Glad you're getting some help with your mom. Good thoughts your way.
Glad you're getting some help with your mom. Good thoughts your way.
Thanks everyone.
IL: She has lost over 20 lbs since November and her appetite is diminishing. That seems to be the biggest factor in her now being eligible for hospice. She does have asthma/COPD, but that hasn't been a major factor, it has been well-controlled with her medication (Breo Ellipta).
Glad that her medication is doing the job. I also have Breo and love it! Continued prayers and hugs to all.Originally Posted by rosarugosa
To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown
So today marked a new low in the ongoing nightmare of caregiving. Mom looked me in the eye with a face full of hatred, and told me not to touch her, that she would first break my one arm and then the other, while squeezing my hand with all the strength she could muster.
My crime? Trying to change her wet and dirty Depends (wipes pre-warmed in the microwave, space heater on in the already 78 degree room).
OK cool. We'll let the space heater run for a bit and put on some soothing music, and try again later.
Second attempt, and she tells me that she will get a knife and kill me, that she wants me dead and away from her. The venom in her voice! I kept telling her, "Mom, it's me, Rosa. You LOVE me! You don't want to hurt me." It was like trying to reason with a rabid animal.
Third time's a charm and I get the Depends off and into the trash, was able to clean her up somewhat and get a new Depends on her. Not the best job ever, but pretty pleased with myself under the circumstances.
It's a damned good thing I am emotionally resilient. The worst part is that there isn't even a word to describe the horror my big-hearted, loving mother would have felt if she knew she was saying those words to someone she loved. But that thing inhabiting my mother's body is not my mother; she is long gone. I've had people say to enjoy her while I still have her. I find that hilarious!
Rosa, it really is a good thing you are emotionally resilient. Caregiving is not for the feint of heart--especially caregiving mothers with dementia. How often does hospice come?
"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
www.silententry.wordpress.com
Oh Rosa, I cannot imagine it. Sending you strength!
I'm so sorry, Rosa.
Rosa, my heart goes out to you. Sending continued strength and a gentle hug.
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!
Oh my, that is a challenge indeed. So sorry.
That is awful, Rosa. My mom used to threaten to kill the workers at her memory care and "bury them on her farm." They actually checked with me to make sure she hadn't actually buried anyone on the farm.
When they look at you with hatred, or fear--that's the worst.
Is memory care a possibility in your situation?
You are right, she would be devastated if she knew what she was saying. It is just like you said, like someone else is inhabiting their body, and not a good someone. It's like they are possessed.
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