Freshstart..........you bring up a good point about antidepressants and other brain chemicals that can help us now, that weren't available back then.
I often wondered if my father had taken them, if he would have been a kinder/gentler/less hateful, angry man.

His mother didn't like him........she resented him because she was ill a lot and had him "later"in life (probably in her late 20s!) and his older sister had to drop out of high school to help her take care of him. He hated my mother and me, but liked my brother. But then he also idolized some other women. I guess my point is, there are so many variables into why people end up being good/bad/or tolerable parents.

I was always afraid to have children, for fear I would despise them..........after all, aren't children just a royal pain in the ass (according to my father)? But instead, I think I was a very good and loving mom. But.....I didn't have to work outside the home, or be the bread-winner, so I can't say what effect that would have had on my interaction with the kids. I hope it wouldn't have changed anything.

There's just so many variables.....
Funny how some people can "escape" their upbringing and have different attitudes/traits/relationships with people, while some others continue the abuse later in life with their own families.

Work towards being different than your dad, ULA. Use his example to help guide you. Like they say.......everyone is here for a reason..........even if it's to set a horrible example.