I agree with everyone else--follow your instincts, and don't listen what you feel in your heart is not the right decision for you. Put aside the anxiety that naturally comes with any move.

Just for the record, I had a similar situation where I had no choice--I could not afford my home. I was working full time and my child care for 3 kids ate up over 50% of my income as a secretary. My DH at the time had some health/addiction issues. I don't think I ever made a conscious decision to not pay the mortgage--it just couldn't get paid. My optimistic delusions made me hope that my DH would straighten himself out and get a big commission check and we'd be able to pay it back.

For two years we lived without paying the mortgage and knowing we were eventually going to get kicked out. Psychologically, it's a very hard place to be in. You're literally in limbo. You don't fix up the place because you can't afford and it doesn't make sense to bother, so you're living in place below your standards. You want to think ahead, but there's a spot in your mental timeline that hits a wall--it's very stressful. You don't feel you have any control of your future. So consider that as you are making that decision as well.

As it turned out, my uncle, who was in real estate, was able to negotiate a deed-in-lieu-of-foreclosure with the bank. We set out to find a new place. We drove from upstate New York into New Jersey, with no clue as to what was going to happen next. I had three small boys and was 8 months pregnant. My MIL was with us and she mentioned something as we passed a particular random street going down Route 1, and so we just turned off and went to a real estate office. Out came a cute, perky real estate agent who took one look at me smothered with kids, and said, "I have just the right place for you!"

She took us to a rental--a 3 bedroom house that abutted a park and a school. She figured with 3.8 kids that would be a key driver for me! The kids ran around happily in the yard, noting the jungle gym in the park. Well, aside from the avocado shag carpeting and metallic wallpaper, the place seemed pretty good. But my DH said to the agent, "It's nice and all, but we can't just take the first house we see."

"OK," she said. "Look all weekend if you want, but you'll be back."

She was right. We went back.

A few years later the landlord decided he didn't like being a long-distance landlord and offered us the house. My very generous MIL helped us scrape together a down payment and in one short trip to the lawyer, the house was ours. That was over 20 years ago--I'm I'm sitting here writing this post looking out at that same park, the same school.

I was so anxious, and so upset, and my self-esteem had been decimated and this is what came of it. God works in mysterious ways! So listen to your gut (what I would call the God within you)