Quote Originally Posted by freshstart View Post
Yeah, I know not to do that from dealing with my mom. You can give a little nudge, offer to help but, ok I guess I have to use the word, hoarders have to feel empowered in order to accomplish getting rid of the littlest thing and they want to make that decision. That's just my personal experience with my mom and ex-DBF.

I can never have a relationship again with a hoarder, because honestly even if they are "good" for a while, they usually relapse, and I view it as a problem that needs a therapist's intervention. And they are a trigger for me, I NEED to get them to go through their stuff. Not a good match. And I need to be somewhat on the same page regarding finances. How a potential partner chooses to spend their money is none of my business. But if it gets serious, I think knowing how they handle money is important. If someone has funded as well as possible for the future and they buy "toys" because they can still afford to, that doesn't bother me, not my choice but I could have a long term relationship with such a person. If they have debt beyond reason, do not stop buying, save nothing, have some weird mortgage they draw money from, this does not work for me. Life is too short to knowingly engage with someone with a lifestyle (hoarding) or financial plan that goes against you values
You know yourself well and your relationship style/quirks. So I gotta hand it to ya!

For me I think that the very act of a partner being really into buying toys or even collecting something would bother me. I am not saying no one should ever buy a toy or that no one should ever collect anything. I am just saying for me to life partner with a toy-buyer or a collector would not be good. I think it would indicate some personality concerns that would not sit right with me.