"What the dying elderly told me"

[JaneV2.0]

I have a strong belief in an afterlife and a moderate belief in reincarnation.

My SO's beloved brother died this year (too much sickness and death recently), and he was considerably broken up. As he was sitting in his car one morning, he heard Cuco's voice, gruff as always, barking "Get over it!" which he was able to do then, feeling that his brother was all right, wherever he was, and clearly unchanged.

It may have been just his mind playing tricks, but it was effective...

[JaneV2.0]

A couple of months before my mother died, she was in the hospital, hooked up to monitors, and she described what I assume was a preparation for death--an orientation, if you will. There were green fields full of children and animals (purgatory?) and an assembly complete with what seemed to be a registration. She passed along that she would have about a month (she had two), and that she would need the proper credentials. In the weeks that followed, she saw departed relatives, and near the very end, her older sister (who had just died, though she had no way of knowing that). When my father started asking "Did you know Mother and Dad were upstairs?" from his room in the VA facility, we knew he might be leaving soon. And he did.

[pinkytoe]

I just finished reading a book called "The Best of Us" by Joyce Maynard. She tells in great detail how she met the love of her life in her late 50s and how a few years later he became ill with pancreatic cancer. She endured his slow demise and eventual death but sustained that journey with their memories and meaningful experiences to the very end. Certainly makes one question all the medical interventions one endures to prolong life just a little bit.

[catherine]

Certainly makes one question all the medical interventions one endures to prolong life just a little bit.

I've been in market research in which the client (a pharmaceutical company) wanted to know the threshold people would be willing to pay for 2 months of life, or 4 months of life, or 6 months of life. Was it worth a second mortgage? Selling the home? Drawing from a 401k that the widow would need to survive on?

Too many Sophie's Choices. I agree, pinkytoe. I'm hoping that if my family is faced with those choices that they will realize that I've already lived an awesome life and it's time for the living to keep on living and for the dying to go into that good night as easily and peacefully (and cheaply) as they can.

[iris lilies]

I just finished reading a book called "The Best of Us" by Joyce Maynard. She tells in great detail how she met the love of her life in her late 50s and how a few years later he became ill with pancreatic cancer. She endured his slow demise and eventual death but sustained that journey with their memories and meaningful experiences to the very end. Certainly makes one question all the medical interventions one endures to prolong life just a little bit.

Joyce Maynard! She keeps coming up on this site.

I just heard her on The Moth telling the story of her relationship with The Grizzley, a man with whom she delevoped a relationship through letters while he was in prison. That is, i til she found out why he was in prison.