Quote Originally Posted by Geila View Post
Oddhat - When I tried OA years ago, I was really put off by a few things: the use of the Higher Power which was presented as an external (rather than internal) source of strength, the constant refrain that overeating was a moral failure, and the constant self-abuse language when someone failed their HP and overate. I believe that overeating is a symptom, not the cause. A coping mechanism if you will. Also, I'm pretty sure there is a chemical component to it, i.e, a person who is low on serotonin/dopamine/whatever receives a chemical boost from food that temporarily fills them up with the needed brain chemicals. Nothing to be ashamed of. But there was lots of shame at the meetings I attended.

Anyway, I'd like to find a way to reconcile those bothersome things and give it another chance. When you mentioned symbolism versus reality, it made me think that maybe I can do that. Would you be willing to help me? If I can find a way to reconcile these things that bother me, maybe in time the community can be a source of support and growth.
Hi, Geila.

You're right. Overeating and other behaviors are just symptoms. Even cancer is just a symptom (the disease is the person's inborn or acquired susceptibility combined with the stress that the body yielded to).

And there is certainly nothing to feel guilty of or ashamed about. There is no moral failure, only the coping mechanisms we adopt very early on. The coping mechanisms are figments of the ego, which is real and which can be overridden with practice. An ego error is not a moral failure. It's just a downside of being human.

And yes, there are chemical and mechanical issues too. Sometimes we have to accept our shortcomings and deal with them as best we can.

I'm happy to help you or anyone else, though I am no expert. I've just spent many years trying to heal and have made a lot of progress. I have not done 12 Steps, but I've read the program and have friends who have done it with great success. These friends have no problem with the symbolism and seem to find it helpful. I was always put off by it and found another way to get better, including reading the books I mentioned above plus many others.

If you'd like to reconcile those bothersome things and give OA another shot, I think that can be done. I think it's mainly a matter of separating out the symbolism and translating it to what's being symbolized. Reality is intimidating to a lot of people, which is why symbolism is used so widely and successfully (or not) by religions and mythology and even some branches of medicine. Even movies and TV shows are just symbols, and it's no wonder people escape through them. Anything to avoid facing reality.