Recovering hoarders?

[Ultralight]

So I have decided I am not going to enable the hoarders in my life -- no more giving them stuff, no more asking for stuff, and no more requesting that they "store" something for me.

The tricky thing is that they offer to let me store stuff because they are so, so afraid I might give about some thing that I will want later.

They also try to give me stuff in general.

And when I am going to Goodwill something they will ask for it.

[iris lily]

My MIL was a hoarder so I would take anything she gave me and then take it to Goodwill. I never told her what I did with the stuff. IL: your description of your friend is hysterical)

I was going to offload to her our two canvas bags that were forced on us at the conference, but miracle of miracles, this particular conference planning committee had canvas bags made that have no date or city printed on them! They can be used for future conferences! I am unloading them on mext year's committee.

[Teacher Terry]

UL: just don't tell them when you are taking something to GW.

[Ultralight]

Yup, I have two confirmed and two suspected hoarders in my life. I will not enable them anymore!

[ApatheticNoMore]

I think you are beginning to see everyone as a hoarder Including those with an average amount of stuff kept clean.

[JaneV2.0]

I think you are beginning to see everyone as a hoarder Including those with an average amount of stuff kept clean.

I said it once before--we all have our hobby horses.

[Chicken lady]

So, here is the thing ultralite - I have a friend who knows I am a hoarder, and she is a declutterer, (I won't venture to call her a minimalist!). She has offered to help me Clear out, to which I have responded "no thank you, I can't do that because you will want to throw a bunch of stuff away."

but she also gives me stuff I can actually use. She is good about asking me about the stuff when it is not in front of me and encouraging me to think clearly (I have an extra gazinga, can you use it? Are you sure?)

if you just refuse to give the hoarder things, you are treating them like a child instead of an adult who can make their own decisions. Which isn't actually helpful.

i'm not saying you should dump all your useless crap on them, but if you have something you genuinely think they could use or would really like, there is no reason not to offer it.

[Ultralight]

if you just refuse to give the hoarder things, you are treating them like a child instead of an adult who can make their own decisions.

What is so wrong with treating them like a child?

[Chicken lady]

Well, it's rather disrespectful to start, beyond that, the way you asked makes me think explaining is probably going to be harder than I'm up for.

anybody in your life treat you like a child? How do you feel about that? Is it helpful?

[Teacher Terry]

CL: it is too bad you could not take up your friend on her offer. Your life and your DH's would be improved. Maybe someday you will be ready. Things do not equal love or companionship, etc.