Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
In my 64 years of life, I cannot think of when I’ve been “gaslighted.” I don’t think I am clueless, and neither am I so sophisticated that these manipulators dont try me as a victim. I just have not had it happen, I guess.


I do know people who are liars, people who do not present the truth in all kinds of ways, and after figuring that out I stay away from them so maybe that’s my protection against “gaslighters. “
I can see how you don't get gaslighting--You are probably ultra-certain of your own reality and not easily swayed. (At least that's how I see you). If your DH were gas lighting he would repeatedly tell you you that your irises and lilies could never compete with other people's. Maybe he'd be the kind of person jealous of your talent, so he would try to manipulate you into believing that you are a failure at raising irises and lilies so that you would be around to give him more attention. That's an example of gas lighting.

Gaslighting isn't just lying, or just manipulating--it's coercion by getting people to doubt their own reality. Narcissists and charismatic personalities are very talented at achieving this.