How to convince my girlfriend she does not need to go on pricey dates?

[freshstart]

This is an important lesson all men should learn: "I don't get all the women I want. I get all the women that want me." -- David Lee Roth

If you are not a rock star that translates into: "You get very few!" haha

how true for most, but I prefer brains

what phrase did you see on Match or the like, over and over but expressed as if the person just breezily thought of it? the biggest one affecting me was "fiscally conservative, socially liberal", I saw and heard this so many times and it is utter BS 95% of the time. But my all time favorite started out being a chick line "all of my baggage fits in the overhead compartment!", I saw this all the time when I was helping my friend. Then the men got hold of it and every person acted like it was a clever line they'd just came up with!

yeah, well, there are those packing bags that all the air is removed so they take up 1/3 of the space, anyone who said that stupid line had those bags and unlucky for you should one pop open to real life size!

[Ultralight]

how true for most, but I prefer brains

what phrase did you see on Match or the like, over and over but expressed as if the person just breezily thought of it? the biggest one affecting me was "fiscally conservative, socially liberal", I saw and heard this so many times and it is utter BS 95% of the time. But my all time favorite started out being a chick line "all of my baggage fits in the overhead compartment!", I saw this all the time when I was helping my friend. Then the men got hold of it and every person acted like it was a clever line they'd just came up with!

yeah, well, there are those packing bags that all the air is removed so they take up 1/3 of the space, anyone who said that stupid line had those bags and unlucky for you should one pop open to real life size!

Another classic used by the ladies on dating sites: "If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best."

I'd see that and be like: "Next!"

[JaneV2.0]

Another classic used by the ladies on dating sites: "If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best."

I'd see that and be like: "Next!"

Mood swings, anyone? Check your blood sugar, Toots!

[Ultralight]

Mood swings, anyone? Check your blood sugar, Toots!

I heard it was originally attributed to Marilyn Monroe.

[freshstart]

Another classic used by the ladies on dating sites: "If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best."

I'd see that and be like: "Next!"

OMG, that's a good one. It was hard not to want to edit and rewrite it for them, lol. My friend and I were thinking we could totally do this, $20, we'll make your profile a witty masterpiece, well, we'll make it less shitty and more likely to get you laid! Match was an adventure, apparently I do not have good searchable terms to look for a certain kind of guy. I searched "the New Yorker", 1 hit, a woman, we wrote each other how bad our dates were, cracked each other up for months. Then she told me she was bisexual and I already knew she liked the New Yorker!

Anyway, while be driven around town to see doctors, I have a solution for your problem: friends with benefits. That's perfect for two people like you, you kinda suspect this is not going to lead to marriage, unless it changes. And maybe it would if you said you think you should both see other people, you'll realize pretty quick if you want her and only her and I'm guessing so will she. I wouldn't present it as FWB, though, just keep that in your noggin.

[Ultralight]

OMG, that's a good one. It was hard not to want to edit and rewrite it for them, lol. My friend and I were thinking we could totally do this, $20, we'll make your profile a witty masterpiece, well, we'll make it less shitty and more likely to get you laid! Match was an adventure, apparently I do not have good searchable terms to look for a certain kind of guy. I searched "the New Yorker", 1 hit, a woman, we wrote each other how bad our dates were, cracked each other up for months. Then she told me she was bisexual and I already knew she liked the New Yorker!

Anyway, while be driven around town to see doctors, I have a solution for your problem: friends with benefits. That's perfect for two people like you, you kinda suspect this is not going to lead to marriage, unless it changes. And maybe it would if you said you think you should both see other people, you'll realize pretty quick if you want her and only her and I'm guessing so will she. I wouldn't present it as FWB, though, just keep that in your noggin.

She is super Christian and therefore does not believe in FWB.

I am not much of a FWB type guy anyway... though it sounds fun on paper. I really try to do right by any woman I date.


On Match.com I noticed the "Match Clones." There was this huge class of women on there who essentially had the same profile!

"I love to travel. I am a big fan of (insert popular sports team in my area here). My family and friends mean the world to me. I have an amazing puppy/cat! I have a great education, an excellent career, and now I just need my partner in crime. I'd prefer a guy who is tall, works out regularly, and has a house and a car. You have to make me laugh! I like romantic comedies, red wine, and Grey's Anatomy. You must be willing to take salsa lessons and be romantic too. I'd like to be married and start a family within two years. Can't wait to hear from you! My favorite books are 50 Shades of Grey and The Bible."

This is like 90% of women on internet dating sites. Lawd help me! haha

[TVRodriguez]

She is super Christian and therefore does not believe in FWB.

I am not much of a FWB type guy anyway... though it sounds fun on paper. I really try to do right by any woman I date.


On Match.com I noticed the "Match Clones." There was this huge class of women on there who essentially had the same profile!

"I love to travel. I am a big fan of (insert popular sports team in my area here). My family and friends mean the world to me. I have an amazing puppy/cat! I have a great education, an excellent career, and now I just need my partner in crime. I'd prefer a guy who is tall, works out regularly, and has a house and a car. You have to make me laugh! I like romantic comedies, red wine, and Grey's Anatomy. You must be willing to take salsa lessons and be romantic too. I'd like to be married and start a family within two years. Can't wait to hear from you! My favorite books are 50 Shades of Grey and The Bible."

This is like 90% of women on internet dating sites. Lawd help me! haha

Hahaha hahaha hahaha! Fifty Shades of Grey and the Bible! Oh hahaha! That's great. The whole thing is great. Too funny.

[catherine]

I recognize that for some people, commitment without marriage is what they value. That's fine. I just think that in the vast majority of cases where they bring children into the world, kids are best served by two committed parents with legal protections.

+1 Maybe that sounds old-fashioned to many people, but as a mother of 4, I can say that in MOST cases, having 2 parents is better than 1. Having kids isn't like buying a car--you get it and then just spin it through the car wash and get standard maintenance on it and it's good to go. It's messy, extremely time-consuming and resource-depleting and emotionally draining. Having someone to share it all with serves both the parent and the child well.

And, sharing the joys is wonderful also. Who else can you gush and gush about your kids with, without others thinking you are a total boor, if not your partner?

I know people who have chosen to have kids and gone the single route by recruiting a sperm-donor, and I respect their desire for motherhood, and I'm sure they're giving it 100%. But on those days when you only have 50% in you, it's nice, for you AND the kids, to have back-up.

[freshstart]

OMG, it's even worse now.

I can't remember when I did it, '04, I think. The book du jour was oh, that awful book, Da Vinci Code. Eventually, I stopped reading after Da Vinci Code was mentioned. One guy tried to convince me how much he loved the Kike Runner, he must've said "Kike" 5 times, I was dying. Thinking this guy is probably saying this all over the internet, I said, "do you mean Kite Runner? That was a great book." He says NO and insists it's Kike Runner, you know, slang for Jews? I am familiar. Keep up the good work, you should look for women whose lives are changed by the Secret. You'll get along great! 2004, openly uses words like Kike? Vomit.

there have to be better alternatives these days? Maybe one for people choosing a simple life....kind of like the people here. We make a dating site for the alternative crowd, whatever that may be, multiple "groups", like Vegans and Tiny Housers, Dumpster Divers, 100 items or less, etc., and we sit back and rake in the cash. Sounds, well, simple!

alright, the pope is exploding all over my tv, I have to denounce all of this shit! But it could work....

[kib]

Oh DING DING DING DING DING. DING? She's "super Christian" and you're basically atheist / agnostic? To me, "super Christian" implies that she wants to pursue a spiritual path that you think is at best unimportant and at worst (worst for the relationship, I mean) a load of nonsense. And she feels the same way about your passion for minimalism and your financial conservativism. Exactly how is that supposed to work?