Catherine, you are right about happystuff--a kind and loyal poster! I think the principle you talk about in your first post is so important. I am trying to be the person who is bringing peace because I want peace--kind of like happystuff's point. I am definitely having my struggles with this family stuff and treating people better than they are treating me--but I know that you and happystuff are right about this.
I just didn't comment because I felt I wasn't living up to what you guys were talkiing about! Or how to do it when you are confronted with situations that are wrong, and you don't want to be a doormat. Things like that.