Beckyliz, sorry to read this. Hope he is eligible for Medicaid so that you have some help. Good luck!
Beckyliz, sorry to read this. Hope he is eligible for Medicaid so that you have some help. Good luck!
I apologize for starting this thread and then not interacting with any of the thoughtful responses. I honestly kind of just didn't want to think about the situation for a bit. I think I'm going to go with IL's idea and move 6 hours away and just let my sister deal with everything. Haha, just kidding.
Beckyliz: I too am so sorry for what you are dealing with. It is tough enough with a parent, but going through this with a spouse sounds like its own special level of hell.
Herb: At least my mom is loving and so very grateful for anything we do for her. It would be so much harder to be a good daughter if she was unpleasant and ungrateful. When I am with her, I always get to hear about how beautiful I am, and my shirt is so pretty, and my earrings are pretty, and I'm so smart (because I know what day it is or something), and she loves me so much.
Lmerullo: I was thinking that something like this might be helpful if I could control the temp in her house via the Alexa app or similar. I realize that this becomes a non-issue once the weather gets a bit colder and she'll just have the heat on full blast all the time. It's an issue in the spring and fall when the temperatures are fluctuating so much.
You laugh, but the six hour thing, you think that’s not deliberate? Ha ha.
I will tell you that it saves a lot of minor tussles that result in too much angst. My sister-in-law and my mom tussled about dumb things that I just thought were… A waste of time on the part of my sister-in-law. I mean who cares if my mother gets mixed up in her mind about something, it isn’t “lying” sis.
To add: My sis in law got hot under the collar when the nursing home staff dressed my mother in inappropriate, not-her-style clothes. Don’t ask me where these things came from. Think of leopard print vs. LL Bean. My mom was more of an LL Bean person.
Some people would say this does matter because it preserves the essential being of our mother, but I see it as tiny assaults on resources of whoever is watching over our mother. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Do you think you would be up to looking at assisted living places in case she has an event and is hospitalized and can't go home?
IL, I am with you on choosing which hill to die on. My friend went into memory care with beautiful clothes and once she got bad what she was wearing was ridiculous. She was 6ft tall and always had pants that were too short. I was more concerned about the quality of care.
Yes, I think there are a few places I should visit. I'm already familiar with several in the area from experiences with my in-laws.Originally Posted by Tybee
We got one of these for Mom for her birthday, and she absolutely loves it!
https://www.alzstore.com/alzheimers-...utm_medium=pla
We presented it as not being real but something we thought she would get a kick out of, the perfect dog that doesn't need to be walked or fed, and wouldn't bother her allergies. At first she was a bit disparaging about her "fake dog." Then she said it confused her a little, and I think this was in terms of it seeming somewhat real although she knew it wasn't. Now she totally loves it, carries it around, pets it and talks to it. She hears it call her "Mrs. Rugosa," which is a bit weird since it only says "woof woof," but the important thing is that she loves it and it seems to be bringing her a lot of joy.
We also got her a Viewclix device with more mixed results:
https://www.viewclix.com/
She enjoys seeing the pictures we post to it, but she doesn't like leaving it on all the time, and my theory is that the constant visual stimulation is distracting for her. Unfortunately, if she turns it off or unplugs it, I cannot use the "drop in" video call feature, which I was hoping to have as a backup if she leaves the phone off the hook, which happens sometimes. I also noticed that she has Alexa unplugged too. So in terms of assistive technology, we have one clear winner, one mixed, and Alexa is a complete failure.
These tech solutions are very interesting!
When my mom was in care, the facility had several of the robotic cats. The staff got really tired of washing them, as everyone wanted to "feed" them. They ended up with a "no cats in the dining room" rule, which seemed to help, lol. And for what it's worth, I'd unplug Alexia too! The director where I volunteer has one in his office, and she's always interjecting advice when she's not been asked. Freaks me ouit. Glad the doggie seems to be a joy for your mom. Joy in the moment is what it's all about for our loved ones with memory problems.
I immediately thought about how to keep the robotic dog clean.
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