How many more?

[CathyA]

I just feel it's totally natural to want to be with like-people and to be wary of "others". I think we're hard-wired to feel that way. It can also be a protective mechanism to make connections of people who are like the ones we've had bad experiences with.
We fight instinct so hard, as humans. Would it be best if we could all get along? Of course! I'm just saying that there is more than one reason for shying away from certain people/groups. And I don't believe that if you give someone a job and money, and be nice to them, that they will turn around their bad behavior. Some yes, but others no. And I feel this group is growing and getting away with bad behavior.
My feelings about this are because of my own personal experiences throughout my life, and what is happening every day in the city near here. Just remember........I voted for Obama twice. (But I'm sure that will elicit put-downs too).

[iris lilies]

Is there another definition of racist that would allow you to label yourself racist? This is intriguing.

I dont know.

now, about you--are you racist? According to the definition you pulled off Google (which agreed, doesnt support much in the way of enlightening dialog) are you racist?

is there another definition that would allow you to label yourself racist? This is (not especially) intrigung.

[LDAHL]

Can all 7 billion humans on the planet have several mansions and yachts?

What's wrong with a few lucky/clever/hardworking ones getting rich?

[catherine]

I just feel it's totally natural to want to be with like-people and to be wary of "others".

What if it's natural to be polyamorous? It probably is, and yet we created social constructs around monogamy. Why not address racism the same way?

I remember you talking about walking into a restaurant where there were loud black people, so "everyone" sat as far away as possible. From what I understand, they were not bad loud, just loud. Try to imagine how your reaction might have been different if they were white? What if you were at the next table when my family of 14 had a bit too much wine, were pretty darn noisy and my husband got up and recited Gunga Din in front of the whole restaurant? Would you have been just as offended? Maybe you would have been a little offended, but would you have had the EXACT same feelings that you did about that black family who was just there having a good time?

I agree that we like being with like-minded people, but why judge people with no knowledge of them? Why be wary just on principle? I disagree with that part. I don't think we are born wary of others on the basis of skin color. As a mother, you can probably remember your children walking up to strangers. In my experience, children are color-blind. We teach our children to put people in little boxes.

[CathyA]

In putting this into the discussion about the police being racist with blacks........In some of these cities, these police come in contact with those who act aggressive/disrespectful/and potentially dangerous all the time. For the police, it can be a life and death situation. So what if over the course of several months, an office interacts with a number of blacks who pulled a gun on them, or even a knife. How long does the cop wait, before he pulls his gun and prepares to shoot, before the other person pulls his and shoots? This is a very thin line. And if the cop shoots a millisecond too soon......then he's a racist. If he waits a millisecond too long, then he's dead.

What if a cop has pulled dozens of blacks over in their cars in the past year, and it has been a dangerous situation in most of those instances. Wouldn't that cop be stupid to not be prepared for trouble in the future similar situations......even if it's just a broken taillight?
Like catherine said......our brains do make shorter connections, to make like easier.....and safer. But to have a more peaceful country, we try to understand those connections and maybe try to change them. But it's really hard and I sometimes think it's asking too much for our primitive brains..........to over-ride the natural warning system they have.....to keep us safe.

And I think some people just don't live in an area with lots of crime, and it's much more easy for them to say certain things and call people racist, when their experiences might be so different.

[CathyA]

We were writing at the same time catherine. Actually, the next weekend we were at that restaurant and there was a group of loud whites. Yes, it bothered me, but it didn't elicit the same irritation. But that's because it seems like the blacks I've been around in general are soooooo loud. (And at the same time they are talking poor English, and dressed inappropriately and ill-mannered).
But you need to understand that even though those black folks at the restaurant were loud, I still saw them as decent people........just loud.

But I see lots of blacks being very racist........but it seems to always be the whites who are accused of it.
And like I said........there's a ton of black crime in the neighboring city. I mean every night.
It gets really hard to not make connections when the majority of certain peoples that I might see display the same kind of behavior.

[Alan]

If everyone stopped segmenting people by their skin color, if politicians stopped developing their base of support among racial or genetic separatists, if the media would make an effort to be color blind and everyday people stopped categorizing people by race and putting them into the appropriate box, how would you all know who to disapprove of?

[LDAHL]

Lack of social mobility? There are fewer households now in the middle class. Thats because 2/3 of those who moved out of the middle class moved up.

I'm in that category. I read somewhere that the upper bound on the middle class for a family of three was $120K/year. That puts us into lower-upper by about dinner at a mid-priced restaurant (before the tip). I don't feel top drawer. I do OK in the unassuming Midwest, but in Tribeca I'd be a prole. This whole class thing is confusing.

[Ultralight]

(And at the same time they are talking poor English, and dressed inappropriately and ill-mannered).

You mean "speaking English poorly."

[catherine]

But I see lots of blacks being very racist........but it seems to always be the whites who are accused of it.
And like I said........there's a ton of black crime in the neighboring city. I mean every night.
It gets really hard to not make connections when the majority of certain peoples that I might see display the same kind of behavior.

Dealing with mending racial tension is a difficult issue to be sure, but we won't get anywhere by giving into feelings that turn into tinder for the next civil war. It's in our pure self-interest to pray that we may "seek to understand rather than be understood, seek to love rather than be loved."