Smallest Space Lived in Happily

[iris lilies]

Thanks IL. Yes he can get a big enough mortgage to buy me out. Because we have no debt besides the mortgage his payment will be 50% of his take home pay. It’s way cheaper than rent but dumb. He could buy a small condo and have money leftover. He is bad with money so it won’t be good but not my problem. The fact that he packed for a week and it didn’t make a dent is telling. I know it would have fallen to me and my son to do everything for a sale. I am so relieved to just take my stuff and go. My son is happy because he would have cut his trip short to help me. He is supportive and willing to do anything to help. I don’t need help now as I am packing and hiring movers.

Surprisingly I don’t even feel bad about the loss of a marriage because of not only the repeated cheating but the laziness, hoarding, having to literally do all the work. I actually feel relieved although if not for the cheating I would have continued to suck it up. My kids used to really like him and now not so much. I will miss the ability to have someone to do things with spontaneously versus planning. However, I am comfortable doing things alone.

Yeah, I was empathizing with you heavily about all of your husband’s STUFF you would have had to deal with to get your house ready to sell. This is a huge blessing, him keeping the house.

Who knows, you two might end up as companions in the future. If you can get along during a house improvement project (laying pergo) you have the basis. And I know you are close to your step sons, so those relationships will continue, no doubt.

[iris lilies]

I think TT knowing herself well enough to put her feeling of safety first is good.

That is such a subjective thing, but important.

Our condo building lost its insurance last year due to new crime reports for the neighborhood. Another insurance carrier at the same price, stepped in. It is a secure building.

But here’s what is odd, and weird, and potentially scary: last spring, two young white men gained entry somehow and went up the elevator to steal—get this—floor mats. Maybe that’s all they could find to take, but how weird.

Our friends who live in another secure building in our neighborhood had a more serious break-in a few weeks ago. Someone knowingly broke into, via window, the mail room where many Xmas packages were sitting. Took them all.

[Teacher Terry]

IL, yes he suggested we could still be companions and live separately. The biggest issue wasn’t his stuff it’s his continuing unfaithfulness. No I am so very done. My youngest stepson wants to keep in contact and I do to. The oldest one stole from his dying mom despite having a good job. His mom found out 2 years before she died and cut him out of her will and life. I haven’t had anything to do with him ever since.

[Teacher Terry]

Jane, patio heaters aren’t allowed here. Plus it’s big. Razz, I lived on the bottom floor alone in a security building. I still had devices on windows and sliders and had trouble sleeping. It goes all the way back to being a victim of a break in when I was sleeping, home alone with a baby.

[Gardnr]

Catherine, the nicer one makes my heart sing. If I go with that one I may have to give up my antique dining room table and chairs. I have had it 40 years and it’s in perfect shape. From the pictures it doesn’t look like it would fit. It’s a 52 in square without the leaves. I figured I could use a card table when I had dinner guests. I eat in the living room watching tv when I am alone anyways. That’s amazing that your small place is neater. When I had my small condo I had 9 people for dinner and it was one of the best thanksgiving ever.

Your heart needs to sing. I would go nicer. The location sounds lovely and close to everything you enjoy. I would hang onto that table until you're in-maybe it will surprise you. And as discussions around here have gone, antiques aren't very sellable these days. If it truly won't fit, have it cut down. You'll enjoy it for your remaining days.

I've been offline for awhile. I am so very sorry you've been treated with such disrespect. You have tremendous self-respect and I send you hugs.

[JaneV2.0]

Your heart needs to sing. I would go nicer. ....

This can't be repeated often enough. Follow your instincts, and don't settle.

[Teacher Terry]

Gard, thanks for your support. My son had me measure the space and it’s much to small. A bigger condo in that building would make me house poor which I don’t want to be. I intend to travel to Europe and also take cruises again. I have happily lived in 2 others that weren’t as nice and one of the two is more expensive and nicer. Since there aren’t many security buildings I will just have to see what’s available. I don’t want to keep living with my husband for months if possible not to. I am ready to move on.

[Tybee]

Gard, thanks for your support. My son had me measure the space and it’s much to small. A bigger condo in that building would make me house poor which I don’t want to be. I intend to travel to Europe and also take cruises again. I have happily lived in 2 others that weren’t as nice and one of the two is more expensive and nicer. Since there aren’t many security buildings I will just have to see what’s available. I don’t want to keep living with my husband for months if possible not to. I am ready to move on.

When we lived in Beaufort, there was a really nice apartment complex where you could get a three month rental. now that he is in the house and you are not going to be in the house, I would look for something similar with a 3 month rental and get out now, so you can do your thinking in peace.

You do not need to spend another day under the same roof, and give yourself time to find a place that makes your heart sing.

[Teacher Terry]

Financially it’s in both of ours best interests to stay in the house. Plus in this state you can lose rights to property if you leave. If we stay together we won’t have to use our savings to pay bills. I am hoping that by the end of February his will be over. Rents here are ridiculous. If I couldn’t buy I couldn’t afford to stay in this town on my income. Plus I have my 2 dogs. I just need to be smart.

[happystuff]

It sounds like you are planning and analyzing everything well.... kudos to you! And sending more hugs as it is still a sucky situation.