Recovering hoarders?

[Chicken lady]

Well, to kick heroin, you have to not do something. To de-hoard, you have to do something. And you can completely avoid heroin (I have completely avoided heroin for 47 years - never seen any as far as I know.) but you cannot completely avoid stuff. Even Ultralightangler needs some stuff and it is everywhere.

I had serious IV drugs once. I was in labor. And never again. It was the most amazing rush. I am quite sure I could becomes junkie very easily. Alcoholism also runs in my family. I remember reading something once about "addictive personalities" and sometimes I wonder if all this stuff is intertwined genetically and it is only our environment that makes it be expressed differently.

Relating to the original topic - I am working on my studio again today and I have thrown out a lot of plastic stuff that can't be recycled. This is still hard for me, but not as hard as it used to be. There were a couple of plastic containers that came as packaging for store bought desserts and I saved them because I thought they might be useful as molds. I told myself right out loud "if you miss this mold, I give you permission to go to the store and buy another pudding cake and eat the whole thing.". And I was actually able to laugh.

Also, I know that it is not your intent, and I do really feel horrible for everyone who is dealing with this, but reading your words makes me feel good about my progress. I am in the top 10%! I can do this for my kids! I wish that your parents could also. I wish I knew how to help.

[Ultralight]

Well, to kick heroin, you have to not do something. To de-hoard, you have to do something. And you can completely avoid heroin (I have completely avoided heroin for 47 years - never seen any as far as I know.) but you cannot completely avoid stuff. Even Ultralightangler needs some stuff and it is everywhere.

I had serious IV drugs once. I was in labor. And never again. It was the most amazing rush. I am quite sure I could becomes junkie very easily. Alcoholism also runs in my family. I remember reading something once about "addictive personalities" and sometimes I wonder if all this stuff is intertwined genetically and it is only our environment that makes it be expressed differently.

Also, I know that it is not your intent, and I do really feel horrible for everyone who is dealing with this, but reading your words makes me feel good about my progress. I am in the top 10%! I can do this for my kids! I wish that your parents could also. I wish I knew how to help.

Several good points here.

I know I have an addictive personality, or at least it feels like it. This is why I am teetotal and straight edge. I am not taking any chances!

When I like something I get very, very intense about it. And even if I don't like something but I see much to be gained from it I still get very, very intense about it.
Fishing, Indian food, simple living, etc.


And kudos to you for doing this for your kids! It is a struggle, I'd bet.

[freshstart]

I had an addictive personality in regards to becoming very intense about certain things, certain topics. Political issues being one- actively campaigning, debating, discussing, pulling things apart with likeminded people or not likeminded people who were looking to debate. Literature, few vegan years, feminist agenda, gun control, etc. That's mostly gone with these brain changes. The feelings are less intense and I no longer wish to discuss anything in depth because I no longer really can and that becomes abundantly clear after a few sentences in. So I'm hoping with certain areas of "addiction", such as my mild hoarding of a few types of things, food issues, will dull as well. I may as well gain something from my dumbing down. It is very strange to lose the pit bull part of your personality, well, not lost but tamed.

I turned down xanax for years out of fear of addiction, during times it was desperately needed. I finally tried it and have been on it for years, not used daily, sometimes not used in a month. It sits in the bottle and I have zero addictive feelings towards it. I'm the same way with pain meds. Hmm, maybe I don't have an addictive personality, no, I do, just luckily not for harmful substances.

perfect example of being dumbed down, this post, lol

[sylvia]

I think I have a chocolate /sugar addiction and will get up sometimes at night for a bite which is very strange IMO. Been trying to kick that bad habit for years not to mock real drug addicts but it's hard.Just when I got over it Halloween comes around the corner I'm picking through my kid's candy. I cannot imagine Heroine -where people lose jobs and families, ultimately their lives. Tragic. Sadly relapse can be triggered by simple pain medecine.

[Chicken lady]

So yesterday I threw away a fancy plastic container that came with candy in it. It sat on my counter for six weeks after I ate the candy, because it just looked so interesting and potentially useful.

but here's the thing - while it was hard to throw it out, it wasn't emotionally hard to throw it out! When I finally made the decision, I didn't feel that flood of uncertainty and self-doubt. And when I put it in the trash can, there was no twinge of regret. Just a sense of a job done, like when I finish loading the dishwasher.

this is a big deal.

[Ultralight]

this is a big deal.

I believe you.

[freshstart]

I agree, big deal.

[Chicken lady]

I am feeling overwhelmed again. I picked dd2 up from college, and an entire stuffed carload of her belongings has now been added back to my full house.

also I am worried about her. She went thrift shopping repeatedly with friends the last two weeks of school "to get away from exam stress" and brought home an entire, huge black garbage bag full of shoes.

that is pretty classic - the hoarder feels stress, the hoarder acquires stuff, the hoarder feels better, even good! the rush wears off, the hoarder acquires more stuff....

the hoarder's college roommate gives the hoarder's mom a look of concern as they are trying to stuff all the hoarder's belongings into the car......

the black humor part of me is thinking "maybe I could get her to hoard earrings instead...."

but the ret of me is thinking, "we need to spend a bunch of time together this summer cleaning out this house" (behavior therapy)

[freshstart]

how is she with helping to clean out?

I have a funny shoe story with my mother. When I was about 14 and my family was in a better financial place, my mom and I went to the Talbot's Outlet. They were having $3 and $4 sale on shoes because the sizes were really small and came in narrow. Our size! We bought EIGHTY pairs of shoes that day. I could not believe my mother was letting me buy 40 pairs of shoes, I didn't see the hoarder component in this, I was just a teen who thought she had hit the motherload. The difference is I wore my shoes for years and years to come. She saved hers "for good" and by the time "good" came around her foot was no longer narrow. We laughed and told that story over the years but it really wasn't all that funny seeing as how she never wore hers.

[Chicken lady]

As far as the actual cleaning out, we make very little progress together, but the mental work of facing the mess and sorting through it and making decisions helps curb the urge to acquire and builds muscle for next time - so maybe we spend all afternoon, and everything is neater, and cleaner, and we got rid of one grocery bag of stuff. But later in the week, we encounter more opportunities for decision making, and another grocery bag of stuff drifts out as we go along. What is important is to continually refocus and move generally in the right direction.