Quote Originally Posted by freshstart View Post
this may sound incredibly wasteful but the impact on my life has been enormous. When I divorced, I bought a townhouse. My lawyer said take what I want, he is in no position to complain. But I had this overwhelming desire to walk away from it all and start over. I could not do that right then because of finances and we needed things like beds, but slowly over a decade, I saved cash in an envelope and almost everything got replaced or realized I did not need it. I did not buy expensive things, actually some things I got rid of were nicer than their replacement. I sold some big stuff, donated a ton and by the end of ten years, it felt like my home, totally my home (and the kids').

the only things I kept were an antique watch, the only gift he ever gave me that felt like it had meaning, it worked for like a month, very expensive to repair. DS wants to try to fix it and can't understand why I do not want to let him work on this watch, he goes, "mom, he didn't even buy it. The head of the band held out a handful and told Dad to pick two." so we are down to zero on meaningful gifts, lol. I got a push present for DD, I hate that term. 'Cultured pearls' that he kept stressing were real, with a Macy's sticker on it that said $500, later saw the receipt, $100.They got mixed in with a $20 pair I wore to prom and I cannot tell which is better, lol. I kept the china, which was really casual stuff from England, I always liked it even before I met him, so it stayed. And my wedding rings, I don't think I'd get much if I sold them, I always thought I would give them to DD and she could do what she wanted.

Being able to eventually not have to use our sheets or keep the crappy mattress that he slept on, I cannot explain the feeling. Free, I was free.

Except the wedding dress in the basement and boxes with pictures from when we met til we divorced. I am not dealing with those any time soon, even though that's where the pics of my kids when they were little are. I occasionally dive in for one of those.

Ultralight, I commend you for getting rid of all those pictures, wasn't it extremely hard?
You did what was best for you! I can understand the need to get rid of some things you all shared. That was an unexpected perk during my divorce and minimizing. It was easier to let go when the stuff we shared was gone, but I did not realize this until I minimized things for other reasons.

Getting rid of the pics was not that hard. I went through them one last time before I tossed them. It was an intense trip down memory lane -- very emotional. Pics from when I was a teen, from my college days, from grad school, etc. Memories as stored in photos can really wear on a person and they don't even know the weight that is on them. But once those photos were gone I felt free. Now, after I rarely keep photos for more than a week or so. I rarely take any photos, except for commerce (like selling on eBay) or when others ask me to take pics of them.