Tragic Murder/Suicide in KC

[Gregg]

Not sure how much press this story is getting elsewhere, but we aren't far from Kansas City so are hearing quite a bit. Jovan Belcher was a 25 year old member of the Kansas City Chiefs (NFL) who killed his girlfriend with their young daughter in the next room then later killed himself. It's a sad and very hard to understand story. It resonates in our house because earlier this year a couple who was extremely close to us were also victims of a murder/suicide. The link below is to a short story from CNN that I think is very perceptive in how the author tries to make some sense out of some disturbing trends in our society. Every time we've debated gun control over the years I always seem to come back to the same point, its not the guns per se that we need to address, its the pressures society puts on the people using them and the negative and even desperate situations people get into when they feel there is no other choice. I'm not looking to restart that debate, I just thought this article was insightful. I'm going to call my son now to make sure he knows its ok to not be a rock solid macho man all the time...


http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/03/opinio...html?hpt=hp_c1

[The Storyteller]

[Gregg]

There is certainly truth in what Bob Costas said, or rather what Jason Whitlock said that Costas quoted, but that sentiment does absolutely nothing to address, much less attempt to improve, what is happening in our society. We have created a culture in which violence is accepted and even (I think) expected. Jason Whitlock got part of it right, the problem is that he is only looking at a symptom, not at the disease and what causes it. We can ban everything from assault rifles to ball point pens, but until we deal with the causes of violence the best we can hope for is to slow the train down a little. To turn it around is a much more complex issue than the over-simplified, but politically expedient, idea that banning anything will change society.

[bae]

The theory is that an NFL linebacker couldn't simply have slain his girlfriend and child with his bare hands? He was 6'2" tall and 228 pounds of muscle...

[Alan]

You know I've pretty much sworn off getting involved in these discussions on this forum, but that's not enough. Now I have to stop watching football too?

[CathyA]

Yes, he could have slain her with his bare hands. But its just so darned easy to pull that trigger in a fit of rage. If you're getting punched around, you have time to scream and hopefully run, or somehow fight back. With a bullet.....that's usually all she wrote.
Guns in the hands of reasonable people might not be bad.........but in the hands of someone who has a short fuse..........

[The Storyteller]

Guns in the hands of reasonable people might not be bad.........but in the hands of someone who has a short fuse..........

... and all 'roided up...

I thought it was a pretty ballsy move by Costas, considering half the rednecks in the country (ie, Cowboys fans) were likely watching. He should run for office.

It also struck a nerve with me after watching all day all these moron sports commentators spew the same crap they always do about such things. Costas' take was refreshing.

[The Storyteller]

The theory is that an NFL linebacker couldn't simply have slain his girlfriend and child with his bare hands? He was 6'2" tall and 228 pounds of muscle...

I'll take that any day if the alternative is a loaded gun, having looked down the barrel of a couple in my less mellow youth.

[bae]

I used to spend a lot of time helping people in abusive relationships escape the attentions of their abuser.

I saw ...horrible things... that still disturb my peace. Done by hands, blunt objects, fire and chemicals, sharp objects, and firearms.

Tools aren't the problem. Violent, abusive people are the problem.

But, sometimes in the hands of the victim of such violence, tools can be pretty helpful.

[redfox]

Tools aren't the problem. Violent, abusive people are the problem.

Yes, yes yes. Domestic violence is exactly what this incident is. I should hope the entire male sports world sees this, and stands up against it. And, guns need to be very very hard to get a hold of, especially for abusers.

It's not linear, this DV/guns thing. The confluence of abusive individuals, usually male, with a tool designed specifically & only to be a deadly weapon, combined with a social structure of male supremacy, add the omnipotence of the pro football dude, and a cultural history of it's okay to hurt women, equals a dead women, and sometimes their abusers too. And an orphaned child.

Many places to intervene in the system.