ultralight]

Mine came back "not quite human as we know it".

Haha! Perfect!

[Zoe Girl]

I am Danish and German (although I do want to do that genetic test thing). I am more German than Danish but we follow Danish customs because they are the only ones we have. My grandmother went back to Denmark to visit cousins when I was growing up, but the other side of the family stayed firmly in the US. So I have one recipe from my grandmother, an aebelskiver pan, and we do our Christmas on Christmas Eve. I totally skipped out on the roast goose tradition thank you!

My ex's family has the family tree back to 1000. It is crazy, my step-MIL wanted to put the girls in the DAR when she married in. I said no thank you, his family was here on one of the first boats and apparently were not as big of ass**s as John Smith but I don't feel any connection. I could just imagine my combat boot/mowhawk daughters show up at the DAR, not sure it would be the dress code they were looking for.