Quote Originally Posted by flowerseverywhere View Post
I feel it is very selfish to be unsafe to yourself or others and stay in your house and worrying your kids half to death. We've seen it happen, and it is incredibly hard on the kids and leaves them bitter and worn out. we are all going to go eventually.

My problem with independent living is the significant buy in and the fact they can change hands.

Have you made plans?
I think that committing to stay in your house can be selfish or not, depending upon the individual. My great-aunt lived in her small apartment until the day she died at 92. My son's ex-girlfriend's grandmother was a hoot--she lived in a big Victorian house, hosted jazz sessions at which she played the piano, and drank whiskey every night, and she died in her sleep at age 99 and 11 months.

That doesn't answer your question. I've thought about it, though, because while I adore this house and am completely independent right now, being "old" up here you take risks--if you have a medical emergency it takes 20 minutes to get an ambulance, and from there you have a 30 minute ride to the nearest hospital. That's a concern. The winters are long, cold and snowy. That's a concern. If you can't drive, the best you can do on your own is walk 1.7 miles to the market, get Meals on Wheels, or depend upon neighbors and friends to pick you up things or take you shopping. That's a concern.

I have considered that when I get to the point where DH isn't around, and I can't drive and I have a medical condition that would necessitate immediate care if I had an acute event, I would move to Burlington to be closer to my kids and within walking distance of food and basic services. I'd find a small apartment or a 55+ community with different levels of assistance (high level of care would be less desirable and last resort option)

If DH is around and we are both in that situation, I would hope he would agree that this would be the best course of action.

We just learned that the people who owned this house for decades only decided to move to Florida when they reached that tipping point--the wife had a heart condition and the husband didn't want to risk her having an event being 45 minutes from help. He actually died last year, and she's still kicking in her late 80s.

I really hope that we don't need to rely on our Plan B for at least a decade. We are both quite healthy (TBH, DH surprisingly so) and at this point I don't see any time in the near future when I'd have to seriously consider moving.