HSSJ: The Signs?

[Rosemary]

I realized I had to get out of there when I had the feeling that every day I was there was taking 2 days off my lifespan.

Shortly before that, I found that letting out a scream when I got to my car in the afternoon was an excellent release.
Before that, I had stabbing pains in my stomach... particularly after meetings which a certain person attended.
And prior to that, I got a new manager who was really toxic and micromanaging. I can't stand being micromanaged. I should have formulated my escape plan right then.

(As for jobs being boring: Yes, they are. I had a perfect job for my first year our of school: I got to move every 3 months to a new department of my choosing. After a year, most of my jobs felt really boring and stale. Sometimes a new project can be rejuvenating.)

[Spartana]

I've never had a HSSJ (although other's may think they were terrible - and the one that most thought was terrible was the one that I loved) but I found that I really hate a "regular" 9 to 5ish kind of job with it's routine, mundane predictability, boredom, lack of excitement, schedules, commutes, staying in one place, etc... Just never really adjusted to that kind of "normal" work. It left me depressed, unfulfilled, antsy to be putting so much of my "life energy" into a daily grind that, while enjoying the actual job, left me longing for more and different. So even though the job itself might be great, and my last job - environmental compliance officer - was, I found it very hard to live the lifestyle it involved with a regular 9 to 5 job so made plans to leave asap. It took a few years of scrimping and saving to be able to take a long period of time off work (had planned on 5 years) to do some things I had a passion for. That sabbatical ended up turning into full time retirement.

[kitten]

Ah yes. Scary and true! And good advice.

At the organization where I previously worked, I always knew there was dysfunction but I was able to work around it for the most part. That all changed in one fateful day. I was in the middle of an extended business trip (the first one I had made away from my second child, who was then a little over a year old). I had accomplished some pretty major stuff and was actually getting ready to tell my boss I was ready to return to full-time work (I had gone part time at his suggestion when I came back from maternity leave). I'd had some really good project development meetings that day and was feeling pretty good. Then I opened my email to find a fateful message that informed the entire organization that we were having another organizational restructuring. Fine, no big deal. That was about the fourth one we'd been through at that point. EXCEPT: the restructuring meant they had created a position that would have been perfect for me, but they had already hired someone for it. WITHOUT TELLING ME THEY WERE CREATING IT! And he had no sectoral experience whatsoever. Oh, and then when I opened the new organizational chart they had created, I wasn't even on it. Me/my position had literally been left out of the new arrangement.

It was pretty much all downhill from there. I tried to play nice, but there were all kinds of creative antics after that point, and I ended up completely demoralized and psychologically traumatized. I had really given my heart and soul to the organization, so it was incredibly painful. It SHOULD have been my dream job, and it turned into a nightmare.

Signs I should have been more attentive to:

Psycho boss who turned on me had done it to other people. That was his pattern. He would get very close to someone, and then turn around and destroy them. I was next in line.

When psycho boss suggested I go part time, that was actually the beginning of the end. I thought he was being nice, but what really happened was he got a nearly full-time effort from me for part-time pay.

Psycho boss had a habit of misremembering the content of key conversations. I eventually learned to document every single phone call with him with a follow up email summarizing main points and action items agreed on. I also saved every communication with him.

Anything that has happened to other people can happen to you. It doesn't matter if you are the golden child today. You may be set up and turn into the "deadbeat" tomorrow. People can be incredibly devious and destructive when their own interests are at stake.

Best lesson learned: YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH BEING MISTREATED!!!!! There are lots of jobs out there, and sometimes the ones that don't appear to be the best fit will actually be the best for you. I have thrived in my new organization, and have some real potential for growth here. Not that it doesn't have its dysfunction, as well. But I'm a little more tolerant of it and able to stay out of the cesspools, and do some pretty great stuff when I put my mind/energy to it.

Hope your job doesn't turn out to be a SSJ or HSSJ, but if it is looking like it might then the arrival of the baby may be a good time to reevaluate and see what your other options are.

[gimmethesimplelife]

When I start scheming a way out of said given job and start calculating how long my savings will last me if I quit - that's when I know I'm in a HSSJ. For me, I just keep tolerating and tolerating and tolerating until one day I have my fill and start doing the survival math - that's when I know I'm in a s$$$$y job. Before this point, it's almost like I'm oblivious to it. Rob

[Gardenarian]

When I was glad that I was sick because I had an excuse not to go to work.
You should never be happy to be sick.

[Teacher Terry]

Fidgiegirl, if you have a Master's degree you can teach online or in person at the college level as an instructor. Teaching online would be perfect with a new baby and you really have a ton of autonomy. Also so many colleges now offer courses online and hire people from all over the country since all you need is the internet. You can teach at the 2 or 4 year level and do as much or as little as you want. The pay really varies from just okay to really well. After a semester of practice if you teach the same course with a classroom of between 25-35 students you are looking at about 10 hours per week on average. They usually pay a set fee not on how many students you have but usually limit the # of students per class. Just a thought

[RosieTR]

I had worked for my boss for 7 years when the office moved to AZ. Once there, it became HSSJ almost immediately. The signs:
-boss became far less communicative and projects seemed to go nowhere
-organization was clearly dysfunctional, with higher-ups abruptly replaced, time/money spent on bureaucratic issues that did nothing to further the mission of the org
-boss's wife, who had worked part time before, became full time despite not really having the work to do so but clearly having some type of uncontrolled mental illness issues (likely some OCD coupled with one or more personality disorders)

The final straw was a very ugly meeting in which we were told we were all going to be fired. Instead of being saddened and shocked, I was happy because it was the kick in the pants I needed to leave AZ. Right then I promised myself I would be leaving even if it meant living in my parents' basement and working at 7Eleven. Thankfully neither occurred, but when you're thinking that your car or a friend's couch or whatever is a better option than continuing to work, it's a HSSJ. My other coworkers and I also all had more than one discussion about whether we were each starting to show symptoms of a depressive disorder (by and large yes).

[SteveinMN]

The final straw was a very ugly meeting in which we were told we were all going to be fired.

Gotta love those meetings! I've only had to endure one of those meetings but I have friends and colleagues who have been through several. That one didn't worry me much; you could see it coming if you were paying attention. But I'm glad such a meeting was the catalyst for you to move on, Rosie!