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Haha. Definitely a male thing (inviting males on this forum to defend yourselves).
It may be a male thing but I don't feel the need to justify it. Being retired and home alone every day, I have cable news on the TV from the time I get up in the morning until my wife gets home in the afternoon. It's not loud because I'm usually reading something while watching and I'm one of those guys who can't concentrate on the written word in a noisy environment. The TV says on while I wander around the house or even if I go outside for yard work since I know I'll only turn it back on when I come back in. Teri doesn't like that so I guess I'll just consider that a female thing. :)
When I go upstairs, he can watch whatever he wants and that is fine. But if he wants me to sit with him and watch or just enjoy his company, the loud TV is actually painful.
Note: When I told him my issues, he did go find his hearing aids. It is nice not have to shout to be heard.
DH almost always has the noise box on (as IL calls it). "For the company" he claims.
I've recently been sick for three weeks, and turned the TV on for two hours that whole time. Watched a show I recorded, while fast forwarding through the commercials. Once the show was watched, the box turned off. Blissful quiet all day long.
Another irritation is the tv must be on for hubby to fall asleep. For some reason the tv doesn't have the sleep.timer function the old one had. Guess who gets woken up to turn it off?
The tv hasn't become an issue, but I think there will be a day when it is problematic - ugh!
rosarugosa
11-6-21, 6:17am
Our TV is unplugged and has only been used once this year to watch a DVD from the library, so the TV isn't a problem in our household. DH is inclined to listen to music more often than I am. I frequently enjoy it, since we do have similar taste in music and it's nice during the day when I am up and doing more active things. I do sometimes find it a distraction when I'm trying to read in the evening, or even worse, at 5 AM when I'm doing coffee and morning internet. I prefer a silent background at those times and agree with IL that the open floorplan concept is not a good one. We don't have an open floorplan, but we do have a very small house.
Imerullo, I wonder if Alexa by Amazon would turn off a TV? We use it to make sure our radio turns off in a certain number of minutes so it does not play music all night.
iris lilies
11-6-21, 9:01am
Since we are talking about ambient noise, I do login to a podcast when doing household chores if I know it will be a 15 minutes+ job. For me, podcasts have replaced radio. We have never listened to music radio, it has always been talk radio.
Yesterday on Science Friday I didn’t listen to the PBS version of Science Friday, I crafted my own menu of choices. I listened to Joe Rogan interview an academic who does research on science of the brain and mindfulness, and then I turned over to Radiolab to listen to a podcast about my uncle, the guy who discovered the age of the earth and found lead and everything.
I've read with some kind of noise source on in the background since I was a child; I tune in and out. But if I have company, I prefer "radio silence." ;)
I've read with some kind of noise source on in the background since I was a child; I tune in and out. But if I have company, I prefer "radio silence." ;)
I actually turn the TV on the minute I enter a hotel room on a business trip, but at home, I prefer "Noises Off." Maybe because the hotel environment is so sterile, and I connect CNN to home.
At this stage, I really don't like competing with ambient sounds for conversation, unless those ambient sounds are birds and/or insects.
I would go insane with the TV on all day. It sometimes goes on in the evening but that's it. Lately, I have been blasting older jazz music while while cooking or doing house chores. My noise rant is the three old men households across the street - every day out come the mowers, blowers and vacuums. Nary a leaf shall taint their lawns. Vacuuming the lawn - how weird is that?
I would go insane with the TV on all day. It sometimes goes on in the evening but that's it. Lately, I have been blasting older jazz music while while cooking or doing house chores. My noise rant is the three old men households across the street - every day out come the mowers, blowers and vacuums. Nary a leaf shall taint their lawns. Vacuuming the lawn - how weird is that?
My absolute nightmare. I'm always happy for a rainy day, but sometimes even that doesn't stop the mower heads around here.
happystuff
11-6-21, 2:38pm
I used to need/want the background noise of the television when I was home alone, but in recent years things have changed and I do appreciate the silence.
ApatheticNoMore
11-9-21, 9:01pm
Well now sibling has an entirely predictable broken bone from an entirely predictable fall (off a chair in this case). I knew this would happen.
I kind of can't believe it actually happened just like I foresaw it. Well I didn't know what they'd fall off (a roof perhaps?), but yea, I knew there would be a fall and injury (if not worse - a death or something). I saw it so many times in my imagination. Most of the things I worry about may never happen anyway. But just like I foresaw, it happened. It's uncanny.
See I told my mom again and again "hire someone to paint the house, it's cheaper than the medical bills" I could not light a fire. So faced with dire necessity sibling was trying to paint the house. And so now come the medical bills I guess. I warned. But family is impossible. Hey I was just saying that on a thread here. Anything you say is always completely ignored. There is no reasoning. There is only fate. And medical bills (but not mine). Hey they could have fell off a roof and died. Fate had to happen, but fate was kind?
happystuff
11-10-21, 11:45am
So sorry your sibling was injured. Hope they heal quickly.
iris lilies
11-10-21, 12:01pm
Oh ANM, this is more that you are going to worry about. I wish you didn’t have to worry about it.
rosarugosa
11-10-21, 2:54pm
I'm so sorry, ANM. Sometimes you would really rather be wrong. Is this your only sibling?
catherine
11-10-21, 2:56pm
I am currently engaged in the Project From Hell. Don't have time to say more, but I've never been more strongly inclined to tell the clients that I'm not the right person for their project.
Argghhh...
I’m sick of cheap people. I have a NYT digital subscription. Pretty good deal at $8/month. Someone I know likes reading the NYT but is too cheap to get a subscription of her own. Keeps asking me to send her article links (subscribers can “gift” articles) so she can read them as she soon goes over the free monthly allotment. This happens daily. After the second day I told her no and to get her own. Pays oodles for multiple streaming services but has this thing about refusing to pay for anything news related.
Fellow employees who are always on their phone/social media. Shessh give it a rest.
Favorite fast food menu options they discontinue. McSkillet Burrito (drop the sausage/red sauce) so good, so discontinued. Taco bell Tostadas. Cheap and tasty for the vegetarian.
Shoppers who change their mind on perishables and just randomly leave them on any shelf.
Customers who just leave their fast food trash at the table and walk away.
Morning TV shows who try and cram a cooking segment in 4 minutes, why bother.
Businesses that want to save postage/paper with an e-statement, yet continue to send me junk mail.
Kind of a rant-y observation in the workplace.
I was asked, last minute, to write a report for a quick study I moderated. I was given the task of writing the report just Tuesday, and I was told the deliverable could be a bulleted summary. I created a 10 page report which included the 2 pages of executive summary they asked for.
So, just got this feedback from the client: "The current deck doesn’t address the 2 page executive summary that highlight’s (sic) all of the themes visually and succinctly."
My exec sum is two pages, with the themes clearly designated in color blocks. I'm quite sure there are no more than 200 words on the two pages.
My rant is the Era of Infographia. I don't mind infographics; in fact, I do find them easy to read. But they take time and energy to do. You have to analyze the content, edit it down to the nuggets, and then figure out how to use color, arrows, icons and blocks of text to get it all done "visually and succinctly."
These two pages I created under a tight timeline would take the reader no more than 5 minutes to process. And it's not a criticism of this particular client--it's just a sign of the times. I have gotten pushback from post-docs who complain about too many words. I'm sure this is a Baby Boomer rant. And I'm sure that this post is already too many words and too few pictures.
iris lilies
12-3-21, 3:44pm
Kind of a rant-y observation in the workplace.
I was asked, last minute, to write a report for a quick study I moderated. I was given the task of writing the report just Tuesday, and I was told the deliverable could be a bulleted summary. I created a 10 page report which included the 2 pages of executive summary they asked for.
So, just got this feedback from the client: "The current deck doesn’t address the 2 page executive summary that highlight’s (sic) all of the themes visually and succinctly."
My exec sum is two pages, with the themes clearly designated in color blocks. I'm quite sure there are no more than 200 words on the two pages.
My rant is the Era of Infographia. I don't mind infographics; in fact, I do find them easy to read. But they take time and energy to do. You have to analyze the content, edit it down to the nuggets, and then figure out how to use color, arrows, icons and blocks of text to get it all done "visually and succinctly."
These two pages I created under a tight timeline would take the reader no more than 5 minutes to process. And it's not a criticism of this particular client--it's just a sign of the times. I have gotten pushback from post-docs who complain about too many words. I'm sure this is a Baby Boomer rant. And I'm sure that this post is already too many words and too few pictures.
4106
4106
haha!!!
Thanks for the meme-ory
Of content that is terse
A sentence is perverse!
And icons spin
A tale that's thin
For better or for worse
How pithy it is!
ToomuchStuff
12-3-21, 11:23pm
Too many words?
Maybe that is why the Egyptians used hieroglyphics?
iris lilies
12-9-21, 1:00pm
I don’t know if this is a rave or a rant.
My city is now starting up a series of citizen information workshops to tell us about what to expect when a homicide occurs in our neighborhood. They talk about how the investigation works, what legal forces are in play, what citizens can do, etc.
I guess it’s good?
Are they expecting the hood rats to go on a rampage or something?
iris lilies
12-9-21, 2:41pm
Are they expecting the hood rats to go on a rampage or something?
I’m not sure what has prompted this information campaign other than being number one or number two or number three in the nation for our homicide rate so…
iris lilies
12-9-21, 3:57pm
Are they expecting the hood rats to go on a rampage or something?
Here’s a thought: maybe they’re just getting too many inquiries from concerned citizens about the mayor’s
squad failing to perform their duties. Maybe they’re just going to give us information such as:
* When you call 911 to report it, 911 only picks up the phone 60% of the time. Keep trying.
* Cops may or may not come right away due to decimated ranks of police officers.
* If the police do come and investigate the homicide, there may not be charges lobbed against parties involved regardless of how egregious the crime or clear their guilt.
* If by some miracle the prosecutors office decides to charge perps, please don’t expect competence from that office.
* Likely any court action against perps will allow them to walk free because prosecutors are incompetent.
* The lesson here is “probably not worth it to bother reporting a homicide, just let the bodies pile up in the street.”
Yah, just kick the bodies to the side and go about your business, it seems like.
rosarugosa
12-17-21, 10:20am
I had posted previously about people who leave their crispy, brown, dead wreaths up for months and months after the holidays. Well the one that remained up as of last week was replaced this week by a new green one, so I guess that is their wreath management system. It makes me wonder if there was a crispy brown fir tree in the living room devoid of needles while I was ranting about the wreath.
I am glad someone else has noticed the brown wreath phenomena. I have visited friends in southern Vermont during sugaring season in late March and there was a noticable trend of brown and golden wreaths still up. I've not seen anything like that around here. One of my theories was that during the winter and spring front doors are not the usual entrance and people instead enter through a mud room, although my friends had no particular theory. One year I left mine up late into the winter and took photos to send to them.
Around here this year many wreaths I saw were already turning at the stores. I don't buy a tree, but the the trees I saw werer at least as bad. I was wondering if it had something to do with a supply chain issue. One of the large tree lots close by had sold out of trees last week. I will try to leav.e my wreath up through January, brown, green or golden.
The work holiday party tonight has not been cancelled. Especially with supercontagious omicron everyone who doesn't live in a cave is going to be exposed to covid - may as well live your life and not cower in fear.
Oops - meant to put this in RAVE.
ApatheticNoMore
12-17-21, 3:46pm
yeppej: secretly snuck away and got a booster but can't admit it to save face. well at least it will probably reduce transmission.
yeppej: secretly snuck away and got a booster but can't admit it to save face. well at least it will probably reduce transmission.
I believe I had covid in late January - early February 2020 and so that combined with my two shots has probably given me what is known as super immunity. I don't feel the need to hog a booster shot that could go to someone who needs a first shot in parts of the world without adequate access to shots. If we all worked towards vaccine equity instead of hogging shots in the first world we wouldn't have all these variants like Delta out of India and Omicron out of South Africa.
My rant today is that not one single neighbor has offered to help us with our windstorm mess. A chain saw would have been very helpful or a few strong bodies to help pull pieces of fence out of the trees.
catherine
12-17-21, 4:36pm
My rant today is that not one single neighbor has offered to help us with our windstorm mess. A chain saw would have been very helpful or a few strong bodies to help pull pieces of fence out of the trees.
Oh, wow. That sucks. I remember after Hurricane Sandy, our neighbor across the street had a tree that fell down. DH offered our chain saw. I think they took us up on it, but really, as it turned out, they mostly got rid of the tree with a butter knife. It took them forever. They're Asian, and they are definitely frugal and resourceful. This septuagenarian couple just hacked away at it for months until it was gone.
iris lilies
12-17-21, 4:43pm
My rant today is that not one single neighbor has offered to help us with our windstorm mess. A chain saw would have been very helpful or a few strong bodies to help pull pieces of fence out of the trees.
That’s too bad. Here when we’ve had a big storm and there are trees down there neighbors out with chainsaws doing helpful work.
I would never expect my neighbors to help me like that - though in the past (after a big ice storm) they have.
rosarugosa
12-17-21, 6:17pm
In my book, work holiday parties belong in the rant dept and cancelled work parties belong in the rave dept.
ApatheticNoMore
12-17-21, 6:26pm
It depends, I've never minded if they were on work time, like end of the day was holiday party rather than working (and that usually comes with go home early after), there have been a few good things, bowling, restaurants. But on my time of evenings and weekends, yea rant.
Pinkytoe, am I understanding the damage - trees down, destroyed neighbouring fence?
Is it possible that such damage would involve home insurance coverage?
In that single situation, would it not be hard to determine if helping is leading to some liability for further damage plus personal injury?
There may be some very rational reasons for not jumping in to help.
Where widespread damage impacts a whole community such as in Kentucky after the tornado, liability and insurance coverage might be viewed differently.
There may be some very rational reasons for not jumping in to help.
A dozen or so years ago a windstorm toppled one of the mature trees on my side of the property line border, just missing the neighbors house. I rushed out as soon as it was safe and began cutting, transporting the cut logs and cleaning up tons of debris. The neighbors thanked me for being so prompt.
A few years ago those neighbors moved and the new owners commissioned a surveyor to establish exact property lines for a new fence they wanted to install. It turns out that tree I worked so hard on wasn't mine.
happystuff
12-17-21, 8:42pm
But it was still a very nice thing for you to do, Alan. Kudos.
happystuff
12-17-21, 8:44pm
Sorry, pinkytoe. Maybe with the coming of the weekend yolks will come out.
We are going to leave some of the mess for the insurance guy to see but just trying to clear paths right now. As I understand it, insurance doesn't pay much for tree removal so that will be out of pocket. I am going to be out several thousand (Maybe much more) either way as I am paying the neighbor's deductible and the removal of our trees. I hope she doesn't sue us or our insurance company if we agree to pay for everything. Our fences are down so not even sure how that will get redone since lumber is expensive and so many fences went down. The whole city is decimated with lost trees (mostly blue spruce). I think many of us are in a state of shock at the ferocity of the wind. And the real windy season doesn't usually start until next year.
frugal-one
12-27-21, 1:04pm
I hate getting up in front of groups of people and also of having my picture taken. I avoid both at all costs (phobia?). It irritates me no end when people try to insist I do either. Actually I would prefer to be invisible. I don’t want recognition. Why is this a big deal to others?
catherine
12-27-21, 11:31pm
We are going to leave some of the mess for the insurance guy to see but just trying to clear paths right now. As I understand it, insurance doesn't pay much for tree removal so that will be out of pocket. I am going to be out several thousand (Maybe much more) either way as I am paying the neighbor's deductible and the removal of our trees. I hope she doesn't sue us or our insurance company if we agree to pay for everything. Our fences are down so not even sure how that will get redone since lumber is expensive and so many fences went down. The whole city is decimated with lost trees (mostly blue spruce). I think many of us are in a state of shock at the ferocity of the wind. And the real windy season doesn't usually start until next year.
OMG, pinkytoe, I had no idea the wind caused so much damage! I'm so sorry. What a nightmare.
iris lilies
12-28-21, 3:57pm
I am steaming right now. How I would love to be snarky and rude to a poster on Nextdoor, but I cannot because I’m a moderator.
A man started a thread about how last night someone kicked in his door while he was asleep. He woke up with the noise grabbed his shotgun went downstairs, cocked the shotgun and pointed it at the intruder. The intruder ran out with his hands up saying “please don’t shoot me.” Over and done.
The jerk I am mad at literally responded to this post saying ”guns never solve any problem, they do not protect people. “And then he became very argumentative about how guns are so bad throughout the thread.
oh my God. Literally, the man who started the thread was the victim of a crime that could have turned dangerous for his person. Literally he scared off the intruder with his gun. In the situation how can anyone claim the gun never solved any situation ever?
It’s a perfect example of why I want to leave the city. It is not the idiots who break into houses, it is the idiots who in the face of reality make posts such as “guns never solve any problem. “I just can’t With these people. That doesn’t mean I think everyone should have a gun. That doesn’t mean even I should have a gun. I’m just saying in this case, game over and win-win with no one hurt, thanks to the presence of a gun used appropriately.
I'm the farthest thing from a gun advocate--I tend to agree firearms usually cause more problems than they solve, and I'd prefer to live in a country mostly free of them, but that said--the homeowner was well within his rights, no one was hurt (hope the perp was caught), and that was an example of a man peacefully protecting himself and his home, as Iris Lily said.
Teacher Terry
12-29-21, 2:05pm
It sounds to me that the gun solved the problem pretty quickly without incident.
Not a rant, just frustration: DH just gave me a bit of a guilt trip over working on this last day of Christmas break. If I don't work today, I have to give up sleep to get everything done--there was an incredible amount of spillover of projects I took on in November/December. So I devoted 3.5 hours to getting a draft report out the door today. DH was complaining "It's SUNDAY!" I didn't complain when he insisted that we go to NJ 3 days this past week to see the kids, even though I knew it would put me behind in my work. Then he invited up DD/DSIL and we spend two days entertaining them for New Years. So I couldn't work those days either.
I try to never complain about domestic issues here, but I'm feeling a bit squeezed on both work and family sides right now. I don't think I'm being unreasonable. The reality is that I'm going to be super busy until I clear my plate of 4 projects first quarter. After that, I hope to really turn down more work. I need to encourage DH to be patient until that time comes. I'm not working for the fun of it.
Catherine, GRRR. Is hubby retired?
Catherine, GRRR. Is hubby retired?
Yes.. not sure if it's common for couples where one is retired and one is not to complain about work/fun divisions, but this does come up from time to time in my house. As a self-employed person, I don't really have 9-5 boundaries, so I often take off on an afternoon, but I also often work on Sundays. That's just the way it goes.
Teacher Terry
1-2-22, 3:36pm
I would tell him what you wrote so he stops complaining.
I would tell him what you wrote so he stops complaining.
I did tell him, and he says he's not pressuring me. He just wants me to be available.
iris lilies
1-2-22, 3:43pm
Catherine I remember when you took on those projects. They are a load!
Catherine I remember when you took on those projects. They are a load!
They are. I'm comfortable with 1.5 project/month, max, 2-2.5. Once I get to 3, it's all-consuming. And now I have 4. But this too shall pass. They always do!
Maybe remind him that if you worked 9-to-5, you would be even less "available" than now! Sorry you are going through this, but as you said - this too shall pass.
Deleted my post as inappropriate in wording. A response to a rant/peeve forum post shouldn't be as snarky as mine was. Besides it is none of my business so my apologies.
Deleted my post as inappropriate in wording. A response to a rant/peeve forum post shouldn't be as snarky as mine was. Besides it is none of my business so my apologies.
I read your post. Sometimes snakiness is warranted. No apologies needed ;)
Teacher Terry
1-2-22, 11:20pm
Ask him does he like to eat or have a roof over his head. Ugh! I think he’s acting spoiled.
"I'm not working for the fun of it" sums it up nicely. He's out of line, IMO.
Not to minimize the unfairness of the situation, but I do think the Christmas holidays are traditionally very stressful for this reason, as the social demands are so much higher than normal. All we did was entertain the kids and grandchildren for one day, and I spent three days cooking! I was muttering a lot in the kitchen for hours. It's just not something I normally have time for because I still work. It was a great day, but still. I can not imagine going down to NJ and then having them come back up for two more days and not getting pretty stressed at being behind. I mean it sounds lovely, but everyone has to understand you are still working, and are actually in an unusually busy time. My sister in law and I were just talking about this, about how tiring it is to have guests come in from out of town.
Catherine: I know you and DH have a strong marriage, that you are both very different, and that most of the time you find that those differences allow you to complement each other. From here, it sounds like you are thoughtful, understanding and respectful of DH's qualities, and that he can often be pretty thoughtless in return. I would have a problem with that.
With that being said, we have a lot of successful long-term relationships here, and I doubt it's because any of us are perfect and have found a partner who is also perfect, so I guess we are people who have learned to take the bad with the good.
Well, we've kissed and made up. He apologized. All good! Thanks for listening!
Of all people, DD reminded me a while back that in marriage "you have to pick your battles." I think another thing to consider is that since Covid many of us have been cooped up with our mates much more than usual (at least I have) and it is easy to get feathers ruffled in that situation.
iris lilies
1-3-22, 7:52pm
Two houses really nice. Just sayin’. :~)
Two houses really nice. Just sayin’. :~)
It worked for us--but a duplex would have been ideal.
Two houses really nice. Just sayin’. :~)
You made me chuckle with this. What are the two of you going to do when both the condo and the Herman property renos are complete and you sit looking at each other wondering, "What do we do now?" Gardening and flower shows will help but there is a lot of down time as well. Just saying...
FYI, been down this road at one point.
ApatheticNoMore
1-3-22, 10:08pm
Yea I thought about what if we lived together, and was like oof, it might not be good, and that was just thinking, nothing more than the idlest of thinking. The trick to staying together is living apart perhaps.
iris lilies
1-4-22, 12:37am
You made me chuckle with this. What are the two of you going to do when both the condo and the Herman property renos are complete and you sit looking at each other wondering, "What do we do now?" Gardening and flower shows will help but there is a lot of down time as well. Just saying...
FYI, been down this road at one point.
we are always busy! DH is REALLY busy as a little Energizer bunny, and me, well,
i am “busy” in my mind. I am pretty lazy, actually.
But that is why we got 1 acre for DH to play around with. Plus there are lots of social things we can do in Hermann. Plus taking a trip to the city every 10 days or so would be good. We shall see.
Teacher Terry
1-4-22, 3:15am
Someone on another forum has been with her partner for 23 years but never lived together. They have houses next to each other.
But that would double the house maintenance work, and be such a time suck. Two of everything to clean, etc.
happystuff
1-4-22, 10:18am
But that would double the house maintenance work, and be such a time suck. Two of everything to clean, etc.
I'm not sure I agree. Each person would clean and maintain their own home. I would still only be cleaning and maintaining one AND it would be my own mess I'm cleaning instead of someone else's. Sometimes there is just something so wrong with having to clean someone else's mess. ;)
I’m back to working out from home due to very high covid numbers here, at least for a few weeks. I have an underdesk cycle for some cardio I use in front of the TV and a variety of dumbbells for weight work. Hadn’t been at gym since beginning of December due to being very busy and away for almost two weeks. Would much prefer to be at gym, but not with the numbers the way they are.
I swear I turned 50 in September and have just slowly started falling apart. :( Nothing too major. Just small annoyances like probably now needing bifocals and more random aches and pains than I had before.
Latest big peeve. Why is it medical establishments do not feel the need to send out any kind of resolution notice. Example, twice we have had serious billing disputes, once with a hospital and once with a lab. Raised the issue, figured out what the problem was, communicated it to the business, and then nothing. I have no idea whether the billing has been resolved. Wonder if in 5 years it will come up again as an unpaid debt. The lab in particular does not give a phone number for contact. All they give is how to make payment information.
Guess it is on me to continue to pester them. I even "demanded" a revised billing from the hospital and they did nothing. In this case, it was clearly their error.
In the case of the lab, we finally figured out we had to have the doctor resubmit a corrected diagnosis code to the lab and Medicare. They used a generic code and it has to be a diagnosis code. No idea if the doctor did it and trying to get a response from anyone (centralized billing for clinic) is a nightmare. No paperwork or electronic info recvd from anyone. Maybe they will tell us when we go to get our new labs. I am going to get a new doctor for the next visit.
Husband would have just paid the bill but several hundred dollars is worth my time.
frugal-one
1-24-22, 3:57pm
We had a new furnace, new roof and all lines buried underground so we would not have to worry about leaving and going south for the winter. We have no family but did ask a friend if there was a problem if he would be able to help. So now our electric with EVERYTHING shut off except the freezer, refrigerator and furnace is using 2 1/2 times more electricity than ever before. Electric company says they have NEVER seen this type of problem with a residence and to call an electrician. We have had one thing after another go wrong. None of which we have control. This is really getting to me. All these people going through our house when we are not there is troubling also.
iris lilies
1-26-22, 2:43pm
So today I am supposed to send a document in “JPD” format to the editor of a publication. I jave no idea about “Jpd.”
When I Google “JPD” I barely get any hits, Mr. google wants to correct my phrase to “JPEG. “There was one set of instructions that told how to convert a Windows 8 or 10 version to JPD, but I’ve got Windows 7.
God I hate transmitting documents. Hate it. While I’m at it, I hate formatting them as well.
That’s my rant for the day.
Winter. The ice was so thick it broke the ice scraper for my car.
ETA Went to check the filters as I have service today. The car is so frozen up I could not get the hood to pop. Could not even see the latch. So I could not check the engine filter. Accessed the cabin filter and some animal has been making a nest in there. Found acorn shells, leaves, etc and the filter itself is chewed up. So they will probably have to open up the engine area to clean that out. And I couldn't even get the glove box back in place. I want to DIY but I am just too incompetent. It is frustrating. I guess I will have to shell out. I think a garage with an impermeable concrete floor would prevent this, but that is way out of my means. A couple years ago DS had a mouse nest in the same area of his car.
iris lilies
2-5-22, 3:22pm
Today’s rant (I actually have 2, will put other one in my Technology thread)
I am being sued along with several other people, family farm drama.
So, today I poked around on the internet to find a very good and clearly written article about how “our side” is swimming against the tide in making our case. Oh joy, how I love paying an attorney to argue against established case law. NOT. $ ca-Ching ca-Ching.
I really enjoy strategizing, five years as a litigation paralegal, I guess. If there any details you can share to help us research strategy, then please feel free to do so!
iris lilies
2-5-22, 4:47pm
I really enjoy strategizing, five years as a litigation paralegal, I guess. If there any details you can share to help us research strategy, then please feel free to do so!
I won’t post details on an open board like this, but I will PM you, just for grins, to kick around the issue. I’m seeing a line in the sand I can draw coming in the near future.
iris lilies
2-5-22, 10:52pm
Tybee your SLN mailbox is full.
Sorry, just fixed it. I hope.
Winter. The ice was so thick it broke the ice scraper for my car.
ETA Went to check the filters as I have service today. The car is so frozen up I could not get the hood to pop. Could not even see the latch. So I could not check the engine filter. Accessed the cabin filter and some animal has been making a nest in there. Found acorn shells, leaves, etc and the filter itself is chewed up. So they will probably have to open up the engine area to clean that out. And I couldn't even get the glove box back in place. I want to DIY but I am just too incompetent. It is frustrating. I guess I will have to shell out. I think a garage with an impermeable concrete floor would prevent this, but that is way out of my means. A couple years ago DS had a mouse nest in the same area of his car.
It's always been a sore spot for me that I cannot even find a good scraper/brush. They all seem to be pieces of crap that are designed to break within a year or two of normal use.
It's always been a sore spot for me that I cannot even find a good scraper/brush. They all seem to be pieces of crap that are designed to break within a year or two of normal use.
I have a telescoping snow brush/scaper that is about 10 years old and great.
You're supposed to run the car as long as needed to melt even a corner of the ice so you can then start scraping it off. If you're too green or too cheap to let your car run, then don't complain about how hard it is to scrape the ice off or your broken scraper.
I have a telescoping snow brush/scaper that is about 10 years old and great.
You're supposed to run the car as long as needed to melt even a corner of the ice so you can then start scrapping it off.
I probably have the same scraper/brush. I bought it several years ago after buying a pickup truck that's tall and wide enough that I simply can't reach the center of the windshield with a standard scraper. It still didn't help me much after Thursday's ice storm which layered about 1/2" of ice on the entire truck, which was then covered with another 2" of frozen sleet and topped with about 4 inches of snow.
When I went out to clean it all off on Saturday, the doors were all frozen shut and it took me quite a bit of scraping to get the majority of the snow and some of the sleet/ice off as well as getting one door open, then I started the engine, set the defroster on high and went back inside to let it do it's work. After about 20 minutes I went back out and was able to open the other three doors although not easily and I hopped inside to turn on wipers. While I was there I tried to lower the drivers side window which simply wouldn't move. Although that didn't keep the electric opener mechanism from moving freely, the window actually separated from the mechanism and remained frozen in place. So now I have all 4 windows and doors defrosted although the drivers window is off it's track, dammit!
iris lilies
2-6-22, 5:42pm
Alan, a rant for sure!
The newbies here in the city are having their cars stolen left and right when they start them to warm them up and then go back into their house. We had three reports on Nextdoor over the past few days. They can’t believe the criminals are out when it’s cold and snowy.
Experienced city criminals know commuter time in the morning is a really good time to patrol dense city neighborhoods and find the cars running with no one inside.
Alan, a rant for sure!
The newbies here in the city are having their cars stolen left and right when they start them to warm them up and then go back into their house. We had three reports on Nextdoor over the past few days. They can’t believe the criminals are out when it’s cold and snowy.
Experienced city criminals no commuter time in the morning is a really good time to patrol dense city neighborhoods and find the cars running with no one inside.
Haha. Idiots! You sit in your car and play on your phone or listen to the radio while the windows are defrosting. Anyone who leaves their car running without anyone in it deserves to get their car stolen. Stupid is as stupid does.
Experienced city criminals no commuter time in the morning is a really good time to patrol dense city neighborhoods and find the cars running with no one inside.
I'm in a rural area and even I take the key back inside when I warm up the car. The key just needs to be in close proximity to start, but not to run. They can steal my car, but once they turn off the ignition they'd be screwed.
Funny (not to spouse) story: I usually keep my car key in my jacket pocket. Early on with this car, we went to the airport to pick up my nephew. Spouse dropped me off, so I could be at the gate and call when we needed to be picked up to avoid the high parking charge. Spouse went down the road and parked in some random lot, and the business wanted him to move his car but I had the key and we didn't realize that. He calls on my cell to tell me that, but I can't do anything about that because he has the car, not me.
Luckily he was next to a car rental lot, so pretended he was a customer and got on their shuttle bus for a ride back to the airport to retrieve the key. And a different shuttle bus to get back to his car. We now make sure the driver has the physical key.
cars stolen left and right
Ditto here. I just read that our state has the highest auto theft in the nation. Why Colorado I wonder?
iris lilies
2-6-22, 7:55pm
herbgeek, I have yet to figure out why the keyless ignition helps me in my life. So far it is a negative.
Usually car theft is for trendy that are in demand overseas whole or for parts - that is what I am reading. What kinds of autos are trendy in Colorado?
Subarus mostly. I read that many cars are stolen to be used in crimes and then abandoned. Theft of catalytic converters is huge too.
Subarus mostly. I read that many cars are stolen to be used in crimes and then abandoned. Theft of catalytic converters is huge too.
A sibling had a catalytic converter stolen out of a Prius a couple weeks back. Insurance considered the car "totaled".
iris lilies
2-6-22, 9:16pm
Here, they will take any car they can grab in an opportunity. Some models are easy to start up.
I told the story several times here of one middle aged station: I didn’t put the club on it one day and it was unlocked. That was two opportunities for thieves, so they took it. They just drove it around and dropped it at a neighborhood bordering ours. Since we knew that was the MO of most of these thieves, DH drove the streets around our area every time he went someplace, taking a different route each time. Sure enough, he spotted it.
We had to call the cops to tell them we had found it because we didn’t want to be driving around with a car that was reported stolen. They sent out their team that gets cars started for people, only that team was unable to get it started. So once again DH was a hero, he went home and got his tools, came back and started up the car. The thieves had wrecked the steering column.
I love my garage for just that reason but few apartments or condos around here include secure parking.
iris lilies
2-6-22, 10:21pm
I love my garage for just that reason but few apartments or condos around here include secure parking.
Our neighborhood’s insurance rates go down when someone has a garage.
We have two garages in the city but still we have more vehicles than vehicle spaces.
Some freezing rain overnight so I had some ice on my car when I left for work. Ran the car for 10 minutes with me in it and I didn’t even have to scrape.
Work smarter, not harder.
Some freezing rain overnight so I had some ice on my car when I left for work. Ran the car for 10 minutes with me in it and I didn’t even have to scrape.
Work smarter, not harder.
I did the same thing this morning but for a semi different reason. I had frost on my windows but the reason I didn't scrape them was because I had just thrown something out in our trash can and there was something inside the can (probably a raccoon). I tossed the bag in and immediately heard a bunch of commotion going on inside the can so I closed the lid quickly and ran to my car. No way was I going back out and grab the scraper and scrape my windows. Our garage light doesn't always work even though it's motion sensor so I couldn't see what was inside the can (nor did I really want to :))
Teacher Terry
2-9-22, 2:10pm
Yesterday I managed to drop my ceramic coaster on my favorite dog water bowl breaking it. When I picked up the bowl a piece of ceramic lodged in my thumb and was bleeding a lot right as I should have been leaving for the dentist. I had 3 layers of bandages on before it quit bleeding through. Today I take out my favorite polish pottery coffee mug , fill it with coffee and microwave. Taking it out of the microwave I drop it breaking the cup and making a big mess. The only good thing is that I dropped it on the countertop versus my new glass top stove. I can go years without breaking stuff. Ugh!
Ouch, tt! Hopefully your are done for the next couple of years!
iris lilies
2-9-22, 3:43pm
Naw, she has to drop one more thing. Trouble comes in 3’s. Hop to it, TT! Get it all over and done with!
Teacher Terry
2-10-22, 1:45am
IL, you are right that one more thing will probably bite the dust:)).
In today's episode of "My Boss Is An Idiot"...
Officer comes in and asks him how to package a gun and some ammo that was found. I am sitting nearby at my desk listening. Boss gets the gun packaging instructions right but completely messes up the ammo. He told the Officer to take the ammo out of the magazine and package separately. Then tells the Officer to put a spent casing in with the unused ammo. The correct response should have been.... keep the ammo in the magazine as it is safer contained rather than being able to roll around in an envelope. Then package the casing separately as it will be going to the State Lab for analysis.
Boss is a Sergeant and makes over $100,000 a year. I am but a peon yet somehow I know proper Police procedures and he doesn't. Ugh!!!
I hate how much paper I waste at work. There’s no away around it. Every day I have to do a report and then attach the first page of a document to it for accounting. There is no way of knowing how many pages the documents I attach are going to be, so I can’t just print the first page. There is no way to do this paperless. I’ve asked and was absolutely refused. Drives me nuts.
iris lilies
2-25-22, 11:47am
So, we are less than 3 months away from a regional plant society conference that has a national reach.
No information has been distributed. I wouldn't even know the exact dates of this conference if an outlier hadn’t sent email to everyone in our local group (who are expected to pull this off) mentioning the dates. The national organization has published nothing. The regional organization sponsoring the conference has published nothing.
yet, I know it is going forward. Dearest organizers, Please tell us how we are to participate if we cant even get it onto our calendars in THE busiest months of the gardening season?
IL, that is so frustrating. Does someone need to stir the pot as it may be a case of "I thought that you were doing that; no, no that was your job"?
iris lilies
2-25-22, 3:28pm
IL, that is so frustrating. Does someone need to stir the pot as it may be a case of "I thought that you were doing that; no, no that was your job"?
In recent years I have volunteered to take on “programming” of this organization for the sole purpose of getting the events calendar distributed in a timely way. Sometimes it worked.
For this upcoming conference, planning originally started in 2018. Iris plants have to be obtained from hybridizers to plant in “guest” gardens so that they would be fully mature by May 2020, the original date of the conference.
Covid killed the 2020 conference, and sadly, the past two years have brought cancer and disease and death to FOUR key people who had jobs assigned. But the core group is putting their heads down to charge through carrying out the entire big package of bus tours, lunches and dinners, meetings, etc. as initially planned, plus we are still inviting one of the national iris groups, the biggest one, to attend. I think it is madness, but then, I didnt attend the initial planning meetings because I didnt want to waste my time. I volunteered to be Registrar, a major job, and they didnt take me up on that.
there isnt much else I am willing to do for these conferences since I think so much of it is unnecessary. Already it looks as though I will be attending 3 major conferences this year and I am plotting my escape from the interminable banquet dinners where yacking at the podium goes on and on.
Our garden club is still trying to recover from the pandemic. And the December windstorm that devastated their community gardens.
iris lilies
3-11-22, 1:04pm
Our family partition lawsuit continues on. It just got a re-start since a major party who had not been served with court summons returned from long term vacation and so can now be served.
I had phone call with this party and clearly communicated:
1) I aint happy being a defendant in a lawsuit when I agree with the plantiff
2) no money will be coming from the Irislilies household coffers to pay an attorney—any share DH is expected to cough up will come from his personal funds (his IRA)
3) I want to see the property sold NOW not in some fantasy future
My name is on the deed which is why I am included in this bullshit.
Teacher Terry
3-11-22, 1:18pm
A family lawsuit is never good. Always a shame to fight over money.
iris lilies
3-11-22, 1:23pm
A family lawsuit is never good. Always a shame to fight over money.
oh honey, it is FAR less tangible than money which is why it is ridiculous as well as impossible to quantify.
It is about Feelings, Daddy wanted, small farms dying, fairness, family farm, little brother wants, feelings, emo emo, …blech.
so much bullshit. In today’s phone call it was clarified: I have clear legal standing here
because my name is on the deed, so that gives me a clear signal for a path forward.
rosarugosa
3-11-22, 4:50pm
A mockingbird has taken over our yard. We've always had mockingbirds, and I've always enjoyed them, but not Evil Bully Mockingbird! None of the other birds are allowed to go to the feeder, to get a drink, or to even go into the tree where the feeder hangs. I never thought I would find myself wanting to kill a mockingbird - ha!
I've hung another feeder some distance away that is working well for the little birds, but the cardinals won't use that feeder. I've got another somewhat makeshift feeder for the cardinals but they haven't gone to it. I've never been so angry at a bird before!
A mockingbird has taken over our yard. We've always had mockingbirds, and I've always enjoyed them, but not Evil Bully Mockingbird! None of the other birds are allowed to go to the feeder, to get a drink, or to even go into the tree where the feeder hangs. I never thought I would find myself wanting to kill a mockingbird - ha!
I've hung another feeder some distance away that is working well for the little birds, but the cardinals won't use that feeder. I've got another somewhat makeshift feeder for the cardinals but they haven't gone to it. I've never been so angry at a bird before!
What do think might have lead to this bullying tactic? Ego? Impress a mate? Just feeling feisty? Repeating past actions? Give the bird some needed therapy?:devil:
rosarugosa
3-11-22, 6:34pm
Razz: When I googled, I learned that they often engage in this kind of behavior when there is a nest nearby and others get too close to the nest, but I'm only observing the behavior when others approach the food or water resources, and there is not a nest in that immediate vicinity. My best guess is that the bird is planning to set up housekeeping in our little Garden of Eden and doesn't want to share the resources. It's funny too, because mockingbirds don't tend to frequent our feeders; they go more for the berries we grow on the other side of our house.
I'd just amplify what you're already doing, and supply multiple food and water stations. The little hoarder can only be in one place at a time.
Our family partition lawsuit continues on. It just got a re-start since a major party who had not been served with court summons returned from long term vacation and so can now be served.
I had phone call with this party and clearly communicated:
1) I aint happy being a defendant in a lawsuit when I agree with the plantiff
2) no money will be coming from the Irislilies household coffers to pay an attorney—any share DH is expected to cough up will come from his personal funds (his IRA)
3) I want to see the property sold NOW not in some fantasy future
My name is on the deed which is why I am included in this bullshit.
If you want it sold, can't you force a partition sale if you are on the deed?
And I agree, these things are never about money but about feelings and family dynamics, very sad, really. Sorry you are all going through this, once it goes to court, it seems like the family is over.
iris lilies
3-12-22, 11:24am
If you want it sold, can't you force a partition sale if you are on the deed?
And I agree, these things are never about money but about feelings and family dynamics, very sad, really. Sorry you are all going through this, once it goes to court, it seems like the family is over.
”could” sure by joining the sibling who brings the lawsuit. But that has non-financial consequences as in pretty risky for my marriage since DH is opposed to my point of view.
But first things first — I have to find out if I really am on the deed. I have a vague memory of signing some thing months ago, but don’t really remember. The executor of the estate said I’m on the deed. DH says I’m not. So, after more than 10 weeks since we were served with court summons I still don’t understand some basic things. If I’m on the deed I have authority to act. If I’m not on the deed, well, my legal interest in the property is much murkier.
ToomuchStuff
3-12-22, 11:53am
Iris.
How do the property taxes work? When my mom was on my grandmothers house, her name was also listed on the property taxes.
Could you find out if your on it from the taxes via a online search?
iris lilies
3-12-22, 1:07pm
Iris.
How do the property taxes work? When my mom was on my grandmothers house, her name was also listed on the property taxes.
Could you find out if your on it from the taxes via a online search?
tomorrow I’m going to talk to the sibling who is handling all of this and ask her to either 1) contact the attorney to give me a clear written paragraph about my legal relationship to this property or 2) I will get her permission to call the attorney who is supposedly representing me and others.
I don’t know that property records would be updated yet. See, part of the problem is that Covid slowed everything down in the closing of this estate, and then a tiny 10 acre parcel was discovered that hadn’t been part of the estate closing, and then one person got sick with cancer, and then another person got sick with cancer, and blah blah blah.
Of course what is happening is it all the siblings are getting older, getting sick, slowing the whole process of coming to closure on a
ANYTHING And why they can’t see that this situation will not only get worse as we march ahead in time is beyond me.
ToomuchStuff
3-12-22, 1:50pm
Of course what is happening is it all the siblings are getting older, getting sick, slowing the whole process of coming to closure on a
ANYTHING And why they can’t see that this situation will not only get worse as we march ahead in time is beyond me.
I can certainly give you an example.
While the judge hadn't officially signed off on my late bosses estate (making sure all the medical bills were done, lawyer got covid at least once), all were in agreement on the vehicle that had been a problem and the judge gave the all clear on it.
The car belonged to a coworker and the gal that helped him. She had medical training and when we met her, had just divorced from her spouse (long story there) and was dealing with her kids drug issues. Because of her ex's stuff (stole her identity, a lot of fraud to "her" name), she was having issues paying the taxes on it. She discussed it all with him and asked if he would be willing to have his name as well on the title, so she could pay the taxes/keep licensed, etc. On a drunken Thursday, he took the title up and put just his name on it, instead of both, with no TOD. She was freaked out by his death, then more so about "losing her car", while the family only knew what the car was listed as. She didn't want them to see it. I had to step in and explain to both, what it was, wasn't and would take to get where all would like it to be (not cost effective). We had discussed this earlier as her goal then became a restomod.
Anyways, she got the title back and was told to get it transfered. A week after my bosses estate was settled, she hadn't done it yet, and passed suddenly.
So now I am being asked to help deal with it again.
iris lilies
3-12-22, 2:02pm
I can certainly give you an example.
While the judge hadn't officially signed off on my late bosses estate (making sure all the medical bills were done, lawyer got covid at least once), all were in agreement on the vehicle that had been a problem and the judge gave the all clear on it.
The car belonged to a coworker and the gal that helped him. She had medical training and when we met her, had just divorced from her spouse (long story there) and was dealing with her kids drug issues. Because of her ex's stuff (stole her identity, a lot of fraud to "her" name), she was having issues paying the taxes on it. She discussed it all with him and asked if he would be willing to have his name as well on the title, so she could pay the taxes/keep licensed, etc. On a drunken Thursday, he took the title up and put just his name on it, instead of both, with no TOD. She was freaked out by his death, then more so about "losing her car", while the family only knew what the car was listed as. She didn't want them to see it. I had to step in and explain to both, what it was, wasn't and would take to get where all would like it to be (not cost effective). We had discussed this earlier as her goal then became a restomod.
Anyways, she got the title back and was told to get it transfered. A week after my bosses estate was settled, she hadn't done it yet, and passed suddenly.
So now I am being asked to help deal with it again.
srgh! Cars! Honestly, I think the average car is more trouble to deal with than the average real estate action action. At least I know with our real estate transactions we use a real estate agent who smoothly guides us through every step. With the cars I’m on my own.
iris lilies
3-13-22, 4:45pm
Update on my family farm situation: when I talked to the inlaws managing this thing I said: Look. Either I am on the deed or I am not. You say I am. DH says I am not. Which is it?
Well, maybe not he said. He will be checking county recorder’s office next week for me on that fact since he said the attorney wouldn’t be able to answer that. (! Ummm, ok.remind me not to hire this attorney, if this is true.)
This isn’t conventional residential address that anyone can look up to establish ownership. I don't know how farms with multiple parcels are listed in property records, and yes, I do have the multiple legal description as long as my arm. This is too complex for my web sleuthing skills.
Quite a mess, IL, when things are so confused that no one seems to have a solid handle on it. It must be frustrating.
happystuff
3-13-22, 5:53pm
Hope you get some answers soon, IL.
iris lilies
3-13-22, 7:21pm
Hope you get some answers soon, IL.
i’m hoping that the deed reveals I am not, in fact, on it. That means, in my little mind, that I have no authority or responsibility for it outside of any marital property interest. But marital property interest is not direct ownership, big difference in my mind.
i’m hoping that the deed reveals I am not, in fact, on it. That means, in my little mind, that I have no authority or responsibility for it outside of any marital property interest. But marital property interest is not direct ownership, big difference in my mind.
The deed situation on my mom's inherited commercial property was so complicated that they hired a lawyer to do curative work on the title. It was very cheap, around 250 dollars, and now there is a new title filed with the county.
The deed situation on my mom's inherited commercial property was so complicated that they hired a lawyer to do curative work on the title. It was very cheap, around 250 dollars, and now there is a new title filed with the county.
In Maine, all the deeds are online, for every county. I have spent hours researching titles on properties we have looked at, and it's easy to work with. But not all states are like taht.
iris lilies
3-14-22, 10:11am
In Maine, all the deeds are online, for every county. I have spent hours researching titles on properties we have looked at, and it's easy to work with. But not all states are like taht.
Oh yeah Humboldt County has ownership records, but as I said above, I have no idea how to get into that database with a legal description. If these properties even have a conventional address I would not know what it is.
It sounds like the most important thing for you is whether or not you are on the title anywhere. Or titles, if these are multiple parcels titled separately.
ToomuchStuff
3-14-22, 10:33am
Oh yeah Humboldt County has ownership records, but as I said above, I have no idea how to get into that database with a legal description. If these properties even have a conventional address I would not know what it is.
In my system, you don't need to know the parcel number. You can find out by using the owners name as well to search property records. Name brings up both personal and real, and my boss once had me do it to get someones mailing address, he lost. (friend with a unique name)
Seems a bit stalkerish, but allowed his present to get there on time.
I would start with the deceased, as older records/receipts could be in the description and give you the numbers needed.
I keep thinking this saga shows how important it is get a clear title registered whether young or old.
ToomuchStuff
3-14-22, 10:36am
Oh yeah Humboldt County has ownership records,
Which state?
iris lilies
3-14-22, 10:38am
Which state?iowa.
Well I’m not sure the owners name? Because there are multiple owners. Maybe I will plunge in and try one of those names though and see what happens.
iowa.
Well I’m not sure the owners name? Because there are multiple owners. Maybe I will plunge in and try one of those names though and see what happens.
Start with your own name and then with your dh's name. In Maine, if you are on the title, your name will show up on the computer search, no matter the order.
iris lilies
3-14-22, 11:31am
Start with your own name and then with your dh's name. In Maine, if you are on the title, your name will show up on the computer search, no matter the order.
Thanks for the encouragement you guys.
I did plunge in—with the urging of those here—to search my brother-in-law‘s name. The land parcels came up in the search for his name. When I looked at the summary record for each parcel, it shows all five siblings, DH and his 4 siblings, on the deed.
Spouses like me are not listed on the deed. Outstanding issue solved. I am probably being sued along with the other spouses because of our marital interest in this property.
Since I have no authority or direct responsibility for this property, I’m not gonna worry about it. I’m going to go back to my original mindset about this family issue which is “not my circus, not my monkeys, I can have an opinion but it doesn’t matter.”
My opinion is that DH and his siblings are devaluing a significant asset by breaking up land. In my opinion, every parcel that is removed from this family farm devalues the rest of it because much value is in adjacent pieces. How much is being devalued I do not know, that’s intangible and there’s no way I could put a price on it. As it currently stands, for those who are curious, our household’s share is worth $250,000 according to the last appraisal.
but if DH wants to devalue his asset for emotional reasons, he gets to do that. It is his asset. As I previously stated he will not be using any of our joint funds however to pay an attorney or any court costs. Those bills will have to come out of his IRA. Our joint funds ARE my circus, my monkeys.
Hopefully, there are no mineral rights involved.
A friend back in Tx went through something like this and it took two years of wrangling between family members and lawyers to settle. Eventually, the whole parcel sold to a Mennonite family who are farming it once again.
I don't know, having read this:
https://www.kdvlaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Real-Estate-Law-Partition-Action-FINAL.pdf
and wondering if what you have here is a partition action, then I personally would consult a lawyer since you are named on the lawsuit. Even lienholders get named on these actions. So I'd consult a lawyer to protect me, as opposed to thinking their lawyer would protect me.
iris lilies
3-14-22, 12:30pm
I don't know, having read this:
https://www.kdvlaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Real-Estate-Law-Partition-Action-FINAL.pdf
and wondering if what you have here is a partition action, then I personally would consult a lawyer since you are named on the lawsuit. Even lienholders get named on these actions. So I'd consult a lawyer to protect me, as opposed to thinking their lawyer would protect me.
Yes it’s a partition lawsuit. But what do I have to “ lose” in this action?
I would think that if I really have something to lose, I can dispense with any risk by signing a quit claim deed which gets me out of any interest in the property. I think. I’m not willing to do that though.
Yes it’s a partition lawsuit. But what do I have to “ lose” in this action?
I would think that if I really have something to lose, I can dispense with any risk by signing a quit claim deed which gets me out of any interest in the property. I think. I’m not willing to do that though.
Makes sense.
ToomuchStuff
3-15-22, 12:42am
My opinion is that DH and his siblings are devaluing a significant asset by breaking up land. In my opinion, every parcel that is removed from this family farm devalues the rest of it because much value is in adjacent pieces. How much is being devalued I do not know, that’s intangible and there’s no way I could put a price on it. As it currently stands, for those who are curious, our household’s share is worth $250,000 according to today’s farm prices.
Benefits of breaking up the land............
You don't have to keep badgering that one relative for their part of the property taxes, while everyone else has to cover it.
You have clear ownership, without family hindrance on, do you want to build, farm, hunt, orchards, tree farm, etc. You can give permission or restrict family from coming onto the property, where you can't, if it is joint.
Uhm, what were the negatives?
Since I have no authority or direct responsibility for this property, I’m not gonna worry about it. I’m going to go back to my original mindset about this family issue which is “not my circus, not my monkeys, I can have an opinion but it doesn’t matter.”
My opinion is that DH and his siblings are devaluing a significant asset by breaking up land. In my opinion, every parcel that is removed from this family farm devalues the rest of it because much value is in adjacent pieces. How much is being devalued I do not know, that’s intangible and there’s no way I could put a price on it. As it currently stands, for those who are curious, our household’s share is worth $250,000 according to today’s farm prices.
but if DH wants to devalue his asset for emotional reasons, he gets to do that. It is his asset. As I previously stated he will not be using any of our joint funds however to pay an attorney or any court costs. Those bills will have to come out of his IRA. Our joint funds ARE my circus, my monkeys.
So, why do they want to break up the land? Autonomy? Cash-out? How much land does each person get? At $250k, is that enough land for a small farm? Would partitioning it make it vulnerable to a sibling selling to a developer? Just curious.
iris lilies
3-15-22, 8:43am
Benefits of breaking up the land............
You don't have to keep badgering that one relative for their part of the property taxes, while everyone else has to cover it.
You have clear ownership, without family hindrance on, do you want to build, farm, hunt, orchards, tree farm, etc. You can give permission or restrict family from coming onto the property, where you can't, if it is joint.
Uhm, what were the negatives?
haha, Well, to answer your specific points: this is prime Iowa farmland going for nearly $10,000/acre. No one is going to hunt or build on it. The part with the house and out buildings and a couple acres was already sliced off and sold to the youngest brother, it was low in value.
The reason for not breaking up the land that I could justify is that every time you pull a piece of it out, that devalues the rest of it.
Farmland is up something like 20% over a year ago because corn is high.
but overall the sibling who is suing does not want to be in partnership with her other siblings and I don’t really blame her actually. Even though she likes provoking conflict and etc., there is no reason to continue this farm as a family business. It is about feelings, emotions, more feelings and more emotions. Logic doesn’t enter into it.
iris lilies
3-15-22, 8:53am
So, why do they want to break up the land? Autonomy? Cash-out? How much land does each person get? At $250k, is that enough land for a small farm? Would partitioning it make it vulnerable to a sibling selling to a developer? Just curious.
Much answered above to Toomuchstuff, but any parcel sliced out by a judge as a result of this lawsuit, a $250,00 slice, is nowhere near enough for one’s person’s farm. And it is not “hobby farm” parcel due to road access, far away from any city of size, and basically just too valuable for hobby farm foolishness.
But that isn’t how this stuff happens anyway, it is common for a slice of land to be annexed to a nearby farm usually corporate owned.
But that isn’t how this stuff happens anyway, it is common for a slice of land to be annexed to a nearby farm usually corporate owned.
Yuck. I hope it works out for the family in the best possible way.
Much answered above to Toomuchstuff, but any parcel sliced out by a judge as a result of this lawsuit, a $250,00 slice, is nowhere near enough for one’s person’s farm. And it is not “hobby farm” parcel due to road access, far away from any city of size, and basically just too valuable for hobby farm foolishness.
But that isn’t how this stuff happens anyway, it is common for a slice of land to be annexed to a nearby farm usually corporate owned.
So what would you like to see happen to the land as a whole? The house and outbuildings and a couple of acres sold to the brother--if the land is sold to a corporate owned conglomerate, then he has no place to farm anymore, right? Wasn't he farming it for years and still is, but now the farm is a family business? Or do I have that right?
iris lilies
3-15-22, 11:19am
So what would you like to see happen to the land as a whole? The house and outbuildings and a couple of acres sold to the brother--if the land is sold to a corporate owned conglomerate, then he has no place to farm anymore, right? Wasn't he farming it for years and still is, but now the farm is a family business? Or do I have that right?
I do not care what happens to it. It is an income producing asset. It is not a Century farm that spent centuries in this family, DH’s parents bought it several decades ago. Had DH’s mother lived after their father she definitely would have sold it and gone to Switzerland, that was her stated plan.
the brother has a full time business that is NOT farming. His father already fed him a lot of stuff and $$$ in free equipment and outright loans that we assume were never repaid. The brother got the homestead (which he doesnt even live in…it is vacant) for an entirely reasonable price. The brother is 50+ years old and on his second round of cancer treatment for serious stuff. He “got his” more-than fair share. He uses the homestead for goats and to store farm equipment.
oh yes “corporate” farming is bad so bad, yawn. Whether it’s my father-in-law’s own operation or the corporate guys, they all use large swaths of agrichemicals and grow the same stuff. The distinction is not of interest to me.
Here's my family's centennial farm:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_and_Anne_Atmore_Bryant_Farmstead
catherine
3-15-22, 12:24pm
Here's my family's centennial farm:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_and_Anne_Atmore_Bryant_Farmstead
Very cool, Tybee!
happystuff
3-15-22, 12:44pm
Neat, Tybee!
Teacher Terry
3-15-22, 12:50pm
It’s beautiful Tybee!
iris lilies
3-15-22, 1:52pm
Here's my family's centennial farm:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_and_Anne_Atmore_Bryant_Farmstead
That is very cool, and if that was what DH had in his family I guarantee you we would be living there. And I would be chief of the “we will be keeping and preserving this property” brigade.
That is very cool, and if that was what DH had in his family I guarantee you we would be living there. And I would be chief of the “we will be keeping and preserving this property” brigade.
Haha, I know you would, with your love of history. I do know that he had his sons help him and he put stone walls around the whole 160 acres. And when my grandmother was taken to see it as a little girl, as James Bryant was her grandfather, she was born in Iowa and she said, "It was the most beautiful place she had ever seen in her life" and her Uncle Myron took her riding on a horse drawn sleigh in the snow.
rosarugosa
3-15-22, 3:17pm
Tybee: that is a great piece of history to have in your family!
I got a squirt gun today so I can roust the enemy mockingbird! I can be the crazy lady in the neighborhood doing battle with a bird. I told DH I feel like Lauren Boebert with my fancy new tactical weapon! :laff:
happystuff
3-15-22, 7:42pm
Go get 'em, rr!!!
Tybee: that is a great piece of history to have in your family!
I got a squirt gun today so I can roust the enemy mockingbird! I can be the crazy lady in the neighborhood doing battle with a bird. I told DH I feel like Lauren Boebert with my fancy new tactical weapon! :laff:
Please report on the success of this war. Curious on how good your aim is with the squirt gun.
I too would be interested in a report on the squirt gun...Our battle is with them and sparrows!
happystuff
3-18-22, 11:03am
Just curious, rr. Did you get a Super Soaker? Some of those have a very long range.
The suspense is killing. Report please!
rosarugosa
3-18-22, 3:48pm
Squirt gun update: I definitely should have gone for bigger and badder! I've certainly been able to annoy the little sucker, but he can always fly out of my reach and eventually comes back. It's certainly been entertaining though!
I do have two small feeding stations set up on the other side of the house that he isn't bothering, so I guess that's my real workaround for now.
iris lilies
3-18-22, 4:28pm
Squirt gun update: I definitely should have gone for bigger and badder! I've certainly been able to annoy the little sucker, but he can always fly out of my reach and eventually comes back. It's certainly been entertaining though!
I do have two small feeding stations set up on the other side of the house that he isn't bothering, so I guess that's my real workaround for now.
The bird may well prevail in your battle with him simply because he has what all other animals have: all the time in the world. All the annoying animal habits are exercised by them 24 hours a day. You can’t sit out there with your squirt gun for 24 hours a day. He’s a smart bird and after a bit he will learn that if you’re not sitting out where he can see you, your yard is safe for him to come into.
rosarugosa
3-18-22, 6:22pm
The bird may well prevail in your battle of him simply because he has what all other animals have: all the time in the world. All the annoying animal habits are exercise by them 24 hours a day. You can’t sit out there with your squirt on 24 hours a day. He’s a smart bird and after a bit he will learn that if you’re not sitting out where he can see you, your yard is safe for him to come into.
Yes, it has already occurred to me that he can make this his life's work, and I'm certainly not goin to let it become mine!
happystuff
3-18-22, 6:26pm
Well, you have certainly created an interesting connection/interaction with nature, rr. :)
Yes, it has already occurred to me that he can make this his life's work, and I'm certainly not goin to let it become mine!
But this may change once the nest is built, followed by the eggs then the baby chicks need food and support. Keep us posted please.:D
rosarugosa
3-19-22, 6:51am
But this may change once the nest is built, followed by the eggs then the baby chicks need food and support. Keep us posted please.:D
Will do, and I have read that this behavior (apparently not uncommon) only lasts for a finite time, so I think you're right, Razz.
Teacher Terry
3-19-22, 2:57pm
My past experience has been in man vs beast matters the beast always wins. Even in my own house:)).
iris lilies
3-19-22, 3:48pm
My past experience has been in man vs beast matters the beast always wins. Even in my own house:)).
They are all tyrants!
People who drive manual transmissions and then let their car slowly roll back when stopped at a light. Guy this morning let his keep rolling back. I was originally probably 10ft behind him. He nearly hit my front bumper. I was hitting my horn and his car just kept rolling back. Finally stopped. I saw him do that to other cars on the rest of the commute. I hate people
iris lilies
4-6-22, 2:47pm
People who drive manual transmissions and then let their car slowly roll back when stopped at a light. Guy this morning let his keep rolling back. I was originally probably 10ft behind him. He nearly hit my front bumper. I was hitting my horn and his car just kept rolling back. Finally stopped. I saw him do that to other cars on the rest of the commute. I hate people
I reeeeeeally debated long and hard with myself about getting a manual transmission for my zippy red car because it is not a true sports car with an automatic transmission. But then, I thought about all of the hills in Hermann. I would often be parking on a hill. Decided against it.
And now that our Herman garage and driveway has been built, there’s a little hill and a dip, that I constantly have to back out of. With automatic transmissions I don’t have to worry about the rollback problem.
I reeeeeeally debated long and hard with myself about getting a manual transmission for my zippy red car because it is not a true sports car with an automatic transmission. But then, I thought about all of the hills in Hermann. I would often be parking on a hill. Decided against it.
And now that our Herman garage and driveway has been built, there’s a little hill and a dip, that I constantly have to back out of. With automatic transmissions I don’t have to worry about the rollback problem.
The rolling back I saw was on flat pavement. No hill. Guy was being an asshole.
I just realized that I owe you guys a mockingbird update. The squirt gun thing got old really fast, and it wasn't all that effective, because the bird could always just fly out of my range. It did provide my husband with much amusement to watch me in action though, so that's something, lol. I ended up buying another feeder and setting it up on the other side of my house. The mockingbird either realized he could not defend both feeders effectively, or did not feel the need since resources were more plentiful, but he is acting like just another backyard bird again.
early morning
4-7-22, 2:24pm
The rolling back I saw was on flat pavement. No hill. Guy was being an asshole. If car was rolling, there was an incline. I've driven a manual trans for 50 years. They don't roll back on a flat w/o a push... That said, I can't imagine why anyone would WANT to roll back into someone. The way bumpers are constructed, he's just as apt to get a dent as you are, I'd think. Hills - that's a different story, lol. IL, I think you made a good call with having a Hermann-friendly zippy car!
If car was rolling, there was an incline. I've driven a manual trans for 50 years. They don't roll back on a flat w/o a push... That said, I can't imagine why anyone would WANT to roll back into someone. The way bumpers are constructed, he's just as apt to get a dent as you are, I'd think. Hills - that's a different story, lol. IL, I think you made a good call with having a Hermann-friendly zippy car!
In the years I drove a VW bug, I developed "hillphobia" after a few rollback experiences, to the extent that I gradually came to avoid anything resembling one. As my father noted "manual transmissions seem like a step backwards at this point." Father knows best
In the years I drove a VW bug, I developed "hillphobia" after a few rollback experiences, to the extent that I gradually came to avoid anything resembling one. As my father noted "manual transmissions seem like a step backwards at this point." Father knows best
We've been a manual transmission family for most of our adult lives, well our prior adult lives anyway. My wife is a new Beetle fanatic, currently on her 4th one and disappointed that they've now been discontinued. We've both struggled with smoothly starting again after stopping on an incline and its especially frustrating on a motorcycle. That's one of the reasons we both have automatics now, we're getting too old to coordinate both legs at the same time.
ToomuchStuff
4-7-22, 9:54pm
Manuals are fun, and if I could ever get enough time off to do it, I'd like to get my old VW up and going. I view them as a more fun for a little drive around town, errands car and the automatics, more of a long distance/highway vehicle.
People used to tell me how much fun they were to drive, and I looked at them as if they had two heads. Cars have always been only transportation to me.
happystuff
4-7-22, 10:37pm
First car I ever owned was a VW beetle. Loved it!
Our 20 year old truck is manual transmission. Our 2007 Focus is our first automatic transmission car. I will never go back to manual. Having learned to drive in Pittsburgh with a stick shift...before gears were synchronized...I was GOOD at not rolling back, but I never liked it. We kept manuals while we were working as getting up hills in snow in an automatic wasn't as reliable. But, once retired and planning to NEVER drive in snow again if I can avoid it, we bumped up to an automatic with front wheel drive. HUGE comfort!
Three of my wife's four Beetles. One passed down to our daughter and another passed down to our youngest grandson. Only the latest one is an automatic, it's a family affair!
https://scontent.fluk1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.18169-9/27751561_10211254143044672_876062153115446914_n.jp g?_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=RQtwcQcpxLYAX_E2wDn&_nc_oc=AQk35Zxcf0VIZAwLBo-7ZFjqeRYkMIPWnhWQ6wcer_4oeJKYhyA3sHrj-twrP13KkTCcMyVG7SUAVuaauETwDSTf&tn=o8lxsydBNXziJm-X&_nc_ht=scontent.fluk1-1.fna&oh=00_AT_fHl35OrdazCF5CZe_ct7FEtjyCMFFDsHe45f4P6bC sQ&oe=6274DFE1
early morning
4-8-22, 10:46am
I am quite jealous, Alan! My first car was a 1970 Beatle. I am so sorry I don't have it still.... I drove manual trans VWs until they got so expensive I had to switch to a cheaper (still manual) car. I'm 65, and unless my knees give out, I'll not switch to an automatic. I don't like cars that think they know more than I do, lol. And when you only have four cylinders, you need to be able to use that extra power in the lower gears sometimes! I do think a car is for transportation, but I love to drive and appreciate some cars more than others - they are simply more fun to handle. Our truck is an automatic, and our beater van - but those were acquired due to their price, not for any specific features. I don't like to drive either one. I made both of our kids learn to drive a stick before they could drive an automatic, and both thank me for it. My *highlight* of driving a manual - in the mid 70s, I was in my late teens, working reception at a country club, and we had a big party. Someone showed up in a Maserati and neither of the car parkers could drive a stick (I know, right??) and one of the boys came in to get me to park it (because they weren't about to tell the owners they couldn't do it!). It was SO HARD to not take it for a spin! But I parked it all nice and neat. I was off work long before the party was over - I heard later that they had to get one of the bartenders to bring it round when the owner was ready to leave. And man, if I had a Maserati, I sure wouldn't hand it over to some teenager to park!
happystuff
4-8-22, 10:56am
While they are pretty, I have a hard time thinking of the "new" Beetles as the good old VW Bug. LOL. It's like someone pressed on the top of them and squished them down to make them a little flatter and wider. Again, that's just what I think when I see them.
While they are pretty, I have a hard time thinking of the "new" Beetles as the good old VW Bug. LOL. It's like someone pressed on the top of them and squished them down to make them a little flatter and wider. Again, that's just what I think when I see them.
Yep, but that's not the only difference, the 2 liter turbos and wider wheel base in the three in the photo make them feel like a Porsche on the road. The several older Beetles we owned in the 70's were cute but they had their problems too. Little or no heat in the winter, rusting floorboards that caused water to splash your legs when you drove over a puddle, needing to begin accelerating a mile or so before reaching the hill near our house in order to make it to the top and in one case, having the back seat begin to smoke whenever you hit a bump make the new Beetles a much better vehicle. :+1:
happystuff
4-8-22, 11:41am
The several older Beetles we owned in the 70's were cute but they had their problems too. Little or no heat in the winter, rusting floorboards that caused water to splash your legs when you drove over a puddle, needing to begin accelerating a mile or so before reaching the hill near our house in order to make it to the top and in one case, having the back seat begin to smoke whenever you hit a bump make the new Beetles a much better vehicle. :+1:
Ahhh... the memories of my youth! :laff:
We had an old Beetle in the late 70s and a new Beetle in the early 2000s--we got the New previously owned one for me to share with DD who was away at college. So she had it 75% of the time and when she graduated, I turned it over to her and I bought my Prius. That car was very cute, and we both got a lot of use out of it, including taking it on a mother-daughter cross-country trip from Texas to New Jersey. Lots of great memories there.
The only thing I didn't like about that Beetle was if the gas gauge said you were on the reserve tank, you better hie thee to a gas station PRONTO! More than one family member has run out of gas in that thing.
Yeah, that original Beetle was a little rough. I do remember the rusted floorboards. But it was still a lot cooler than the other two manual transmission cars I drove: a Chevy Vega and a Chevy Chevette. I think both have been on a few "worst cars ever" lists.
I had to sell my 2000 Beetle when I was paralyzed for four months and could not drive stick.
You can fit a wheelchair in the back, I found out!
ToomuchStuff
4-8-22, 2:56pm
Alan, gas or diesel?
Those look so much like the one our old Sysco salesman drove. He did the biodiesel conversion and ran it on shortening samples. After the death of a relative he drove their car and I considered buying it. (he wasn't ready to sell it and then gave someone else first dibs when he became ready)
I like the generation 2 of them better, but I still think they are a waste considering the same powertrain, etc. of a Golf.
Alan, gas or diesel?
All the Beetles have been gas. I did have a Passat diesel for a couple of years. I loved that car with it's roomy interior, peppy response and 50 mpg, 750 mile range on one tank of fuel. Unfortunately, about 2 years after buying it a lady busy texting on her cell phone crossed over the center line right in front of me resulting in a head-on collision which totaled both cars. I still miss it.
That's also the only car I ever made money on. I purchased it before the VW Diesel issue came up and totaled it during the VW buy back program. Between the buy back value (which became the figure the insurance company paid) and the settlement amount from VW I ended up with several thousand dollars over the purchase price in my pocket after 2 years of use.
iris lilies
4-8-22, 6:11pm
First car I ever owned was a VW beetle. Loved it!
I learned to drive on a stick VW Beetle.
iris lilies
4-8-22, 6:13pm
I remember driving DH’s manual transmission truck in a parade. It was 1.5 hours of start and stop, start and stop. Towards the end I was starting to panic because I wasn’t sure I could make my left leg push down any more.
I did a hike in the Columbia Gorge area once--miles and miles from Portland on I-84.
I spent the whole long ride having to pick up my leg and move it from pedal to pedal. :0!
4362
And I walked miles in the snow--uphill both ways...)
We kept manuals while we were working as getting up hills in snow in an automatic wasn't as reliable.
Going down hills as well. Was grateful this winter to be driving down a treacherously icy hill with a standard shift.
I am quite jealous, Alan! My first car was a 1970 Beatle. I am so sorry I don't have it still.... I drove manual trans VWs until they got so expensive I had to switch to a cheaper (still manual) car. I'm 65, and unless my knees give out, I'll not switch to an automatic. I don't like cars that think they know more than I do, lol. And when you only have four cylinders, you need to be able to use that extra power in the lower gears sometimes! I do think a car is for transportation, but I love to drive and appreciate some cars more than others - they are simply more fun to handle. Our truck is an automatic, and our beater van - but those were acquired due to their price, not for any specific features. I don't like to drive either one. I made both of our kids learn to drive a stick before they could drive an automatic, and both thank me for it. My *highlight* of driving a manual - in the mid 70s, I was in my late teens, working reception at a country club, and we had a big party. Someone showed up in a Maserati and neither of the car parkers could drive a stick (I know, right??) and one of the boys came in to get me to park it (because they weren't about to tell the owners they couldn't do it!). It was SO HARD to not take it for a spin! But I parked it all nice and neat. I was off work long before the party was over - I heard later that they had to get one of the bartenders to bring it round when the owner was ready to leave. And man, if I had a Maserati, I sure wouldn't hand it over to some teenager to park!
Great story, Early!
iris lilies
4-9-22, 8:45am
Three of my wife's four Beetles. One passed down to our daughter and another passed down to our youngest grandson. Only the latest one is an automatic, it's a family affair!
https://scontent.fluk1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.18169-9/27751561_10211254143044672_876062153115446914_n.jp g?_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=RQtwcQcpxLYAX_E2wDn&_nc_oc=AQk35Zxcf0VIZAwLBo-7ZFjqeRYkMIPWnhWQ6wcer_4oeJKYhyA3sHrj-twrP13KkTCcMyVG7SUAVuaauETwDSTf&tn=o8lxsydBNXziJm-X&_nc_ht=scontent.fluk1-1.fna&oh=00_AT_fHl35OrdazCF5CZe_ct7FEtjyCMFFDsHe45f4P6bC sQ&oe=6274DFE1
That is quite a fleet Alan. The Black Beetle Brigade.
That is quite a fleet Alan. The Black Beetle Brigade.
Not quite as impressive anymore, grandson traded the 22 year old one for a 10 year old Malibu. At 6'2" he said he needed more leg and head room.
Teacher Terry
4-9-22, 1:42pm
Your wife needs some variety in colors.
Your wife needs some variety in colors.
Did you know that in the New Beetle era VW has offered 6 different shades of black? She is actually quite discerning.
Teacher Terry
4-9-22, 4:06pm
I didn’t know that:)).
IMO, most automotive paint jobs are as dull as dirt. One of the reasons I liked the PT Cruiser line was its lovely colors over the years. So I bought "Vanilla." What was I thinking?
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=pt+cruiser+colors&atb=v314-1&iax=images&ia=images&iai=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.gtcarlot.com%2Fpictures%2F 48053884.jpg
ApatheticNoMore
4-9-22, 4:54pm
Considering almost all cars on the road seem to be white, black, or grey (with a rare red, blue or brownish). I think Henry Ford was right that any color you want as long as it's black wasn't far from what people actually want (but probably should have added white). Maybe just before a man before his time there.
Our original Beetle and our Chevette was black, but based on those experiences, I choose white for cars. I haven't bought one in 15 years, but if I were to buy another car, it would be white. Black shows the dirt and dust too easily. And I don't like colors because they can date the car. My neighbor had a lime green car from the 70s--similar to an Impala, but I can't remember the make & model. He kept it forever and my kids used to call it the boogermobile.
The neighbor died, and the son moved to Austin. The car stayed in the garage--his wife drove something else. When she agreed to move to Austin to be with her son, she had a lot of stuff to get rid of, but one day, I saw the son and then I saw a big car carrier in front of the house, and sure enough, the Boogermobile made the trip to Austin with the rest of the family.
iris lilies
4-9-22, 7:45pm
Considering almost all cars on the road seem to be white, black, or grey (with a rare red, blue or brownish). I think Henry Ford was right that any color you want as long as it's black wasn't far from what people actually want (but probably should have added white). Maybe just before a man before his time there.
No color has been popular for a while. But that’s just a current trend. Will move away from it to something else. Everything is either black, white, or metallic which is what I think you mean by GREY and I pretty much agree that we might as well just call it all Grey or even Greige.
rosarugosa
4-10-22, 6:24am
When I bought my Focus in 2014, it came in an interesting green that I liked (booger?? lol) but it cost $1000 more than the black model. I am all about basic affordable transportation when it comes to cars, and I decided that if I liked that shade of green, I could buy a sweater that color for a lot less than $1000. I don't have any regrets about the choice.
iris lilies
4-10-22, 8:55am
When I bought my sports cart it had to be either white or red. The day we set out to buy it there was both a red one and a white one available, but I saw the red one first and liked it so I bought it.
My next sports car must be white. No variation, white it is!! Does not mean I regret my red car because I don’t, it’s great and red! I will just want a change in color when the time comes.
ToomuchStuff
4-10-22, 9:02am
White shows the dirt just as bad as black. However white is cooler then black on the inside in summer.
White is a common color, here, on fleet or government vehicles.
Black cars do seem to need a little more care to keep them looking clean. My first black car was a BMW 325i convertible back in the mid 90's and all subsequent cars after that were black as well. My wife liked the look so much that she went black shortly after. Our black streak continued until just a couple of years ago when we sold our motorhome and replaced it with a travel trailer which required a vehicle with enough suspension and power to tow it. That's how I ended up with a white truck. I wanted a black one but wifey said no way, trailer and truck must be matchy matchy so both are white with black trim. I'm slowly getting accustomed to it.
https://scontent.fluk1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/118324272_767023284092060_9220647973939791832_n.pn g?_nc_cat=109&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=ae9488&_nc_ohc=P7lcFdDpBd0AX-hNBcd&tn=o8lxsydBNXziJm-X&_nc_ht=scontent.fluk1-1.fna&oh=03_AVLxyFIjpEiEQOA8Vr8gIA1nTQdmXmkXkKKOKySSrRIU 3A&oe=6279962A
iris lilies
4-10-22, 2:09pm
So, we are less than 3 months away from a regional plant society conference that has a national reach.
No information has been distributed. I wouldn't even know the exact dates of this conference if an outlier hadn’t sent email to everyone in our local group (who are expected to pull this off) mentioning the dates. The national organization has published nothing. The regional organization sponsoring the conference has published nothing.
yet, I know it is going forward. Dearest organizers, Please tell us how we are to participate if we cant even get it onto our calendars in THE busiest months of the gardening season?
updating my own post:
I wrote a long boring post that no one will care about, and then deleted it. Suffice to say, the conference is now four weeks away and organizers have panicked because registration is showing to be very low. No kidding. Hardly anyone knows about the conference, they just distributed information two weeks ago.
Our club is due to lose many thousands of dollars if this thing tanks.
Ordinarily if this had been a good faith effort I might write a check to pad the coffers, but I really think it was so badly handled from the beginning to the end I just do not wish to contribute to the stupidity even though the people who planned it are competent and experienced. It’s just that they put their heads down and plowed ahead with a plan that was hatched in the year 2018. This is the year 2022. Adjustments needed to be made and those adjustments were not made.
Teacher Terry
4-10-22, 2:19pm
People need to learn from their mistakes or they will keep making them.
iris lilies
4-10-22, 2:25pm
People need to learn from their mistakes or they will keep making them.yeah, but they are at the end of the road and probably will not be planning another conference like this.
Many months ago I sent emails out to key people saying in a plaintive complaining way , haha, that gosh, are we going to have that conference? Is there a planning committee? Should we reevaluate where we are in planning it and forget the national elements of it?
Yet, that is exactly what they are now complaining about, the national element is not pulling their weight and will sink the entire conference. I noticed that as of today the national group has not posted anything on their website or their Facebook page about our conference that they were invited to but apparently do not wish to attend.
Teacher Terry
4-10-22, 2:52pm
Our Celtic festival went belly up due to a few factors. Some of the volunteers got too heavy handed and made people mad so they quit volunteering. Then the pandemic so no festival and the volunteer who made people mad had the ability to pull the games which was the main attraction when he was taken out of his position of power. You had people coming from all over to compete in the old fashioned games. With all those events converging there was no way to save the event which had been going on for 30 years.
iris lilies
4-10-22, 3:16pm
Our Celtic festival went belly up due to a few factors. Some of the volunteers got too heavy handed and made people mad so they quit volunteering. Then the pandemic so no festival and the volunteer who made people mad had the ability to pull the games which was the main attraction when he was taken out of his position of power. You had people coming from all over to compete in the old fashioned games. With all those events converging there was no way to save the event which had been going on for 30 years.
we lost our Scottish highland games as well, only I was not privy to any insider information, I just know that the main organizers who had done it for years were tired and said “no more. We will do it no more. “And that is perfectly fine. It might’ve been infighting but I’m not aware of it. Obviously new people did not step up to take on the role, so die it did.
The Scottish heritage society still holds a number of events through out the year So it’s not as though we have no way to celebrate Scottish heritage if we wish to do that.
Teacher Terry
4-11-22, 1:28am
It was a cool festival so kinda sad to see it go.
iris lilies
4-26-22, 3:50pm
We had drama in our community garden yesterday. Someone sent out several snarky anonymous letters to owners of beds that have not been cleaned up yet. Anonymous letters are cowardly. And, the gardeners dont even have to have their beds cleaned up until April 30th. That is the date in their Gardener’s Agreement.
This is unsettling and disruptive to our harmonious group. A pox on the letter writer!
I'm not sure if this is a rant or a rave, it seems to depend from day to day. Earlier in the spring we discovered that for the 2nd time in two years a planter on our front porch had been taken over by a pair of doves tending to two freshly laid eggs. We avoided the area as much as possible and waited for the eggs to hatch and newborns leave the nest so that we could use the planter for its intended purpose.
About 2 weeks ago we saw the last newborn leave the nest so the very next day we visited the local plant store to purchase plants to take up the space. Before we could take down the planter for refilling, the parent doves came back and laid another two eggs. So, we've been patiently awaiting this brood's exit and continuing to avoid usage of the front door. This may have been a mistake because now I have what appears to be a pair of Red Breasted Sapsuckers creating a new nest on my porch light. Rather than being off to one side where we can easily pass by if necessary, this one is less than 3 feet from the door and directly overhead when trying to enter/exit the house.
I kind of enjoy watching these birds create their families but my garage door opener is getting quite a workout.
First pair of baby doves: https://scontent.fluk1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/277844653_1924924631033893_4509543274172267886_n.j pg?stp=dst-jpg_s2048x2048&_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=ae9488&_nc_ohc=MxDlqS6nQEcAX-pEzNB&_nc_ht=scontent.fluk1-1.fna&oh=03_AVIBKJ3fOxnGd0Kz3MWeBCnJPAX_z8csVXuCmShPha1L IA&oe=62945438
Last of the first baby dove brood leaving the nest: https://scontent.fluk1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/277935340_1325452937946522_4256762139574514019_n.j pg?stp=dst-jpg_s2048x2048&_nc_cat=100&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=ae9488&_nc_ohc=wIrSzcqKh34AX8401xs&tn=o8lxsydBNXziJm-X&_nc_ht=scontent.fluk1-1.fna&oh=03_AVI8ro2p0Sd_58Mty6ZivdbobhducuuMI_e9i86GkvTc DA&oe=62949DF2
New nest just outside the door:
https://scontent.fluk1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/279302613_530085128634285_478380938197567779_n.jpg ?stp=dst-jpg_s2048x2048&_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=ae9488&_nc_ohc=be_oe2MUFaAAX815tGB&_nc_ht=scontent.fluk1-1.fna&oh=03_AVIsiF9PxeuNjhRJKOjB09xwYgh02LsBmBGerMKKoUAa cA&oe=629724D4
I've seen birds' nests in fast-food drive-thrus, so I'm not sure you have to be so careful. But what a treat!
How adorable. I think you are really blessed to have a family of doves on your front porch, and talk about a wonderful omen!
ToomuchStuff
5-3-22, 9:34am
Well Alan, I knew the term, this is for the birds, but I didn't realize you planted and grew your own.
Have any cats?;)
So cute!!!
Thanks for the reminder for me to put my own (real) birdhouses out!
The diamond came out of my wedding ring. I went today to see how much it would cost to have it reset and it was over $200!!!! Sheesh.. the ring didn't cost much more than that new.
Frugal-one: We spent a few days in Portland last month, and while we were there, I noticed that one of the tiny diamonds had fallen out of my wedding band. It was a very inexpensive ring even back then, and the value is strictly sentimental. It is also yellow gold, and I mostly wear silver these days. Since we were in Portland, I went to a few shops in the area. I saw one ring I liked for $1300, but I wasn't interested in spending that kind of money. Then I went to Mexicali Blues, my favorite boho "hippie" shop and got the perfect ring for $18.00! I would claim this as a frugal, but it was more than offset by so many un-frugals, that it would feel a bit dishonest to do so.
4458
I am growing my hair out, so I'm shaggy but frugal. It's been short all over and I am thinking to maybe get the top fuller and then cut a wedge in it eventually.
iris lilies
5-5-22, 9:53am
I am growing my hair out, so I'm shaggy but frugal. It's been short all over and I am thinking to maybe get the top fuller and then cut a wedge in it eventually.
I am cutting my hair shorter now.
in old age i’ve lost hair, although it appears that loss rate has greatly slowed. So now I have not-so-heavy hair mass and it now holds a bit of wave. I pull my hair all to the top of my head and make a strait cut across the pony tail. Then trim it up a little.
i have not been to a professional hair cutter since 1978.
I have never had my nails done. Or a pedicure. Or eyebrow waxing. Or massage.
I am not high maintenance.
Frugal-one: We spent a few days in Portland last month, and while we were there, I noticed that one of the tiny diamonds had fallen out of my wedding band. It was a very inexpensive ring even back then, and the value is strictly sentimental. It is also yellow gold, and I mostly wear silver these days. Since we were in Portland, I went to a few shops in the area. I saw one ring I liked for $1300, but I wasn't interested in spending that kind of money. Then I went to Mexicali Blues, my favorite boho "hippie" shop and got the perfect ring for $18.00! I would claim this as a frugal, but it was more than offset by so many un-frugals, that it would feel a bit dishonest to do so.
4458
That is very simple and pretty. It is, indeed, the perfect ring!
I am cutting my hair shorter now.
in old age i’ve lost hair, although it appears that loss rate has greatly slowed. So now I have not-so-heavy hair mass and it now holds a bit of wave. I pull my hair all to the top of my head and make a strait cut across the pony tail. Then trim it up a little.
i have not been to a professional hair cutter since 1978.
I have never had my nails done. Or a pedicure. Or eyebrow waxing. Or massage.
I am not high maintenance.
I never have cut my own hair. DH did it in the beginning days of the pandemic. He did a great job but said NO MORE. I am low maintenance too. I color my own hair, do my own nails and piuck my own brows. Other than the hair cutting... the rest is easy enough to do myself. I actually dislike massages so that is not even on my radar.
iris lilies
5-5-22, 6:17pm
I never have cut my own hair. DH did it in the beginning days of the pandemic. He did a great job but said NO MORE. I am low maintenance too. I color my own hair, do my own nails and piuck my own brows. Other than the hair cutting... the rest is easy enough to do myself. I actually dislike massages so that is not even on my radar.
Well, I’m not saying that my hair looks “good” But it is long enough that some uneven Ness can be hidden. If one is going to have a short stylish haircut that needs to be done by a pro I think.
I only “do my nails” by scrubbing the dirt out from under them.
Rosa, that ring is beautiful!
I could have said I never had a pedicure, but my daughter Shanghai'd me before my birthday and I got one. She also bought me a gel nail polish manicure. I'm an incurable nail biter, but when you have to chew through enough plastic to seal a meal, it is a bit of a deterrent! The gel is gone, but I haven't bitten my nails since, so maybe I've broken the habit. That would be a miracle.
Even though I only cut my own hair once, in high school, I still consider myself very low maintenance. That said, I had my left ear re-pierced specifically because DH bought me these really awesome bee earrings and one ear has been lopsided for decades! A nod to our yellow jacket experience last summer, but I love them! I wanted them to sit right, so I had my ears straightened out!
I've been cutting my own hair for the past 20 years or so. I even cut my grandsons hair during the lockdowns. Not saying I did a good job, but we're low maintenance too. :~)
https://scontent.fluk1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/94429934_10218030419778174_4252719906027470848_n.j pg?_nc_cat=103&ccb=1-6&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=XaF0V8-a_LkAX9601uU&_nc_ht=scontent.fluk1-1.fna&oh=00_AT9ls4h2ySHuuh4y4F_RiZDgIMEb8esRyss8j66RdtPZ 3g&oe=629BDAA5
https://scontent.fluk1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/95436974_10218030420418190_4761357833327345664_n.j pg?_nc_cat=101&ccb=1-6&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=j5bUvHy7eSAAX8mvBGb&_nc_ht=scontent.fluk1-1.fna&oh=00_AT-EcPtPGimnTFlOjBoigp6dI8r8Kurn_tZ0VAqU9Ogp4A&oe=629A637D
iris lilies
5-5-22, 9:09pm
Great job Alan!
after butchering his hair decades ago, DH won’t let me touch it even for a light trim until he can get to the hair salon.
Hermann has an old fashion barber with a barber pole in its little historic downtown, and I keep telling DH he needs to go there like a real man to have his hair cut. But he continues to go to Great Clips where the girls cut his hair.
oh! Maybe that is why he goes there, the girls!…
frugal-one
5-5-22, 10:25pm
I cut DH hair during covid too. He won't let me do it again! (hehe) He let it grow longer than usual and told me he was going for the Willy Nelson look... but we both knew better. Now we both go to the same gal and she does a wonderful job cutting our hair.
ToomuchStuff
5-5-22, 11:56pm
I've been cutting my own hair for the past 20 years or so
How hard is it to do yourself?
My niece does it for a living and only lives a couple miles away. I tend to swap out haircuts for help with house projects,
I picked up clippers though (that a couple of cutters said were good), at a damaged freight store for $30.
DH "hired" me as his regular barber during Covid, and I continue in that role. I've never cut my own hair, other than the obligatory minor hack job when I was 5 years old. I do my own nails though, and no masseuse for me.
happystuff
5-6-22, 10:08am
I cut the kids' hair when they were little and will even do some trimming now that they are older. One of my kids will do trimmings/bangs on mine in exchange. Dh is easy enough to do as he just gets a buzz but every now and then.
Edited to add: Really like the ring, rr! Reminds me of the 70s style.
Teacher Terry
5-6-22, 11:14am
I cut my kids hair until they were 12 and then they wanted a professional cut. I cut my ex’s hair until we divorced. I never told husband number 3 I had that skill:)). Honestly I wasn’t very good. I never had a massage until 30 years ago when my chiropractor recommended it after a bad car accident. I had one monthly until I retired because my neck hurt from computer work. I started getting a manicure and pedicure before cruising about 6 years ago. It’s a fun rare treat. I stopped paying for hair coloring and my friend does it now.
iris lilies
5-6-22, 12:00pm
I won’t post details on an open board like this, but I will PM you, just for grins, to kick around the issue. I’m seeing a line in the sand I can draw coming in the near future.
it appears our family court case won’t be going to court because it looks like the recalcitrant sibling who is suing everyone else to sell the family property and split profits will accept a portion of the actual property as payment.
This of course is only a good thing. Even though the portion they’re giving to this sibling is more expensive than what everyone else has. Because little bro doesn’t want a particular, lesser valued piece going to suing sibling because it affects his access. Gosh can’t have little bro inconvenienced! Eye roll.
so the end result is the group has devalued their asset two times, once for dividing it at all, and then a second time for tearing out a better piece.
But you know as I’ve said this is not my asset, I’m not on the deed, I don’t own it, DH can decide what to do with his property as he chooses.
The next step is to get the attorney’s bill for handling this lawsuit and having DH show me that he’s paying for it out of his IRA.
then, after that, the next next next step will be to get an annual accounting that I can see with my own eyes of how this farm works. All I want is absolute proof on an annual basis that my household is not throwing money at it to support it. It needs to produce net income or at minimum even be net neutral.
iris lilies
5-6-22, 12:15pm
yeah, but they are at the end of the road and probably will not be planning another conference like this.
Many months ago I sent emails out to key people saying in a plaintive complaining way , haha, that gosh, are we going to have that conference? Is there a planning committee? Should we reevaluate where we are in planning it and forget the national elements of it?
Yet, that is exactly what they are now complaining about, the national element is not pulling their weight and will sink the entire conference. I noticed that as of today the national group has not posted anything on their website or their Facebook page about our conference that they were invited to but apparently do not wish to attend.
our conference is a GO and enough people have registered that my group will not lose money. So that is a big relief.
iris lilies
5-6-22, 12:56pm
This is a Rant that is sorta turning into a Rave. It illustrates how I “process “things in my little mind. When things bug me I chew on them and turn them over and ruminate until I can come to a satisfying point of view about the things. I always want to achieve peace and harmony internally about stuff even though I like a certain amount of conflict externally, ha ha. Anyway…
I’m working towards accreditation in a particular area. I have hands-on experience of 15+ years not to mention the required classroom and supervised training. This is of course about plants as you can guess.
Someone in our group has been attending the workshops and is a very disruptive personality. But so be it, I can pal around with this person to some extent. I welcome her attendance at the workshops and training sessions because why not? Even though she does not grow the plant in question. There are MANY instances I could relate about how she COULD grow the plant but she does not.
So a few weeks ago I learned she has decided she wants to get accreditation. In a plant she does not grow. She will be judging exhibits on a show bench when she has never herself put an exhibit in a show. Color me shocked at the hutzphah.
Oy vey. Now it looks as though she’s going to reach accreditation before I do simply because she stepped forward to claim a couple of training opportunities before I did. Those are “one person only at a time” opportunities.
So this was really bugging me for a while but now I’m turning it around and seeing that it doesn’t really matter. This is another circus that is not mine. If the powers that be grant her accreditation, so be it. Not my circus, not my monkeys. While I will be deeply skeptical of any judging she does in a show of my own exhibits, knowing full well she has never —-not once —-put an exhibit of her own in a show, it is what it is.
And honestly at this point if this is kind of a Rave because I am seeing the irony in this, it’s a bit humorous, the group is so desperate for participation at this level that they are “letting anyone in. “ Okey-dokey.
Let me also state that no one would get away with this crap in the National Garden Club accreditation process. Those NGC ladies are organized like the military and your training is a mixture of classroom testing, practical hands-on work, and demonstrated competence at growing and designing. Let me also say that this particular problem person would be much better as an NGC judge because her plant interest is more general as is her experience. But she’s such a problem personality that she cannot get into a garden club.
it appears our family court case won’t be going to court because it looks like the recalcitrant sibling who is suing everyone else to sell the family property and split profits will accept a portion of the actual property as payment.
This of course is only a good thing. Even though the portion they’re giving to this sibling is more expensive than what everyone else has. Because little bro doesn’t want a particular, lesser valued piece going to suing sibling because it affects his access. Gosh can’t have little bro inconvenienced! Eye roll.
so the end result is the group has devalued their asset two times, once for dividing it at all, and then a second time for tearing out a better piece.
But you know as I’ve said this is not my asset, I’m not on the deed, I don’t own it, DH can decide what to do with his property as he chooses.
The next step is to get the attorney’s bill for handling this lawsuit and having DH show me that he’s paying for it out of his IRA.
then, after that, the next next next step will be to get an annual accounting that I can see with my own eyes of how this farm works. All I want is absolute proof on an annual basis that my household is not throwing money at it to support it. It needs to produce net income or at minimum even be net neutral.
Congratulations! I am impressed that this got done so quickly, and without actually going to court. It does seem like the more unpleasantly someone behaves, the more of the family inheritance they receive, just as a general rule.
Kind of like the ones who throw tantrums when they are little, and the whole family revolves around them.
iris lilies
5-6-22, 3:34pm
Congratulations! I am impressed that this got done so quickly, and without actually going to court. It does seem like the more unpleasantly someone behaves, the more of the family inheritance they receive, just as a general rule.
Kind of like the ones who throw tantrums when they are little, and the whole family revolves around them.
yes! We think her new attorney is a stronger and better attorney who is advising her to settle and is getting her some thing that might be a tad better than what she was offered a couple years ago, but only a tad. And it’s only a tad better because Little Bro doesn’t want to give up the worst piece of the farm ‘ cause it isn’t convenient for him.
I admire your self-control and governance when dealing with aggravating people.
Rant... dealing with people who make mistakes and then lie about it and blame you or expect you to pay more for their mistake!!!! CYA... all the way!
iris lilies
5-6-22, 4:20pm
I admire your self-control and governance when dealing with aggravating people.
If you mean me, this has to do with my awesome ability to compartmentalize. And that’s certainly good in many cases and it is not so good in other cases.
So with this particular problematic person I can see the value she brings to our organization in a couple of very specific jobs, but I understand her inability to be trustworthy in positions of real responsibility for the overall organization.
People in my hobby group will say “I know she is a friend of yours but… “ and go on to say something that confirms her craziness and their irritation with her, but they don’t understand just because I have friendly interactions with her and support her work in some cases does it mean at home I’m not bitching and moaning to DH about this person‘s latest craziness. Because I do plenty of bitching and moaning in private about her.
Let me also say that I will never be president, or at least —sigh—I hope I will not take on a presidency of our organization while she’s in the picture because I do NOT want to manage her inability to exist peacefully with the group.
catherine
5-18-22, 11:01am
OMG...not great start to the day but I’m just being a whiney-pants.
Basically, my morning routine shot to hell.
I bought a life insurance policy a couple of weeks ago, and a paramedic was scheduled to come to my house for an examination. However, they never confirmed. I’ve tried calling and I get no answer, or a busy signal. So I don’t know if they’re coming today (in 4 minutes to be exact).
So, because they have to draw blood, I haven’t had my coffee. That’s whiney-pants #1. If I knew what the hell was happening I could deal with it, but who knows if this person is going to show up at all?? Who comes all the way up to GI without confirming the appointment first? I would assume that she would have called to remind me to fast, to relax, to wear a short-sleeved shirt, all that kind of thing.
So that would be enough on its own to make me crabby. But (whiney-pants #2) DH usually starts the morning in his workshop and I have time to sit quietly, no noise, no talking, while I plan my day, meditate, exercise, etc.
But for some reason he picks my coffee-less morning to rattle around since 7 cleaning up the kitchen, rearranging his drawers, and in general just “futterin’ aboot” as my MIL would say.
AND he is now wearing hearing aids that channel his playlist, so he’s singing VERY loudly, and badly, all these show tunes. Yelling, “Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I luv ya! Tomorrow!”
I’ll love you, tomorrow, if I can get my coffee and quiet time.
First world problems I know. I sure can’t complain. He's being cheerful and productive. But I can still be irritated and cranky.
happystuff
5-18-22, 12:24pm
catherine, since you posted over an hour ago, I hope you have had your exam AND your coffee... or at least your coffee! Wishing you a better day as it progresses.
catherine
5-18-22, 12:40pm
catherine, since you posted over an hour ago, I hope you have had your exam AND your coffee... or at least your coffee! Wishing you a better day as it progresses.
haha! Coffee, yes. Exam, no. I'm off to plant some native flowers in a community garden at the local library, so all is well!
Teacher Terry
5-18-22, 1:50pm
Catherine, sometimes you just want to bury a too cheerful person in the backyard:)).
Catherine, sometimes you just want to bury a too cheerful person in the backyard:)).
hahaha!!! I'm with you, Terry!
I will NEVER overbook myself to help people out in their galleries for 8 days in a row. I just cannot sit that long doing virtually nothing. I was starting to miss my Wholefoods deli job by day 5. I need stuff to do, projects, things to get done; I CANNOT stand sitting at a desk!
iris lilies
5-28-22, 9:46am
If you mean me, this has to do with my awesome ability to compartmentalize. And that’s certainly good in many cases and it is not so good in other cases.
So with this particular problematic person I can see the value she brings to our organization in a couple of very specific jobs, but I understand her inability to be trustworthy in positions of real responsibility for the overall organization.
People in my hobby group will say “I know she is a friend of yours but… “ and go on to say something that confirms her craziness and their irritation with her, but they don’t understand just because I have friendly interactions with her and support her work in some cases does it mean at home I’m not bitching and moaning to DH about this person‘s latest craziness. Because I do plenty of bitching and moaning in private about her.
Let me also say that I will never be president, or at least —sigh—I hope I will not take on a presidency of our organization while she’s in the picture because I do NOT want to manage her inability to exist peacefully with the group.
I will add that at our recent regional conference there was a huge blow up about this problematic person, and the president was so angry with her he told me he almost kicked her out and refunded her money. But then, he was operating on high emotion, so since then things calmed down and the next weekend we all played nicely together.:)
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