Tell me about this different path.Originally Posted by catherine
Tell me about this different path.
Change the way you look at things.
"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
www.silententry.wordpress.com
How is that different than painting one's jail cell?
I am not snarking here. I am sincerely asking. I am always very intrigued by resilient people and how they think.
Painting one's jail cell is more useful, at least it accomplishes something in the outside world - one now has a newer looking jail cell.
But this whole idea that people can entirely change the way of looking at things, some is probably inborn temperament (I don't know to what extent that affects pessimism/optimism certainly introversion/extroversion etc.), some are early life experiences (there are enough studies on that, people are usually carrying around their childhood 40 years later - it's depressing but ...). catherine is a former cheerleader, we were probably with the kids noone but the outcasts wanted if we had anyone to hang out with at all and weren't all alone, or I was. That's not supposed to matter, we are supposed to start adult life tableau rasa, as if we never even had a childhood or an adolescence that effected us beyond what we aspired to then, according to what this culture believes. But come now, we don't have to dwell on it, but is that true we are tableau rasa as adults or were most of our expectations of life and how we deal with it set long ago? I only try to bring what is new and fresh and not entirely jaded to love usually and friendship ocassionally, and oh is that a constant struggle even (and not because bf is such an optimists of course, he isn't and doesn't demand it).
Trees don't grow on money
haha, you have a good memory, ANM. It's true that I think I was born with a temperament conducive to being optimistic and happy, but I did not have a Brady Bunch childhood as I've related many times. I was the kid in grammar school who was made fun of because my clothes were unironed and dirty. I couldn't have many friends because I couldn't invite them home not knowing if the house would be in emotional and physical chaos when I got there.
My "friends" were the saints in the book that my devout grandmother gave me, as well as my imagination.
I am inspired by people like Anne Frank and Victor Frankl, Stephen Hawking and Helen Keller. I work at learning how they manage to tackle life despite unbelievable obstacles. They show me that if they can do it, I can do it. One of my go-to books is James Allen's As A Man Thinketh, and it's helped me a lot in the choices I've made in life. Every day I go to "school" to teach myself how to open myself to awareness and joy. It's a long, slow process, and I'm far from there, but I'm grateful for those moments, and for the possibility of those moments.
"It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.
"It's utterly impossible for me to build my life on a foundation of chaos, suffering, and death. I see the world being slowly transformed into a wilderness. I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too, and I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too shall end, that peace and tranquility will return once more. In the meantime, I must hold on to my ideals. Perhaps the day will come when I'll be able to realize them!" --Anne Frank
Life is not black and white. It is more than 50 complex shades of grey, and I think we will be happy in proportion to our ability to accept the fog.
"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
www.silententry.wordpress.com
I was one of the kids who skipped the pep rallies in high school.
However did you avoid them? I just spent the hour resenting having to participate. I would have welcomed another hour of study hall. Total, stupid waste of time. Do they still force this type of thing on students?
Besides Anne Frank and Victor Frankl I also enjoyed reading "Night" and "All but my Life." All are about the Holocaust and most people lost everything & everyone. MY BF lost her wonderful 19yo daughter and yet she goes on and finds joy in life. Yes there is much sadness too. I choose to be happy and enjoy life. It is really just a choice. We can't control what happens to us but we certainly control our reactions and feelings. If you have never looked at Cognitive Behavioral Therapy you might want to explore this. WE have but one life and I for one intend to enjoy it and not waste it.
I went to a detention-like room where I was berated by an annoying twit of a "teacher."
I'd ignored him and read books. A few other misfits were in there with me drawing pictures, trying to stay awake, occasionally sparring in debate with the annoying teacher.
I am deficient in whatever brain chemical causes groupthink. So pep rallies, to me, just looked like temporary mass psychosis.
I can't speak for UA but my high school had an open campus. We just left the building, got in my car, and went to McDonalds, just like we did for every class we skipped. There were days when I was at McDonalds two or three times.
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