Please explain this to me

[catherine]

Obviously, you must be an introvert or you would realize it is impossible to always stay home.

I am an introvert, and fine with being home 90% of the time. Frankly, I love having an excuse to turn down social engagements. I "get out of the house" by walking down to the lake or puttering in the garden. I love it when the summer neighbors are away during the week.

I was talking with my DD and future SIL on Mothers Day about that. They have decided, with their September wedding, to cancel the big shindig and have a very small, immediate family only event at my in-law's place in Maine. They are worried that they would put guests in a difficult position by asking them to travel.

But really, they are thanking God for this "silver lining" of COVID because they are both introverts and the only reason they entertained the idea of a big wedding is because my son-in-law has a big extended family. So they are thrilled to cut the guest list from 100+ to 28.

I know it's hard for extroverts to think this way. My extrovert son veers on thinking introverts are "weird" at best and "antisocial" at worst. But we are just happy with our own company.

[pinkytoe]

I recall when I was in the final throes of childbirth that I did not want anyone else around me. I wonder if impending death might bring about the same feeling. I saw both my mother and little brother moments after they died and I wish that I did not have that image in my head. We did a FaceTime with my very non-techy mother in law on Mother's Day. She has been in her assisted living room now for two months without leaving. Best we can do for her right now. Back to masks...we stopped wearing ours on walks but always have on at the grocery or other places with people.

[iris lilies]

I think some of us might be right about what we would want our deathbeds and others may not really know and that is OK. But I do know one thing: not everyone wants the same thing and I hope I don’t have some cheerful do-gooder nurse stroking my brow and holding my hand and talking nonsense to me because it will be nonsense. She doesn’t know me and Most anything she says will not speak to me.


I will never forget when my father was dying some damn do -gooder member of the nursing staff came up to me as I was standing near his bed and plastered her body against me in a loooong hug. And all I could think of was oh God yet one more thing I have to endure.

I still resent that moment because it was all about her.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Maybe a couple of months before he died my dad was in the hospital, this was not the final time he was admitted, but the time before that when it looked like he would make it. When we went to visit him he said "what are you doing here, waiting for me to die?". "No, we are visiting you in the hospital" (or maybe waiting for you to get better one could have said). So maybe I took from that a month or two later when he actually was dying, that he would not actually want anyone waiting around for him to die (which is what it would have been if we had seen his death when he was unconscious on morphine anyway, just a waiting for death).

[Yppej]

I have been in 3 stores in 8 weeks. All were super quick.

This is my mother's mindset too. If I am quick and wear a mask it is OK.

I heard on the news the number of people volunteering to get groceries and run errands for the elderly greatly exceeds the number of elderly signing up for these services. There is no need for any high risk person to go out, but there is definitely the want.

The economy is being gutted because the government feels the need to impose restrictions and shutter businesses because high risk people do not want to stay home. If they want to risk their lives I wouldn't lock them up, but I dislike ruining things for everyone else because they don't like to shelter in place. It should be venture out at your own risk.

[iris lilies]

Oh absolutely, the number of do-gooders exceeds those wanting their help.

Our neighborhood had 15 to 20 volunteers signed up to run errands for those who are at risk. This was several weeks ago. Not one person is taking advantage of this well publicized effort. Not one.

[Tradd]

The senior folks at my church are being sensible and staying in. They either have family or someone else willing to run errands.

I’ve been grocery shopping for the past month for a widow in her mid-80s I’m close to. We share a music stand in choir. She’s been staying home since early March. I drop the groceries on her porch, she sticks an envelope with her check out the door, and once I have it, I back up about 10 feet and chat for 5-10 minutes.

She said she goes out to the post office once a week to mail stuff. She uses the it drive by mail box. Saids it’s good for both her and her car to get out for that. She has no contact with anyone when she’s out. She has a small back patio she will sit on to get some air or goes for a walk around the block.

[JaneV2.0]

I haven't been in a store since some time in March. No do-gooders are clamoring to shop for me, either. I'm content to shelter in place for the foreseeable future, but I know people in my age group who make it a point to grocery shop once a week or so. With the distancing, masks, plexiglass barriers, directional arrows, and very limited human contact, I doubt they have much chance of contracting or spreading anything. But we'll see, I guess.

[Teacher Terry]

Nobody is volunteering here to shop for seniors. The 3xs I went into a store because I needed to eat. My husband usually does it but was out of town. Once my son arrived he has been doing it for us. But he leaves Monday to work in Alaska all summer. The restaurant had taken out half of the tables and wasn’t full. That’s the only unnecessary thing we have done. My husband may be working out of town soon so will need to do all the shopping.

[iris lilies]

Nobody is volunteering here to shop for seniors. The 3xs I went into a store because I needed to eat. My husband usually does it but was out of town. Once my son arrived he has been doing it for us. But he leaves Monday to work in Alaska all summer. The restaurant had taken out half of the tables and wasn’t full. That’s the only unnecessary thing we have done. My husband may be working out of town soon so will need to do all the shopping.

Are you sure? Do you belong to Next Door? That’s one source of information about shop-for-others efforts. I will bet churches have organized to do that as well, all over.