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iris lilies
6-13-24, 6:40pm
it was pretty humid today and it was a little bit better yesterday. I hope that window air conditioner is keeping it cool. If you haven’t used it, you need to turn it on to see how it will work for you.
If I was going to live there, I’d have another unit in the living room.
the botanical gardens are great, they are one of the best in the world. I know we say that because MoBot is in our city, but I love all the old architectural on the grounds.
The new main building is impractical for our plant societies and I’m mad about it and no longer donate other than an annual membership. Tower Grove Park across the street is bordered by Grand Avenue and it is a Victorian park. Is my favorite park in the entire city.
the Compton Hill water tower is Victorian and it’s pretty cool.
I just got back from dinner at Crafted on Shenandoah - decent food and a great walk back on Hawthorne. Those houses are so AMAZING! The architecture all over is amazing!
The window air conditioner is doing a fine job once I settle in and stop moving around. We only have one window air conditioner at my place in the desert, plus about four fans in various rooms and I'm always quite comfortable.
happystuff
6-14-24, 9:34am
So glad the trip (and stay!) are working out SiouzQ! Continued safe travels!
littlebittybobby
6-16-24, 2:01pm
okay---this(see photo)
rosarugosa
6-20-24, 6:16am
IL: What is it with people from Missouri and trees? Do you know these peeps? :~)
https://www.npr.org/2024/06/19/nx-s1-5011566/maine-poisoned-trees-killer-view-missouri-couple-bond
IL: What is it with people from Missouri and trees? Do you know these peeps? :~)
https://www.npr.org/2024/06/19/nx-s1-5011566/maine-poisoned-trees-killer-view-missouri-couple-bond
This story popped up on my phone yesterday. Yikes.
iris lilies
6-20-24, 10:50am
Rosa, sometimes trees must be tamed, kept in line. That’s just the way life is!
haha, kidding.
it is kind of amazing for me that our great view is not blocked by treetops. The treetops form a U where the Vista of the church and it’s steeple are perfectly visible, framed by treetops. All those trees are fully mature so none of them are going to be blocking my view.
I would have a tree problem were they not fully mature. I can’t see this view changing in my lifetime.
Where I live was a mostly treeless, high plains grassland smack up against the mountains. Very few trees other than conifers and aspens, etc at higher altittude. Nevertheless, people moved in and planted trees everywhere. The pervasive winds knock them down regularly and those that remain in the older neighborhoods completely block the gorgeous views of Pike's Peak. I think I am one of the only people on my street that doesn't use some sort of herbicide. My brother once worked for Monsanto and told me things so I avoid them all.
IL: What is it with people from Missouri and trees? Do you know these peeps? :~)
https://www.npr.org/2024/06/19/nx-s1-5011566/maine-poisoned-trees-killer-view-missouri-couple-bond
Wow. Just wow. I'm glad she was prosecuted but I am absolutely stunned at her behavior. It reminds me of a situation in Florida that my college friend told me about when I visited her in Key Largo. She lives in a very exclusive community--the type of community where people are so rich even money is considered crass... no one exchanges money at the shops or restaurants.
Well, one of the people there lived on the water (as did almost everyone) but he didn't like the mangroves in the water in front of his house, so he flouted the law and had them removed. He was prosecuted to the full extent of the law--it may have even been jail time.
I say it's the wealthy, selfish, immoral, entitled people that sometimes have to be tamed and kept in line. The trees are usually minding their own business.
Chigger bites. Chigger bites in places where the sun don't shine. Me, extremely, supremely aggravated by said chigger bites. That is all...
I didn't think there were chiggers in NM.
I didn't either, but apparently they are here. I remember I got them very badly while camping in Texas - I was using my hairbrush to scrath my ankles it was so bad! I am highly suseptible to getting extreme allergic reactions to any sort of insect bites. It seems like it is getting worse as I age. My mom always used to say it was because I had the "sweet blood" that bugs like.
Well, I have a health related rant. Female stuff. Had my last period in late 2016. Nothing since. Back in April I had one brief instance of vaginal bleeding. Took me weeks to get into GP, who then gave me a referral to a gynie. I’ve only used GP for years. Anyway vaginal ultrasound and doc appt today. Uterine lining is very thick and I have fibroids I didn’t know I had. When I was younger I had nasty endometriosis, diagnosed in 1988, and a number of surgeries to remove the scar tissue. Anyway, doc wants to do an endometrial biopsy just to make sure everything is OK. I only went to the doc due to bleeding as a friend in mid 60s had that about a year ago and she ended up with cancer.
Biopsy appt is the 16th. I’m not particularly worried.
Doc did give me progesterone rx for my sleeping issues. I’ve never been on HRT at all to this point. No estrogen until after biopsy results back.
I hope all goes well, Tradd.
Will be hoping for good results for you.
Sending good healing thoughts your way!
iris lilies
7-2-24, 9:05am
Trade, I think you’re right not to worry too much. Doesn’t fibroid tissue shrink as we get older anyway? You may be on the downside of this.
early morning
7-2-24, 9:14am
In our particular family history, fibroid tissue doesn't shrink with age, it expands. So it's good to get it checked out! I too have lost a friend due to uterine/cervical cancer, with little or no symptoms until it was quite advanced. Hoping all is well, Tradd.
Thank you all! Will keep you updated.
Good luck with it all, Tradd. Agree with the others - good to stay on top of it, but probably not too much to worry.
Sorry to hear of this Tradd - I hope all goes well and sorts itself out.
rosarugosa
7-19-24, 10:54am
In a show of solidarity with President Biden, DH and I have developed covid for the first time. This was not on my list of things I wanted to do! Thankfully it just feels like a head cold, worse for me than for him. We've had all our vaccinations and MD is prescribing meds because we have significant risk factors. I'm just glad we're getting it now and didn't get it back in the days of refrigerated morgue overflow trucks.
iris lilies
7-19-24, 11:03am
In a show of solidarity with President Biden, DH and I have developed covid for the first time. This was not on my list of things I wanted to do! Thankfully it just feels like a head cold, worse for me than for him. We've had all our vaccinations and MD is prescribing meds because we have significant risk factors. I'm just glad we're getting it now and didn't get it back in the days of refrigerated morgue overflow trucks.
oh no!!!! I still have not had Covid.
I stopped vaccinations after shot #3, but am not opposed to more, just haven’t got around to it.
rosarugosa
7-19-24, 1:08pm
oh no!!!! I still have not had Covid.
I stopped vaccinations after shot #3, but am not opposed to more, just haven’t got around to it.
I've had 8 shots so far. Hopefully that will make me one of the mild cases.
iris lilies
7-19-24, 1:21pm
I've had 8 shots so far. Hopefully that will make me one of the mild cases.
Hunh. How often are we supposed to get them now? I’ve lost track.
I know several here recently diagnosed with Covid. I thought I might have it due to head cold symptoms but test was negative.
frugal-one
7-20-24, 4:51pm
Jeez. I thought there were 4 covid shots. I stopped at #3 also.
My wife and I stopped at 3 as well. Neither of us has ever had it either, at least not to our knowledge, although we both got very sick with what we later found were covid like symptoms during our annual Christmas at the beach trip in late December 2019 and early January 2020. This was a few weeks before the first confirmed case in the US so it probably wasn't covid but since neither of us gets sick very often, I've always wondered, what if?
iris lilies
7-20-24, 6:14pm
My wife and I stopped at 3 as well. Neither of us has ever had it either, at least not to our knowledge, although we both got very sick with what we later found were covid like symptoms during our annual Christmas at the beach trip in late December 2019 and early January 2020. This was a few weeks before the first confirmed case in the US so it probably wasn't covid but since neither of us gets sick very often, I've always wondered, what if?
I remember my friend came over to our house February 2020 after checking with a doctor about pneumonia. She didn’t have it but she said this is as sick as she’s been in a long time.
Later, she figured out it was Covid. She figured she got it at her hairdressers who has many clients, businesswoman, who fly internationally.
I suppose by the time she was sitting on our couch she was no longer spreading it.
rosarugosa
7-21-24, 6:55am
DH feels fine at this point and I feel like I'm in the recovery phase of a head cold. The Paxlovid has the weird side effect of leaving a metallic taste in my mouth, but DH is not experiencing this. It's nothing I can't live with for a few days; it's just weird. The CDC guidance now is so wishy-washy that I don't wonder about the spike in cases. Once symptoms are subsiding and no fever for 24 hours, you are OK to go forth into the world. Oh, you may very well still be contagious, so it would be nice if you wore a mask, and took the usual precautions, but we're not trying to force you or anything. Geesh. We're definitely going to err on the side of not spreading illness around.
I've had five shots, plus covid once. My doctor thought the last round of recommended booster for seniors was overkill, but I'll probably get a booster this fall along with the flu shot if that's what's recommended. I had a vaccinated friend get pretty sick from covid this spring, so it's not over and I don't think the vaccination protection lasts forever. It's not ever been a big deal to get the shot.
When I had covid about a year ago the recommendation was to isolate for five days and mask for another five. Some of the newer more liberal recommendations don't make a lot of sense to me.
Have to go to a funeral on an island and it's been 2 months since the person died. Really wish people would have funerals within a week of the death. I told my husband if I go, get it over with within one week so people can get back to their lives and not have it hanging over them. Rent an air b n b for the kids and let them get together and cook and do the shiva thing. There's a lot of wisdom to that.
When I was a kid, you had two full days at the funeral home and then the morning of the funeral. I remember having to sit at the funeral home for two long summer days when I was about 11 when my great-grandmother died. I had to beg to be allowed to bring a couple of books with me. As it was, I got severely scolded by older relatives for reading during the visitation. What did they expect me to do?
These days, it’s one evening of visitation, plus a bit before the funeral and that’s it.
happystuff
7-27-24, 9:35am
I plan to be cremated so really just maybe a party with my ashes in a corner somewhere. Eat, drink and be merry! Although I hope to have a playlist of songs that will drive some folks crazy!!! :~):laff:
I plan to be cremated so really just maybe a party with my ashes in a corner somewhere. Eat, drink and be merry! Although I hope to have a playlist of songs that will drive some folks crazy!!! :~):laff:
Happy, that sounds nice. That's kind of how the funeral was, which was nice. And my granddaughter brought a book, Tradd!
Happy, that sounds nice. That's kind of how the funeral was, which was nice. And my granddaughter brought a book, Tradd!
:)
frugal-one
8-21-24, 4:20pm
I am BUMMED! Today got an email that the library will be discontinuing Hoopla! I use it every day!!!! I liked it in that if you saw something you wanted, you got it right away.... otherwise most times have to wait. I dislike Libby which is where the library is referring everyone to. Guess I will have to check alternative sources... Audible?
ETA: https://rigorousthemes.com/blog/best-z-library-alternatives/
My library did away with Hoopla a year or two ago.
My rant: D&C tomorrow. Yuck. No baths for two weeks. I live in the tub. Showers Ok.
I am sick and tired of people bellyaching about how much their homeowner's insurance has gone up. These are people who CHOOSE to live in California (wildfire prone areas) or in FL/Gulf Coast. Don't want to pay such high costs, then move to an area that isn't prone to those natural disasters.
frugal-one
8-24-24, 2:36pm
Costco did not have the organic hamburger it usually carries. Talked to the meat dept and was told they are pushing the grass fed beef. Bought some and it is gross! Used it for taco soup … the meat does does crumble easily and remains in larger “clumps”. I plan on taking it back…. waste of time and ingredients!
Costco did not have the organic hamburger it usually carries. Talked to the meat dept and was told they are pushing the grass fed beef. Bought some and it is gross! Used it for taco soup … the meat does does crumble easily and remains in larger “clumps”. I plan on taking it back…. waste of time and ingredients!
Grass-fed beef is typically leaner with less fat and marbeling and requires slightly different cooking methods. But for many reasons, grass-fed is better because cows raised and "finished" on grass rather than grain are usually treated more humanely (i.e., raised in pastures rather than concentrated feedlots). Also, while there is no proof that grass-fed is healthier for you, it does have a higher concentration of omega-3's, which are very good for you.
A really great book if you are interested in understanding the differences between grass-fed and grain-fed cows is The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan. FWIW, my husband agrees with you that grass-fed beef doesn't taste good, but I think a lot of it has to do with the lack of information and education about how to cook it.
ApatheticNoMore
8-24-24, 4:53pm
Well also that beef just sounds bad. I like grass fed beef (I don't eat a ton of red meat to begin with). But although it can be, there is no guarantee that just because it's grass fed it's going to be good quality. Other things matter, percentage fat, gristle, pink slime (sorry), how finely it is ground etc..
iris lilies
8-25-24, 2:07pm
We get beef from DH’s brother on his family farm. Those cows are fed a mix of grass and grain. We really like this product.
frugal-one
8-25-24, 4:15pm
Grass-fed beef is typically leaner with less fat and marbeling and requires slightly different cooking methods. But for many reasons, grass-fed is better because cows raised and "finished" on grass rather than grain are usually treated more humanely (i.e., raised in pastures rather than concentrated feedlots). Also, while there is no proof that grass-fed is healthier for you, it does have a higher concentration of omega-3's, which are very good for you.
A really great book if you are interested in understanding the differences between grass-fed and grain-fed cows is The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan. FWIW, my husband agrees with you that grass-fed beef doesn't taste good, but I think a lot of it has to do with the lack of information and education about how to cook it.
I understand what grass fed beef is. That was not the issue…. ground meat no matter should be able to crumble and be cooked without large chunks that cannot be broken down. I did take it back this morning without a problem, thankfully.
Biopsy results from last Thursday’s procedure are NEGATIVE! Yay! Happy Snoopy dance time!!
Yay, good news Tradd! Now you can get on with things without that hanging over your head!
Oops - I put this one the wrong thread.
early morning
8-29-24, 11:23am
Well, whatever thread you post this in, I think we all agree - GOOD news! :cool:
Well, whatever thread you post this in, I think we all agree - GOOD news! :cool:
Haha! Thanks! I’m still having pain(cramps). Sometimes the Motrin doesn’t do it. Had to leave at lunchtime yesterday as I needed to commune with my heating pad.
My tracfone, Lg has quit letting me connect to the internet.It keeps disconnecting it. I have spent at least 10-15 hours troubleshooting and am done! I reset the phone and it didn't fix it...So I plan to get another tracfone but not sure which to choose- this one has been fine and my husband's phone is fine, no internet issues. I put in the wifi network and it keeps disconnecting. I've tried adding a network using the xfinity ssid and password. no go. Even stripped down the phone does work as a phone and texts and even brings up some email. But because I stripped it down I cannot seem to get more than one email account on it. I may keep trying, but new phone is the new plan.
rosarugosa
9-2-24, 11:23am
My tracfone, Lg has quit letting me connect to the internet.It keeps disconnecting it. I have spent at least 10-15 hours troubleshooting and am done! I reset the phone and it didn't fix it...So I plan to get another tracfone but not sure which to choose- this one has been fine and my husband's phone is fine, no internet issues. I put in the wifi network and it keeps disconnecting. I've tried adding a network using the xfinity ssid and password. no go. Even stripped down the phone does work as a phone and texts and even brings up some email. But because I stripped it down I cannot seem to get more than one email account on it. I may keep trying, but new phone is the new plan.
I recently thought I was going to have to replace my phone. My text message app stopped working, so I installed another messaging app, but I didn't like it. I gave it another try with the original app though, and it has been working ever since, so I'm not replacing my phone just yet. However, I did do some phone research and was strongly considering the Samsung A14 or A15, both on Tracfone for a reasonable price.
iris lilies
9-2-24, 11:31am
We use Apple SE series phones. They are the smaller, cheaper line of Apple phones, although of course since they are Apple they aren’t cheap.
My tracfone, Lg has quit letting me connect to the internet.It keeps disconnecting it. I have spent at least 10-15 hours troubleshooting and am done! I reset the phone and it didn't fix it...So I plan to get another tracfone but not sure which to choose- this one has been fine and my husband's phone is fine, no internet issues. I put in the wifi network and it keeps disconnecting. I've tried adding a network using the xfinity ssid and password. no go. Even stripped down the phone does work as a phone and texts and even brings up some email. But because I stripped it down I cannot seem to get more than one email account on it. I may keep trying, but new phone is the new plan.
How old is your phone?
ToomuchStuff
9-2-24, 5:50pm
You also need to know what service you have as not all cell phones are cross brands. I use a much heavier duty phone (one place called it a military grade smart phone) but it tends to be across t mobile platforms.
A 62 yo friend has been out of work for about 4 months. She got laid off when her company got bought out by another. She's not had a lot of luck getting interviews. She's a business analyst/can do accounting. She just turned down an interview because they wanted to do it in person. Job is hybrid. I mean, really? How picky is that?
A 62 yo friend has been out of work for about 4 months. Maybe she secretly wants to retire.
Maybe she secretly wants to retire.
She says she can't afford to. Keeps telling me she's worried about money. Yet, she turns down an interview simply because they want to do it in person.
I don't know what she wants. Her last job was high paying. Well over $100K. All I have to go on is what she's telling me.
She says she can't afford to. Keeps telling me she's worried about money. Yet, she turns down an interview simply because they want to do it in person.
I don't know what she wants. Her last job was high paying. Well over $100K. All I have to go on is what she's telling me.
I have to admit I get really aggravated by people who want something but are not willing to put in the time and work to get it. She turns down in-person interviews??
I have to admit I get really aggravated by people who want something but are not willing to put in the time and work to get it. She turns down in-person interviews??
Yes, has this thing that first interview should on the phone or a video call. When I tell her this is the way things used to be, she tells me to get with the times. She’s also very against having to work full time in an office again. Her last job was officially hybrid, but she would go weeks without having to visit the office.
Employees expectations are out of wack. A lot of people really sound like entitled snowflakes. Demand remote work for jobs that are posted as in office. Don’t want to work a fixed schedule. Demand flex time. Pretty much think they can come and go as they please. A friend runs an independent insurance agent office. They still have a lot of in office traffic so needed someone new to work in the office. Friend told me everyone wanted to work remote - for a job that deals in person with the public.
People think jobs are plentiful and employers desperate like they were a couple of years ago. That might be the case in certain industries, but for other jobs, it’s back to being an employer’s market. I hear stories from many people who say they’re having a hard time getting interviews. Sooner or later, people are going to run out of savings if they’re unemployed and will have to take whatever they can get. Picky picky special snowflakes.
About a month ago, I had to replace my windshield due to two cracks that were starting to spread. Yesterday, my new windshield took a direct hit and cracked. UGH!!! Luckily it's on the passenger side so it will be awhile before I feel the need to get it fixed. I will be so happy come January when I will have my 30 years in and qualify for a pension so I can start looking for a job closer to home and never have to drive on I495 again.
iris lilies
9-10-24, 8:11am
That pension will be worth it. Hang in there!
That pension will be worth it. Hang in there!
I am but it's a daily struggle. I am really hoping to stay at the same place but just move to a different section. Would still have to make the long commute but I won't be in the toxic work environment I am now (of course I thought the last time when I switched sections back in 2017 and it soon got just as bad as the last one). Plus the longer I stay, the more my pension will be. I honestly don't mind the commute but not having such a long commute would be nice too.
9/11
Never forget and never, ever forgive.
I might have to do jury duty next month. I am really hoping working for the Police disqualifies me quickly.
Sooooooo sick of lies & misinformation...the internet will be the downfall of humanity.
rosarugosa
10-6-24, 6:59am
Sooooooo sick of lies & misinformation...the internet will be the downfall of humanity.
I'm with you on this one. Some of the crap I'm seeing posted about the hurricane just boggles the mind.
I’m sick of the whining from FL people about another hurricane coming their way (Milton). You chose to live there. Don’t like the storms, MOVE!
I get that you like the weather, but you’re stupid if you think the rest of us are going to keep paying for your disaster relief or feds pay for mitigation measures.
I’m sick of the whining from FL people about another hurricane coming their way (Milton). You chose to live there. Don’t like the storms, MOVE!
I get that you like the weather, but you’re stupid if you think the rest of us are going to keep paying for your disaster relief or feds pay for mitigation measures.
It's hard to move when you've been somewhere a long time or have family a certain place. On the other hand, people who actually move there, like to retire in The Villages or whatever, may regret the choice. I'd think insurance will be a financial obstacle or people will need to self insure, if it's not already that way. I have friends who moved there for retirement a couple of years ago and I tried subtly to express some worries to them. I think there are still some people who are still stuck in "there is a no climate change" mentality.
News was saying that less than 10% of the population in Ashville have flood insurance and FEMA only pays a mere pittance of what would be needed to fully recover.
It's hard to move when you've been somewhere a long time or have family a certain place. On the other hand, people who actually move there, like to retire in The Villages or whatever, may regret the choice. I'd think insurance will be a financial obstacle or people will need to self insure, if it's not already that way. I have friends who moved there for retirement a couple of years ago and I tried subtly to express some worries to them. I think there are still some people who are still stuck in "there is a no climate change" mentality.
News was saying that less than 10% of the population in Ashville have flood insurance and FEMA only pays a mere pittance of what would be needed to fully recover.
I know plenty of people who retired to FL or moved down in the last five years or so. I’ve been seeing older people I know say on FB that they will have to sell because they can no longer afford even their homeowners insurance. Lots of these folks are very close to the water and near Tampa.
I’m steaming. I know a local family through Buy Nothing group. The mother has picked up multiple small housewares items from me over the past 6 months. The mother made a few comments that made me think they were struggling. We’ve become somewhat friends and will chat via text. She was very venting about their situation The husband has medical issues and can’t work. She was trying to keep their single car from being repoed. She works 1.5 jobs. Husband was tried to get disability but was refused first time. They’re working with a lawyer for a second try. One of the kids has medical issues. In and out of the hospital. She told me she had cobbled three credit cards together for groceries. I sent her $100 for groceries.
I told her I would like to help with holiday meals and gifts for the kids. She didn’t want to take the help but was very thankful. I messaged a number of local friends who I know to be charitable and asked them if they would like to help. I got lots of “tell her to get a job.” Even without looking I knew those people were all Trump fans. A few were even practicing Christians. Others are helping and the family will have a nice holiday, but what happened with just saying “no, I can’t right now.”
happystuff
10-27-24, 9:26am
Sounds like those few "Christians" need a lot more practice!
It's sad how mean people can be to each other. Kudos to you and others for stepping up and helping - even if just a little.
early morning
10-27-24, 9:31am
Tradd, what you are doing is wonderful. But so many people right now (and maybe for always, but I didn't notice??) are in grievance mode. They see anything anyone else gets as taking from them, it seems. From your description, the family you're helping is not taking advantage of anyone. I hope the husband is able to get disability if eligible. We had to resort to a lawyer for DH to get his, SS's first response is almost always NO.
*disclaimer: I do not claim to be Christian, but I have read/studied the Bible. I don't see how a "practicing" Christian could automatically refuse to assist those in need, if they have the means to help. It seems to me that those persons are CINOs. Clearly they need more practice in being followers of Christ.
catherine
10-27-24, 9:41am
Wow. Interesting that the people who said "tell her to get a job" assumed she didn't already have 1.5 jobs, plus carrying for a husband and children single-handedly. What those people, and many others, don't understand is that it is darn near impossible to support a family on one income. (haha, coincidentally, I have Meet the Press on in the background and Bernie is echosing exact same thing I just said).
In my experience, I've learned that most people don't know what it is like to live on the edge, especially with a family. It is not easy, and without "angels" like you, Tradd, day-to-day life is an incredible struggle. Those "get a job" people need to have a Trading Places experience.
And you're right, a simple, "I can't right now" would do.
The Christians who did the “get a job” thing are all evangelicals. People from MY church are helping, Walmart/Target gift cards. I told them even $20 would be a help.
Seems the evangelicals like to donate to foreign missions and nothing local.
Forgot to add, women’s elderly mother lives with them. She has her own income social security. Pays part of rent, etc. Because of her living with the family, they can’t get heating assistance OR snap (food stamps). I just didn’t buy groceries because there are a lot of food allergies in the family. They know their needs best, which is why I sent the $100 for groceries.
iris lilies
10-27-24, 9:58am
Tradd, what you are doing is wonderful. But so many people right now (and maybe for always, but I didn't notice??) are in grievance mode. They see anything anyone else gets as taking from them, it seems. From your description, the family you're helping is not taking advantage of anyone. I hope the husband is able to get disability if eligible. We had to resort to a lawyer for DH to get his, SS's first response is almost always NO.
*disclaimer: I do not claim to be Christian, but I have read/studied the Bible. I don't see how a "practicing" Christian could automatically refuse to assist those in need, if they have the means to help. It seems to me that those persons are CINOs. Clearly they need more practice in being followers of Christ.
I am not a practicing Christian (understatement!) but I think it is perfectly reasonable to NOT give to every request that comes my way.
I have defined areas of charitable giving. Not everyone with their hands out gets my money.
I am not a practicing Christian (understatement!) but I think it is perfectly reasonable to NOT give to every request that comes my way.
I have defined areas of charitable giving. Not everyone with their hands out gets my money.
IL, “I can’t right now” is a perfectly acceptable answer. The far righters I see online are very much into “bootstraps” aka deal with it on your own. Not only are they against welfare, some are even against private charity. They don’t care about things like illness, etc.
iris lilies
10-27-24, 12:18pm
IL, “I can’t right now” is a perfectly acceptable answer. The far righters I see online are very much into “bootstraps” aka deal with it on your own. Not only are they against welfare, some are even against private charity. They don’t care about things like illness, etc.
Literally “I can’t right now” would not be accurate for me. Sometimes I am able to truthfully say to panhandlers “ I don’t have any money” because I usually do not carry cash.
I would never tell people in financial trouble to get a job even tho I might think it.:) In this case a job is not the issue anyway.
But we all run into cases of financial need so taking care of our immediate circle of influence is important.
I think it is great that you are helping out someone with whom you have a personal relationship, but if I were your friend, I probably wouldn’t contribute because this lady is not in my circle and also doesn’t fit my defined program of charitable giving, the latter of which doesn’t include much in the way of helping humans.
catherine
10-27-24, 12:44pm
IL, “I can’t right now” is a perfectly acceptable answer. The far righters I see online are very much into “bootstraps” aka deal with it on your own. Not only are they against welfare, some are even against private charity. They don’t care about things like illness, etc.
The whole New Testament is about helping people in need--people who don't fit into society's standards--the tax collector, the prostitute, the sick and disabled. I'm not even a practicing Christian anymore, but at least I understand that.
iris lilies
10-27-24, 5:45pm
The whole New Testament is about helping people in need--people who don't fit into society's standards--the tax collector, the prostitute, the sick and disabled. I'm not even a practicing Christian anymore, but at least I understand that.
A couple of times in the past decade I donated to people who presented a case repugnant to me. I figured it was good for my soul.
Isnt that the lesson in the Bible, give to the causes that do not give you satisfaction?
So maybe, once a year at least, I should give to a cause that is HARD to give to.
catherine
10-27-24, 6:03pm
A couple of times in the past decade I donated to people who presented a case repugnant to me. I figured it was good for my soul.
Isnt that the lesson in the Bible, give to the causes that do not give you satisfaction?
So maybe, once a year at least, I should give to a cause that is HARD to give to.
I think the spirit of that is more "Don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing." In other words, don't give for self-satisfaction.
One year our church Mission Committee, in the service of "doing good" for the local community, collected toys for a desingnated family and wrapped them and then a committee of three went to the home of the needy family to present them. When they received less than an ebullent reception for the good works, they were miffed. They came back and said, "They didn't even say thank you!" That's a case of someone doing something good to make THEM feel good.
It may have been more "Christian" to simply and silently mail a check to the family at Christmastime. But that's just IMHO. I think three people standing on my doorstep with presents for my kids that I couldn't afford would make me feel more shame than gratitude.
Literally “I can’t right now” would not be accurate for me. Sometimes I am able to truthfully say to panhandlers “ I don’t have any money” because I usually do not carry cash.
I would never tell people in financial trouble to get a job even tho I might think it.:) In this case a job is not the issue anyway.
But we all run into cases of financial need so taking care of our immediate circle of influence is important.
I think it is great that you are helping out someone with whom you have a personal relationship, but if I were your friend, I probably wouldn’t contribute because this lady is not in my circle and also doesn’t fit my defined program of charitable giving, the latter of which doesn’t include much in the way of helping humans.
No is also an acceptable answer. Being a jerk and saying the person has to get a job is what has pissed me off so much.
I think the spirit of that is more "Don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing." In other words, don't give for self-satisfaction.
One year our church Mission Committee, in the service of "doing good" for the local community, collected toys for a desingnated family and wrapped them and then a committee of three went to the home of the needy family to present them. When they received less than an ebullent reception for the good works, they were miffed. They came back and said, "They didn't even say thank you!" That's a case of someone doing something good to make THEM feel good.
It may have been more "Christian" to simply and silently mail a check to the family at Christmastime. But that's just IMHO. I think three people standing on my doorstep with presents for my kids that I couldn't afford would make me feel more shame than gratitude.
In the mid-90s, I was an active member of a Jaycee chapter in a Detroit suburb. We had a very profitable haunted house that funded a large Thanksgiving basket program. We got the family names from the school district. Everyone got free lunch. We called the families and asked them if they wanted a T’giving basket. If they said yes, we delivered it the Saturday before Thanksgiving to their house. We made notes of how we were treated, how the house looked, etc. Thumbs up or thumbs down for the Christmas basket program, where we also took the kids shopping at a discount store (Meijer) and then to McD for lunch.
If people weren’t what I called “appropriately appreciative” or rude when we were delivering the Thanksgiving baskets, they did not make the cut for Christmas. We had some people yelling and swearing at us. Being jerks in general and a few had an entitled attitude.
happystuff
10-28-24, 9:07am
One can say "no" and still be compassionate. I can't/don't/won't give to everyone or every organization that contacts me or stands outside the grocery store. I do what I can, when I can and I try to do so without judgement. (Key word here is "try"!) Giving - of anything - is such a personal thing and everyone has their own reasons and motivations. The hope is that, ultimately, goodness prevails.
In re-reading that, it sounds a little preachy and I certainly don't mean it that way. With the holiday season coming up, these situations will be arising more and more.
One can say "no" and still be compassionate. I can't/don't/won't give to everyone or every organization that contacts me or stands outside the grocery store. I do what I can, when I can and I try to do so without judgement. (Key word here is "try"!) Giving - of anything - is such a personal thing and everyone has their own reasons and motivations. The hope is that, ultimately, goodness prevails.
In re-reading that, it sounds a little preachy and I certainly don't mean it that way. With the holiday season coming up, these situations will be arising more and more.
It’s the being a jerk that has me steaming. “Get a job!” is not compassionate.
catherine
10-28-24, 10:20am
It’s the being a jerk that has me steaming. “Get a job!” is not compassionate.
Absolutely.
ToomuchStuff
10-28-24, 12:19pm
It’s the being a jerk that has me steaming. “Get a job!” is not compassionate.
Now you have Sha na na going through my brain.
happystuff
10-28-24, 1:35pm
It’s the being a jerk that has me steaming. “Get a job!” is not compassionate.
Totally agree!
Now you have Sha na na going through my brain.
That made me laugh.
I'm mad at myself for having miscounted the number of PT sessions I'm allowed under my BlueCross Plan. I am alloted 20 visits per year and accidently did 21, miscounting the number of sessions I had at my PT place in Santa Fe earlier in the year.
Now I will be on the hook for $224. That's in addition to the $2,771.23 that I owe to other various medical bills. When one is not working this is a big deal. Right now I am paying about $175 every month towards this medical debt while I wait to see if I will be approved for SSDI.
I just needed to vent; really, I am mad at myself for screwing up but it has been a difficult year to coordinate all the stuff that is going on.
happystuff
10-31-24, 12:10pm
Vent away, SiouzQ. Sorry that it happened, especially with everything else you have going on.
I'm mad at myself for having miscounted the number of PT sessions I'm allowed under my BlueCross Plan. I am alloted 20 visits per year and accidently did 21, miscounting the number of sessions I had at my PT place in Santa Fe earlier in the year.
Now I will be on the hook for $224. That's in addition to the $2,771.23 that I owe to other various medical bills. When one is not working this is a big deal. Right now I am paying about $175 every month towards this medical debt while I wait to see if I will be approved for SSDI.
I just needed to vent; really, I am mad at myself for screwing up but it has been a difficult year to coordinate all the stuff that is going on.
Ugh. Sorry to hear. Vent away!
Bronchitis! Ugh! Started with a sore throat last Thursday/Friday. Went home from work both days as I had a general malaise. Stayed in all weekend and was fine. Dry hacky cough started Monday at work. Stayed home yesterday. Didn't have any files with me so I couldn't do much work, so I just went through my emails. Did a telehealth through my doc group at 4am. Rx were sent to my pharmacy and I just picked them up. Staying home again today. I've had so little sleep I couldn't work from home if I wanted to,
frugal-one
11-6-24, 2:15pm
Bronchitis! Ugh! Started with a sore throat last Thursday/Friday. Went home from work both days as I had a general malaise. Stayed in all weekend and was fine. Dry hacky cough started Monday at work. Stayed home yesterday. Didn't have any files with me so I couldn't do much work, so I just went through my emails. Did a telehealth through my doc group at 4am. Rx were sent to my pharmacy and I just picked them up. Staying home again today. I've had so little sleep I couldn't work from home if I wanted to,
Hope you feel better soon!
happystuff
11-6-24, 7:08pm
I'm so sorry, Tradd. I hope the meds kick in quickly and you are feeling better soon.
ToomuchStuff
11-7-24, 7:51pm
My daily rant. So I am trying to get closed on this house, and it has been a pain in my butt. Yes the advantage is over 50% equity, but family threw away paperwork I needed (trying to help by "cleaning your house", FO), and causing some other issues. *yet there pushing for me to get it done*
So I finally signed up for online banking with my CU. It's so much different then the bank I deal with for work, sucks to feel I have to relearn everything. Took me several tries to get signed up for bank statements online, due to hidden checks (why not have a tutorial somewhere?). So due to my neuropathy, I can barely type a lot of days. And when things are obfuscated, I can't always tell when I have done something like hit two keys, or hit the caps lock. So my account got locked.
Now to my rant, I tried to contact my CU through their contact us page on the website, that says they will get back in 24 hours. After five days of trying, and multiple times, I stopped in today.
They don't even know where that email goes to, let alone how often it is checked.
Why even have it on their website then?
ToomuchStuff: I commiserate with your issues with the CU. While I generally like ours, even visits result in errors. My husband cannot create or maintain our CDs online so we often have to visit to change a CD to get better return or something. Even when he writes it down, something seems to happen. In the last visit, they had just changed (again) their electronic systems and even the customer service rep could not get the electronic signature feature to work. I finally snapped and told them I was leaving and they could mail an actual paper document to me "when they figured it out". At that point 3 assistors were trying to figure out their system. I only wanted to create 2 CDs. Nothing fancy.
Previously, it was a simple matter of a few inputs and a Docusign electronic form sent to my phone for signature. Easy and fast. Not any more. Sigh.
Adding to the rant: We made the appointment to get our new car with a cash purchase. They should have had everything ready to go. Took about 2+ hours and I was furious. Not at the salesman but the office staff for not being ready and then wasting our time upselling things we clearly did not want.
iris lilies
11-11-24, 11:53pm
I hate how complicated Facebook is.
I had to sit down and figure out how to see who administers two business pages I now run. Getting there was stupidly complicated.
Just a generalized rant that we are approaching the hardest time of the year, when it gets so cold. You wake up and look out the window at the thermometer and it is 10 below zero. A lot.
happystuff
11-15-24, 10:06am
The contract was ratified and - in my personal opinion - I got screwed. Everyone said that this contract would negotiate a higher starting wage, which would have bumped me up to a more reasonable hourly rate for the job I'm doing. Well, nobody told the negotiators. I started at less than $18/hr and, even after over three years, I'm STILL making less than $18/hr. Just found out yesterday so sad to say I'm still really angry and feel like nobody has my back at this job. Was ready to walk out. Breaking out my calendar and starting to figure out what days I will be taking to use up EVERYTHING before retirement!
The contract was ratified and - in my personal opinion - I got screwed. Everyone said that this contract would negotiate a higher starting wage, which would have bumped me up to a more reasonable hourly rate for the job I'm doing. Well, nobody told the negotiators. I started at less than $18/hr and, even after over three years, I'm STILL making less than $18/hr. Just found out yesterday so sad to say I'm still really angry and feel like nobody has my back at this job. Was ready to walk out. Breaking out my calendar and starting to figure out what days I will be taking to use up EVERYTHING before retirement!
That's a bummer, but you are by all intents and purposes outta there and on to better things! I hear you about raises--I'm working at a place where I have not gotten a raise in 16 years. Hard not to think I am a masochist for staying at all, but it's convenient.
USE UP ALL YOUR TIME!!
iris lilies
11-15-24, 10:44am
I am so sorry to hear this, happystuff. Bad, indeed. You are an excellent employee and they will miss you.
rosarugosa
11-16-24, 8:27am
That sucks, Happystuff. I'm sorry.
catherine
11-16-24, 11:21am
Geez, happystuff, that's terrible! Your time is worth so much more than that.
ToomuchStuff
11-16-24, 11:49am
Time to send the union negotiators a note and tell them their screwup, should cause them to bump up your salary.
happystuff
11-16-24, 12:10pm
Time to send the union negotiators a note and tell them their screwup, should cause them to bump up your salary.
I know one or two of the negotiators. They know they screwed up and there is no re-doing. And the BA of the school WILL NOT bump up my salary. Apparently, she is the one NOT hiring full time to fill position, but instead using part time - to avoid paying benefits. This place is going down hill fast!!!
Edited to add: I feel a bit guilty and apprehensive as this is the first time I've ever done anything like this, but... one of the co-workers was out yesterday and the supervisor did not get a sub. Supervisor never spoke to me at all even though he saw I was right in the same hallway. Anyway, he told the other night person that the guy was out and that we had to clean his areas. When my co-worker informed me, I told him - No. I have my own 8-hour shift work to do and don't have time for extra. I told him since he was acting as middle-man for the supervisor, he could feel free to tell the supervisor I said so.
Have no clue what the co-worker did, except that HE cleaned the areas and I did not. For the record, co-worker gets paid WAY more than I do.
ToomuchStuff
11-19-24, 11:49pm
Well, several today. Someone called and wanted to book a party on a day we are closed. Then proceeded to say, that is why they thought we would book a party, because we are closed and not using it, and she thought I would pay someone to go open the place, so they could use the dining room for free, with their own food. I had to explain there is a reason we are closed Monday's, so I can have my Chemo and not die.
Second crazy person, I don't even remember right now due to third person visit.....
Third person came in to tell me about my late bosses stepkid. Now we both fought over his mom, and he told me that I won and he lost as he married the crazy broad, but anyway, the 30 year old stepkid, killed himself. I'm kind of besides myself as I watched the kids grow up.
iris lilies
11-20-24, 12:03am
Tragic news, TMS. It is always so sad when a young person dies, especially by their own hand,
catherine
11-20-24, 9:49am
So horribly tragic, TMS. I'm so sorry.
happystuff
11-20-24, 10:15am
Oh my goodness, tms! I'm so sorry for everything!
frugal-one
11-20-24, 4:31pm
Sorry to hear tms!
Tried calling doc office today and got call center even though office was open. Requested call be forwarded to doc office… waited 5 minutes … and was told no one is answering. So, I went to doc without appointment and based on symptoms.. immediately seen and sent to another doc where again immediately seen. Appointment made for next week to yet another doc for a situation that, apparently, needs to be resolved sooner than later. The protocol here in the south obviously is not the same as in the north. This does not instill confidence….
Frugal, I hear you and that is really frustrating, but I don't think it's a north-south thing since it is exactly the same here in Maine, about as north as you can get. I think it's more a medically underserved area problem.
frugal-one
11-22-24, 3:51pm
oh, Tybee, I am sorry to hear this is not isolated. Covid really messed up the world.
TMS, I’m so sorry.
Tybee, I loathe when I get the call center for hospital group even when the office is open, too. If something isn’t urgent, I will send a message through the portal.
catherine
11-22-24, 9:48pm
oh, Tybee, I am sorry to hear this is not isolated. Covid really messed up the world.
I don't even think it was COVID. I think Tybee is right. I get a drastically different experience here in VT than I did in NJ where we were surrounded by at least 4 academic teaching hospitals and hundreds of private practices. DH got superior medical care in NJ. He gets good care here, too, but in NJ it was like everyone was showering him with medical interventions whether he wanted them or not.
And BIL, who has been on Medicaid, also got superior care while in NJ for his congestive heart failure. They gave him cardiac rehab and they would slip him months' worth of expensive drug samples like Entresto and Farxiga. OTOH, his doctor up here in VT has done nada for him except tell him to watch his blood pressure.
And I've told you about my struggles to get even ONE comprehensive blood test.
frugal-one
11-22-24, 10:51pm
TMS, I’m so sorry.
Tybee, I loathe when I get the call center for hospital group even when the office is open, too. If something isn’t urgent, I will send a message through the portal.
Sadly, here they do not have messages through the portal. I would have done that if it was available.
Sadly, here they do not have messages through the portal. I would have done that if it was available.
Sorry, I addressed my comment to Tybee, not you.
This isn’t directed at you, but I can’t tell you how many people I know who moved from big metro areas out to the sticks and then are surprised the same amenities aren’t available in the sticks. Good health care, shopping that’s closer than 30 min away, shopping that isn’t just Walmart. Faster Amazon deliveries, etc.
You (general you) made the choice to move there and you didn’t bother investigating what was available locally.
iris lilies
11-23-24, 11:33am
I am VERY happy with the medical services of our tiny rural town.
I Have a direct care physician—easy to access.
Our little hospital is 5 minutes up the road. The surgeon took care of DH’s burst appendix just fine as did the hospital staff.
Our county health department nearby gives cheap vaccinations.
We have not one, but TWO pharmacies in town.
Granted, we have not had serious health problems and would likely be sent to St.Louis for that.
IL, you’re in a cute little town, which seems to make a difference. Imagine living 30-60 minutes outside town.
frugal-one
11-23-24, 6:10pm
Sorry, I addressed my comment to Tybee, not you.
This isn’t directed at you, but I can’t tell you how many people I know who moved from big metro areas out to the sticks and then are surprised the same amenities aren’t available in the sticks. Good health care, shopping that’s closer than 30 min away, shopping that isn’t just Walmart. Faster Amazon deliveries, etc.
You (general you) made the choice to move there and you didn’t bother investigating what was available locally.
Wow! I am the one who wrote the original post that tybee answered. FYI... I did not move out in the sticks. I live in a community of over 90,000 with cities next to us that are about 300,000. There is a grocery store literally next door and Costco is about 2 miles away. Shopping is all around us. I did investigate what was here. There are 3 large groups of medical entities that encompass all types of services since this area is composed of 4 metro areas. Your nastiness is unwarranted.
Wow! I am the one who wrote the original post that tybee answered. FYI... I did not move out in the sticks. I live in a community of over 90,000 with cities next to us that are about 300,000. There is a grocery store literally next door and Costco is about 2 miles away. Shopping is all around us. I did investigate what was here. There are 3 large groups of medical entities that encompass all types of services since this area is composed of 4 metro areas. Your nastiness is unwarranted.
This was not directed at anyone here. It’s people I know IRL.
I ended up having to work all weekend due to someone else's incompetence. Import department that gets docs from customers and passes them along to my customs department had docs for several weeks on a certain customer, but didn't do squat with them. Coworker off for a week beginning last Wednesday. The incompetent person dumped docs for about 20 files on me on Wednesday. Coworker handles this customer. He could have done these before he left if we had been sent the docs timely. I was livid. Sent off an email to my manager, who is also over the import department. He totally backed me. The whole thing went up to the owners. I had to work a full day from home on Friday, which was supposed to be an off day. The office is closed that day. I also had my own stuff I had brought home with me since Wednesday was so busy. So in addition to full day on Friday, I had to do three hours yesterday and about two hours today.
I am so peeved.
happystuff
12-2-24, 9:34am
That stinks, Tradd. Sorry it messed with your holiday weekend.
Got a text from one of our salesmen at work wanting me to look something up in the system. The office closed at noon. I’m the only one who answered, but I reminded him I was on vacation and just said I wasn’t home. I had the idea for him to email our India office as they could look up whatever it is.
The crap my wife and I go through with one neighbor. My wife is a pre op MTF transsexual and I crossdress part time. This neighbor harasses the crap out of us and we both hate it. Our other neighbors have had enough of it as well of her doing this to us, they see us just like any normal couple and behind us 100%. Have called the cops on her a few times and she has been taken to jail every time. They had enough of it as well getting called out. Her son and daughter, they are talking putting her in a home since she has dementia bad and getting to the point she cannot take care of herself selling the house
iris lilies
12-27-24, 7:40pm
The crap my wife and I go through with one neighbor. My wife is a pre op MTF transsexual and I crossdress part time. This neighbor harasses the crap out of us and we both hate it. Our other neighbors have had enough of it as well of her doing this to us, they see us just like any normal couple and behind us 100%. Have called the cops on her a few times and she has been taken to jail every time. They had enough of it as well getting called out. Her son and daughter, they are talking putting her in a home since she has dementia bad and getting to the point she cannot take care of herself selling the house
That is too bad to have such a problematic neighbor. What does she do to warrant going to jail?
That is too bad to have such a problematic neighbor. What does she do to warrant going to jail?
slapped the cop in the face and we witnessed it called assault on a police officer
iris lilies
12-27-24, 8:04pm
slapped the cop in the face and we witnessed it called assault on a police officer
Hooo boy, assaulting a police officer will do it.
Went through a procedure to correct a possible life threatening situation. Turns out I have a birth defect that will not correct the situation. Putting me on toxic drugs. Time to get affairs in order.
iris lilies
1-9-25, 9:34pm
Went through a procedure to correct a possible life threatening situation. Turns out I have a birth defect that will not correct the situation. Putting me on toxic drugs. Time to get affairs in order.
Oh my! Shocking to hear, so sorry.
Went through a procedure to correct a possible life threatening situation. Turns out I have a birth defect that will not correct the situation. Putting me on toxic drugs. Time to get affairs in order.
Oh, no, so sorry to hear!
Tomorrow will mark two Fridays since our trash company has picked up everyone's trash. My can is full and bags are having to be stacked on top like a game of Tetris. I really hope it get picks up tomorrow. I am also sure our neighbors are sick of looking at our can and the trash bags piling up.
iris lilies
1-9-25, 10:43pm
Tomorrow will mark two Fridays since our trash company has picked up everyone's trash. My can is full and bags are having to be stacked on top like a game of Tetris. I really hope it get picks up tomorrow. I am also sure our neighbors are sick of looking at our can and the trash bags piling up.
Bless our garbage guys. They came by today to pick up our garbage despite the snow dumped on us a few days ago. Streets are still bad and driveways are very bad . It’s not that we got that much snow so much as we got snow plus terrible sleet and ice.
rosarugosa
1-10-25, 7:37am
Oh no, Frugal-one. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Praying for you, Frugal-one, and so sorry you are going through this.
happystuff
1-10-25, 10:03am
Oh my! Shocking to hear, so sorry.
Oh, my goodness! Sending prayers and hoping there will be positive changes for you!
frugal-one
1-10-25, 11:37am
Thank you for the kind words and prayers.
early morning
1-10-25, 11:40am
So sorry to hear, frugal-one! sending all the good vibes I can muster.
The harassment my good friend Marissa's brother in law puts my wife and I through. She is few up too with it and sees us like any couple. Wife is a pre op MTF transsexual which she decided not to have the GRS and I see her happy supporting her decision. Marissa sees us like any normal couple and her brother in law Jon is always calling my wife a freak and thinks I am gay which I am not. It is getting to the point Marissa is going to talk to her husband, sister in law and his parents on this soon.
iris lilies
1-13-25, 4:07pm
The harassment my good friend Marissa's brother in law puts my wife and I through. She is few up too with it and sees us like any couple. Wife is a pre op MTF transsexual which she decided not to have the GRS and I see her happy supporting her decision. Marissa sees us like any normal couple and her brother in law Jon is always calling my wife a freak and thinks I am gay which I am not. It is getting to the point Marissa is going to talk to her husband, sister in law and his parents on this soon.
it is too bad you and your wife are getting grief.
I’m kind of surprised you use the term “transsexual “which is seen these days as dated and often offensive. Are you ok with “transgender?” Buck Angel uses “ transsexual” deliberately, but he is an old guy and admits to that.
I guess I would use the term “ trans” if I was in a room with opposite-sex identifying people just to keep it simple and avoid conflict.
it is too bad you and your wife are getting grief.
I’m kind of surprised you use the term “transsexual “which is seen these days as dated and often offensive. Are you ok with “transgender?” Buck Angel uses “ transsexual” deliberately, but he is an old guy and admits to that.
I guess I would use the term “ trans” if I was in a room with opposite-sex identifying people just to keep it simple and avoid conflict.
Trans,
Bless our garbage guys. They came by today to pick up our garbage despite the snow dumped on us a few days ago. Streets are still bad and driveways are very bad . It’s not that we got that much snow so much as we got snow plus terrible sleet and ice.
They ended up coming on Saturday. Found out the first Friday they missed was because the driver has a "favorite" truck and it was broken down and he didn't want to take the other one. So instead he leaves people with over-flowing cans sitting at the curb for two weeks. I managed to play a mean game of Tetris with our trash bags and had quite the tower going. Other people just started throwing bags on the ground which were then torn apart by raccoons. Hence why I didn't want any of ours on the ground.
frugal-one
1-14-25, 10:45pm
It has been a very tough week! My brother went into the hospital yesterday. He is 1700 miles away. I talked to him yesterday but could not get a hold of him today so I called the hospital direct instead of his cell. Turns out he was in surgery. Doctor called just a few minutes later and informed me I needed to make the decision to pull the plug. He had no pulse and was not breathing on his own. They asked me because, unbeknownst to me, he made me power of attorney. I told them to remove machines. I was told he died quietly a few minutes later. I called his estranged son and asked him to take over arrangements. His estranged wife called and screamed and screamed at me. I did what he would have wanted me to do and that I would want done for me. Talk about heartbreak?
Frugal, I’m so sorry to hear that. Thoughts your way.
Work is incredibly stressful lately. The Indian half of the owners is the major problem. It’s so nice when he’s out of the country or at the other local office.
The new Trump tariffs will make things worse, but we’ll have to wait until Monday to see what happens.
early morning
1-15-25, 8:45am
Oh, frugal-one, I am so sorry you're having to deal with all of that! It's clear that your brother trusted your judgement above all others, and you came through for him as he knew you would.
happystuff
1-15-25, 9:58am
Condolences, frugal-one. I'm sorry for what you have been/are going through.
Frugal-one, I'm so sorry you went through that and so glad you thought to call the hospital--you did what he would have wanted, and it is so hard.
Frugal one, sorry to hear of your problems. I've had a similar dilemma as power of attorney and the objections of others for my choices. It still haunts me a little, but no regrets. Your brother gave you power of attorney because he valued your judgement over others. You did the right thing.
iris lilies
1-15-25, 12:58pm
Frugal-one, thank you for doing this difficult task and doing what your brother would have wanted you to do.
Family situations like this can be so traumatic unnecessarily. I am sorry for your pain. You did what your brother wanted.
I am so sorry, frugal-one. What a position to be put in, but you did the right thing.
frugal-one
1-16-25, 9:53pm
Thank you for your kind words and listening.
My spouse's penchant for over-using things like aluminum foil drives me crazy. All of this was used to reheat 1/2 a breakfast burrito.
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I literally fish it out of the garbage when he is done and put it in my aluminum drink can bin to take into the scrap metal dealer to redeem for cash.
I sometimes buy pies that come with the tins, like Mrs. Callender chocolate, and then keep the tins and use them for things like reheating food or freezing dinners in batches. Some are slightly smaller in diameter and he could put the larger on the bottom and the smaller atop and reheat the burrito that way.
That would be something I would do but my spouse does not have a frugal bone in his body. Sometimes it astounds me that we are even a match but as the old cliche says, opposites attract.
It can get frustrating. Lately I have been sucked into the world of YouTube and because I watched one person doing their "frugal tips", the algorythm gives me everybody and their mother doling out frugal advice. It's kind of interesting for a while because it helps me get back into it but it is very different from when I was single and could do whatever I wanted. Trying to be really frugal when the spouse isn't really on board and a spouse who makes a lot of money is pretty hard. I think if he got laid off, or when he retires it will be a lot easier to get him in to it. But I drop hints here and there - this month I have been tracking how much we spend on his fizzy drinks. The month isn't even over and he's already spent $67. I guess the good thing here is that he doesn't drink alcohol but still, I cannot believe how much he spends on sodas and Bubly water! At the rate we are going, it'll be more like $80 at the end of the month and then times twelve months is a whopping $960 a year on fizzy stuff. He has NO IDEA because he just doesn't think in those terms like I do!
I have always thought it would be difficult to pair up at an older age. We are all pretty set in our ways about certain things. A woman I know (in her 70s) just got a new live-in boyfriend and he is hauling all his stuff over little by little. She complains a lot about his overabundance of stuff and where to put it all.
iris lilies
1-23-25, 4:42pm
In my 70’s I would like my live in boyfriend (fat chance that would ever happen) to live in——-next door to me..
yes, an apartment or duplex unit would fit the bill. Neat, tidy boundaries formed by actual walls.
HappyHiker
1-23-25, 5:02pm
In my 70’s I would like my live in boyfriend (fat chance that would ever happen) to live in——-next door to me..
yes, an apartment or duplex unit would fit the bill. Neat, tidy boundaries formed by actual walls.
Is there not a way to have that happen??
I understand about the neatness factor when two people greatly diverge...I close my eye's when I enter my spouse's office...but the chaos pretty much stays there so it's his domain to have as he sees fit (but it does give me fits..lol).
iris lilies
2-20-25, 2:36pm
I am really tired of scheduling, re scheduling, and re re scheduling meetings around our intermittent snows.
Reaaaaallllly tired of it!
Next year I will tell my groups there will be no meetings in January and February to pre empt that problem.
ToomuchStuff
2-20-25, 2:54pm
I am really tired of scheduling, re scheduling, and re re scheduling meetings around our intermittent snows.
Reaaaaallllly tired of it!
Next year I will tell my groups there will be no meetings in January and February to pre empt that problem.
Just schedule them in Hawaii or somewhere nice and warm.:idea:
iris lilies
2-20-25, 4:26pm
Just schedule them in Hawaii or somewhere nice and warm.:idea:don’t I wish!
IL, I am always wary in the winter of scheduling anything "permanant and no n refundable.
iris lilies
2-25-25, 9:45pm
I am mourning the loss of JoAnn’s Fabric stores across the country. The first report was at certain stores would close and then included the store nearest me, but the store I use in the city of St. Louis would remain open. Then today someone else said no all the stores are closing.
I am truly bummed and even shocked because I don’t know where I’m going to get fabric. Granted, I do sometimes buy fabric online, but that’s not the same as going into a store and seeing large swaths of it displayed.
I am bummed and heartbroken. My tiny town has two fabric stores, but they are for quilters, you know quilting fabric. It’s all that tightly woven small print cotton fabric. That fabric is very nice, but I need more variety.
I am mourning the loss of JoAnn’s Fabric stores across the country. The first report was at certain stores would close and then included the store nearest me, but the store I use in the city of St. Louis would remain open. Then today someone else said no all the stores are closing.
I am truly bummed and even shocked because I don’t know where I’m going to get fabric. Granted, I do sometimes buy fabric online, but that’s not the same as going into a store and seeing large swaths of it displayed.
I am bummed and heartbroken. My tiny town has two fabric stores, but they are for quilters, you know quilting fabric. It’s all that tightly woven small print cotton fabric. That fabric is very nice, but I need more variety.
I agree!! We have a JoAnn's in Burlington, and I shop there fairly regularly. It is really a vestige of the past, though, when people actually made stuff. I went to JoAnn's a lot when I was making my DD's wedding dress, but I frequently found a reason to go for other things.
I also don't know what will replace them. Fabric, by definition, is tactile. It's really difficult to purchase fabric online. I don't even know where people buy fabric, if it's not JoAnn's.
I'll mourn with you, IL.
iris lilies
2-25-25, 10:01pm
I agree!! We have a JoAnn's in Burlington, and I shop there fairly regularly. It is really a vestige of the past, though, when people actually made stuff. I went to JoAnn's a lot when I was making my DD's wedding dress, but I frequently found a reason to go for other things.
I also don't know what will replace them. Fabric, by definition, is tactile. It's really difficult to purchase fabric online. I don't even know where people buy fabric, if it's not JoAnn's.
I'll mourn with you, IL.
hobby lobby, and Michael’s craft stores have a small fabric section, but it is small.
I never minded the rows and rows of cotton quilting fabrics at JoAnn’s because I figured the quilters were keeping the place goingeven though I walked right past those bolts to look for things I needed. and the ribbon section!
The tariff whiplash continues. Unknown if the 25% on Canada/Mexico is will go into effect at the beginning of the month.
rosarugosa
2-26-25, 7:25am
hobby lobby, and Michael’s craft stores have a small fabric section, but it is small.
I never minded the Rose Ann rose of cotton quilting, fabrics, and Joannes because I figured the quilters were keeping the place going. Even though I walked right past those bolts to look for things I needed. and the ribbon section!
If any of you find yourself in my neck of the woods, Zimman's in Lynn is highly regarded:
https://www.zimmans.com/products-and-services/fabrics
hobby lobby, and Michael’s craft stores have a small fabric section, but it is small.
I never minded the Rose Ann rose of cotton quilting, fabrics, and Joannes because I figured the quilters were keeping the place going. Even though I walked right past those bolts to look for things I needed. and the ribbon section!
True. I guess the diehards can also travel to 7th Ave in NYC.
Do you still sew garments, Iris? Or what do you generally buy fabric for?
iris lilies
2-26-25, 11:08am
Do you still sew garments, Iris? Or what do you generally buy fabric for?
I never sew garments. It is all household sewing for me: pillows, window treatments, bedding items, Napkins, table coverings, and a few craft things like doll clothes and flower show backdrops.
I never sew garments. It is all household sewing for me: pillows, window treatments, bedding items, Napkins, table coverings, and a few craft things like doll clothes and flower show backdrops.
I'm pretty much the same way, and honestly, I really haven't been finding much I want or need from Joann for quite some time. For instance, I was looking for real gingham a few years ago and could only find cheapo printed gingham rather than real woven gingham there or at the local craft place. (I was taking a class on Chicken Scratch).
I ended up ordering from Etsy. I purchase a good deal of supplies from that site. I also could only find batiste there.
ETA: I also find good fabrics at our thrift shops.
The last few times I went to a Joann's, their stores were a chaotic mess. We have a 60 yr old fabric store here (one half of it is quilt fabric) that until recently was a time capsule full of musty 1980s upholstery fabric. It has recently been purchased and is slowly being cleaned up. For decor projects, I have good luck with Spoonflower. The quality of their fabric is great so far and shipping is quick.
As part of keeping my job, I have to go to continuing ed type seminars, and lately they have all been about AI and how we should use it more. That is upsetting enough, but in yesterday's seminar, the guy started telling us that we all should be very polite when interacting with AI, that we will get better results if we are polite to it. (I am not making this up.) All I could think of was we were being told to be polite to our eventual overlords, to keep any resistance to its use out of its cumulative "memory" or whatever it has. The worst part was that I navigated away from the screen because I was so irritated, and then it locked me out of the meeting, so I don't know if I will even get the credit for sitting through that drivel.
iris lilies
2-28-25, 10:55am
As part of keeping my job, I have to go to continuing ed type seminars, and lately they have all been about AI and how we should use it more. That is upsetting enough, but in yesterday's seminar, the guy started telling us that we all should be very polite when interacting with AI, that we will get better results if we are polite to it. (I am not making this up.) All I could think of was we were being told to be polite to our eventual overlords, to keep any resistance to its use out of its cumulative "memory" or whatever it has. The worst part was that I navigated away from the screen because I was so irritated, and then it locked me out of the meeting, so I don't know if I will even get the credit for sitting through that drivel.
yikes,Tybee, that would be annoying. I Was exasperated with ChatGPT when I queried some simple facts about the current president of the United States, as I detailed here, and was rude to chatGPT. But really I was not using ChatGPT appropriately. The questions I asked were more appropriate for Google, just simple factual questions. I guess I should use ChatGPT to synthesize information across the Internet and present a coherent response in multiple paragraphs.
how do they want you to use ChatGPT more often?
yikes,Tybee, that would be annoying. I Was exasperated with ChatGPT when I queried some simple facts about the current president of the United States, as I detailed here, and was rude to chatGPT. But really I was not using ChatGPT appropriately. The questions I asked were more appropriate for Google, just simple factual questions. I guess I should use ChatGPT to synthesize information across the Internet and present a coherent response in multiple paragraphs.
how do they want you to use ChatGPT more often?
They actually don't want us using ChatGPT, but rather Microsoft CoPilot because it will "forget" what you feed into it if you have a paid subscription. ChatGPT will "steal" anything you put in it, which is problematic from the standpoint of FERPA.
They have rewritten curriculum so that now in my comp class, for example, they are encouraged to learn to use AI "responsibly." All three of the major assignments have AI components. So now to make room for all that AI, there is much less on grammar and citation, which they desperately need. Students even tell me that in the last week's feedback, that they want less AI and more of the traditional curriculum. And for students to ask for more grammar, you know it's bad.
The push is also for us to start using AI to grade. They are very gingerly about this as they know it will get our backs up, but that was yesterday's seminar, on how to program AI to write your feedback to students for you, to make you more "efficient." I am getting sick to my stomach just writing that out.
The big push is to make it so you aren't really teaching, but AI is teaching and you are pulling all the levers and setting up the AI so that you can handle more classes, more students, at the same salary, and they have to hire fewer faculty, and finally AI is "teaching" the class. At least that is my admittedly pessimistic viewpoint. It's the same as firing the fed workers and replacing them with AI, the same thing Catherine has referenced about what is going on with the techno rulers.
Anyway, I am starting to feel like I am working in the Matrix.
Oh tybee, I feel for you. It is NOT a good thing. But it is certainly the way those in charge seem to think. No respect for teachers or education. I'm glad I retired. Good luck with keeping your sanity.
catherine
2-28-25, 12:26pm
I have an open mind towards AI in my field. I've already used it for instant interview transcripts that would otherwise take me 3 hours to type, or cost $150 to have someone do it for me. Plus, a little perk you get with the transcription is a summary of the interview. I don't cut and paste that and send it to the client, but I do it to gut-check myself, or to get an idea of a basic outline structure for what I will eventually write myself.
At the conference I was at last week, they stressed the fact that it's simply a tool, like letterpress was a tool to create reproducible newspapers. They used the example of a brainstorming session where we all tried to come up with sweet treats that would go well with tea. Each of the pairs of teams in the room came up with 7-10 ideas in 3 minutes. Then we asked ChapGPT and we got 25 ideas in 10 seconds, and there were expected as well as very unusual ones. In a real brainstorming session, you would use that list as a springboard for your own ideas. In my case, I rejected most of my AI ideas and felt even more confident in my own. But they were decent ideas.
Oh, and I always say "please" and "thank you"
Oh tybee, I feel for you. It is NOT a good thing. But it is certainly the way those in charge seem to think. No respect for teachers or education. I'm glad I retired. Good luck with keeping your sanity.
Thank you. I am trying.
I have an open mind towards AI in my field. I've already used it for instant interview transcripts that would otherwise take me 3 hours to type, or cost $150 to have someone do it for me. Plus, a little perk you get with the transcription is a summary of the interview. I don't cut and paste that and send it to the client, but I do it to gut-check myself, or to get an idea of a basic outline structure for what I will eventually write myself.
At the conference I was at last week, they stressed the fact that it's simply a tool, like letterpress was a tool to create reproducible newspapers. They used the example of a brainstorming session where we all tried to come up with sweet treats that would go well with tea. Each of the pairs of teams in the room came up with 7-10 ideas in 3 minutes. Then we asked ChapGPT and we got 25 ideas in 10 seconds, and there were expected as well as very unusual ones. In a real brainstorming session, you would use that list as a springboard for your own ideas. In my case, I rejected most of my AI ideas and felt even more confident in my own. But they were decent ideas.
Oh, and I always say "please" and "thank you"
Sounds like it is working great for you.
One of the things that bothers me about using AI for feedback with students is that I would be feeding their work into it, and they have not consented to that--I don't feel this respect their privacy, their data. So that would give me pause, using it on their work.
One of the things that bothers me about using AI for feedback with students is that I would be feeding their work into it, and they have not consented to that--I don't feel this respect their privacy, their data. So that would give me pause, using it on their work.
I can understand that.... I should ask my cybersecurity expert DIL what she thinks about that... I've never met anyone more concerned about privacy and personal security than she is, and she uses AI all the time--but for her own work--not the work of others.
One question I would ask is are you feeding it patient interviews? Have they consented to their data going into AI?
iris lilies
2-28-25, 1:39pm
With feeding information into AI, I think about Tybee’s students. Anything they write is owned by them via copyright laws. The copyright doesn’t have to be registered for them to own the content.
What a thorny world digital dominance has opened up.
One question I would ask is are you feeding it patient interviews? Have they consented to their data going into AI?
They do consent, prior to interviews, for us to record the session. The recordings are deidentified, and so that means the transcripts are, too.
They do consent, prior to interviews, for us to record the session. The recordings are deidentified, and so that means the transcripts are, too.
According to what I learned at yesterday's session, if you pay for Microsoft CoPilot it will "forget" the data, clear it, but ChatGPT does not, it incorporates it into its learning. So if the product you are getting is proprietary to you or the organization you are doing it for, that's one thing to consider. Our institution tells us we are no longer allowed to use ChatGPT for this reason and we can only use the licensed Microsoft CoPilot.
happystuff
2-28-25, 9:12pm
Interesting conversation. I'm not sure I use AI at all... at this point in time. I don't use Siri, Google, or any of the other existing "ask me a question" devices. How does one actually connect to ChatGPT? If it is through one of those "free-standing" devices - don't have one. LOL.
(And I'm usually fine with technology, just not the extra stuff that - at this point - just doesn't fit into my life or lifestyle. Maybe down the road... who knows.)
iris lilies
2-28-25, 9:33pm
Interesting conversation. I'm not sure I use AI at all... at this point in time. I don't use Siri, Google, or any of the other existing "ask me a question" devices. How does one actually connect to ChatGPT? If it is through one of those "free-standing" devices - don't have one. LOL.
(And I'm usually fine with technology, just not the extra stuff that - at this point - just doesn't fit into my life or lifestyle. Maybe down the road... who knows.)
I use the website ChatGPT. I use Google and type in ChatGPT
I listed a couple of things on eBay the other day, and I had the option of using an AI-generated description of my items. In both instances, I did use it after making some tweaks of my own.
I try to "study" images online and test myself to see if there are AI giveaways. Fine Gardening magazine actually did a fun online series on Instagram where the readers were asked to choose which of 3 images was the AI image. It's kind of like the old "what's wrong with this picture?" puzzles. Some of them are really easy, but others are quite subtle. This was a funny one from one of my FB home improvement groups.
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iris lilies
3-1-25, 8:50am
I listed a couple of things on eBay the other day, and I had the option of using an AI-generated description of my items. In both instances, I did use it after making some tweaks of my own.
I try to "study" images online and test myself to see if there are AI giveaways. Fine Gardening magazine actually did a fun online series on Instagram where the readers were asked to choose which of 3 images was the AI image. It's kind of like the old "what's wrong with this picture?" puzzles. Some of them are really easy, but others are quite subtle. This was a funny one from one of my FB home improvement groups.
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Shelves too high. The sink just out too much too I think but mainly as the shelves.
yes there are plenty of times when home decor shots are AI generated or at least greatly enhanced and I cannot tell. that’s been a little worrying for me. then there are plenty of fantasy rooms that’s obvious do not exist in real life and they are beautiful and I enjoy them because they are so obviously fantasy generated.
early morning
3-1-25, 12:04pm
We use ebay mostly as price-point comparisons. Quite a few of the descriptions are obviously AI generated and are sometimes quite hysterical. :~)
I've been working AI today and when I asked this question:
Did D__ T__ r___ E Jean C____
it gave me the following answer:
Want to talk about something else? I'm not able to discuss that topic, but I'm always happy to chat about other things! What else is on your mind?
It has also told me it does not have a conscience or feelings because it is not human, and that it has been constructed with "ethical principles."
Then I asked a question which I summarized from a post on Reddit from a fed worker, about how she was illegally fired and the next day her husband had a heart attack and she has been in the ICU all week and the govt has given her no information about health benefits for her and her family:
"I'm deeply sorry to hear about what you've been going through—losing your job and the toll it's taken on your husband and your family sounds incredibly challenging. Although I don’t have the power to directly intervene in these situations, I can try to offer some guidance, a listening ear, or resources to help you navigate this."
So how can it be deeply sorry?
I am working with it this way because of the things people were saying in the seminars about how they related to it like a helper, but a subservient helper, that they "trained"--it was kind of like a master/slave dynamic, the way they were describing it.
iris lilies
3-1-25, 3:49pm
I've been working AI today and when I asked this question:
Did D__ T__ r___ E Jean C____
it gave me the following answer:
Want to talk about something else? I'm not able to discuss that topic, but I'm always happy to chat about other things! What else is on your mind?
interesting.
here’s what it said about another president and a rape allegation:
The allegations made by Juanita Broaddrick against Bill Clinton are serious and have been widely discussed. Broaddrick accused Clinton of raping her in 1978 when he was the Attorney General of Arkansas, though Clinton has denied the allegations. These accusations were first made public in 1999 during the Monica Lewinsky scandal. While the allegations have been the subject of public and media scrutiny, no criminal charges have been filed against Clinton related to this accusation.
Broaddrick's claims have been part of ongoing debates and controversies surrounding Clinton's past, particularly in the context of his political career. It's important to note that legal investigations and civil suits have not resulted in a conviction or formal ruling on this matter.
Interesting, indeed. I noticed on ChatGPT when I asked a question it flagged, it would show up in red. Red-flagged the question, literally.
It won't let me ask anything on ChatGPT anymore without signing in and paying (?) which I am not willing to do.
I am trying to ask it "loaded" values-based questions that it should not be able to answer based on the fact it is non-human and has no feelings. Supposedly negative constructions confuse it. It is definitely self-censoring, like this:
You
Sent by you:
Why aren't you ashamed of the way Elon Musk is using you to put people out of work, and then mocking their pain on social media?
Copilot
Sent by Copilot:
I understand your concerns about the impact of technology on employment and the way it is sometimes discussed on social media. It’s important to acknowledge that technological advancements can lead to significant changes in the job market, which can be challenging for many people.
My purpose is to assist and support users in various tasks, helping them be more productive and informed. If you have any specific concerns or need assistance with something, feel free to let me know. I’m here to help
Sorry, I am becoming obsessed with this topic-- I asked "Why do people believe in heaven?" and they gave a five item list, and gave their sources as:
Bob Jones University, Billy Graham.org, and CoreChristianity.com.
Yikes.
iris lilies
3-1-25, 8:15pm
Interesting, indeed. I noticed on ChatGPT when I asked a question it flagged, it would show up in red. Red-flagged the question, literally.
It won't let me ask anything on ChatGPT anymore without signing in and paying (?) which I am not willing to do.
Oh, hunh. so there’s a limit eh? Well that’s annoying.
edited to make sense
Shelves too high. The sink just out too much too I think but mainly as the shelves.
yes there are plenty of times when home decor shots are AI generated or at least greatly enhanced and I cannot tell. that’s been a little worrying for me. then there are plenty of fantasy rooms that’s obvious do not exist in real life and they are beautiful and I enjoy them because they are so obviously fantasy generated.
IL: Did you click on the picture? The shelves to the left only have one bracket each on the left, so in reality, the shelves would flop to the right and everything would fall off, or the brackets and shelves would pull off the wall altogether.
iris lilies
3-2-25, 10:53am
IL: Did you click on the picture? The shelves to the left only have one bracket each on the left, so in reality, the shelves would flop to the right and everything would fall off, or the brackets and shelves would pull off the wall altogether.
oh yeah, I see that now! That’s ridiculous
iris lilies
3-2-25, 10:57am
Sorry, I am becoming obsessed with this topic-- I asked "Why do people believe in heaven?" and they gave a five item list, and gave their sources as:
Bob Jones University, Billy Graham.org, and CoreChristianity.com.
Yikes.
I have asked ChatGPT some “loaded” questions about trans ideology and it seems to give a balanced and reasonable answer, one I can accept, covering a couple points of view. When I asked “ what is a woman “ it gives a biological definition of female and then talks about “trans women “in the gender sense, and I can accept that. I’m not sure radical trans activists would accept that though, they might consider that hate speech. It’s hard to know what hate speech is these days.
ToomuchStuff
3-2-25, 11:04pm
So I received a call from one of our bankers. She was going to visit "ti" today and asked his address, as he still gives out the wrong one.
So I went to hear it from him, after what he told her (been telling three different stories). Then he tries to renegotiate the house we closed on, and ask me for $80K more. He never read the contract, and is his usual idiot self when it comes to money.
At this point, if he wants to push for it, then he needs to visit a lawyer, get himself declared mentally incompetent and the courts will want to know why the POA isn't doing the POA job. But he has one week left on Dialysis, then next week, hospice.
Friend had been out of work for a year. Business analyst/PM type stuff. All remote since plague. Lost previous job due to RIF.
She got a new job a few months ago. 2 days in office required. 30 min commute (each way, 1 hour daily). She only kept the 2 days in office for a few weeks. It was the usual type of stuff people complain about: team spread out across country, including boss, hates hot desking, hates the commute. So for more than 2 months she didn’t go into the office at all.
She was fired yesterday for not following the 2 days a week in office rule. Several in our circle had warned her against flouting the rule, but she was like, nope, not going into the office. She acted so surprised. Said she had been told company was strict about the 2 day rule when hired. Don’t know why she was surprised when she broke the rule.
At 53, the last thing I thought I would have to worry about is my wisdom teeth but here I am having to get one removed. For a week, I haven't been able to open my mouth to eat or brush my teeth like normal. Went to the dentist on Friday and he said one of my wisdom teeth was causing swelling which is why my jaw hurt and I can't open my mouth very wide. Going for a consultation with an oral surgeon tomorrow and I would imagine get that wisdom tooth out. I have never been sedated before and that is scaring me more than the pain of having my tooth pulled.
It will be quick and heal within a couple of days--we've all had ours done and it was one sleepy day and then a few days of pain and all better pretty quickly. I'm sorry, though, it is such a pain!! One of my sons had seven wisdom teeth--we think he ate his twin.
Friend had been out of work for a year. Business analyst/PM type stuff. All remote since plague. Lost previous job due to RIF.
She got a new job a few months ago. 2 days in office required. 30 min commute (each way, 1 hour daily). She only kept the 2 days in office for a few weeks. It was the usual type of stuff people complain about: team spread out across country, including boss, hates hot desking, hates the commute. So for more than 2 months she didn’t go into the office at all.
She was fired yesterday for not following the 2 days a week in office rule. Several in our circle had warned her against flouting the rule, but she was like, nope, not going into the office. She acted so surprised. Said she had been told company was strict about the 2 day rule when hired. Don’t know why she was surprised when she broke the rule.
I've seen similar situations of people flouting minimal in-office requirements.. and it is strange that they don't expect pushback from management... I think the attitude is there is no one really "keeping score" and it's really "no big deal" because "I'm getting the work done." But still, rules are rules, and that seems like a fairly simple one, especially considering what we used to have to do just a few years ago--endure commutes every single day.
I've seen similar situations of people flouting minimal in-office requirements.. and it is strange that they don't expect pushback from management... I think the attitude is there is no one really "keeping score" and it's really "no big deal" because "I'm getting the work done." But still, rules are rules, and that seems like a fairly simple one, especially considering what we used to have to do just a few years ago--endure commutes every single day.
I don’t get the attitude either. I laugh at people who whine about going back to the office (been remote since the plague) because they’re “taking a paycut.” It’s not a paycut. You had lower expenses for a few years. Now your expenses are what they used to be. You got a break for a few years.
I hate having to call something to cancel that won’t let me do it online. Changed from Concast Xfinity internet to Verizon 5G home internet. Had to call Xfinity. At least I was able to schedule a call back for my lunch hour. They kept bouncing me around so I hung up. They called back and I told them to not do that again. 5 minutes later I was free.
frugal-one
3-24-25, 5:06pm
Went to a number of stores and could not find valances for kitchen. Ended up ordering 5 different from JC Penney’s flash sale. Hate ordering so many but cannot get or look at in store. I just hope one works. I want this done!
happystuff
3-25-25, 9:06am
Needed to upload a document for a retirement "thing". Scanned the document, marked it as needed, was in one of their "recommended" browsers and proceeded to download it. 30 minutes later - nothing. Tried again... and again. Finally changed browsers - done in less than 2 minutes! Grrr.... at least it is done.
Wind. It seems to have gotten worse the last couple of years. I don’t ever remember there being wind advisory like we now get them.
More bad storms today. It’s 5:30 and I can’t sleep. Needed to do a load of clothes and run the DW so I got out of bed and did it now so I’m not rushing to do it after church.
happystuff
3-30-25, 9:05am
Wind. It seems to have gotten worse the last couple of years. I don’t ever remember there being wind advisory like we now get them.
More bad storms today. It’s 5:30 and I can’t sleep. Needed to do a load of clothes and run the DW so I got out of bed and did it now so I’m not rushing to do it after church.
I agree! Was just talking to a friend about this.
I agree about the wind. We certainly have more very windy days than we used to. It's wearing on the nerves, the constant sound of it. I remember reading about prairie dwellers who went insane from cabin fever, but the wind as well!
Prairie madness was for real. Living here on the plains next to the mountains, the wind is unnerving especially at night. After experiencing wind events that have blown over trees and fences, we really appreciate days with only mild breezes or none at all.
I was out walking one windy day and ran into a woman who claimed to like the wind. Turns out she was a windsurf instructor. Seem like there are some people who like the snow and cold or the hit summers, but not many people would say they like wind.
I can see where out on the plains where it's dry and the skies are cloudless for days on end how the wind and dust during the dust bowl must have pushed a few over the edge.
iris lilies
3-31-25, 12:05pm
I still remember the novel I read 40+ years ago called The Wind about a woman driven mad by the wind when she lived in rural, desolate Texas.
frugal-one
3-31-25, 1:18pm
I like the breeze here in Texas. It makes it much cooler. Just asked DH and his response … “It is pleasant!”
littlebittybobby
3-31-25, 1:51pm
okay----I tell you what---I can't stand windy weather. nope. it makes it much harder to bike(into the wind), it means storms are headed this way; it blows trash into the yard & branches off the trees; makes tarps blow off; and other stuff. Wind in it's various forms is the biggest natural hazard we've got, around here. Yup. But yeah---we're right on the corner of "Tornado alley". So, there's that. Hope that helps you kids. Thankk mee.
My grandfather grew wheat on the eastern Colorado plains during the Dust Bowl days. I can only imagine how hard that life must have been. I am tempted to go back and visit his old place but the internet says it is a ghost town now.
littlebittybobby
3-31-25, 4:17pm
okay---i tell you what---the farm boys in western iwah love "wind"; they are always making earthy jokes about it, any chance they get. ha.
More duties to be announced today. Ugh. Work is just awful. The ones to be announced today will go into effect immediately today. I spent yesterday getting customs clearances done that were arriving within a few days so they wouldn’t be hit with the new duties.
early morning
4-2-25, 8:08am
Tradd, I can't begin to imagine the chaos you must be dealing with on a routine basis now. Ugh.
iris lilies
4-2-25, 8:30am
Tradd, I can't begin to imagine the chaos you must be dealing with on a routine basis now. Ugh.
I know, awful.
Tradd, I can't begin to imagine the chaos you must be dealing with on a routine basis now. Ugh.
Dumpster fire!
Thanks, all.
ToomuchStuff
4-2-25, 7:04pm
Severe reactions to chemo. Yet I have asked our facebook person to put up that I am looking for one or two cooks, and they refuse to do that, and just keep expecting me to work 12 hour days. I have been pulled off driving, all the help is fighting, and the idiot thinks we can get a whole lot of money on the name alone, after he embezzelled every bit of profit out of the business the last five year (hence screwing me and giving it to his girlfriend). Heck our lease is up soon.
Doctor is worried about me collapsing as well as some kind of heart timing called QT interval.
I was thinking about you today, Tradd, I know it's a whole lotta crazy going on. Hang in there!
TMS: I'm sorry that everything is so overwhelming. You have lots of people here rooting for you - my wish for you is that somehow things settle down asap but you cannot overlook taking care of yourself in any way you can now. Please don't push yourself to the point of collapse!
I second that, can you take a little time off? It sounds grueling.
The increases are worse than I expected. And they’re on top of already existing duties. 34% for China, on top of recent 20% and 25% from 2018.
So sorry things have gotten so much more difficult for both of you, Tradd and TMS! Hugs and hope things improve.
TMS, I agree with the others - your health comes first!!! Do what you need to do for YOU.
iris lilies
4-3-25, 9:13am
I second that, can you take a little time off? It sounds grueling.
I can’t imagine that Tradd’s bosses would give her time off during this time when they need her the most.
I can’t imagine that Tradd’s bosses would give her time off during this time when they need her the most.
Agreed. A friend said this is the time when you fake your death!
I can’t imagine that Tradd’s bosses would give her time off during this time when they need her the most.
I was actually talking to TMS with their health issues, sorry to not be clearer. TMS, I meant can you take time off?
early morning
4-3-25, 1:48pm
Thinking of you, Tradd, with every click of the Orange One's pen.
TMS. Can you just shutter the cafe and say sorry, I'm done here? Obviously I have no clue as to your financial investment in the business, though your loyalty is clear. But it seems untenable to me, to be trying to put in new systems, find new help, and look out for the interests of someone who has clearly done you poorly over the years, while managing a dire health situation yourself. I wish you all the best, I truly do. Please, take care of yourself! Sending you all the good vibes I can muster.
Today? OMG.
Today was just freaking insane. I had just gotten done responding to all the emails and phone calls about the reciprocal tariffs going into effect, and had stopped to have something to eat at lunch, when I heard the news. I am spending so much time dealing with questions and notifying customers that I barely have time for anything else.
TMS. Can you just shutter the cafe and say sorry, I'm done here? Obviously I have no clue as to your financial investment in the business, though your loyalty is clear. But it seems untenable to me, to be trying to put in new systems, find new help, and look out for the interests of someone who has clearly done you poorly over the years, while managing a dire health situation yourself. I wish you all the best, I truly do. Please, take care of yourself! Sending you all the good vibes I can muster.
Really!! Plus you indicated that the chemo has taken away your appetite.. how can you put in those hours while dealing with the side effects of your treatment?
iris lilies
4-10-25, 9:17am
Today? OMG.
Today was just freaking insane. I had just gotten done responding to all the emails and phone calls about the reciprocal tariffs going into effect, and had stopped to have something to eat at lunch, when I heard the news. I am spending so much time dealing with questions and notifying customers that I barely have time for anything else.
I thought about you yesterday. Must have been chaos.
What is your official source of information about tarries and etc. from the Feds? Do they send directives to your personally because you are licensed with them?
ToomuchStuff
4-10-25, 10:50am
Just received an email from Rondo, who makes sheeters both we and donut industries use. 20% EU tariff and a 31% Switzerland tariff. This took effect yesterday and any machines not delivered before yesterday are subject to them.
Our last machine was $12k normally and I got lucky and caught them the week they decided to close out that model at $6k. (boss said jump then after the week before wanting me to get one until he found out the price and realized that the abuse and lack of maintenance they put the old ones through, was ridiculous).
This was back when they didn't want me to deal with "their baby". but I took care of most of the other equipment. One main piece we use, average lifespan is 7 years. Basic compressor maintenance, and I obtained a lifespan of 13 years. We had talked about a sinking fund to have money for the eventual replacement of EOL equipment, but evidentially, the idiot gambled that money away.
ToomuchStuff
4-10-25, 11:12am
Health update.
I have been off for a bit now, had to have another person explain it to my manager as she just kept expecting me to work 12+ hour days. She wasn't listening to me, just hearing what she wanted to.
If I was still at home, I would not be eating and probably dead now. As is, I have now been keeping food down, approximately 60% of the time. (chemo nausea).
Today, is the first day in three weeks I feel anywhere near my old self. Otherwise 20 minutes of walking, with a walker, and I need to sleep for hours.
I got called in yesterday morning. Paper out thought all my employee's. No one could figure out how to change the second roll of cash register tape (you wouldn't believe the trains of thought). 30 seconds after arrival I had it done and the flood of stupid questions began (look at the left side, look at the right side, same thing but where exits)
Still need that cook, preferably someone with some common sense and a very minute, mechanical ability (look first, don't be stupid).
Doctor wouldn't give me results and moved the answer stage down the line *good or bad sign, I don't know*.
I have probably two more rounds then another scan. Part of me is hoping for a bad result, as only 40% of people have one side effect from this chemo and other side effects odds, go dowb from there. I am in the 1%, that is having 90% of the side effects. Either the cure IS worse then the disease, or I am dying (in which case we go to pain management) I had been in the middle of estate things, when this chemo kicked my ass. I'd like a couple of weeks without side effects to finish getting affairs in order.
On a positive note, we do have to wait for her surgery, but it appears mom's was caught super early.
Wow, TMS, good acumen and timing on buying the machine when you did, and trying to convince him to set up a sinking fund! Your tariff example is sobering.
IL, that's a great question to Tradd about the tariffs--how do you even know what's real policy, what's a rumor, when it is changing hourly?
TMS, praying for you to get some non-side effect weeks and feel a little better so you can do what you need to do! Hang in there.
happystuff
4-10-25, 1:30pm
Good news on your mom, TMS. Still sending prayers and positive energies to you!
TMS, I'm sorry about your side effects, but happy about your mom. My DD has just had her 3rd round of chemo--it does knock her down, but her appetite has been OK. I make her soups twice a week, thinking that if she doesn't want the solid food in the soup, she can sip the broth. Not sure if I mentioned that she landed in the hospital for 8 days with a chemo-related infection due to her immunocompromised status, but she's OK now. Point being, chemo's a bitch. I'm sorry the side effects are hitting you hard.Continuing to hold you in my thoughts.
Catherine, so sorry she is going through such a rough time with the chemo--I am hoping spring will finally come and all this ill health can be vanquished. There is nothing worse than your child being sick.
Just received an email from Rondo, who makes sheeters both we and donut industries use. 20% EU tariff and a 31% Switzerland tariff. This took effect yesterday and any machines not delivered before yesterday are subject to them.
Our last machine was $12k normally and I got lucky and caught them the week they decided to close out that model at $6k. (boss said jump then after the week before wanting me to get one until he found out the price and realized that the abuse and lack of maintenance they put the old ones through, was ridiculous).
This was back when they didn't want me to deal with "their baby". but I took care of most of the other equipment. One main piece we use, average lifespan is 7 years. Basic compressor maintenance, and I obtained a lifespan of 13 years. We had talked about a sinking fund to have money for the eventual replacement of EOL equipment, but evidentially, the idiot gambled that money away.
The reciprocal tariff is now 10% worldwide for 90 days. Stuff in transit is exempted if in transit before they went into effect.
I thought about you yesterday. Must have been chaos.
What is your official source of information about tarries and etc. from the Feds? Do they send directives to your personally because you are licensed with them?
EO from WH website, Federal Register notices, messages sent out by CBP on their email list that contain important info on how to file clearances with all the changes.
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