The secondary problem is that both dh and I have huge families and for many years we warmly welcomed anyone who wanted to stay here, even though it royally stressed me out and caused a ton of work, because that's how we were both raised - that you never turn family away. We had also opened our doors to his friends anytime they wanted. So the boundary setting has to keep happening over and over again.

I do wish I had I said we were busy and could not accommodate my aunt, because I'm afraid that this visit will damage our relationship. I'm having much less tolerance for rudeness than I used to.