The slow fade?

[Ultralight]

First, let me say thanks for caring and that these are excellent questions.

Ultraliteangler, sometimes I think about your future and I feel sad.

Please don't. Feel sad for me if I get cancer of the everything or if I accidentally start a family or two or if I ever have to move back to Phoenix. haha

But don't feel sad about the current trajectory of my life. haha

You haven't mentioned your gf lately, so I don't know what's up with that...

It seems as though we have split. It happened a couple weeks ago. We have remained on good terms though, and it has all been very polite thus far. A very "adult" break-up, I suppose. She is a good woman.

...I see you moving out away from the only family you feel connected to and focusing on divesting yourself of people and items. I look down a road where you age, retire, divest yourself of your car, stop attending your groups because it is too much trouble, your dog is gone, and one day the super investigates an odor and finds your remains in a tiny room with a hotplate, a spoon, a pot, a can opener, a mattress with one sheet, a toothbrush and a change of clothes. Nobody claims the body.

1. Do I feel that connected to them? haha
2. I do divest from many items, but that is not so bothersome. I don't need many things. After all, they are just things.
3. I divest from some people, that is true. I do this when the costs outweigh the benefits.
4. I will never be able to retire. haha! Now I know you're just razzing me!
5. I would like to divest of my car some day. I don't like driving or paying all the fuel costs and such.
6. It is highly unlikely I will stop attending my community groups. I am very involved in the atheist community and I intend to get more involved -- in many ways it is the light of my life. And I am probably facilitating another voluntary simplicity class this spring. I am thinking of doing one or two a year in perpetuity.
7. When my dog is gone I will probably be very, very sad for a few months. I will get over it though, unless he is lost or suffers a horrible death. But if he can die peacefully in a vet's office after eating a large slice of pizza and vanilla ice cream, then I will be okay with Harlan passing. I don't fear his death; I fear his suffering.
8. We're all stardust. When I pass away, regardless of how it happens or who claims or does not claim the body, then I will still be stardust.

Why would you not try to have positive interactions with your dad?

I have! Why do you think I nag him about going fishing with me? Saturday when he came down we revealed his DNA ethnicity results. We grilled burgers and got side-dishes he likes, etc.

Why would you not reach out and drink life from a fire hose?

I am not that thirsty.

Your "spiritual tradition" says that this is all there is. And yet, you seem intent on rejecting even this. On working your way doggedly toward nothingness.

Not true! I cry foul here. I go fishing; I went Fri, Sat, and twice on Sun! While I was out there I showed some kids what wax worms were and how to fish trout because they were not catching anything. I spent an hour fishing with some Russian guy and talking about the differences of fishing trout and crappie. I exchanged pleasantries with perhaps 50 other anglers and had a long talk with a ranger about muskie. I also went to a potluck with my voluntary simplicity crew; we told lots of jokes and funny stories; we had some heartfelt discussions; we ate yummy food; the host showed us some Tai Chi. I played fetch with Harlan in the back yard.

Are you seeing someone about depression?

Kinda...?