Simplified spaces?

[Ultralight]

Your dog is cute.

Thanks!

Your apartment says "keep away."

Why? I don't feel that way.

There is no place for a visitor, apparently, except a hard dining chair, if the couch can't be sat on by the humans. And I agree, your bed does not say, "I want company in this bed,' but rather, "I prefer to sleep alone."

There is not much of a place for a visitor. I don't really like house guests, to be honest.

Just looking at the pictures, the place looks all hard edges, somber and bleak. That may or may not be a reflection of your personality, but that's the signal it is sending out.

Bleak! Wow! lol

Okay, so I was in a long-term relationship with a guy who was very minimalist. He had an airy studio apartment which had been the living room of an old Boston townhouse. So there were some huge floor to ceiling windows, with curtains, that let in lots of light. There was a fireplace and crown molding, which gave the place some character. He slept on a futon on the floor, which he folded up to make a sitting area during the day. He had a table and two chairs that his mother gave him, because she was worried about him. He used the empty floor space for his daily workouts.

Sounds like a cool dude!

But there was a row of books on the mantle of the fireplace. A few plants which he carefully tended, some cascading over the windows. The curtains were colorful. He was a writer as a side job, so he had copies of things he'd written that he loved to show off. There were family photos on one wall. Some sports equipment neatly stacked in one out of the way corner. A special bowl for his daily ice cream that his niece had made him. He might have had less stuff that you do--his kitchen was a quarter the size of yours--but his home was warm and welcoming.

Yeah, I do need to clean up this kitchen!

When you entered his apartment, you got a sense of his personality, who he was, what was important to him. The only thing I get from looking at your pictures is that you care for your dog, and your kitchen counters are really full of stuff, so maybe you like to cook. That's it.

Perhaps if someone came into my apartment they might think: "Nothing is important to him except his dog."

That may be what you want. But is it getting you the other things in life that you want?

Who knows... who knows...

[bae]

But there was a row of books on the mantle of the fireplace.

I have noticed that visitors I have invited over of recent have taken some care to examine the titles of books in various rooms.

That may be because I've only had folks over who are into reading, among other things.

Several have recommended to me other authors, and in some cases made a point to meet me to loan me a book, and then to discuss it later, which has been great.

This has however forced me to think about reorganizing the books a bit....

[Miss Cellaneous]

There is not much of a place for a visitor. I don't really like house guests, to be honest.

There is also not much space for a girlfriend. You have written often here about your search for a girlfriend.

Your living space says there is no room for one. Where would she put her belongings? She might have a favorite chair, a desk, a nightstand, that she would want to continue to use. She might have clothing that would not fit in the same closet with yours.

Your living space signals that anyone living with you would have to meet *your* standards of minimalism. I think there are many minimalist women out there, but not a whole lot who would be willing to let someone else determine what they can or can't own.

You say you want a girlfriend. But your apartment sends a different message. Your very bed sends a different message. Your unwillingness to bend the slightest bit from your list of "must haves" in a potential partner sends a different message. You have, consciously or not, created many barriers to getting what you claim to want.

[Teacher Terry]

MC, I totally agree with you.

[Ultralight]

There is also not much space for a girlfriend. You have written often here about your search for a girlfriend.

Your living space says there is no room for one. Where would she put her belongings? She might have a favorite chair, a desk, a nightstand, that she would want to continue to use. She might have clothing that would not fit in the same closet with yours.

Your living space signals that anyone living with you would have to meet *your* standards of minimalism. I think there are many minimalist women out there, but not a whole lot who would be willing to let someone else determine what they can or can't own.

You say you want a girlfriend. But your apartment sends a different message. Your very bed sends a different message. Your unwillingness to bend the slightest bit from your list of "must haves" in a potential partner sends a different message. You have, consciously or not, created many barriers to getting what you claim to want.

What are your ideas for a solution? I am listening.

[Teacher Terry]

Furniture, artwork and curtains for a start.

[Ultralight]

Furniture, artwork and curtains for a start.

How about two wooden rocking chairs?

Could I use my own artwork?

I don't really know how to put curtains up.

[Teacher Terry]

Your own artwork would be great. If your sister has any decorating experience maybe ask her for help. Hanging curtains is easy. I have done it many times. Your apartment doesn’t feel homey. It should feel inviting and comfortable. The 2 rocking chairs could work. You want to create a conversation area.

[Ultralight]

You say you want a girlfriend.

I want a gal like her:

[Ultralight]

Or like this gal!