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TMS, prayers your way and your mom, too.
TMS, I am sending you all best wishes, vibes, and prayer for your strength and comfort.
iris lilies
4-29-25, 9:36am
I am a petty, petty person. OK I admit it. Now with that out-of-the-way…
I’ll be attending 2 conventions this year. The first one is over. As usual, at the registration desk, they shove a bag full of crap at you. Usually, I take out the conference program and my name badge and hand the bag of crap back to the registration desk people because I just don’t want it, it irritates me.
But this time, oh no! The bags were personalized with our names on them. Sigh. So I sucked it up and took home the bag. And this bag will go down in conference history as THE WORST bag o’crap ever.
people actually crafted things for this bag. There’s a crocheted bookmark. Somebody sewed a fabric container for little Kleenex packages. And etc., I was going to count the number of items in the bag, but then I thought why should I spend my time doing that? I need to get over to the Simple Living Forums to register my complaint! Ha ha.
so here’s a picture of it all. It will all go into the trash later today so I don’t have to think about it anymore.
6314
iris lilies
4-29-25, 9:39am
Next weekend there’s another convention. They are giving information about where to register and where to “pick up your goodie bag.” Oh joy, another bag full of crap.
I think this obsession with tiny things in a bag is tied to the female sex. I would like to stop in at a convention of engineers and see what’s in their registration packet. I suspect there’s not 42 little bitsy items.
catherine
4-29-25, 10:30am
I am a petty, petty person. OK I admit it. Now with that out-of-the-way…
I’ll be attending 2 conventions this year. The first one is over. As usual, at the registration desk, they shove a bag full of crap at you. Usually, I take out the conference program and my name badge and hand the bag of crap back to the registration desk people because I just don’t want it, it irritates me.
But this time, oh no! The bags were personalized with our names on them. Sigh. So I sucked it up and took home the bag. And this bag will go down in conference history as THE WORST bag o’crap ever.
people actually crafted things for this bag. There’s a crocheted bookmark. Somebody sewed a fabric container for little Kleenex packages. And etc., I was going to count the number of items in the bag, but then I thought why should I spend my time doing that? I need to get over to the Simple Living Forums to register my complaint! Ha ha.
so here’s a picture of it all. It will all go into the trash later today so I don’t have to think about it anymore.
6314
That does look like a lot of crap.
At the convention I went to in February the bag had very little but a couple of the vendors had cool stuff. A really nice charger plug, a great reusable bag (similar to BAGGU), and of course, I always take a pen or two.
Yep, that’s a lot of crap. Into the trash it would go with me.
Ugh! That is a horrific amount of crap and many people's wasted time when they could be doing something way more useful with that money and time like reading to children, or helping adults with literacy, helping in a food kitchen and on and on...
iris lilies
4-30-25, 1:01pm
Ugh! That is a horrific amount of crap and many people's wasted time when they could be doing something way more useful with that money and time like reading to children, or helping adults with literacy, helping in a food kitchen and on and on...
Thanks for confirming this haul was over the top!
I’m sick of importers (customers) keeping asking us to commit customs fraud so they play less duty on China stuff. Some of this is on air freight, so departed well after the increases went into effect. You knew what was going on and you still chose to ship it? One customer who didn’t ask for fraud brought in a shipment worth $1.2 million. Total duties and fees were $1.8 million.
early morning
5-11-25, 6:04pm
And people still actually wonder aloud why prices are increasing. It's mind-blowing. Yet my BIL is still blaming all price increases on Biden and Obama. (Of course he's an idiot)
And people still actually wonder aloud why prices are increasing. It's mind-blowing. Yet my BIL is still blaming all price increases on Biden and Obama. (Of course he's an idiot)
We're going to just see actual price increases in the next month or two. Retailers and other companies front loaded by bringing in extra inventory. It's a matter of how long that lasts. Imports from China are of course more affected than stuff from other countries. There was also an in transit exemption for shipments that departed from origin BEFORE the reciprocals went into effect. The last of those shipments are now arriving or have arrived.
happystuff
5-11-25, 6:15pm
Deleted everything I typed and simply going to....
Sigh......
happystuff, we are doing a lot of that too. Now I am not even enjoying watching any news.
Happystuff, we are also doing a lot of that. Now I find no enjoyment about watching the "news".
Black fly season has started. I have a hard welt on my neck already.
iris lilies
5-12-25, 8:29am
Black fly season has started. I have a hard welt on my neck already.oh yuck! That is bad.
this reminds me of something I’m happy about: where I live, we can sit on the ground. We don’t have fire ants. Oh certain places have chiggers, but I don’t run into that where I live. Sitting on the grass is lovely. I was talking to someone about weeding our Iris beds and I said hey anymore I just sit on the ground and weed, but she can’t sit because the fire ants attack her
Black fly season has started. I have a hard welt on my neck already.
Gosh, those are awful!! We have experienced them in other places in Vermont, but luckily not where we are. We do have other annoying insects, though. Mayflies, for instance. One year we had so many frogs it was like an Egyptian plague.
iris lilies
5-12-25, 8:47pm
My cup runneth over with humans.
Duringthe last week of April, I went on a 6 day roadtrip that included a bunch of interaction with fellow humans. Then, I came home to be obligated to attend a two day convention. I skipped the part of riding in a bus with 50 people to visit Iris Gardens because I could not face being with that many people and no place to escape.Then I went to the dinner that night because it was a meeting where I had to take notes, as the secretary. So no sooner was that over, then a few days later I chaired a two day Iris show. Lots and lots and lots of interaction with – you got it, humans.
At one point during the Iris show, I went out into the hall and just sat down to get away from all the noise and chaos and the humans.
In 24 hours I’m chairing another Iris show which will involve humans of course. As well as Iris. From there I have a rest from humans for about two weeks before I plunge into June flower shows, garden tours, and road trips that end with seeing humans.
You know, I like you humans well enough, but it’s a little bit too much at the moment.��
Too people-y is what I call it.
iris lilies
5-12-25, 9:29pm
Too people-y is what I call it.
I actually enjoyed Covid times quite a lot. Those times were not very people-y.
I actually enjoyed Covid times quite a lot. Those times were not very people-y.
Actually so did I.
catherine
5-12-25, 11:13pm
Actually so did I.
Isolating didn't bother me much.
rosarugosa
5-13-25, 6:30am
It was definitely the silver lining for us introverts.
It was definitely the silver lining for us introverts.
Or single people used to being by themselves.
I am still in covid mode, love being without people- except husband. He's pretty good!! If i have a week with 2 zoom one on one meetings and then an in person and some phone chats, I am exhausted and need 5 days with nothing scheduled. I used to be busy, busy, working, meetings, dinners with friends...no more.
catherine
5-13-25, 11:12am
I am still in covid mode, love being without people- except husband. He's pretty good!! If i have a week with 2 zoom one on one meetings and then an in person and some phone chats, I am exhausted and need 5 days with nothing scheduled. I used to be busy, busy, working, meetings, dinners with friends...no more.
I am with you. I need time to recover even when my own kids come to visit. As far as work goes, I don't think I could ever go back to that intense way of life and all that travel. And I have no desire to.
ToomuchStuff
5-13-25, 3:10pm
I ASKED/VOLUNTEERED to have my hours cut, take time off from work during covid. Instead, my hours went way up. Then Steve died and I was given seven days to get all the PPP stuff together (that the two owners had pitched), while being asked to move into his house, take care of the pet and help with the estate.
Then I was put on his salary, which became a pay cut, while giving up tips (when they were at the highest ever, while before, people assumed I was related to the owners and I was lucky to get five dollars a day in tips).
Covid cost me a lot of money and time.
frugal-one
5-13-25, 8:50pm
I actually enjoyed Covid times quite a lot. Those times were not very people-y.
I cried a lot! Different strokes….
I do like to chill by myself especially after the recently very stressful days at work the past few months.
happystuff
5-14-25, 7:35am
I was still working - warehousing job at that point. Didn't feel like isolation so much when I schlepped out every day.
Personally, I hated Covid isolation. The worst was the masks as I have COPD. I just ended up not going anywhere. Grateful everyday that I can be out in the world. Enjoy being out with others, even if I am a big introvert and don't like parties. Covid felt like I was in the Twilight Zone as Burgess Meredith with broken glasses.
Personally, I hated Covid isolation. The worst was the masks as I have COPD. I just ended up not going anywhere. Grateful everyday that I can be out in the world. Enjoy being out with others, even if I am a big introvert and don't like parties. Covid felt like I was in the Twilight Zone as Burgess Meredith with broken glasses.
I hated the masks as I have horrid hot flashes. Thankfully I was out of work for 4 months and then WFH for 8 months so I didn’t have to wear them a ton.
Oh tybee, I remember the horror of that Twilight Zone episode. I'm sorry it was so hard for you and so many others.
Brides who can’t afford to invite you to their reception, but still expect a gift.
A friend from church’s son is getting married in a few weeks at our church. My choir will be singing as we have to. Orthodox services of all types are entirely sung. Anyway, normally the choir would be invited to the reception as a thank you. We found out this week at choir practice that the couple can’t afford to invite anyone who isn’t family to the reception. They’ve invited anyone in the parish to the ceremony itself.
The bride is from out of state and that’s where the couple will be living.
The problem with the entire situation is that the bride is making comments on social media (that I’ve seen myself) that she still expects gifts from people attending only the ceremony. The couple can’t afford to invite non-family to reception, yet still expects people to shell out cash. Very presumptuous of her. I won’t even bother with a card.
iris lilies
5-28-25, 7:53pm
Hey there Internet:
I bought a sofa. So you can now stop putting sofa ads in front of me. Thank you very much.
rosarugosa
5-29-25, 6:43am
Hey there Internet:
I bought a sofa. So you can now stop putting sofa ads in front of me. Thank you very much.
Having looked at one of the sofas linked on this thread, I too am seeing the sofa ads. So hey Internet, Iris bought a sofa, so please stop those ads for me as well, lol.
IL: we do need to see what you bought though.
Another day of work is going to be shot due to the court of international trade striking down Orange Man’s emergency tariffs. The idiot customers will be calling and asking when they can get refunds. The administration has already appealred and it’s going to take a good while for anything to happen.
I just cannot get my head around the thousands of people who do not know what is going on or what to do next. Cannot imagine the confusion of the small business owners caught in the middle or the employees who do not know if they have a job tomorrow. These things should not be decided by the courts since they never should have happened this way in the first place.
iris lilies
5-29-25, 9:25am
I just cannot get my head around the thousands of people who do not know what is going on or what to do next. Cannot imagine the confusion of the small business owners caught in the middle or the employees who do not know if they have a job tomorrow. These things should not be decided by the courts since they never should have happened this way in the first place.
I know, the chaos this is engendering! There’s one thing the business world likes, it is stability. This is not stability.
I am thinking the perpetual chaos and reading about it are affecting my mental health. I may try a total news break for a few days since most things we have no control over anyway.
Customers are expecting immediate refunds. I spent all morning laughing at the clueless and delusional emails I’ve been getting. Idiots. They don’t understand the concept of it has to work its way through the courts. The administration has 60 days to file an appeal.
I just cannot get my head around the thousands of people who do not know what is going on or what to do next. Cannot imagine the confusion of the small business owners caught in the middle or the employees who do not know if they have a job tomorrow. These things should not be decided by the courts since they never should have happened this way in the first place.
Should not be decided by the courts? Who the hell else is supposed to stop Orange Man? As it is, Congress isn’t doing squat and the administration is pretty much ignoring the courts on deportation cases so I expect that on this one.
iris lilies
5-29-25, 2:40pm
Having looked at one of the sofas linked on this thread, I too am seeing the sofa ads. So hey Internet, Iris bought a sofa, so please stop those ads for me as well, lol.
IL: we do need to see what you bought though.
maxwell loveseat 74” sold by Interior Define
you can Google it if you’re really interested, but it’s just a sofa. If I give you a link to it then the Internet will see me going back to that website thinking I want to look at sofas again.
Tradd, I was not clear. He should never have done it and therefore the courts should not need to be involved. Too much idiocy in Washington right now.
The latest crazy making story is: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/may/28/rfk-jr-oz-canadian-ostriches-avian-flu#:~:text=Universal%20Ostrich%2C%20a%20farm%20in ,a%20strain%20of%20bird%20flu.
Tradd, I was not clear. He should never have done it and therefore the courts should not need to be involved. Too much idiocy in Washington right now.
The latest crazy making story is: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/may/28/rfk-jr-oz-canadian-ostriches-avian-flu#:~:text=Universal%20Ostrich%2C%20a%20farm%20in ,a%20strain%20of%20bird%20flu.
Gotcha! Yeah, that bird one vax one is insane!
rosarugosa
5-30-25, 6:29am
maxwell loveseat 74” sold by Interior Define
you can Google it if you’re really interested, but it’s just a sofa. If I give you a link to it then the Internet will see me going back to that website thinking I want to look at sofas again.
Cute! What color? I don't think I could buy a sofa or chairs without being able to sit on them first. DH is 10" taller than me and more than twice my weight, so finding seating that suits us both is quite the Goldilocks endeavor.
iris lilies
5-30-25, 8:26am
Cute! What color? I don't think I could buy a sofa or chairs without being able to sit on them first. DH is 10" taller than me and more than twice my weight, so finding seating that suits us both is quite the Goldilocks endeavor.
I like this company because they had an extensive line of fabric choices. I chose French blue in a velvet.
Seat depth is a problem for me because I’m not especially tall although I’m not as short as you are. So I always get the smaller depth size.
Nice sofa, IL! Beautiful, and it looks comfortable enough for someone to sleep on.
Nice sofa, IL! Beautiful, and it looks comfortable enough for someone to sleep on.
That's an important aspect of sofa's for old retired folks like me. Several months ago we purchased a new sofa, recliners and an easy chair. I got caught performing a comfort test before we signed the deal.
https://scontent-det1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/489886854_10228143619831036_7847586271747375565_n. jpg?stp=cp6_dst-jpg_tt6&_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=127cfc&_nc_ohc=QVWgo3nx65YQ7kNvwGxWJrm&_nc_oc=Adk9FZWsV-aB4XTmSELmYlpMj_hJ5gD6b6hfJYRSh4GxFgfQqC-cWUwNmdVpTe1so1U&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-det1-1.xx&_nc_gid=VZwtzlshAFlthM6YLYX8hQ&oh=00_AfI10Tu7zO4-GNzO9EQgjc2q5iD_LSL22P7Eo_eNmoiKPw&oe=683F7F5F
iris lilies
5-30-25, 9:58am
That's an important aspect of sofa's for old retired folks like me. Several months ago we purchased a new sofa, recliners and an easy chair. I got caught performing a comfort test before we signed the deal.
https://scontent-det1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/489886854_10228143619831036_7847586271747375565_n. jpg?stp=cp6_dst-jpg_tt6&_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=127cfc&_nc_ohc=QVWgo3nx65YQ7kNvwGxWJrm&_nc_oc=Adk9FZWsV-aB4XTmSELmYlpMj_hJ5gD6b6hfJYRSh4GxFgfQqC-cWUwNmdVpTe1so1U&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-det1-1.xx&_nc_gid=VZwtzlshAFlthM6YLYX8hQ&oh=00_AfI10Tu7zO4-GNzO9EQgjc2q5iD_LSL22P7Eo_eNmoiKPw&oe=683F7F5F
That’s the way Alan!!!!
DH will be sitting on it to watch TV, but I didn’t have him test it. We will have to get a footstool for him because he’s used to reclining.
I did have him test the chair recliner we bought some months ago for our living room. It is not especially attractive, but in the world of recliners it’s not nearly as bad as it could be.
That's an important aspect of sofa's for old retired folks like me. Several months ago we purchased a new sofa, recliners and an easy chair. I got caught performing a comfort test before we signed the deal.
https://scontent-det1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/489886854_10228143619831036_7847586271747375565_n. jpg?stp=cp6_dst-jpg_tt6&_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=127cfc&_nc_ohc=QVWgo3nx65YQ7kNvwGxWJrm&_nc_oc=Adk9FZWsV-aB4XTmSELmYlpMj_hJ5gD6b6hfJYRSh4GxFgfQqC-cWUwNmdVpTe1so1U&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-det1-1.xx&_nc_gid=VZwtzlshAFlthM6YLYX8hQ&oh=00_AfI10Tu7zO4-GNzO9EQgjc2q5iD_LSL22P7Eo_eNmoiKPw&oe=683F7F5F
My mother would've come along and smacked you for having your shoes on the furniture! :D
My mother would've come along and smacked you for having your shoes on the furniture! :D
Only the heels, and only one of those! I was trying to be respectful. :devil:
happystuff
5-31-25, 8:51am
You BARELY just fit, Alan. LOL. Does look comfy, though.
Orange Man just announced yesterday that steel/aluminum duties will increase to 50% on Wednesday. Currently 25%. There goes Monday at work with all the questions from customers. No EO yet. I had to bring a ton of files home this weekend as I had kept pushing them to the side.
iris lilies
5-31-25, 11:13am
More crap from flower show ladies. this crap will ride around in my car until I can dispose of it responsibly. It all has strings attached.ugh.
I really wish Amazon would allow you to return all items you request a refund for. There have been a couple things recently that they say they will issue the refund without the item being returned. It's not what I wanted so I would much rather return it than keep it or declutter it eventually. Also, for dishonest people, it seems like an easy scam to pull. Get the refund and still use the item basically getting it for free.
I really wish Amazon would allow you to return all items you request a refund for. There have been a couple things recently that they say they will issue the refund without the item being returned. It's not what I wanted so I would much rather return it than keep it or declutter it eventually. Also, for dishonest people, it seems like an easy scam to pull. Get the refund and still use the item basically getting it for free.
There are some things it's not worth it for Amazon to take the item back. Costs too much.
More crap from flower show ladies. this crap will ride around in my car until I can dispose of it responsibly. It all has strings attached.ugh.
If someone gives me crap I don't want, I have NO issues pitching it.
ToomuchStuff
6-1-25, 5:46pm
Alan, mind if I ask how tall you are?
At this point, even if I beat the cancer, it may take me a while to get the strength up to put up my furniture. I may just have to have it delivered.
Alan, mind if I ask how tall you are?
5'11" through middle age, more like 5'10" now at 70. If you're asking in order to determine the size of the couch, it's 84" wide from outside arm to outside arm, 72" from inside arm to inside arm.
ToomuchStuff
6-1-25, 9:35pm
Thank you.
This is one thing that I am noticing, some measure the seating area of the couch, others measure how much space it takes up.
iris lilies
6-1-25, 9:56pm
Thank you.
This is one thing that I am noticing, some measure the seating area of the couch, others measure how much space it takes up.
Well, you need both measurements. You need the actual arm to arm measurement to know if it will fit in your space and how it fits in your space.
If you expect someone to sleep on it, you have to see if there’s adequate space for people to stretch out in a reasonable way Between the arms. I am 64 inches so my new 74 inch sofa will fit me just fine.
iris lilies
6-3-25, 1:45pm
If someone gives me crap I don't want, I have NO issues pitching it.
Yes, I came home with it and immediately put part of it into trash.
but she gave me floral containers with a proviso that I offer them to one other person in our garden club, the things I didn’t want. So since I don’t want any of them, I have to offer them to this other person. The other person is not someone I will see until July. So I sent her photos of all the containers and she picked out two.
That is progress, I can dispose of the rest anytime I like. One of them is good, so I will see that our new flower show student has first dibs at it, the rest of it I don’t care.
i’ve been taking boat loads of flower crap for disposal almost a decade now. I remember soon after I retired I had to clean out the storage shed for our Lily society. It was so depressing because so many little voices in the society offer their opinion that the stuff is good, but guess what they don’t want it.
Oh, I have a story. This is ridiculous. Y’all won’t believe this – DH who is so accommodating and so nice, drove a whole carload of specialized Lily show containers from our defunct liky society up north to the Iowa Lily Society, or that was the intent. Since he was going up north to Iowa, anyway…
One person refused the shipment. The other person was always unavailable and so he didn’t make a connection. He drove those items, a carload, back home to St. Louis. After that little fruitless exercise I felt no compunction in just getting rid of them.
And this year, the Iowa Lily Society is disbanding so they will have their own problems in disposing of their crap. I was bemused to see in their newsletter where they were talking about how to get rid of their precious “properties “one person suggested melting down their trophies. This is hilarious because these trophies are silver plate and they are completely worthless.
TLDR: people are dumb about the value of their stuff. Hey, this is the rant thread, and I get to rant about it!
Yes, people are very dumb about the value of their stuff.
We just had our outdoor shed fixed up because it was starting to fall apart and the roof leaked like a sieve. So I had to take all my stuff out of it (it's "my" shed; DH has "his" shed.). I've been able to get rid of a lot of stuff--three contractor bags so far.
Some things I do hate just ditching, though, like the air mattress we bought for an occasion that never came to fruition. I say we put it on the curb with a "free" sign--DH says to just throw it away. The "throwing it away" isn't only irritating to me just because it's one more thing in the landfill--it's like throwing away $50 because no one got to use it We could have better spent that $50. So I'm going to put it up on the street. If SOMEONE gets use out of it, I don't feel as bad about wasting the money.
iris lilies
6-3-25, 2:20pm
Catherine, I guess if you haven’t used that air mattress by now you won’t be using it, but it seems like a very practical thing for you all to have since you have so many people come and stay with you.
I agree with IL that - with all your family - there may be use in the future. That said, if you still want to get rid of it, I agree with putting it out with a FREE sign.
iris lilies
6-8-25, 10:10am
Yesterday was Day 1 of our town’s Garden Tour. It rained off and on all day. Only 35 people came through our garden. Today will be sunny, hopefully more people come through.
At these numbers it is hardly worth all of the work the committee does to put this thing on.
In the city when we were on garden tour we had a few hundred come through our garden and had a thousand in our house when our house was on the tour.
Catherine, I guess if you haven’t used that air mattress by now you won’t be using it, but it seems like a very practical thing for you all to have since you have so many people come and stay with you.
Don't you all have a Freecycle or Buy Nothing network in your area? I use Freecycle regularly. Someone usually needs or wants stuff I don't. I think I first heard of Freecycle here on this board!
ETA I meant this directed to Catherine,sorry Iris.
Spent 2 hours on the phone this morning with Vanguard dealing with CS reps that speak a mottled English. Had 2 issues..one they should have known how to fix easily and the other where I believe they lost previously submitted paperwork so it has to be redone. Will get notarized and mailed tomorrow. A wearing experience….
Catherine, I guess if you haven’t used that air mattress by now you won’t be using it, but it seems like a very practical thing for you all to have since you have so many people come and stay with you.
We have another one! The one I'm getting rid of is difficult to pump up and very cheap. We "upgraded" to one that pumps itself and is higher off the ground and more comfortable. And, we never use air mattresses. I anticipate only using it if I get around to really deep cleaning the mudroom, which usually winds up being a way-station for recycling, extra serving stuff, liquor, etc.
iris lilies
6-10-25, 3:11pm
We have another one! The one I'm getting rid of is difficult to pump up and very cheap. We "upgraded" to one that pumps itself and is higher off the ground and more comfortable. And, we never use air mattresses. I anticipate only using it if I get around to really deep cleaning the mudroom, which usually winds up being a way-station for recycling, extra serving stuff, liquor, etc.
oh heavens for sure get rid of the back up second thing that doesn’t work well.
You never know when life can turn on a dime - my spouse, out of the blue with no warning, was let go (ie. fired) from his job on Friday six months before his full retirement age. It was a very difficult, technical job which required extreme attention to detail (Application Support Analysist) and even he said as he's gotten older that it's been harder for him to multi-task all the different technical things he had to do during the day. But no one (his boss, his bosses boss) pulled him aside to say anything specific about his performance. It came as such a shock to us and one could twist themselves into a pretzel and drive oneself crazy about the reasons.
So what to do now? We are going to have to buy at least one month of COBRA health insurance. I have an appointment on Monday to talk to someone about getting signed up for Medicaid (BeWell New Mexico) and K. can apply for full Medicare (he is already signed up for Part A). I can't help but be extremely worried about the stoopid Big, Beautiful Bill and even getting on Medicaid; thank GOD I live in a very blue, but very poor state (we do get a lot of oil & tax revenues, so I now the state budget has a surplus for now). I am 15 months from being able to sign up for Medicare.
I made him sit down with me to go over our bare minimum monthly expenses and even I was a little shocked to see it all add up. His salary was so good (six figures) for the past 2.5 years that I lost a little bit of my frugal bone and he never had one. I think we will be all right due to our savings and the fact that I was approved for SSDI. I won't get that much but when I add in my little monthly IRA distribution and the job I manage to work at one day a week it is more than a little chunk of money. He already has a job interview tomorrow and has put out his resume to several recruiters anyway because he was so stressed in that job. I know the job market is getting bad though and who is going to hire a 66 year old when there are all these kids with computer science degrees looking for jobs...
He will be filing for unemployment today so there's that. And he is committed to severely pulling back our spending to just the bare essentials. Now I am really glad we stocked up on a lot of food and other essentials at the start of the trade war two months ago. I guess the thing that worries me the most is the health insurance stuff. I still have ongoing issues with my shoulder and arm. On the day he got fired I was getting an EMG and ultrasound of the brachial plexus. I don't know yet how serious this is but she found a lot of fluid in that area, which shouldn't be there a year after surgery. So more doctor visits for a followup locally and there is a possibility that I have to go back to St. Louis at some point too, but I'll cross that bridge when/if it comes to that.
Ughhhhhh, just ugggghhhh.
iris lilies
6-29-25, 11:29am
Wow, what a shock SiouzQ. So sorry to hear.
catherine
6-29-25, 11:39am
Oh, wow, SiouzQ! I'm so sorry! "Man plans and God laughs..." But it's really not funny at all.
It looks like you have a good plan in place for next steps.. I hope the both the health issue and the job search go well. And it's great that you have savings.
I have to say, I'm in "bare bones" mode, too, since I haven't worked in 3 months now--which hasn't happened since the mid-90s. DH's boat tour business has potential for keeping us afloat (pun intended) for the summer, and in the meantime, ChatGBT and I are working on possibilities for a spin-off for my business that might give me more control and comparable income.
I'm also in a similar situation as you because I am way more frugal than DH. He laughs at me for some my frugal ways--I think his attitude towards money is a backlash from his frugal mother and grandparents and he associates frugality with lack, not security or future abundance. When I bring up facts about our situation, he tells me not to be Debbie Downer. It's a very hard barrier to overcome.
Anyway, these are new times, for sure. My DD checked out COBRA because she has realized, throughout her sickness that she really hates working at her current position. She just returned from Family Medical Leave and she's re-evaluating her life, and working at her present job does not fit into the picture for her. But COBRA is 2800/month!! Talk about the golden handcuffs that keep you tied to your boss! We need universal healthcare.
happystuff
6-29-25, 11:49am
I'm so sorry for both the health issues and the job issue. I hope both get resolved in a positive way soon.
COBRA IS EXPENSIVE!!! I don't understand how anyone can afford it.
Catherine, my dh used to be like yours when I bought up our situation. I finally told him- in no uncertain terms - that all I was doing was keeping him updated and that if he didn't want to know, then he would have to leave everything up to me! He still leaves everything to me, but he doesn't grumble or say "you're always depressing", when I tell him what's going on.
OMG, $2800 a month????!!!! Lord have mercy...it might be cheaper for me to just pay for the test I had done (instead of paying a claim on the day the service was performed, BCBS uses the day they RECEIVE the claim, which could be a week to two weeks from the date of service). He'll still get the last paycheck next Friday which will have the deduction for healthcare taken out, so I'm not sure when our healthcare will actually end.
catherine
6-29-25, 12:01pm
OMG, $2800 a month????!!!! Lord have mercy...it might be cheaper for me to just pay for the test I had done (instead of paying a claim on the day the service was performed, BCBS uses the day they RECEIVE the claim, which could be a week to two weeks from the date of service). He'll still get the last paycheck next Friday which will have the deduction for healthcare taken out, so I'm not sure when our healthcare will actually end.
For you it might be way different... her COBRA is based on a family of three, and she had signed up for the Cadillac plan at work. But, in my experience, COBRA is never a good deal, even though they make it sound like it might be.
rosarugosa
6-29-25, 1:09pm
From my HR days, insurance coverage typically ends on the last day of employment. COBRA is so expensive because it's the full-price, non-employer-subsidized amount with an administrative fee tacked on (at my former employer it was a 2% fee).
I'm sorry for your situation, SiouzQ, and I'm sorry for both you and your DD's situations, Catherine. I think you are a creative problem solver and look forward to hearing what you come up with. After DH's kidney cancer, we can look back and see that we at least used it to pull out some silver lining stuff and make life changes that left us better off, so I hope something similar happens with your DD.
iris lilies
6-29-25, 2:20pm
I am confused why everyone is talking as though COBRA coverage is the only choice.That or “Universal health care.”
Do you all remember that thing called The Affordable Care Act (Obamacare?)
Sure, if you changed to an ACA policy you may have to change providers and for those in the midst of sophisticated treatments that is not optimal, but there ARE options. We took COBRA coverage when I quit work for the maximum time allowed and sure it was expensive, but I wanted out. DH was resistent to hearing anything about an ACA policy and I didnt want to fight with him about it so I just sucked it up and paid the COBRA costs for 18 months. We could afford it.
Then when COBRA coverage ran out, we HAD to switch to an ACA policy and due to our low income I think it was practically free. That was a great year! We went to Europe on money we would have been paying into COBRA coverage.
catherine, your daughter can use an ACA policy and the ACA made sure people like her are not denied coverage.
Give me a break with the talk about handcuffs and “only solution is Universal health care.”
frugal-one
6-29-25, 2:41pm
You never know when life can turn on a dime - my spouse, out of the blue with no warning, was let go (ie. fired) from his job on Friday six months before his full retirement age. It was a very difficult, technical job which required extreme attention to detail (Application Support Analysist) and even he said as he's gotten older that it's been harder for him to multi-task all the different technical things he had to do during the day. But no one (his boss, his bosses boss) pulled him aside to say anything specific about his performance. It came as such a shock to us and one could twist themselves into a pretzel and drive oneself crazy about the reasons.
So what to do now? We are going to have to buy at least one month of COBRA health insurance. I have an appointment on Monday to talk to someone about getting signed up for Medicaid (BeWell New Mexico) and K. can apply for full Medicare (he is already signed up for Part A). I can't help but be extremely worried about the stoopid Big, Beautiful Bill and even getting on Medicaid; thank GOD I live in a very blue, but very poor state (we do get a lot of oil & tax revenues, so I now the state budget has a surplus for now). I am 15 months from being able to sign up for Medicare.
I made him sit down with me to go over our bare minimum monthly expenses and even I was a little shocked to see it all add up. His salary was so good (six figures) for the past 2.5 years that I lost a little bit of my frugal bone and he never had one. I think we will be all right due to our savings and the fact that I was approved for SSDI. I won't get that much but when I add in my little monthly IRA distribution and the job I manage to work at one day a week it is more than a little chunk of money. He already has a job interview tomorrow and has put out his resume to several recruiters anyway because he was so stressed in that job. I know the job market is getting bad though and who is going to hire a 66 year old when there are all these kids with computer science degrees looking for jobs...
He will be filing for unemployment today so there's that. And he is committed to severely pulling back our spending to just the bare essentials. Now I am really glad we stocked up on a lot of food and other essentials at the start of the trade war two months ago. I guess the thing that worries me the most is the health insurance stuff. I still have ongoing issues with my shoulder and arm. On the day he got fired I was getting an EMG and ultrasound of the brachial plexus. I don't know yet how serious this is but she found a lot of fluid in that area, which shouldn't be there a year after surgery. So more doctor visits for a followup locally and there is a possibility that I have to go back to St. Louis at some point too, but I'll cross that bridge when/if it comes to that.
Ughhhhhh, just ugggghhhh.
Keep in touch with folks at that employer. If they replace him with a younger person, he could possibly file a claim of age discrimination. Worth watching.
rosarugosa
6-29-25, 3:46pm
My sister is retiring next week at age 62, and she has purchased a policy through Aetna. I don't know all the details, but I think it was reasonably affordable.
You never know when life can turn on a dime - my spouse, out of the blue with no warning, was let go (ie. fired) from his job on Friday six months before his full retirement age. It was a very difficult, technical job which required extreme attention to detail (Application Support Analysist) and even he said as he's gotten older that it's been harder for him to multi-task all the different technical things he had to do during the day. But no one (his boss, his bosses boss) pulled him aside to say anything specific about his performance. It came as such a shock to us and one could twist themselves into a pretzel and drive oneself crazy about the reasons.
So what to do now? We are going to have to buy at least one month of COBRA health insurance. I have an appointment on Monday to talk to someone about getting signed up for Medicaid (BeWell New Mexico) and K. can apply for full Medicare (he is already signed up for Part A). I can't help but be extremely worried about the stoopid Big, Beautiful Bill and even getting on Medicaid; thank GOD I live in a very blue, but very poor state (we do get a lot of oil & tax revenues, so I now the state budget has a surplus for now). I am 15 months from being able to sign up for Medicare.
I made him sit down with me to go over our bare minimum monthly expenses and even I was a little shocked to see it all add up. His salary was so good (six figures) for the past 2.5 years that I lost a little bit of my frugal bone and he never had one. I think we will be all right due to our savings and the fact that I was approved for SSDI. I won't get that much but when I add in my little monthly IRA distribution and the job I manage to work at one day a week it is more than a little chunk of money. He already has a job interview tomorrow and has put out his resume to several recruiters anyway because he was so stressed in that job. I know the job market is getting bad though and who is going to hire a 66 year old when there are all these kids with computer science degrees looking for jobs...
He will be filing for unemployment today so there's that. And he is committed to severely pulling back our spending to just the bare essentials. Now I am really glad we stocked up on a lot of food and other essentials at the start of the trade war two months ago. I guess the thing that worries me the most is the health insurance stuff. I still have ongoing issues with my shoulder and arm. On the day he got fired I was getting an EMG and ultrasound of the brachial plexus. I don't know yet how serious this is but she found a lot of fluid in that area, which shouldn't be there a year after surgery. So more doctor visits for a followup locally and there is a possibility that I have to go back to St. Louis at some point too, but I'll cross that bridge when/if it comes to that.
Ughhhhhh, just ugggghhhh.
Depending on what happens with Medicaid, also talk with an independent insurance agent about a policy for you. When I was laid off during covid, I got a catastrophic plan for 6 months because COBRA was too expensive. Independent agents are a good resource and a place to start.
The lady I made the appointment with called me to confirm for tomorrow and it turns out the BeWell New Mexico is the ACA exchange for the state and Medicaid is separate from that. She is going to go over the plans with me tomorrow and I can also go to the Human Services Dept of New Mexico to see if I qualify for Medicaid.
K. was a contractor and our insurance was not covered by the company he worked for; rather he got the insurance through the contract company. He had to pay the total of the monthly premiums out of his paycheck each time. We'll find out a lot more on Monday. At any rate since tomorrow is the 30th whatever happens I probably won't get new coverage until August 1st.
I'm mad that I had just hit the out-of-pocket max for the year in mid-May when everything then got covered 100% and I had paid off all my old medical bills that had piled up. I don't want to start all over with that in the middle part of the year!
The lady I made the appointment with called me to confirm for tomorrow and it turns out the BeWell New Mexico is the ACA exchange for the state and Medicaid is separate from that. She is going to go over the plans with me tomorrow and I can also go to the Human Services Dept of New Mexico to see if I qualify for Medicaid.
K. was a contractor and our insurance was not covered by the company he worked for; rather he got the insurance through the contract company. He had to pay the total of the monthly premiums out of his paycheck each time. We'll find out a lot more on Monday. At any rate since tomorrow is the 30th whatever happens I probably won't get new coverage until August 1st.
I'm mad that I had just hit the out-of-pocket max for the year in mid-May when everything then got covered 100% and I had paid off all my old medical bills that had piled up. I don't want to start all over with that in the middle part of the year!
So sorry to hear about his job. But he can go and get on full Medicare, part B, and that is only 185 a month, if he does not yet collect SS. If he collects SS they take it out of there. And I thought since you won your disability case that you should be eligible for Medicaid?
happystuff
6-30-25, 8:04am
Okay, so this is just a little "back of my mind" thought. You said they didn't tell him why they were letting him go? I'm wondering if he might have some legal recourse, especially seeing as how they are letting him go so close to his retirement. Are there things they will avoid paying by letting him go versus him reaching retirement? It just sounds a bit fishy to me.
Regardless, good luck to you both!
Okay, so this is just a little "back of my mind" thought. You said they didn't tell him why they were letting him go? I'm wondering if he might have some legal recourse, especially seeing as how they are letting him go so close to his retirement. Are there things they will avoid paying by letting him go versus him reaching retirement? It just sounds a bit fishy to me.
Regardless, good luck to you both!
Yes, I wondered the same thing--if there is a pension he is being cut out of. This is common and it would be good to talk to an attorney if this might be the case.
Second,here is an article about disability and health insurance:
Do You Get Medicare or Medicaid if You're Disabled? (https://www.disabilitysecrets.com/will-i-get-medicare-medicaid-with-disability.html)
iris lilies
6-30-25, 10:33am
Yes, I wondered the same thing--if there is a pension he is being cut out of. This is common and it would be good to talk to an attorney if this might be the case.
Second,here is an article about disability and health insurance:
Do You Get Medicare or Medicaid if You're Disabled? (https://www.disabilitysecrets.com/will-i-get-medicare-medicaid-with-disability.html)
He’s a contract worker. I doubt there is a pension.
He’s a contract worker. I doubt there is a pension.
Siouz, when you said full retirement age, I misread it and thought there was a pension. Sorry to get that wrong. Were you meaning FRA for SS? If so, will he take SS at FRA, and would it pay for you to collect spousal benefit at that time?
early morning
6-30-25, 12:39pm
SouizQ, I am so sorry. Hoping you get some good news today re: health care coverage!
happystuff
6-30-25, 1:32pm
Me as well - contract part didn't click in my head. Again, hope things work out for you both.
K. found out yesterday that he was let go because his contract was not extended. It would have been nice to get a little head's up. There is no pension as he was a contract gig worker, or as he says, he works for pimps, lol!
It turns out I am eligible for Medicaid. The Medicaid office called yesterday when they recived my application and needed some more information to clear things up. Right now we are waiting for his contract company to send an official letter of release so that they know that he is not working there anymore and I can then tell the Medicaid office. I should have a plan number very soon and will have been eligible to start care on July 1 (today), since I got the application in yesterday. Whew!
I think the plan is that he is going to buy a month's worth of COBRA to cover himself (he is a Type 1 diabetic) or he can get on the ACA Exchange. There is so much going on in our household right now we are scrambling to get things done.
Wow that is fantastic news about your coverage starting July!! Hooray.
How fast can he get on the ACA exchange?
Probably pretty quickly if he gets to it. Today he is applying for unemployment and that's a big PITA in itself. Probably what he should really do is sign up for the rest of Medicare that he is qualified for but until I get squared away with my own healthcare I think his best bet is to pay for one month of COBRA and that should pay for the diagnostic testing I had last Friday. Then he really needs to sit down with one of those insurance agents that specialize in helping people get set up on Medicare. Just so much in flux right now and my lower back is KILLING me but I don't want to complain because he has enough stress going on, so I'm doing my complaining here.
iris lilies
7-1-25, 11:36am
I think you are right to have him cover one month of COBRA for you in case you need it.
But in the long run it sounds as though it will all work out.
Kudos to you both for jumping on all this a getting it worked out.
You cannot make this up, I promise you...after buying a NEW WALLET on Saturday after we'd been to the bank to get him a new bank card, and then him spending today getting a temporary driver's license and some other stuff, he MISPLACED THAT WALLET AS WELL!
We have just spent over an hour retracing his steps where he'd gone to our local store to get something to drink. He came home and I was about to start dinner and he's just swearing and stomping all around because he LOST his new wallet. I went back to the store (separate from him) and the girl who works the counter pulled up the security video where he was buying his stuff, taking his wallet out to pay, puttting it back in, going back to the truck. We both looked EVERYWHERE to no avail. By this time I am kind of pissed because this cannot keep happening, it's ridiculous...and we're both scouting around the truck, the yard, the garbage cans with flashlights, the laundry basket, etc etc.
It was so very weird, like the earth had just opened up and swallowed it. Finally, I was admitting defeat and about to stop looking for the evening and he suddeny shouted out that he had found it - it was wedged between the armrest and seat of his office chair (of which he probably looked at FIVE times) and totally blended in with the pleather so it looked like part of his chair.
Gawd, I just can't deal with him losing shit all the time like a child. I am still kind of pissed but very relieved. And getting nowhere with the health insurance stuff yet.
He needs to put a tracker in it. AirTag for iPhone and Tile for Android. I swear by AirTags. They’re in my purse and keys. Link up to the Find My app on phone.
We spend a fair bit of time looking for DH's wallet, keys, Fitbit and/or reading glasses. Fortunately, they've always turned up, at least so far.
When I worked in NYC in my 20s I had three wallets and one whole pocketbook stolen. Except for one wallet, all were retrieved, minus the cash. The considerate thieves took that and then put the wallet/pocketbook in a mailbox.
Glad he found it... and I agree with Tradd. Get an AirTag!
Ugh! I can't even imagine losing a wallet... or two!!! Glad he found it!
early morning
7-8-25, 6:24pm
That poor guy must feel awful, losing his job, his wallet, his replacement wallet ,
( And maybe his mind, his confidence, his equilibrium...):|(. Ok I'm projecting but that was my DH a while back. I feel for you both.
Oh my gosh, how exhausting! He needs to stay home for a few days. Or maybe get one of those wallets with the chain & clip it to his belt loop.
I did suggest a biker wallet with a chain - I happen to work one day a week in a t-shirt shop that caters to bikers and has these types of wallets. Not sure he's going to go with that but he said that he was going to keep his wallet in the shoulder bag he uses to carry his insulin stuff around in. Now we just have to keep track of THAT bag at all times. He has a bit of ADHD so I am cognizant of all his stressors right now. I suggested he go back to his doctor and get some more ADHD meds (he only gets 30 Aderall every three months). We'll see.
Right now we are still in the mess of trying to get me some sort of health plan. I seem to be stuck in the quagmire of healthcare plans by qualifying this month for one type of Medicaid that only caters to people that need birth control (lol, I am way past menopause) and then starting August 1st I'll be on a true Medicaid plan except by then we'll have to report his unemployment income and that will kick me off that plan because between my SSDI and his unemployment we will be earning too much. Only the will I be released to get on the ACA...it's really ridiculous. I am waiting for a call back from one agency to see if they can get me on the ACA asap so this isn't some weird drawn-out debacle.
iris lilies
7-9-25, 1:04pm
I remember when DH was toggling off an ACA plan onto Medicare and there was a 6 minth period where he didnt qualify for ACA according to the little gubmnt bureaucrats because he had $0 income with me no longer carrying the ACA policy. They wanted to push him off onto Medicaid. Not on life was he going to do that.
We just kept sending the little bureaucrats paperwork and they kept asking for more, and we knew we had to maintain a only few months of that ridiculous paperwork exchange until he could officially get onto Medicare. The default with the ACA was that once covered, while your eligibility for renewal was bing evaluated you were still covered. I think anyway. I know I was worried during those few months, about 3 months of real worry.
Despite spending more time on the phone, my healthcare situation is still not resolved. There is no way around it - it seems that up until the end of the month I only qualify for the Family Planning Medicaid (nothing in it works for me as I don't need birth control nor pre-natal care). On August 1st I start Medicaid but by then our income will most likely be to high for me to stay on Medicaid and ONLY then will I be released to be able to apply for the ACA. No if, ands or buts and I am too hot and grumpy to keep calling to try and figure out a way to expedite it.
And weirdly enough, K's former employer STILL hasn't sent any information to us about COBRA so I don't know what is going on with that. I have cancelled about 5 different appointments in these past two weeks due to the fear of somehow being on the hook to pay for these appointments.
Edited To Update: we found out for some reason it can take up to 45 days for COBRA information to be sent (by law). What kind of weird rule is that? I just wanted to know how much it was going to cost us to buy a month or two of COBRA. It's buyer beware - I'm not running up a bunch of bills only to find out that COBRA is some astronomical sum anyway...
iris lilies
7-11-25, 6:15pm
I would be nervous too about being on the hook for appointments without clear documentation or knowledge from your husband’s COBRA cover
what is that about the Medicaid family planning plan that doesn’t work for you? I mean, I know you don’t need the birth control and etc., but does it offer anything other than family planning?
"The NM Family Planning Medicaid program covers a range of services related to contraception, pregnancy prevention, and related healthcare. This includes prescription and over-the-counter birth control, emergency contraception, annual exams like Pap smears, and STD screenings and treatment. Additionally, it covers services like HPV vaccines, elective sterilizations (when performed in a contraceptive management context), and pregnancy tests."
Ummm, yeah...nope, nothing I could possibly need.
iris lilies
7-11-25, 7:01pm
"The NM Family Planning Medicaid program covers a range of services related to contraception, pregnancy prevention, and related healthcare. This includes prescription and over-the-counter birth control, emergency contraception, annual exams like Pap smears, and STD screenings and treatment. Additionally, it covers services like HPV vaccines, elective sterilizations (when performed in a contraceptive management context), and pregnancy tests."
Ummm, yeah...nope, nothing I could possibly need.
I see, it is just what it says: exclusively family planning services. It must be on a different qualifying time track to allow people to jump on it immediately (?)
happystuff
7-12-25, 7:51am
So sorry you are still having issues, SiouzQ. I hope you gets some answers quickly.
Got home about 8 (after massage) and a car without handicapped placard or plates was in the handicapped spot by my door that I park in. Took photos of plate and windshield showing no handing placard or one on dash. Called the cops and they came out and wrote a $250 ticket to this person.
catherine
7-14-25, 11:04pm
Got home about 8 (after massage) and a car without handicapped placard or plates was in the handicapped spot by my door that I park in. Took photos of plate and windshield showing no handing placard or one on dash. Called the cops and they came out and wrote a $250 ticket to this person.
Good, Tradd. People feel so entitled, and taking a handicapped spot is just so selfish.
I had a car incident this week, too. We have a car that my NJ son keeps up here because he bought a new car and chose to keep the original car instead of trading it in. That way he could fly up and use the spare car when he visited, and we have an extra sedan if we need it for any reason. Well, BIL called us last week to tell us his car broke down on his way to work. So we loaned him the spare car. He called me on Sunday to tell me the car was stolen out of his landlord's private parking lot on Saturday night.
My son (the one who owns the car) called the police and his insurance company and figured he'd get a couple of thousand for his claim. But today we learned the stolen car was recovered by the police. Not sure what shape it's in, but what a pain. Also BIL's car is costing $1000 to fix. I told BIL that he has to pay us back, even $50 a month--whatever he can afford. That's against the Dave Ramsey rules (never loan family money--if you want to give it, give it as a gift)
ETA:
I'm stacking rants on this post. Unrelated, I was thinking about how much I dislike whining. Kids do it, adults do it, everyone does it at one time or another, but to me a whine is the cry of the helpless. Don't whine--do something! If you can't do anything, get over it! OK.Rant over.
Did the car come back? Is it okay?
Did the car come back? Is it okay?
The car was found by the police, and when DH went to get it from the tow company and reported to the family by text:
"Did find the following [referring to a photo], plus there are 7 syringes in passenger door pocket. Their clothes and backpacks still in car. Looks like they were busted at “Mickey D” - whole bag of untouched food. I guess they felt 'they deserve a break today at McDonalds' and stole our car to get there!"
He said the car looks untouched but the engine isn't running--we suspect it's just a dead battery.
The car was found by the police, and when DH went to get it from the tow company and reported to the family by text:
"Did find the following [referring to a photo], plus there are 7 syringes in passenger door pocket. Their clothes and backpacks still in car. Looks like they were busted at “Mickey D” - whole bag of untouched food. I guess they felt 'they deserve a break today at McDonalds' and stole our car to get there!"
He said the car looks untouched but the engine isn't running--we suspect it's just a dead battery.
Wow. Hope it's just the dead battery.
Seven syringes!!
I was supposed to dive yesterday, but that didn't happen. Was with a group from the dive shop I frequent. As I got there it was pouring cats and dogs, and the people who were there earlier were getting out of the water when it started lightning and the dive site set off the lightning signal. So we're all hunkered down under a big pavilion. One of the divers from the first group was having some issues and was hyperventilating when she was coming out of the water. They got her out of her gear and laid her down on a picnic table. Her lips and hands/forearms were turning blue, so they quickly got on O2. Then she was vomiting and went unconscious, not breathing and no pulse. People did CPR on her for 10 minutes while waiting for ambulance. I just found out the diver died.
After the ambulance took her away, everyone packed up and went home. No mood to dive anymore, plus it was still raining hard.
I was supposed to dive yesterday, but that didn't happen. Was with a group from the dive shop I frequent. As I got there it was pouring cats and dogs, and the people who were there earlier were getting out of the water when it started lightning and the dive site set off the lightning signal. So we're all hunkered down under a big pavilion. One of the divers from the first group was having some issues and was hyperventilating when she was coming out of the water. They got her out of her gear and laid her down on a picnic table. Her lips and hands/forearms were turning blue, so they quickly got on O2. Then she was vomiting and went unconscious, not breathing and no pulse. People did CPR on her for 10 minutes while waiting for ambulance. I just found out the diver died.
After the ambulance took her away, everyone packed up and went home. No mood to dive anymore, plus it was still raining hard.
OMG. How terrible.
iris lilies
7-20-25, 3:24pm
Tradd I am SO sorry to hear this!
We don't really know what happened. Instructor friend called me when I texted her late this morning to ask how the diver was. That's when I found out she had died. Friend told me it could have been a medical event that happened underwater, but we'll know more after the autopsy.
happystuff
7-20-25, 3:58pm
How very sad! And scary! Prayers going out.
How awful, Tradd! A traumatic experience seeing someone suffer like that! Was she seemingly healthy? How old was she?
rosarugosa
7-21-25, 6:23am
Wow Tradd, so sorry. Certainly not the pleasant day you had planned.
rosarugosa
7-21-25, 6:42am
So knowing how short our collective attention span is as a society, I should have good reason to hope that I'll eventually stop seeing the ubiquitous pictures of that couple at the Coldplay concert, right? RIGHT?
So knowing how short our collective attention span is as a society, I should have good reason to hope that I'll eventually stop seeing the ubiquitous pictures of that couple at the Coldplay concert, right? RIGHT?
6456
rosarugosa
7-22-25, 6:22am
6456
:laff::laff::laff:
So sorry Tradd, how awful and so sad and sobering for everyone.
So sorry Tradd, how awful and so sad and sobering for everyone.
Yes, and still waiting to hear if we get news on the autopsy report to see what she died of.
Wow Tradd, so sorry. Certainly not the pleasant day you had planned.
Definitely not when you essentially have someone die in front of you.
I had a job interview recently. I've been trying to decide how to post about it. It was a company that screams all over social media, website, etc., that it is GREEN. Very, very green. A friend told me me about the posting and I decided to interview, just for the practice. Had a phone screen with HR and then a video interview with hiring manager. Here's the thing that just struck me. They apparently pride themselves on being green, yet they don't allow remote or hybrid work. You would think that would be a definite thing they would allow. Nope. I asked about it, as it seemed to me to be an obvious thing an environmentally friendly company would offer. Absolutely not. The interview was ended very quickly.
iris lilies
7-31-25, 6:17pm
I bought a pair of pants at Goodwill that were a little unusual and cute. Brought them home, tried them on, fit fine. I washed them, tried them on again.
oops! They were not hemmed. Someone had cut off the hem and they had a raw edge. If I hemmed them they would be too short.
Bummer. $5 down the drain.
Could you make the cute pants Capri length?
iris lilies
8-1-25, 11:11am
Could you make the cute pants Capri length?
No capri! My fashion advisors say this is dooom for seniors.
Because I am so fashionable doncha know.:). But the thing is, I am trying.
No capri! My fashion advisors say this is dooom for seniors.
Agreed.. I don't wear capris either.
This will sound snarky - because it is! I think capris are perfect if you want to look shorter and heavier. That being said, they may be more flattering than shorts, which look good on hardly anyone.
Of course I am not exactly the ultimate fashionista in my vast collection of Vista Camp Pants, lol.
While I definitely don't wear them often at all (only have two pair), I like capris for those occasions when shorts are too informal, but long pants are too hot/uncomfortable. (I will add a side note that I do NOT wear dresses/sundresses/etc.) LOL.
I pretty much only wear capris in the summer because shorts are too short at my age and they are cool and comfortable. I figure they look better and feel better than the other two lengths.
early morning
8-2-25, 10:42am
I wear capris (a term which I often forget and call them clam diggers and/or pedal pushers - proving my ever advancing age, lol) all summer. I am short and fat, and no doubt look shorter and fatter in them. And I don't care. Because, HOT. I won't wear shorts in public, because they don't protect my legs from whatever I sit on. AND they look worse than capris. If I could find some inexpensive thin, cool, knit or woven cotton or linen pants with an elastic waist and pockets, I might stick with long pants, but until then - capris it is! I won't wear skirts or dresses on general principal. So I say be comfy and looks be damned! :devil:
I wear capris (a term which I often forget and call them clam diggers and/or pedal pushers - proving my ever advancing age, lol) all summer. I am short and fat, and no doubt look shorter and fatter in them. And I don't care. Because, HOT. I won't wear shorts in public, because they don't protect my legs from whatever I sit on. AND they look worse than capris. If I could find some inexpensive thin, cool, knit or woven cotton or linen pants with an elastic waist and pockets, I might stick with long pants, but until then - capris it is! I won't wear shirts or dresses on general principal. So I say be comfy and looks be damned! :devil:
Me too, and I can always wade in them, too!
I am short and plus sizes. Pants from Talbots plus petite are always the right length. But be had some luck with Jockey leggings from Amazon being the correct length. Otherwise, cropped/ankle pants are often longer on me, but hit the sweet spot. I’ve got theee pairs of loose cropped pants that end up being just a bit above my ankles that are great for the summer.
I pretty much only wear capris in the summer because shorts are too short at my age and they are cool and comfortable. I figure they look better and feel better than the other two lengths.
I agree. I have very long legs and wear capris that just cover my knees. They look much better than shorts. I agree that very few look good in shorts. Those that do wear shorts must not look in the mirror?
I don't wear shorts, but I as I've said before, I do wear skorts which are the perfect compromise for me. I wear them every day in the summer. I wish I liked wearing sundresses, but they're just not me. I love them on other people, however.
I agree. I have very long legs and wear capris that just cover my knees. They look much better than shorts. I agree that very few look good in shorts. Those that do wear shorts must not look in the mirror?
Nope, rarely look in a mirror. LOL. I dress for my own comfort, not to look "good" to other people.
I have long legs as well but will only wear shorts that go to the knee; either jean cutoffs that I can roll up to make a cuff or some knee-length lightweight hiking shorts from Columbia. I have come to find out when I take the rare occasion to looking backward at myself in the full-length mirror that I have pretty bad cellulite on the back of my thighs. However, when we go to the gym and go swimming I just have to not worry about what the back of my thighs look like, as life is too short to get hung up on what we can't change easily.
It is a little sad - I was a figure skater as a youngster and even skated well into my thirties. I've always had awesome, muscular legs. I never thought that I would end up with such bad cellulite.
Oh, and I will wear capris. They look fine on me (I thimk, at any rate).
iris lilies
8-3-25, 11:53am
I have long legs as well but will only wear shorts that go to the knee; either jean cutoffs that I can roll up to make a cuff or some knee-length lightweight hiking shorts from Columbia. I have come to find out when I take the rare occasion to looking backward at myself in the full-length mirror that I have pretty bad cellulite on the back of my thighs. However, when we go to the gym and go swimming I just have to not worry about what the back of my thighs look like, as life is too short to get hung up on what we can't change easily.
It is a little sad - I was a figure skater as a youngster and even skated well into my thirties. I've always had awesome, muscular legs. I never thought that I would end up with such bad cellulite.
Oh, and I will wear capris. They look fine on me (I thimk, at any rate).
if you are tall and have long legs, capris will look nice on you. I always think the ones that have small slits at the end are sporty looking and cute.
looking backward at myself in the full-length mirror
Leggings of various lengths remain very popular but some women might want to at least cover their tush with a long shirt.
Leggings of various lengths remain very popular but some women might want to at least cover their tush with a long shirt.
I live in leggings. And will only wear them out with long tops that cover my butt.
Nope, rarely look in a mirror. LOL. I dress for my own comfort, not to look "good" to other people.
I want to look good for myself and not gross others out… ha!
I want to look good for myself and not gross others out… ha!
I think that's a good philosophy on personal appearance!
I am trying to lessen social media use. I don’t have FB or Messenger on my phone. On iPad at home. Anyway, I’ve asked multiple friends to please text me instead of Messenger. I explained why. Urgent stuff and they can’t text. Annoying as heck.
I’ve kept Reddit on my phone as there is a customs broker group that is very helpful, especially with the tariff whiplash.
I want to look good for myself and not gross others out… ha!
LOL. I get it. Everyone has their own standards. For example, I do NOT go out in my PJs, even though that now seems to be acceptable fashion in stores, etc. LOL
iris lilies
8-4-25, 9:49am
LOL. I get it. Everyone has their own standards. For example, I do NOT go out in my PJs, even though that now seems to be acceptable fashion in stores, etc. LOL
This discussion reminds me of Melanie’s “We do not care” club for premenopausal, menopausal, and post menopausal women.
She is a Facebook phenomena with her daily lists of things we simply do not care about. Examples:
*We do not care what the back of our hair looks like because we don’t see it
*We do not care if you see us picking at our chin hairs in our car. Look, the light is best there. If you don’t like it, don’t watch
and etc. Hilarious!
iris lilies
8-4-25, 9:54am
And then i’m reminded of one of my favorite Instagram clips, a comparison of dogs and cats.
Dogs: they can learn up to 100 words, count up to five, understand compound sentences. Approximate human age: 2 years old
Cats: don’t give a f*ck and they are tired of your shit. Approximate human age: 42
OMG this makes me belly laugh every time I see it.
thanks for the giggles....
LOL. I get it. Everyone has their own standards. For example, I do NOT go out in my PJs, even though that now seems to be acceptable fashion in stores, etc. LOL
Saw a few people in PJ’s come down for breakfast at a hotel. I did keep my mouth shut but one woman was indecent. She did’t have the body to pull it off…. kinda gross (literally and figuratively).
Saw a few people in PJ’s come down for breakfast at a hotel. I did keep my mouth shut but one woman was indecent. She did’t have the body to pull it off…. kinda gross (literally and figuratively).
Dang--what a show-off
Work has been so freaking stressful. My don't give a f*ck is in full operation. I get my work done, but I'm just meh. Office manager told me yesterday she had commented to her husband over the weekend that she'll be surprised if I don't have a breakdown over the tariff stuff.
Work has been so freaking stressful. My don't give a f*ck is in full operation. I get my work done, but I'm just meh. Office manager told me yesterday she had commented to her husband over the weekend that she'll be surprised if I don't have a breakdown over the tariff stuff.
Can you turn it off/leave it at work when you go home? Please take care...I wish you could take some time off or cut back. Would hate for your manager's premonition to come true.
Can you turn it off/leave it at work when you go home? Please take care...I wish you could take some time off or cut back. Would hate for your manager's premonition to come true.
She’s the office manage, not my immediate boss, but I hardly work during the week and I only bring work home on the weekend for urgent air freight clearances or to get a head start on Monday. No work phone so I’m not dealing with calls outside of work hours so that does help.
I’ve not felt like diving as it’s too much work right now. I just veg at home on weekends aside from church.
I should be thankful that my husband wants to help with the remodel. But he is not careful or knowledgeable about plumbing/electrical. The electrician just finished and had to completely redo the work my husband did on the one kitchen light he tried to replace.
Previously he had tried plumbing and it always! leaked.
I am going to restrict him to demolition which he and his friends do really well. He volunteers with Habitat but they hire professionals for plumbing and electrical work.
I should be thankful that my husband wants to help with the remodel. But he is not careful or knowledgeable about plumbing/electrical. The electrician just finished and had to completely redo the work my husband did on the one kitchen light he tried to replace.
Previously he had tried plumbing and it always! leaked.
I am going to restrict him to demolition which he and his friends do really well. He volunteers with Habitat but they hire professionals for plumbing and electrical work.
DH is happy to stay away from electrical issues, thank God, but we still have the plumbing issues, where a small leak makes the project "good enough"--the pipes and PVC look like a rat's maze, and the sink spritzer never gets fixed because he has to watch another YouTube video on how to do it.
I should be thankful that my husband wants to help with the remodel. But he is not careful or knowledgeable about plumbing/electrical. The electrician just finished and had to completely redo the work my husband did on the one kitchen light he tried to replace.
Previously he had tried plumbing and it always! leaked.
I am going to restrict him to demolition which he and his friends do really well. He volunteers with Habitat but they hire professionals for plumbing and electrical work.
Does your city have to inspect the remodel? Your husband’s crappy work could well prevent it passing inspection upon completion. I just heard a similiar story from a friend. Their remodel with her husband’s badly done electrical work didn’t pass inspection and they had to get a licensed electrician in to redo it.
iris lilies
8-13-25, 7:39am
I live with Mr. Fix It who is brilliant at most everything. He had to redo some of the electric work our contractor’s guys screwed up, for instance. DH was so pleased to tell me our contractor was willing to hire him on his crew for ALL of his skills.
But even then there have been a couple things over the years he couldn’t address. Mainly our long-standing roof leak of decades, finally fixed when we hired a professional roofing crew and those people fixed that problem right up. It makes me so mad looking back that I lived with that depressing leak for so long. It literally rained on my head when I slept at times.
happystuff
8-13-25, 7:51am
I tend to be the handier of the two in this house, so that will tell you immediately that we hire out for most of the fix-it work that needs to be done. Sigh...
But even then there have been a couple things over the years he couldn’t address. Mainly our long-standing roof leak of decades, finally fixed when we hired a professional roofing crew and those people fixed that problem right up. It makes me so mad looking back that I lived with that depressing leak for so long. It literally rained on my head when I slept at times.
Thank you for relieving me of my shame over willful neglect--we have had a roof leak since we moved in. Every annual budget says "Fix roof" and it gets carried over year after year. And yes, the leak is right above the bed... on MY side.
frugal-one
8-13-25, 11:18am
Thankfully, DH is Mr. Fix It too! How he does it, surprises me all the time. We each have different skill sets so rarely do we need to rely on outside help.
iris lilies
8-13-25, 3:30pm
Thank you for relieving me of my shame over willful neglect--we have had a roof leak since we moved in. Every annual budget says "Fix roof" and it gets carried over year after year. And yes, the leak is right above the bed... on MY side.
I was beginning to think the only way we would get past the roof problem was to go to marriage counseling because DH would NOT hire someone to fix it, he would just climb up and put in another layer of …whatever. Tar or whatever. Ugh.
when it looked like we were going to sell, .i reminded him we had a house that we couldn’t sell.because of this roof leak. Oh! All of a Sudden it seems, it is time for a new roof! (Hmmmm, ya think?)
The roofing guys, a local and good company, pointed out the leak was coming from the skylight even though DH had already replaced it and caulked a zillion times and etc etc. They were right, they fixed it. Praise the Lord.
Why did I go to Michigan in August? Literally dripping in sweat and cannot cool off. 88 degrees and 60% humidity whereas I am used to 95 degrees with 15% humidity.
It is great to see my 93 year old Mom and my brother who came in from Charlotte. We've turned this weekend into a mini family reunion. I am so glad I am able to do this somewhat impromptu trip back "home." My Mom is really starting to fade; her short-term memory has gotten much worse since I was there last October and I think we are starting to see an alarming decline. It is about time for another family conference. She has her own apartment in a senior residence that serves dinner each night and she seems to be able to manage somewhat on her own within the building but I think things are going downhill faster now. Long ago she made sure she got everything set up for herself for the "next step" into needing full-time nursing home care - we are so grateful that she was that proactive 15 years ago.
But it is still sad to see her struggle with trying to remember what we've told her three minutes before. She still knows all of our names at least. It's actually not Alzheimers or dementia but simple age-related memory loss.
I was out and about late yesterday afternoon when a severe t'storm warning was issued. Heavy rain, but could still easily see the road, and some hail, but small and for maybe a minute. Two lane road with a lot of cars pulled off to the side. But there was this dumb cluck in a red Ford Focus hatchback in front of me who would go about 10 mph (in a 55), then stop for a couple minutes, then start creeping forward again. Did this 3-4 times. I couldn't tell WTF their problem was. The road was not flooding. It was just a t'storm with a bit of hail and some spectacular lightning. I just laid on the horn enough to get their ass moving. My Crosstrek had no issues with the weather.
I was out and about late yesterday afternoon when a severe t'storm warning was issued. Heavy rain, but could still easily see the road, and some hail, but small and for maybe a minute. Two lane road with a lot of cars pulled off to the side. But there was this dumb cluck in a red Ford Focus hatchback in front of me who would go about 10 mph (in a 55), then stop for a couple minutes, then start creeping forward again. Did this 3-4 times. I couldn't tell WTF their problem was. The road was not flooding. It was just a t'storm with a bit of hail and some spectacular lightning. I just laid on the horn enough to get their ass moving. My Crosstrek had no issues with the weather.
Maybe they had bad wipers and couldn't see?
Maybe they had bad wipers and couldn't see?
Then why not pull over?
Attended a wedding today at another Orthodox parish in the area. I was shocked by other guests bad mouthing the couple for having a church wedding, nasty comments about religion as a whole, etc. The comments were loud and started before the ceremony and kept going on during it. I'm sure the couple heard, they were so loud. The priest definitely heard. He stopped the ceremony and told people to hold their comments until after the ceremony. If they couldn't, please leave. Some left.
Simple manners and respect have gone the way of the dodo. If people have issues with religion, etc., don't go to the ceremony. Skip it and go to the reception. I don't think anyone will care. I grew up in the Midwest in the 70s and 80s and people were skipping the ceremony even back then.
happystuff
8-31-25, 8:00pm
Attended a wedding today at another Orthodox parish in the area. I was shocked by other guests bad mouthing the couple for having a church wedding, nasty comments about religion as a whole, etc. The comments were loud and started before the ceremony and kept going on during it. I'm sure the couple heard, they were so loud. The priest definitely heard. He stopped the ceremony and told people to hold their comments until after the ceremony. If they couldn't, please leave. Some left.
Simple manners and respect have gone the way of the dodo. If people have issues with religion, etc., don't go to the ceremony. Skip it and go to the reception. I don't think anyone will care. I grew up in the Midwest in the 70s and 80s and people were skipping the ceremony even back then.
My assumption would be that they were invited because they are friends and/or family of the bride or groom, so why show up to potentially ruin ANY part of the couple's wedding? That's just crass.
That's so disrepectful to the couple and to the congregation. As you said, they knew they were going into a church--if I had insisted on getting married in the Catholic church I had grown up iny "Orange" Scottish in-law relatives would not have entered. But at least they wouldn't have been inside making rude comments.
As you know I'm writing a chapter on spirituality for my book, and it has been immensely challenging because it will be in the middle of the book and I don't want to turn people who have negative feelings about religion off... I vascillate in the balance between spirituality in general, i.e. a pantheistic approach, vs a "religious" approach. I might provide a skip pattern--"If you hate religion, skip to page XXX." (I'm half-joking).
In any case, I'm glad the priest said something, and I hope he embarrassed them.
My assumption would be that they were invited because they are friends and/or family of the bride or groom, so why show up to potentially ruin ANY part of the couple's wedding? That's just crass.
Yes, they were invited guests. Not someone who showed up off the street.
iris lilies
8-31-25, 8:14pm
That is absolutely amazing that people can’t sit in a church and keep their mouth shut even if they don’t embrace what’s going on inside the church. it’s just not that hard to be polite.
That is absolutely amazing that people can’t sit in a church and keep their mouth shut even if they don’t embrace what’s going on inside the church. it’s just not that hard to be polite.
Something similar happened at another church wedding in a different parish before the pandemic. People just can’t be respectful.
iris lilies
8-31-25, 9:20pm
Something similar happened at another church wedding in a different parish before the pandemic. People just can’t be respectful.
And they can’t apparently exercise their curiosity. Visiting other churches is like a little tour in cultural diversity.
And they can’t apparently exercise their curiosity. Visiting other churches is like a little tour in cultural diversity.
Well, these comments I heard were all VERY anti-religion. If they were that against religion, don't go to the ceremony.
Well you all know that I am very anti-religion, but I agree, this was very rude and inappropriate behavior.
My rant for the day is over the fact that no two objects on the planet take the same version of button battery.
My rant for the day is over the fact that no two objects on the planet take the same version of button battery.
LOL. I totally get it and thanks for the chuckle.
Reminded me of this thread:
6493
iris lilies
9-10-25, 7:01pm
Charlie Kirk 1993-2025
(tel:1993-3025)
it sucks
The far edges of both sides need to shut the f up.
The far edges of both sides need to shut the f up.
It looks like someone else who's not a fan of logic, rationality and history shut him the f up for good. I guess he had it coming, didn't he?
Hotel prices have gotten insane. Wanted to do one night at the Von Trapp Family lodge because wanted to show the grandchildren where the Von Trapp family ended up after they fled Austria, and one night would be $810 with taxes and fees.
Maybe we'll go another time and just visit the lodge and go to the pastry shop and tour it and not stay there.
iris lilies
9-11-25, 1:31pm
The far edges of both sides need to shut the f up.
“When we stop talking, that’s when violence happens.”
—Charlie Kirk
Never stop talking.
littlebittybobby
9-11-25, 1:58pm
Ban Guns in the hands of Demmmacratz NOW. Yup.
littlebittybobby
9-11-25, 7:37pm
The far edges of both sides need to shut the f up. okay----i can certainly relate to that---but yeah----i consider the radical element of the far, far Right to be those danged "Conspiracy Buffs". Every catastrophic event always has a hidden cause, enabled by a network of like-minded crackpots. Yup. They all need to take their prescribed dose of lithium or whatever, to reduce their paranoid delusions. <<okay; i'm not a mental-health professional. But if i were one, that is what i would recommend. Hope that helps you some. Thankk mee.
I follow a handful of legacy mainstream news sources fairly closely which some would say are liberal. I'd never heard of the guy. That might say something about how social media, which I don't use, is shaping political opinions in a major way.
I see DJT has assumed it was someone from the radical left, and in a position of leadership and in an effort to quell the divisions has said, "...and we just have to beat the hell out of them."
iris lilies
9-12-25, 9:07am
I follow a handful of legacy mainstream news sources fairly closely which some would say are liberal. I'd never heard of the guy. That might say something about how social media, which I don't use, is shaping political opinions in a major way.
I see DJT has assumed it was someone from the radical left, and in a position of leadership and in an effort to quell the divisions has said, "...and we just have to beat the hell out of them."
I can see how you’ve never heard of Charlie Kirk. He wasnt high on my radar, that’s for sure, but I did know of him as the “ Change my Mind” guy on college campuses. He was important to people a lot younger than us, so the age factor has something to do with his noteriety.
littlebittybobby
9-12-25, 11:59am
okay----they've caught the shooter. Dad's a cop, and turned him in; a logical, rational decision on his part. News media said Kirk was struck by one round of 30.06. The same ammo that killed MLK in '68. News media reported the rifle recovered from the grassy knoll--er, wooded area is a vintage bolt-action Mauser. Yes, Mausers can be converted to 30.06 by a gunsmith, but we will see. Doncha remember how the Dallas police spokesman misidentified Oswalds' rifle as a Mauser, when it was in fact a Carcano? I see a connection, there. Maybe the alleged shooter is just a patsy. Yup. Anyway, I can just hear the crackpot conspiracy buffs spinning all kinds of yarns....
iris lilies
9-12-25, 1:13pm
Tradd, you got a problem here sis? This affecting you?
6505
littlebittybobby
9-12-25, 1:40pm
Tradd, you got a problem here sis? This affecting you?
6505okay---i sure hope them containers didn't have no car parts for old chevies! But yeah---even if they did, hopefully they can be sold as marked-down, damaged salvaged sunken ship freight-recovery, at deep discounts. Yup.
littlebittybobby
9-12-25, 2:05pm
okay---here's the home where the alleged assassin of Kirk allegedly lived. Looka the Dodge Challenger in the driveway, which is a red flag. So anyway---what architectural style is the home, anyhow? Faux, what is your opinion? (see photo)What could be done to enhance curb appeal?6507
iris lilies
9-12-25, 2:36pm
okay---here's the home where the alleged assassin of Kirk allegedly lived. Looka the Dodge Challenger in the driveway, which is a red flag. So anyway---what architectural style is the home, anyhow? Faux, what is your opinion? (see photo)What could be done to enhance curb appeal?6507
The architectural style is Depressing Box with cheap windows and there is no enhancing it, sorry.
I was really impressed with Gov. Spencer Cox's plea this morning. So refreshing for a politician these days to play the role of peacemaker rather than provocateur.
iris lilies
9-12-25, 10:02pm
I was really impressed with Gov. Spencer Cox's plea this morning. So refreshing for a politician these days to play the role of peacemaker rather than provocateur.
I’ve been happy with many reactions on the “other “political side and I’m not going to be seeking out those that would make me unhappy. ��. Most reasonable people are horrified and/or saddened by this assassination and there’s no point in analyzing it beyond that.
Tradd, you got a problem here sis? This affecting you?
6505
Not affecting me. I saw it on the What's Up with Shipping YT channel. Seems it was maybe loaded too high,
rosarugosa
9-13-25, 6:05am
IL: Please clarify your comment by defining "reasonable poop people." I like to think I am reasonable, but I personally have never identified as a poop person.
I was really impressed with Gov. Spencer Cox's plea this morning. So refreshing for a politician these days to play the role of peacemaker rather than provocateur.
I almost got the feeling he was speaking to Trump, although I'm not optimistic that it will do any good in that respect.
iris lilies
9-14-25, 10:28am
IL: Please clarify your comment by defining "reasonable poop people." I like to think I am reasonable, but I personally have never identified as a poop person.
You won’t believe this, but it was another error of my text editor. Honest to God I need to slow down and read the thing before it posts. But I swear to you, I will put in a word and it’s correct and then I hit send, and somewhere in that interim the text editor changes it.
apologies for “ poop people” the word Poop snuck in there. Sorry!!! And I definitely do not
want “poop people “anywhere near a thread about Charlie Kirk, it is not a way to honor him. He did not insult people in his discussions with them.
My rant du jour is about AI and how it has affected simple searches. It seems to be adding a layer between me and the information I am seeking. I was doing a genealogical search for a historical property we are touring next week and put in some related names, and instead of giving me some hits the way it used to, it gave me a whole spiel about how to do genealogical research. I went back on Ancestry and found more information, but it used to be I could pull up interesting non-Ancestry sources really quickly and now it gives me AI garbage.
iris lilies
9-14-25, 1:14pm
My rant du jour is about AI and how it has affected simple searches. It seems to be adding a layer between me and the information I am seeking. I was doing a genealogical search for a historical property we are touring next week and put in some related names, and instead of giving me some hits the way it used to, it gave me a whole spiel about how to do genealogical research. I went back on Ancestry and found more information, but it used to be I could pull up interesting non-Ancestry sources really quickly and now it gives me AI garbage.
That is annoying!
I use ChatGPT and sometimes I am amazed at how brilliant it is and I’m equally amazed at how stupid it can be.
That is annoying!
I use ChatGPT and sometimes I am amazed at how brilliant it is and I’m equally amazed at how stupid it can be.
I know, right?
My rant du jour is about AI and how it has affected simple searches. It seems to be adding a layer between me and the information I am seeking. I was doing a genealogical search for a historical property we are touring next week and put in some related names, and instead of giving me some hits the way it used to, it gave me a whole spiel about how to do genealogical research. I went back on Ancestry and found more information, but it used to be I could pull up interesting non-Ancestry sources really quickly and now it gives me AI garbage.
Here’s how to remove AI from Google searches. I definitely know what you mean. I hate it.
https://www.pcmag.com/how-to/how-to-remove-ai-from-your-google-search-results
Here’s how to remove AI from Google searches. I definitely know what you mean. I hate it.
https://www.pcmag.com/how-to/how-to-remove-ai-from-your-google-search-results
Thank you, will try this!
rosarugosa
9-15-25, 6:31am
I have removed AI from my search results, and I found it well worth the effort.
I also have added the Fluffbuster extension on FB, and it is amazingly effective at filtering out the crap of ads, suggested posts, etc. but it only works for laptops or desktops, and I know that most people view FB on their phones. On the rare occasion that I view FB on my phone, I am amazed at how much more obnoxious the experience is. It's like night and day.
rosarugosa
9-15-25, 6:33am
You won’t believe this, but it was another error of my text editor. Honest to God I need to slow down and read the thing before it posts. But I swear to you, I will put in a word and it’s correct and then I hit send, and somewhere in that interim the text editor changes it.
apologies for “ poop people” the word Poop snuck in there. Sorry!!! And I definitely do not
want “poop people “anywhere near a thread about Charlie Kirk, it is not a way to honor him. He did not insult people in his discussions with them.
I totally believe it; I was really just poking fun because it was such an amusing autocorrect error that I could not let it pass unremarked!
iris lilies
9-15-25, 4:53pm
Insideous Chinese marketers!
I pay more attention to clothes these days so I click on clothing sites. There are way too many Chinese fashion sites that display images of clothing I would like to buy, but they are have universally VERY poor customer service, shipments take forever to get here, return policy is practically nonexistent or else you have to pay to ship it back to China. And customer services never answers complaints.
So I am on the alert anymore, but this website is so slick at mimicking the kind of clothing I would buy, I had to look twice. It is called “Sarah & Kate Charleston” . The hints that caused me to check out reviews on Reddit were clothes did not give fabric content. That was the big tip off, but then everything seemed to cost $49. That is a red flag because the Chinese companies I see price their stuff at $39. I suppose this $10 increase covers tariffs?
anyway, the Chinamen are getting more clever at marketing. The ladies pictured as Sarah and Kate are fake, fake fake.
6511
6512
You might want to try Vermont Country Store; I think their clothes are made in the USA.
happystuff
9-15-25, 8:11pm
Here’s how to remove AI from Google searches. I definitely know what you mean. I hate it.
https://www.pcmag.com/how-to/how-to-remove-ai-from-your-google-search-results
Thanks. I tried this and I like it! LOL.
Thanks. I tried this and I like it! LOL.
Glad it worked! I just found it by Googling as I had seen it mentioned elsewhere.
iris lilies
9-20-25, 1:01pm
You might want to try Vermont Country Store; I think their clothes are made in the USA.
I did look at that site, but the fashions are a little too countrified for me. I thought the Vermont country store might be along the lines of L.L. Bean, but they seem more informal.
rosarugosa
9-21-25, 7:19am
I think some of the women's clothing in VT Country Store has a real "Little House on the Prairie" vibe, too many ruffles for my taste. However, they do seem to carry decent quality stuff, and I've bought flannel PJs for Mom, and recently a t-shirt and bathrobe for DH from them.
I'm a tough fit, and I only order clothes online if I'm really confident that I know how the brand fits me, because the odds are not in my favor. I'll take a chance with LL Bean sometimes, because I get free shipping and free return shipping with my LLB credit card. I've had some really good luck buying specific clothing items on eBay, either getting certain items/brands at a discount (e.g. Jess & Jane tops), or replacing very specific items that I can no longer buy regular retail (e.g. Soft Surrounding bathrobes that have been discontinued). I can set up searches and get e-mail alerts when something I'm seeking appears for sale (e.g. LLB Petite XS quilted sweatshirts).
happystuff
9-21-25, 8:51am
I used to get their mail order catalogue and would order thimbles for my collection through them. It was great fun.
catherine
9-21-25, 10:16am
Vermont Country Store is a great place to visit if you're ever up this way! The Weston one was a regular annual stop on our Vermont vacations.
Vermont Country Store is a great place to visit if you're ever up this way! The Weston one was a regular annual stop on our Vermont vacations.
It's a fun browse through their website at the holidays as so much reminds me of the decorations I grew up with in the 70s, that were from the 60s.
rosarugosa
9-28-25, 7:47am
Continuing on with my somewhat dissatisfied mode: After the not so great play, we went out for a mediocre meal at a nearby tavern, and we paid a price that was equivalent to about a week's worth of groceries. That is not too unusual these days though, and it's not the reason for my rant. Rather, I am ranting about the family in the next booth with their overexuberant, ill-behaved little monsters. I'm not terribly fond of small kids, but I feel like I've mellowed as I've gotten older, and although they were making a lot of noise and there was even a baby crying at one point, I was pretty chill about it. However, towards the end of out meal, there were two young ones standing and jumping up and down on the booth bench and looking over at us. As we were leaving, an adult male in the booth said "sorry." My too-nice sister said "that's OK," but I gave him my best dirty look, because seriously, if your kids can't behave any better than that, they don't belong in a restaurant. I understand that kids sometimes act up, but if you can't control their behavior in public, you should take them to Chucky's Cheese's or McDonald's.
Exits grouch old lady mode. End of rant.
iris lilies
10-11-25, 4:03pm
here’s another one that could be a rant or a rave, but because it pissed me off I’m gonna put it in the rant thread.
how many technical problems are gonna land in my lap on a daily basis? I hate my phone and today I solved one of the things I hate about it.
when someone makes a phone call to me the ring only last for two rings. I guess that’s about 10 seconds. I can never get my phone unlocked in time to talk to the person. Fortunately, much of the time I’m using an iPad and those calls also display on my iPad and I can answer them fairly quickly..
anyway, today, I decided I would learn how to extend the time the phone rings before it goes to voicemail.
I was successful in the end (rave) but my God it is so complicated. ( rant.) I had to talk to ChatGPT in multiple conversations. Chat told me to do one thing. That didn’t work. Chat then said well then try this method. That method required that I learn how to do something on the keypad. Finally, it did work.
So now my rings last 30 seconds before it goes to voicemail…end rave/ rant.
iris lilies
10-11-25, 4:12pm
Continuing on with my somewhat dissatisfied mode: After the not so great play, we went out for a mediocre meal at a nearby tavern, and we paid a price that was equivalent to about a week's worth of groceries. That is not too unusual these days though, and it's not the reason for my rant. Rather, I am ranting about the family in the next booth with their overexuberant, ill-behaved little monsters. I'm not terribly fond of small kids, but I feel like I've mellowed as I've gotten older, and although they were making a lot of noise and there was even a baby crying at one point, I was pretty chill about it. However, towards the end of out meal, there were two young ones standing and jumping up and down on the booth bench and looking over at us. As we were leaving, an adult male in the booth said "sorry." My too-nice sister said "that's OK," but I gave him my best dirty look, because seriously, if your kids can't behave any better than that, they don't belong in a restaurant. I understand that kids sometimes act up, but if you can't control their behavior in public, you should take them to Chucky's Cheese's or McDonald's.
Exits grouch old lady mode. End of rant.
I honestly cannot think of a time in recent decades where we were bothered by children, at nice restaurants anyway. People just did not bring their kids to city restaurants we frequented. I like it that way.
there are a couple of cool restaurants I can think of in the city of St. Louis that would be “family friendly “and I would not be at all surprised to see children, but we just never get around to going there.
rosarugosa
10-12-25, 7:06am
IL: This was not particularly fine dining, but it was the Hale Street Tavern, so the name sort of implies that it's not a Chucky Cheese kind of place.
The "kids-in-restaurants rant reminded me of something that happened a few years ago when we were down in Truth or Consequences at out favorite higher-end steakhouse (not that there are very many places to dine there).
We were eating our salads when a large family (four children ages toddler to maybe 12 plus both parents) was seated at an extended table right next to us. I automatically got a defensive, irritated feeling, assuming that they were going to be disruptive. To my utter surprise and delight, those children were the most well-behaved kids I had seen in a long, long time. The parents spoke calmly to them, asking what they would like to order and gently offering their advice. They waited patiently for the server and talked amongst themselves in indoor tones. No one spoke out of turn or too loudly. It was clear the parents had set their expectations and that maybe they had practiced playing restaurant at home.
Needless to say, I was very impressed!
catherine
10-13-25, 5:38am
Yes, rosa and SiouzQ, it's all in the training. I'm going to brag about my own kids... when they were 3 and 5 we were driving around after church hungry, and we came across what looked like a family-friendly place to get a bite for breakfast. Well, when we got inside it was a very quiet, white-tablecloth/white gloved server type of place. But we were too hungry to back out.
We had a very nice breakfast. When we got up to leave, the maitre d stopped us on the way out and said to DH, "Sir, I must commend you on the behavior of your children. Normally we have to batten down the hatches when we see children come in here."
The maitre d didn't know that we had intentionally sat one boy on each side of DH, so that the minute they started acting up, DH would give them a "reminder" pinch on the underside of their thighs and that was enough to stop them, without having to verbally check them.
iris lilies
10-13-25, 11:56am
Yes, rosa and SiouzQ, it's all in the training. I'm going to brag about my own kids... when they were 3 and 5 we were driving around after church hungry, and we came across what looked like a family-friendly place to get a bite for breakfast. Well, when we got inside it was a very quiet, white-tablecloth/white gloved server type of place. But we were too hungry to back out.
We had a very nice breakfast. When we got up to leave, the maitre d stopped us on the way out and said to DH, "Sir, I must commend you on the behavior of your children. Normally we have to batten down the hatches when we see children come in here."
The maitre d didn't know that we had intentionally sat one boy on each side of DH, so that the minute they started acting up, DH would give them a "reminder" pinch on the underside of their thighs and that was enough to stop them, without having to verbally check them.
That’s a nice story Catherine but I don’t expect little boys that age to sit still and be “good” so bless them for doing that.
There used to be a woman on this forum who had two boys, and she ran them like dogs. This woman wanted to start a healthy candy shop. does anyone remember her? Anyway, the lesson about kids I learned from her is that she dedicated her daily life to getting her boys exercised.
I remember she talked about most days planning a morning physical activity and an afternoon physical activity. She recognized the reality of her children being children and needing to use their bodies to develop their minds.
By “ running like dogs” I mean that in a practical way not prejoritively. You exercise your dogs for their own good. You exercise your children for their own good.
That’s a nice story Catherine but I don’t expect little boys that age to sit still and be “good” so bless them for doing that.
there used to be a woman on this forum who had two boys, and she ran them like dogs. this woman wanted to start a healthy candy shop. does anyone remember her? Anyway, the lesson about kids I learned from her is that she dedicated her daily life to getting her boys exercised.
I remember she talked about most days planning a morning physical activity and an afternoon physical activity. She recognized the reality of her children being children and needing to use their bodies to develop their minds.
By “ running like dogs” I mean that in a practical way. You exercise your dogs for the room good. You exercise your children for their own good.
I totally don't remember that. A healthy candy shop? When was this?
iris lilies
10-13-25, 12:24pm
I totally don't remember that. A healthy candy shop? When was this?
Oh man, decades ago. She stuck in my mind because she seems so clear headed about her single parent status. She had married a man who swore up and down he wanted children and then when they had two small children, he cheated on her and left her.
she was a stay at home mom so her ex-husband was paying enough in child support to fund that.
I remember she had us all brainstorm about names for the candy shop and the name “Indie Candy” sticks in my mind. She lives somewhere in the South.
iris lilies
10-13-25, 12:43pm
This is the Indie Candy lady (summary by AI) She is still plugging along at this business:
Indie Candy was started in late October 2009 by Hanson Watkins. She opened the gourmet candy shop in Mountain Brook, Alabama, initially to provide her son and other children with food allergies with safe, naturally allergen-free treats.
Founder: Hanson Watkins
Start Date: Late October 2009
Location: Mountain Brook, Alabama
Purpose: To create and sell gourmet candies that are naturally free of common allergens like gluten, dyes, and other additives.
Origin: The business began as a way for the single mother to create safe treats for her son, who has multiple food intolerances.
Wow, this is not ringing any bells, and I was present in those years. Good for her!
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