December Decluttering or 100 Items

[early morning]

Haven't been keeping track too well, been a crazy month. Off the top of my head: 5 magazines to work, 1 shirt, pair of PJs, pk of undies (marked wrong size) sweater to homeless drop off; 5 knick-knacks to GW, dying plant to compost, hot coco maker (gifted to me) to sale box - 16 that I can think of.

[ejchase]

3 faulty sets of Christmas lights to the trash.

Total for month: 44

[SteveinMN]

3 faulty sets of Christmas lights to the trash

I'm probably too late here, but I'll throw in that lights (working or not) can be recycled. Type recycle christmas lights <your area> into your favorite Web search engine to find out who accepts lights; sometimes they even give you a discount toward LED lights.

[fidgiegirl]

2 big pumpkins to compost drop off

= 31

[Gardenarian]

My daughter is trying to declutter her room. She got to the point of dumping everything out on her bed - and then seemed to give up. She's sleeping on the floor in the attic.
I can't physically help, as I'm unable to put any weight on my foot for another 2 weeks.
Do you guys have any words of wisdom to help her?
She started with the three boxes, but now she can't even find them...

[fidgiegirl]

Sounds like she needs to get some of it OUT so she can see what's left. We typically set up three receptacles - donate, trash, sell - sometimes if it's bad we'll have additional ones like "basement" or "attic" so we are not running all over the whole time. If she could at least get SOME of the donation or trash out, she'd be able to see some of the rest for what it is.

I think it's hard for youths to know what they even need to keep. I kept SO MUCH in my teen years because that's what I saw modeled (not a comment on your home, just mine). So if I knew I wanted to clean out, I didn't know how to do it. I just shuffled stuff around - it sounds like DD might be in a similar spot. It was when I finally figured out that I didn't have to ask my mother for permission (again, only a comment on my own situation) that I was finally able to make some headway. But I was older than 14 at that point.

The bed would be the perfect starting point.

I wonder if even with your bum foot you can help her talk through some of it? Is she interested in help?

[SteveinMN]

It wouldn't hurt to set up some sort of "extreme schedule", either. Set a kitchen timer (or cell phone or whatever) to go off in 15 minutes and work like the dickens for the 15 minutes. When the alarm goes off, set it for 5-10 minutes from that time and take a break (5 minutes if she can work with that; 10 minutes otherwise). Play a bit of a video game, catch up on social media, grab a favorite beverage, etc. When the alarm goes off that time, set it for another 15 minutes of concentrated effort. DD knows she only has to do 15 minutes before she can stop, and she may find that, once she starts, the progress she sees will encourage her to go longer between breaks.

[mschrisgo2]

In my experience and observation, one needs a guideline of some sort in order to declutter. i.e. only keep what fits on this shelf, only keep what I've actually worn in the last 6 months, etc. I think the hardest part for kids is that the world still holds All possibilities, and they don't have any frame of reference for decision making of that sort.

I remember well when my daughter totally decluttered her room. Her statement was "This can't be a museum of my childhood any more. I'm a teenager now." She was 15.5 and did a very thorough sweep. I wondered at the time if she'd ever regret it; I asked her that recently (she's 36 now) and she said "Not even for one second. It was one of the most empowering things I've ever done."

Maybe this isn't the the right time for your daughter yet, to make that big sweep, and she just needs some help to get it liveable again until she's really ready.

[Gardenarian]

Thanks for your words of wisdom! I have been trying to encourage to just get the worst stuff into our "out box" in the attic, but she seems frozen and is really stressy around this. She does have so much - not that we spend a lot, but she gets tons of hand-me-downs and loves thrift & garage sale shopping.

She's done this with me a few times and I think she thought she could handle it herself.

I have tried the timer - even for just two minutes! I have told her that she can just put everything in laundry baskets for starters - she's still frozen.

Maybe it is just the wrong time for her, as mschrisgo2 said - but dang, she picked a lousy time! Got to get it done by New Year's - guests have always been a great motivator for me.

I think I will ask dh to help clear the bed, then I can hop on in there and help out. What a way to spend Xmas eve! As good as any I guess - at least she's not getting a lot of stuff tomorrow (minimal Xmas gifts.)

[SteveinMN]

Well, unless guests will be sleeping in the attic (where DD is sleeping now), maybe the best course of action for now is to just close the door on DD's room while guests are visiting...