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Thread: The slow fade?

  1. #151
    Senior Member beckyliz's Avatar
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    I kind of did for a while with my aunt - she lives several states away. As my father (her brother) was in the last couple years of his life, she said some very hurtful things to my and my brother about my mother and my parents' relationship. I didn't want the drama, so I just went silent for a few years. We're back to the very occasional email or comment on FB (we're not friends, but on common friends' pages). The relationship will never be the same, though.
    "Do not accumulate for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. But accumulate for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, your heart is also." Jesus

  2. #152
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    Wow. He ain't very nice to be around. Yeah, like you said, if he weren't your father would you give him the time of day? He sounds like my grandfather... whom I haven't spoken to in 20 years or more. If you want to keep trying dialog is always the best option. He seems to rant a lot but what could you say or how could you say things that might be more politically minded? Meaning, if you don't want a loaded gun in your car (that is completely understandable!!) Let him know that though gun laws may be what they are but in your vehicle you have your own rules. He is of course welcome to drive in his own car or if he can't then like many things in life he can suck it up and leave the gun at home. If he chooses not to come because of this... well you won't have to worry about him ruining a nice afternoon!
    I'm sorry you are having to deal with difficult parents. You are definitely not alone. If you do a brief online search you will find articles and forums to help and support you. Good luck!

  3. #153
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    So apparently my mom's doctor thinks she might have lymphoma. They are running the tests this week, I think.

    I am still not on speaking terms with them since the big argument over the Roth IRA not being invested properly/earning enough money.
    So I heard about this possible cancer thing through my sis and BIL. My mom told them and apparently said: "Do not tell you brother I might have cancer or that they are testing me for cancer. You can only tell him I am getting tests, but not what they are for."

  4. #154
    Simpleton Alan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler View Post
    .
    So I heard about this possible cancer thing through my sis and BIL. My mom told them and apparently said: "Do not tell you brother I might have cancer or that they are testing me for cancer. You can only tell him I am getting tests, but not what they are for."
    Sounds like she's traumatized enough already.
    "Things should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." ~ Albert Einstein

  5. #155
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    My sis says that she is maintaining her pharmaceutical induced optimism quite well.

    Apparently this is weighing heavier on my dad.

  6. #156
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler View Post

    Apparently this is weighing heavier on my dad.
    Of course. I am sorry to hear this, and I'm hoping for the best for your family, UA.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  7. #157
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    UA, accept that you are still connected to your parents - you would not be posting such an update if you were completely detached. Let go of whatever has offended you and move on to being and acting the person you would like to be responding to you when you are being obnoxious. It is so much easier and less stressful. Take charge of your thoughts and actions. Be who you want to be because it is right for you and not for or in reaction to anyone else. Verbal or other abuse, simply walk away and toss it off like a bag of garbage.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  8. #158
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    oy vey, I am sorry to hear this news and sorry you have to figure out how to deal with it

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