my happiest level went way up in my early 40's. Kids launched, loving my career, more time to myself, pursue my own interests, not having to put the kids first, etc. Great times & things just keep getting better and better!!!!!!! I also noticed that my Mom and grandparents did not complain about their health or other things. They accepted what was and made the best of what they had. My Dad was different because he always loved life and was so happy most of the time. Then at 59 he had a massive stroke that left him with brain damage and he asked God everyday to take him. It was sad because he lived 14 more years. My Mom kept him home and we bought the house next door so we could help. It was good for him because although not happy he got to see us and the kids everyday and interact with everyone.
Substitute "the universe" or "the human condition" for "society" and I'd say you were closer to the truth. We occupy some of the cushiest berths in human history. We are the 1%, yet we can easily find things to be miserable about. We have far more than we're entitled to, yet we can still feel cheated. Some of that has got to be coming from a boundless sense of not getting our due.
I can't help but feel that if someone "exits stage left" because they feel insufficiently cherished, they are squandering a cosmically rare gift.
Haha buddy, Im not TT but I would bet that she DID put them first and probably enjoyed that, in its own way, at the time.
There are seasons of our lives and kids move on, if it all works out as it should.That doesn't mean that everyone has to suffer theough children, and it doesnt mean that one cant enjoy the time with dependent kids but also enjoy the time after thet are launched.
Now that I am older I look back at things I did that took a lot of energy at the time, and I wonder why I did that and how I could enjoy those activities, but I did! I dont want to do them now, however. I'm in a different season of my life.
I absolutely loved raising my kids and chose to have 3. We are still all very close. But by my 40's -I had my first at age 19 I was ready to be done with that part of my life. When I was raising my kids my life revolved around them, their needs, etc and I was fine with that. My friends all had kids and we had great times together. But I did not have empty nest syndrome at all. I was ready for my new phase of life. I started my new career about that time too. Now I am semi-retired and loving this part of my life-another new chapter.
The peg might be cushy. But it is still a square peg trying to get pushed into a round hole.
Cushy berths don't make people happy or give them purpose or meaning.
I think there are lots of reasons to exit stage left. Illnesses and injuries are the main ones.
I have thus far stayed true to my iron will to live, but if I got cancer of the everything I'd do my best to deep six quickly and painlessly.
One thing worth mentioning is that sometimes people's brains have bad chemicals that turn things all wacky in there. And cushy berth or not, life becomes profoundly unpleasant and depressing and filled with anxiety. These folks should be able to cash in their chips if they want too.
UL: people with depression severe or not need meds & therapy-not death. Now those with alzheimer's etc -I really feel for them. So very difficult.
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