I've learned most people hear the word "budget" and cringe, like we all do at the word "diet."

So when appropriate, I talk about being very clear on what my financial needs are so I can make choices that are good for me longterm.

I start out by admitting my dog is an expensive breed. But having a pug is a essential to my happiness. (Current pug is a rescue. Next pug will be a puppy - I missed the bonding from starting with a puppy.)

Also essential is having a dependable, good-mileage car. I don't care that it is 16 years old.

I say I try to be mindful with every purchase, especially housing and food.

Listeners tend to like the idea of getting what they want by making choices.

If I make any suggestions about spending, it's usually something like "how about you get one mani-pedi a season and do the others yourself at home?"

Make small changes quickly. Make large changes thoughtfully - taking as much time as necessary. (I think it's going to take my friend 2 years to talk her DH into downsizing into a smaller house. Their big mortgage payments are killers. I've connected her to a CFP so he can be the bearer of bad news.)