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Thread: My 15 year old daughter wants to visit her mom in jail. Could she handle it?

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    Last edited by fmprp; 9-8-21 at 11:03pm.

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    Well first off the inmates will likely be behind glass panes etc. - so no real intimidation by inmates is possible - well I guess they could make faces/gestures, don't think it's typical as most are more interesting in seeing their loved ones during visiting hour than anything else, just that it's theoretically possible, but other than that they can't actually DO anything since they are likely to be behind the prison glass. If it's county jail (those serving under a year) it probably won't be the real serious offenders anyway as they are usually serving prison time, although sometimes they mix the two, anyway they will likely be behind (maybe even bullet proof) glass like I say. No you won't be able to touch them, not even to give mom a hug, sorry.

    I think a 15 year old can handle it, what I suspect is when young people get exposed to jail it becomes normalized, however 15 may be a bit old for that. I mean visiting time at the jail is filled with even young children at least when I've been there. It will shock you (speaking of privilege, young kids grow up visiting daddy in jail, if you didn't live that life well THAT is privilege) and I have to wonder if those kids don't grow up thinking jail time is just a normal part of life, but they are younger than 15.
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    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    I would let her visit her mom. Seven months is a long time to be separated. It will be good for your wife to see her.

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    If she wants to go, take her. If she finds it intimidating, she'll find it intimidating. She'll survive. She's a 15 year old girl - life is intimidating at that age. I'm not saying that it would not be a hard visit - but I expect she'll be stronger than you think. And not going may be the worse choice.

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    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Do you have discussions about what to say when others ask about her mom? If she can talk about it, she will be better off going to see that mom is safe than imagining all kinds of things. It will be difficult but with preparation, it is doable.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

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    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
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    Just going to put it out there that you might want to give her counselor at school a heads up. A lot of things crop up at school and 15 is a tender age.

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    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simplemind View Post
    Just going to put it out there that you might want to give her counselor at school a heads up. A lot of things crop up at school and 15 is a tender age.
    I agree with this. And if there is a pastor or other significant adult in her life that she can go to for help dealing with mom being in prison, maybe speak to them now to suggest that they let her know that she can come to them if she's having problems. The act of going to the prison for visit(s) may not be as tough as you fear. Dealing with awful peers being mean to her, on the other hand, may be the more difficult part. Having someone outside her immediate family that she can talk to could be very helpful.

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    Joined in 2013 and this is your first post. Long time lurker, first time poster?
    Her joking sounds like typical teen angst. (a kid being ordered around, seeing a parent be that, seems fair play) It can also be a coping mechanism.
    As your first post, we really have nothing on her, or her and her mothers connection. (close, not close, etc)
    Could she handle it? Your a better judge then us, your also the parent.
    She could be fine, she could learn the consequences of actions that can lead to jail. She could also decide that crime looks cool. Or you could have an incident at the jail when your there. There are a LOT of COULD's.

    "Even I find the jail environment to be intimidating. If I do, how can a 15 year old handle it?"
    Maturity and ability to cope isn't age dependent. I know a gal, who while her aunt was legally in charge of her, for all practical purposes, she was in charge of babysitting her aunt, when she was 10.
    Jail is supposed to be intimidating.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ToomuchStuff View Post
    Joined in 2013 and this is your first post. Long time lurker, first time poster?
    Her joking sounds like typical teen angst. (a kid being ordered around, seeing a parent be that, seems fair play) It can also be a coping mechanism.
    As your first post, we really have nothing on her, or her and her mothers connection. (close, not close, etc)
    Could she handle it? Your a better judge then us, your also the parent.
    She could be fine, she could learn the consequences of actions that can lead to jail. She could also decide that crime looks cool. Or you could have an incident at the jail when your there. There are a LOT of COULD's.

    "Even I find the jail environment to be intimidating. If I do, how can a 15 year old handle it?"
    Maturity and ability to cope isn't age dependent. I know a gal, who while her aunt was legally in charge of her, for all practical purposes, she was in charge of babysitting her aunt, when she was 10.
    Jail is supposed to be intimidating.



    I was wondering is a 15 year old in general is old enough for a visit

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