Kids can determine their pronouns, who gives a fk, just as they can determine their hair color, their nickname, their real name, and if they want to consider their gender “Butterfly” OK that’s fine. No one cares, it’s when they start carving up their bodies or making permanent changes to bone, muscle, etc. with cross sex hormones or hormone blockers, that’s when it’s a concern to me.
But people DO care, some of them, and are passing laws saying teachers are not allowed to use gender pronouns if they don't match the birth-recorded gender of their students. THAT is a problem. If I understand you to be saying that THOUGHTFUL PARENTS should be allowed to work with their children to get them gender-affirming care, then I totally agree with you. I also agree there should be no surgery to change physical presentations of gender before the legal age of consent, and I would not at all be against mandated NON RELIGIOUS counseling prior to any such surgery - which many surgeons already require (but I don't know if that's a law or just following best practice). But saying parents have the right to determine what schools teach, impacting kids other than their own, but don't have the right to seek appropriate gender care for their own child is just wrong.