Pay down mortgage or save for retirement?

[Teacher Terry]

Sometimes the sacrifices are well worth it though. Just a thought that if you are always just trying to worry about yourself there might come a day that you will regret it & wished you had put the person above all else-or maybe not.

[Spartana]

Sometimes the sacrifices are well worth it though. Just a thought that if you are always just trying to worry about yourself there might come a day that you will regret it & wished you had put the person above all else-or maybe not.

Well it's not so much about always worrying about myself, but more one of compatibility. I think for both people in a relationship to be happy both need to be OK, for the most part, with whatever compromises and sacrifices they need to make for the relationship. If they aren't, then neither person will be happy or fulfilled with their life. I was married a long time and we both made a lot of compromises and sacrifices so that the other could be happy and fulfilled. Unfortunately it ended up leaving both of us unhappy and unfulfilled after making so many compromises. So now I would rather be alone (or at least not in a permanent relationship) then be in a relationship with someone for whom I (or he) has to make too many compromises and/or sacrifices to our lives in order to be together. Now if I was already with someone (married or in a committed relationship) then I imagine I'd be more flexible. But as a single person I'd rather be with someone who shares much of the same life goals as I do or I'd rather stay single and unattached. It's the same with a guy who's a huge spender or very materialistic or deeply in debt because of frivolous spending - I wouldn't want to marry him either because it would require too much of a change in the simple lifestyle I want. Although I will be happy to let him take me to dinner

[ApatheticNoMore]

If I were to marry say the current BF (who's 10 years younger then me and not anywhere near retirement or quitting his job) I'd have to continue living around here for a couple of more decades for his job and family and, yes, his beloved house, that would kill me. And he really wouldn't want to move out of SoCal anyways (unless it's too Hawaii) as he is a total SoCal surfer volleyball beach boy. If it get colder then 70 he may actually freeze to death (IHHO).

So the guy wants commitment, wants to stay in SoCal, and I don't know if he's my dating age range but it's possible. If you don't want him: send him my way If it gets less than 70 I'll put the heater on for us cause BRRRR

[Teacher Terry]

Awesome

[Spartana]

So the guy wants commitment, wants to stay in SoCal, and I don't know if he's my dating age range but it's possible. If you don't want him: send him my way If it gets less than 70 I'll put the heater on for us cause BRRRR

Ha Ha!! And he's nice and good looking too! Yes, I know, I'm crazy (or so say my female friends) but he wants what he wants, and I want what I want - which is to not stay in SoCal for the next 20 - 25 years and possibly beyond while he works. And if you remember he was a big reason I moved back down here to this area. But I wouldn't want him to give up his lifestyle and job, both of which he loves, just to please me any more then he would want me to change mine just to please him. And anyway, somewhere out there the legendary Sven awaits - if Jane V.2 hasn't nabbed him yet :-)!

[jp1]

ANM, surely you can think of other ways to keep warm than put on the heater if it gets below 70... :-)