We all like to talk about aging in place and it is totally fine. But also think about sudden permanent incapacity, need for advanced nursing care, or brain diseases. It is fine to say one is living independently until it takes a village of caretakers who are giving up their one or their multiple lives to keep you in place. It is most usually a spouse or partner or a child.

Had one of our top elder lawyers give a talk and even they said it is not death that is the biggest crisis for most families but any form or incapacitation whether physical or mental. It can even come on suddenly like a stroke or slowly like dementia or ALS. We need to at least have a converstation and discuss various options for each spouse. And do not forget children that may be called on to drop everything.