Quote Originally Posted by mira View Post
Today on my morning break at work I went up to the staff room to have some coffee and read a book, as I do nearly every day. A colleague from another department (who I've met once or twice) said to me "You're welcome to come sit with us and maybe, you know, get to know us. We don't bite." I said thank you and that I just like to sit and read on my break.

I'm annoyed that I let myself get upset over her comment, since it implies that I'm being horrendously unsociable every day. I'm annoyed that my response probably paints me as some kind of socially inept, shy loner.

I always say hello to colleagues I've met/been introduced to when our paths cross, or chat when they come into our department, which is more than I can say for a lot of them. I walk past a lot of gaze-avoiders in the hall and you're lucky if you get a 'good morning' out of the people in the office adjacent to ours.

My entire job revolves around talking to people - I don't want to do that on my break OR talk about work on my break, which inevitably happens. I'm sure her intentions were good enough. It's not that I'm too shy to join anyone at breaks... I just choose not to for the reasons I just mentioned! ARGH! I'll be taking my break in our departmental office from now on, I think :/
Speaking as an extrovert, I think the subtextual message in the invitation was that this pereon would really like to get to know you. May I recommend that you respond to that invitation, and then frame your need for alone time? You don't need to comply with an invitation to appreciate the intent... what pops to mind is something like this: 'thank you! I appreciate your kindness. Right now what I really need most is some quiet time, which I can imagine you understand.'

Honoring the opening and the connection while keeping your boundaries is possible...