Misconception: Minimalists don't care about people.

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Originally Posted by JaneV2.0

In theory, I might date someone without a car since I have one. Or if I lived somewhere like New York where one was more trouble than they were worth and a person could rent if necessary. But since I'm not particularly interested in discussing the evils of technology with a latter-day Ted Kaczynski ad nauseum, I would first want to reassure myself that his carlessness was not ideological (or a result of DUIs or something), but strictly a practical matter. That's just me. YMMV.

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Come on now! Comparing a car-free, joyful Luddite-by-choice to a Teddy K. is way off base! haha

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Originally Posted by kib

This.

I think the reason so many of us suffer over Stuff is that we're on the fence. We don't really want these things, but we feel a personal connection between the things and the people they belonged to, or in the case of the living, the people who gave them to us. The things represent the people and they're physical proof that we loved someone, we had life with someone, and they loved us back. Frankly, bless the fire that allows us to let go of the stuff without having to deal with the sense that we're cutting people out of our hearts.

Feeling that way about inanimate objects when you want to be streamlined and unburdened is ... a pain in the neck. I envy the minimalists who have avoided this (probably learned) attitude, or whose intellectual clarity about unnecessary junk clearly over-rides any emotional clamor.

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Articulate and eloquent thoughts there.

I'd hope that after I go to heaven that some underprivileged kid gets my fishing gear and takes to it well.

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Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler

When I imagine my car-free life (some day!) I imagine having a Car2Go membership that I rarely use and rarely accepting rides from people.

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Burlington (wink-wink) has a lot of Zip cars (I mentioned my kids don't have cars--this is one of the reasons they don't sweat it. They pick up a car on the street when they need it.)

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Originally Posted by catherine

Burlington (wink-wink) has a lot of Zip cars (I mentioned my kids don't have cars--this is one of the reasons they don't sweat it. They pick up a car on the street when they need it.)

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This kind of thing helps a lot. I'm a member of a car-share co-op so I can easily get a car when I need one. And the last time I rented for a full day it only cost $27 including gas, and I drove quite a few kilometers. I could rent a lot of car time before I'd get to the price of owning one. Eventually I'll probably need a car (or RV van ideally) for my business or mobility if I'm living more rurally. But the longer I can go without the better. I would always take the person's location into account on whether a car was actually required.

When someone I love dies I keep a few things to remember them by & that's it. My hubby however keeps a ton of things that just end up in the shed or garage or his office because I am not living in a cluttered house. So now 7 years after his Mom died the stuff is hidden away but he won't get rid of it. This makes zero sense to me.

If I lived in an area with great public transportation, where a car really wasn't necessary, I wouldn't care whether or not a guy had his own car. I don't live in such a place though, so yes, a man without a car would raise some major red flags and perhaps makes me wonder if maybe he got too many DUI's. I'm also something of a traditionalist when it comes to relationships with men and don't really want to date any who seem less "manly" than me. :) I tend to expect them to want to take charge of certain things.

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Originally Posted by bekkilyn

If I lived in an area with great public transportation, where a car really wasn't necessary, I wouldn't care whether or not a guy had his own car. I don't live in such a place though, so yes, a man without a car would raise some major red flags and perhaps makes me wonder if maybe he got too many DUI's. I'm also something of a traditionalist when it comes to relationships with men and don't really want to date any who seem less "manly" than me. :) I tend to expect them to want to take charge of certain things.

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Define "manly?" ;)

As Suze Orman used to say-people first then $ then things. If I lived in an big urban area I could see being car less. But where we live now-no would not date a man without a car.

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Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler

Define "manly?" ;)

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There are men who are girlfriends and then there are men who are men. ;)

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Originally Posted by bekkilyn

There are men who are girlfriends and then there are men who are men. ;)

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This is an interesting topic to me because I believe that gender is largely learned and gender performance ("acting manly," for instance) is culturally constructed.

My personal policy is: I will do whatever I want. haha This is regardless of how normative culture views it -- manly, not manly, feminine, etc.

I have been told I "talk like a f*g." Which I am fine with... whatever that means, anyway.

I have a full beard, fish, shoot clay pigeons, and can curse like a sailor. But I also read memoirs, love disco music, and enjoy ethnic cuisine. I can't fix cars or repair appliances. But I can butcher a duck and play a little harmonica.

I like to be balanced. ;)