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freshstart
9-26-15, 1:37pm
I love Dame Maggie!
my mom and I get cheap season tickets to a rep company, $50 for 6 plays. Parking costs more. We love it and I know this is the last year because the odds of her being here are slim. It was so cool that I found out she likes this stuff (it's a little humorous watching your mom, in the front row, jump up and enthusiastically giving a stand O to Venus in Fur (google it and my mom was a nun!).
I thought her going today (to a really good one) was going to be hard, but the staff are great to her, once we get there we are fine. All I had to do was get the lightweight wheelchair out of the car and push her, she would drive the car.
No one will 'let' me go. They stopped a pill last week and I have been very wobbly. I knew if I had to deal with the wheelchair, the hardest part, if I could do that, I could go. I'm not driving so I won't hurt anyone, if I fall asleep at the play, who cares? I do not feel up to lifting that chair, thought take shower, will feel better and the parking lot guy would lift the wheelchair if I could not.
I go to shower, still dressed, they knock and ask me to come into the LR for a sec. This is feeling like they are going to tell me my dogs went to a "farm". They want me in bed, getting up only when necessary and must use walker, do I know how much I fell yesterday? Nope, I don't remember much about yesterday. They called heart doc yest, usual no BP reading able to be heard, but pulse was well over 200 and all I knew is I felt horrible and was really confused at times. He added a third dose of the drug that is supposed be bring my heart rate down, but also makes my BP plummet. They told me all this yesterday. Remember none of it. But if I am this sedated, I'm betting on that 3rd dose causing it. So no shower and sure as hell no play. My mom found a friend to take her.
I get it, I do not like it, but I get it. I want more memories with my mom and I am not making them happen. Ditto kids, dad, friends, family. But I have time, I hope, for them for many years. Not true with my mom and it sucks! I'm lucky to have her this long, I know that. Still sucks. Sorry for bitchin' and moaning, it's that kind of day.
iris lilies
9-26-15, 2:36pm
I love Dame Maggie!
my mom and I get cheap season tickets to a rep company, $50 for 6 plays. Parking costs more. We love it and I know this is the last year because the odds of her being here are slim. It was so cool that I found out she likes this stuff (it's a little humorous watching your mom, in the front row, jump up and enthusiastically giving a stand O to Venus in Fur (google it and my mom was a nun!).
I thought her going today (to a really good one) was going to be hard, but the staff are great to her, once we get there we are fine. All I had to do was get the lightweight wheelchair out of the car and push her, she would drive the car.
No one will 'let' me go. They stopped a pill last week and I have been very wobbly. I knew if I had to deal with the wheelchair, the hardest part, if I could do that, I could go. I'm not driving so I won't hurt anyone, if I fall asleep at the play, who cares? I do not feel up to lifting that chair, thought take shower, will feel better and the parking lot guy would lift the wheelchair if I could not.
I go to shower, still dressed, they knock and ask me to come into the LR for a sec. This is feeling like they are going to tell me my dogs went to a "farm". They want me in bed, getting up only when necessary and must use walker, do I know how much I fell yesterday? Nope, I don't remember much about yesterday. They called heart doc yest, usual no BP reading able to be heard, but pulse was well over 200 and all I knew is I felt horrible and was really confused at times. He added a third dose of the drug that is supposed be bring my heart rate down, but also makes my BP plummet. They told me all this yesterday. Remember none of it. But if I am this sedated, I'm betting on that 3rd dose causing it. So no shower and sure as hell no play. My mom found a friend to take her.
I get it, I do not like it, but I get it. I want more memories with my mom and I am not making them happen. Ditto kids, dad, friends, family. But I have time, I hope, for them for many years. Not true with my mom and it sucks! I'm lucky to have her this long, I know that. Still sucks. Sorry for bitchin' and moaning, it's that kind of day.
awwww, I am so sorry to hear all of this. ugh.
freshstart
9-26-15, 2:50pm
awwww, I am so sorry to hear all of this. ugh.
thank you, iris lilies.
frugal-one
9-28-15, 2:27pm
Went to the laundromat today to wash rugs. Got there and one person was using ALL the machines. There were 8 regular machines and 4 double. I guess first come, first serve but it seems very inconsiderate to me.
freshstart
9-28-15, 2:45pm
that is a lotta laundry! sorry you had to wait
Must get over for the 1000th time that certain people in my life (namely immediate family) will never be able to provide the type of emotional support and validation of feelings that I sometimes crave. Emotions, whether they are painful or joyous, and feelings in general are not allowed in my family of origin, as they make everyone waaaaay too uncomfortable. Thus you have a "family" group of utter strangers that just happen to share DNA.
And I guess, as always, it would be just too much to ask to get more than a "HB2U" greeting from my dad on Facebook. I don't think the guy has initiated an actual phone call to me in over 15 years...just saying. Somethings WILL never change, and I have to learn for the 1000th time to get over it.
Ultralight
10-2-15, 9:25am
Must get over for the 1000th time that certain people in my life (namely immediate family) will never be able to provide the type of emotional support and validation of feelings that I sometimes crave. Emotions, whether they are painful or joyous, and feelings in general are not allowed in my family of origin, as they make everyone waaaaay too uncomfortable. Thus you have a "family" group of utter strangers that just happen to share DNA.
And I guess, as always, it would be just too much to ask to get more than a "HB2U" greeting from my dad on Facebook. I don't think the guy has initiated an actual phone call to me in over 15 years...just saying. Somethings WILL never change, and I have to learn for the 1000th time to get over it.
While this sucks as a circumstance, you seem to be fairly resilient to it -- which is commendable!
Most of my family members are strangers too.
I have been fairly deliberate about trying to create an extended "chosen family." This has helped...
freshstart
10-2-15, 4:12pm
Must get over for the 1000th time that certain people in my life (namely immediate family) will never be able to provide the type of emotional support and validation of feelings that I sometimes crave. .
maybe you will learn to accept it for what it is, but truly getting over a family like that is huge, it hurts, how could it not? It took me a long time to "not go to the hardware store for butter", and finally I don't, but decades of alienation, I can't get over, I can move on but it's still there. That's BS, I still go to the hardware store for butter thinking there is a glimmer of hope, always a fail.
Your dad is a jerk, he is missing out on what should've been one of the most important relationships in his life. I agree with UA, create your own family from the people in your life who would never treat you like that
"Just" another school massacre. Everybody talks about it and is sooooo sad. But nothing ever changes. It's pathetic.
freshstart
10-2-15, 6:13pm
I feel like it will never change, this was the 45th school shooting just this year. I'm with Obama on this one, “our thoughts and prayers are not enough.” While expressing condolences, he was clearly angry and said he expected to be accused of politicizing this issue and he responded with, "why shouldn't it be?" He brought up gun control. There were 13 guns there supposedly, how did one guy amass that many? The NRA has not responded because they want all the facts, I'm waited with bated breath for how they will spin this. Responsible gun owners, I can deal with, hunting, target shooting, perhaps in your home for protection. I can compromise. But open carry on a trip to Walmart, why is this ok? 2,500 kids killed so far this year. I'm done and ready for change. If there was a group not so frenetic as the NRA, who can compromise as well, we could get this done.
In a way ... ok this is off the wall, but open carry can be useful. Even here in the wild, wild west, it's extremely rare to see someone just walking around with a firearm. When you do, it's a huge red flag that Something Is Not Right with this person. Heads go up and eyes go a little wider. I don't agree with carrying firearms at all, but at least with open carry, forewarned is, ha ha, forearmed. Now concealed carry is a different thing, I think if someone wants to hide a firearm on their person that's actually a much more dangerous situation and it should be a lot harder to get a cc permit. Knowing how to shoot a firearm and having true James Bond ability are very different things.
Some people feel more secure with a gun on their hip, apparently. My father was a captain in the infantry, more than competent with firearms. When he was mugged in his front yard, mowing his lawn, I guess he should have been armed. But then he would have probably lost his wallet and a firearm. He was in his eighties, after all. No matter how many times the NRA mindset is explained to me, I still don't get it. If I were traveling in the wilderness, a weapon would be useful for scaring away wildlife, i suppose. But that's not going to happen. :~)
Ultralight
10-2-15, 6:43pm
I feel like it will never change, this was the 45th school shooting just this year. I'm with Obama on this one, “our thoughts and prayers are not enough.” While expressing condolences, he was clearly angry and said he expected to be accused of politicizing this issue and he responded with, "why shouldn't it be?" He brought up gun control. There were 13 guns there supposedly, how did one guy amass that many? The NRA has not responded because they want all the facts, I'm waited with bated breath for how they will spin this. Responsible gun owners, I can deal with, hunting, target shooting, perhaps in your home for protection. I can compromise. But open carry on a trip to Walmart, why is this ok? 2,500 kids killed so far this year. I'm done and ready for change. If there was a group not so frenetic as the NRA, who can compromise as well, we could get this done.
When I was out in AZ they passed a law allowing people to carry guns into bars. One of many reasons I left...
I am appalled by all the shootings. But at this point I am not surprised or shocked. It is business as usual in the US.
I just try to increase my situational awareness, look over my shoulder, keep my eyes peeled, etc. That is all that can really be done.
Ultralight
10-2-15, 6:43pm
In a way ... ok this is off the wall, but open carry can be useful. Even here in the wild, wild west, it's extremely rare to see someone just walking around with a firearm. When you do, it's a huge red flag that Something Is Not Right with this person. Heads go up and eyes go a little wider. I don't agree with carrying firearms at all, but at least with open carry, forewarned is, ha ha, forearmed. Now concealed carry is a different thing, I think if someone wants to hide a firearm on their person that's actually a much more dangerous situation and it should be a lot harder to get a cc permit. Knowing how to shoot a firearm and having true James Bond ability are very different things.
When I was in Phoenix I saw plenty of right wing nutjobs carrying guns.
Hmm. I'm in Tucson and I almost never do. ... Then again, they probably don't hang out at Sprouts and Value Village very often ...
When I was in Phoenix I saw plenty of right wing nutjobs carrying guns.
Hmm. I'm in Tucson and I almost never do. ...
Reality is fungible if the narrative suffers. Damned right wingers.
You gotta admit, left wing nut jobs are rarely pro-gun, we're usually more pro-crunch. But if you must have it, "I rarely see anyone carrying guns."
Williamsmith
10-2-15, 7:57pm
An armed school resource officer (often times a recently retired police officer or a current member of the local law enforcement) could have reduced casualties just by speeding up response time. If your facility is a prime target for mass shooting then I think you have the responsibility to be prepared to apply a swift response in order to stop the action. Some day somebody is going to realize that the schools are negligent if they aren't providing for the safety of their students. Gun free zones equals negligence when you have nothing but a sign posted to enforce it.
Time to stop enabling ourselves to be sitting ducks.
I can't help but think that maybe if these school shooter types believed that they would end up facing armed opponents on their rampages, they might think twice about it. They prey on people they perceive as weaker than themselves. I'm not a fan of gun control considering that the criminals will always have no compunction about arming themselves with whatever weapons they wish, illegal or otherwise, and law-abiding citizens become all the more as sitting ducks.
Taking away guns from citizens in the hope of foiling criminals is putting a band-aid on the symptoms rather than fixing the underlying problems of a culture that more and more lacks compassion, kindness, and empathy for other people.
Taking away guns from citizens in the hope of foiling criminals is putting a band-aid on the symptoms rather than fixing the underlying problems of a culture that more and more lacks compassion, kindness, and empathy for other people. I agree, but in my opinion, giving citizens guns is also a band-aid. There are very few people including trained law enforcement who can act with "James Bond-like" reflexes and lucky instincts. The perception of oneself as Super Competent With A Weapon - especially as a Man but with the addition of female superheroes, as a Woman as well - is vastly overestimated. I am - sadly - not Michele Rodriguez, and put up at super speed against Evil Villains, I'd likely shoot the most obvious targets - a bystander or myself.
Williamsmith
10-2-15, 10:11pm
I agree, but in my opinion, giving citizens guns is also a band-aid. There are very few people including trained law enforcement who can act with "James Bond-like" reflexes and lucky instincts. The perception of oneself as Super Competent With A Weapon - especially as a Man but with the addition of female superheroes, as a Woman as well - is vastly overestimated. I am - sadly - not Michele Rodriguez, and put up at super speed against Evil Villains, I'd likely shoot the most obvious targets - a bystander or myself.
Of course eye hand coordination varies among the population but with proper training and practice the average citizen can safely possess and intelligently handle a handgun. You are infinitely more likely to kill yourself or others while driving your car to the grocery store. If we are going to be hunted down and executed by the mentally ill or terrorists then we need to be prepared to defend ourselves and our loved ones. It's the only reasonable action you can take. Does it make sense to just petition your government to solve them?
Id say an epidemic of mass shootings is a call to arms.
My State Constitution says this: Article XXI "The right of citizens to bear arms, in defense of themselves and the State, shall not be questioned."
rodeosweetheart
10-2-15, 10:24pm
I agree, but in my opinion, giving citizens guns is also a band-aid. There are very few people including trained law enforcement who can act with "James Bond-like" reflexes and lucky instincts. The perception of oneself as Super Competent With A Weapon - especially as a Man but with the addition of female superheroes, as a Woman as well - is vastly overestimated.
While I am not a gun owner and don't want to be one, I disagree with your statement about there being very few people who can reliably carry guns. Anyone who has served in the military has been trained to use guns. In the circles I travel, that is a lot of men and women who are very comfortable and skilled with guns, so I don't get where you are coming from.
Many civilians also train themselves to use guns--our own Tradd is a skilled gun owner, as are most hunters. Depending on where one lives, guns may be socially quite common.
So I don't think anyone is "giving citizens guns"--many many citizens already have them, as we have the right to bear arms in our country.
freshstart
10-2-15, 10:48pm
When I was out in AZ they passed a law allowing people to carry guns into bars. One of many reasons I left...
oh FFS, why would any state pass a bill so stupid? and waste all that time pushing it through the system. I would think even pro gun citizens could agree this is a very bad idea
To be exact, as of 2014, "Arizona law allows individuals to carry guns concealed without a permit. However, a permit is necessary ... inside an Arizona restaurant or bar that serves alcohol or within 1,000 feet of a school." I'm so proud.
http://essay.utwente.nl/61212/1/Jong,_M.A._de_-_s0010162_%28verslag%29.pdf
Long. the upshot: as has been theorized and explored many times, people choke under pressure. The more emotion and fear are present, the worse they do. This applies to golfers, police officers, and you and me. It is the rare person who actually overcomes extreme pressure and emotion to do a movie-worthy performance in the worst of situations. It's certainly not that people don't want to do well, they just, often, can't.
ETA: I do agree that people can be trained in ways that reduce this. This does NOT apply to the general population no matter how skilled they are at target shooting, it's specific mental training and it's hard enough to accomplish in military and law enforcement individuals specifically drilled about it. While some people, for all I know Tradd herself, may be naturally less prone to "choke", one never knows.
The police, military, etc. will practically never be able to respond in time to a self-defense type situation. We as citizens must take some responsibility for our own defense up to the point where help could arrive.
freshstart
10-3-15, 12:01pm
http://essay.utwente.nl/61212/1/Jong,_M.A._de_-_s0010162_%28verslag%29.pdf
Long. the upshot: as has been theorized and explored many times, people choke under pressure. The more emotion and fear are present, the worse they do. This applies to golfers, police officers, and you and me. It is the rare person who actually overcomes extreme pressure and emotion to do a movie-worthy performance in the worst of situations. It's certainly not that people don't want to do well, they just, often, can't.
ETA: I do agree that people can be trained in ways that reduce this. This does NOT apply to the general population no matter how skilled they are at target shooting, it's specific mental training and it's hard enough to accomplish in military and law enforcement individuals specifically drilled about it. While some people, for all I know Tradd herself, may be naturally less prone to "choke", one never knows.
100% agreed
I do not have a gun because I am fairly sure I would fumble under pressure and am more likely to cause injury to my family. Especially if the burglar hadn't even brought a gun to the party and I am easily overpowered, he gets gun. No thanks, no guns here, two dogs and lots of deadbolts. I think guns in the home cause more risk of negative outcomes, i.e.: accidental gun deaths of children in the home (although is it really all that "accidental" if they were able to gain access to the gun? and the adults are still called responsible gun owners and isn't this heinous death tragic? Yes, but 100% preventable.) and people overpowered and killed or raped.
I truly do not understand why the average person needs to carry a gun in public, concealed or open. To stumble upon a gunman performing mass killings and you are the guy to take him down? I don't buy it. Or that nonsense had a teacher been armed the 45 school shootings this year would not have happened? Yeah, some poor teacher even with gun experience, is not going to choke in the wake of mass slaughter. Maybe yes, maybe no, either way I do not want them in our school. How about the preacher/Senator, who was outright criticized for not being armed in CHURCH and that he failed to protect his flock. Or maybe it's protection for in a bad neighborhood. Whatev, I do not think the vast majority of citizens should be walking around armed.
I do not think the vast majority of citizens should be walking around armed.I do not think the vast majority of citizens should be voting for Democrats. Should we make it illegal?
freshstart
10-3-15, 1:04pm
I do not think the vast majority of citizens should be voting for Democrats. Should we make it illegal?
Democratic beliefs don't kill people, people kill people
don't just be clever, tell me why the average American should be walking around with a gun at all times. I clearly said yesterday that I am open to compromise. I do not understand why you need to be armed at the grocery store
iris lilies
10-3-15, 2:38pm
Democratic beliefs don't kill people, people kill people
don't just be clever, tell me why the average American should be walking around with a gun at all times. I clearly said yesterday that I am open to compromise. I do not understand why you need to be armed at the grocery store
What I've learned from living in the murder capital of the world is that not everyone is like me, not everyone has the same lifestyle, not everyone lives the same circumstances. Some people are exposed more often to dangerous situations than I am, or they are aware of that exposure in a way that I am different to. That unawareness is part of my personality and in many ways it suits me, but that doesn't mean there is no danger.
I don't have a gun and am not interested In getting one. But if DH got a gun for himself, that would be ok with me. He spends a lot of time, as do I, at our spare house and gardens where thugs live all around. So if he had a gun, sure, he'd be taking it into the grocery store because it's inefficient as a tool to put it on, take it off, put it on again.
And here's the reality of living in gun land: thugs have guns. They will always have guns. You cannot stop them having guns. When law abiding people like DH put his gun in the car becUse the grocery store says he can't carry it in, thugs will break into his car looking for a gun. And if the gun safe is cheap or non existent, they will get it. Another reason why it's a bad idea to strap it on, then remove it.
DH is serving on the grand jury and the majority of their cases are guns and drugs. Fellons who aren't supposed to have guns have them. All of the laws in the world won't stop them.
Then let's punish criminals a whole lot harder than we do. But people don't want to get rid of the cancers.......they have rights too. :(
Just wondering where Jemima went.........who originally started this thread.
freshstart
10-3-15, 4:14pm
if Britain can do it, it may take a 50 yrs or more, we can do it, too. But we don't want to.
Then let's punish criminals a whole lot harder than we do. But people don't want to get rid of the cancers.......they have rights too. :(
The problem with punishing the criminals is the justice system itself. Crook (Cook) County has a long habit of plea bargaining away firearms charges. It's very common for a thug who shot someone/used a firearm in the commission of a crime to serve 1-2 years. Back out on the streets, he shoots someone again. Rinse and repeat. Those convicted of straw purchases (buying a firearm for someone who legally cannot own one) have recently gotten sentences of only 3-6 years.
What I find interesting after each of these events is that there isn't more outcry about the violence level in the big cities. Chicago is having a bang-up (pun intended) year for shootings and homicides. September had 62 homicides (all but 3 were shootings), the most for September since 2002. The level of aggressive policing that would be required to decrease it (stop and frisk, that sort of thing) would have the reverends and the BLM folks up in arms. The Crook County SA (a woman of Hispanic heritage) has been whining there are too many minorities in jail. We rarely hear from the reverends about the inner city violence. Jesse Jackson is based in Chicago and there's rarely a peep out of him abut it.
This website keeps track of the Chicago shooting/homicide numbers. http://heyjackass.com
The two previous weekends had around 50 people shot each weekend. Within the last week, a grandmother and her pregnant daughter were killed when five members of the same family were shot on the way back from a family gathering. The pregnant daughter's 11-month-old was also shot, but survived, as did two other adults.
The left gets up in arms about the mass shootings, but don't seem to give much of a flying fig at all about the numbers killed in the big cities.
if Britain can do it, it may take a 50 yrs or more, we can do it, too. But we don't want to.
When you've disarmed the law-abiding citizens, what do you propose to do with the thugs who still have guns?
What I've learned from living in the murder capital of the world is that not everyone is like me, not everyone has the same lifestyle, not everyone lives the same circumstances. Some people are exposed more often to dangerous situations than I am, or they are aware of that exposure in a way that I am different to. That unawareness is part of my personality and in many ways it suits me, but that doesn't mean there is no danger.
I don't have a gun and am not interested In getting one. But if DH got a gun for himself, that would be ok with me. He spends a lot of time, as do I, at our spare house and gardens where thugs live all around. So if he had a gun, sure, he'd be taking it into the grocery store because it's inefficient as a tool to put it on, take it off, put it on again.
And here's the reality of living in gun land: thugs have guns. They will always have guns. You cannot stop them having guns. When law abiding people like DH put his gun in the car becUse the grocery store says he can't carry it in, thugs will break into his car looking for a gun. And if the gun safe is cheap or non existent, they will get it. Another reason why it's a bad idea to strap it on, then remove it.
DH is serving on the grand jury and the majority of their cases are guns and drugs. Fellons who aren't supposed to have guns have them. All of the laws in the world won't stop them.
Bingo. My pistol goes on in the morning, just like my bra and earrings. I have to disarm at work, but it's back on as soon as I'm in the car. The only places I disarm are those I have to by law (post office, hospital, library, etc.). I don't give my money to places posted as GFZ, as there are plenty enough places to go that aren't GFZ. If I'm dressed in an outfit that won't accommodate my 9mm on a belt (such as a dress), I have a dinky .380 that I wear in a bra holster. I even carry at church (not posted).
There are always people who have their head in the sand and refuse to even consider that something might happen. My priest is one of them. When I suggested at a parish council meeting (after the Charleston shooting) that there should be some sort of security plan, he actually laughed at me. Several others thought it was a good idea, but he refused to even discuss it. There are several police officers who are members, and he tells them he prefers them to disarm in church. That's how head in the sand he is. I ignore that and carry at church (even though he's told members he knows are shooters NOT to carry, the church isn't posted as a GFZ). Concealed is concealed, as the saying goes. By contrast, there is a small parish I visit sometimes. There are retired/active police officers and military who are members. They have a good plan in case of an active shooter, including who would go which way, and who would help the many seniors they have who have mobility issues. The priest welcomes me to carry.
I have no doubt that something might happen. And that's an ugly, scary feeling. I just feel that the average nice guy citizen is not equipped to improve a thug-involved situation, gun or no gun. Tradd, you would be the exception to my rule, because you clearly care - not just about your right to carry a gun, but your responsibility to perfect your target skills and observe the laws about gun ownership. I still don't know how you'd do under pressure, but at least you appear to have done everything in your power to be prepared. I would be less anti-gun if I could say the same about every dweeb in Arizona who wants to be Wyatt Earp.
Democratic beliefs don't kill people, people kill people
don't just be clever, tell me why the average American should be walking around with a gun at all times. I clearly said yesterday that I am open to compromise. I do not understand why you need to be armed at the grocery store
Some people are wolves, more people are sheep. The rest of us are sheepdogs, we're there for you wherever we are, even if you don't appreciate it.
Thank you, Kib. I'm a rare one in that I believe everyone with a CCL needs to have at least a safety class. The old timers are the ones who really scare me. I just sat down and added up how much training I've had. NRA Basic Pistol, 8 hours; IL CCL class, 8 hours (IL requires 16 hours, but I got credit for the NRA Basic Pistol class); Massad Ayoob (very well known trainer for LE and armed civilians) 20 hour class on the legalities of being an armed civilian + 20 hours live fire; 2 x 8 hours for Force on Force classes, using airlift pistols (great for simulating stress under fire), taught by local trainers who work with LE and serve on the state committee that works with schools for active shooter training; 4 hour weapons retention class (aka, how to keep your pistol if a bad guy tries to take it away from you).
The old timers are the ones who really scare me. I just sat down and added up how much training I've had. NRA Basic Pistol, 8 hours; IL CCL class, 8 hours (IL requires 16 hours, but I got credit for the NRA Basic Pistol class); Massad Ayoob (very well known trainer for LE and armed civilians) 20 hour class on the legalities of being an armed civilian + 20 hours live fire; 2 x 8 hours for Force on Force classes, using airlift pistols (great for simulating stress under fire), taught by local trainers who work with LE and serve on the state committee that works with schools for active shooter training; 4 hour weapons retention class (aka, how to keep your pistol if a bad guy tries to take it away from you).
I'm an old timer, don't be afraid. I carried a weapon every single day of my life between 1973 and 2005 (and still do at times), attending and conducting countless hours of training including live fire houses and more simulations than I could possibly remember. I'm currently a certified trainer for the ALiCE active shooter program (Alert, Lockdown, Inform, Counter, Evacuate) and routinely train my companies employees in a modified version.
The people I find most worrisome are the new CCW holders lacking a history of ongoing training coupled with the desire to let people know they're able to carry. To me, a weapon is a tool. I don't see many master carpenters bragging about their hammer. We old timers who carry for protection, mostly of others, don't either.
To another posters point, if she sees me in a supermarket she'll never know I'm carrying one of the tools of my trade and has no reason to worry about me. A sheepdog never harms the sheep.
this was the 45th school shooting just this year.
<snip>
2,500 kids killed so far this year.
Where did you get these numbers? 2500 kids killed - do they include the thugs and gang bangers getting killed in inner city violence?
I'm an old timer, don't be afraid. I carried a weapon every single day of my life between 1973 and 2005 (and still do at times), attending and conducting countless hours of training including live fire houses and more simulations than I could possibly remember. I'm currently a certified trainer for the ALiCE active shooter program (Alert, Lockdown, Inform, Counter, Evacuate) and routinely train my companies employees in a modified version.
The people I find most worrisome are the new CCW holders lacking a history of ongoing training coupled with the desire to let people know they're able to carry. To me, a weapon is a tool. I don't see many master carpenters bragging about their hammer. We old timers who carry for protection, mostly of others, don't either.
To another posters point, if she sees me in a supermarket she'll never know I'm carrying one of the tools of my trade and has no reason to worry about me. Sheepdogs never harm the sheep.
I'm talking about 60-80 year olds as "Old Timers" the ones who learned from their poppy and grand poppy in the 40s and 50s. A friend's now-ex hubby was the perfect case in point. She's 60 and he had 10 years on her. Good ol' Cajun boy. No trigger or muzzle discipline. Scared the heck out of me, waved a loaded pistol around. I taught my friend the safety rules and how to handle a gun safely.
freshstart
10-3-15, 10:44pm
Where did you get these numbers? 2500 kids killed - do they include the thugs and gang bangers getting killed in inner city violence?
Tradd, I do apologize, I try to post the references. http://www.gunviolencearchive.org
added kids and teens to age 17
the site has tons of detail and a lot I did not know. But I'm foggy again and do not remember what I read very well, I will re-look tomorrow unless you find it on the site first
freshstart
10-3-15, 10:52pm
I'm talking about 60-80 year olds as "Old Timers" the ones who learned from their poppy and grand poppy in the 40s and 50s. A friend's now-ex hubby was the perfect case in point. She's 60 and he had 10 years on her. Good ol' Cajun boy. No trigger or muzzle discipline. Scared the heck out of me, waved a loaded pistol around. I taught my friend the safety rules and how to handle a gun safely.
I had a couple of old timers, he accidentally shot her in the genitals and it went up her spine so she was paralyzed from the waste down. He was cleaning his gun. THAT HE NEVER USED. He dies. She lived 44 yrs like that. She had to have a catheter for urine, I cannot even describe how hard this was, it took 3 people. Thank God she could not feel it. She lived to 104, died because finally her daughter refused (more like was convinced) to finally have her constant urinary tract infections treated.
iris lilies
10-4-15, 12:53pm
We got a young bulldog into rescue, given up by his family because he has a heart murmur.I dont know his prognosis.
But my peeve is this: in this boy's litter 2 others have heart problems.
And the idiot breeder is continuing to breed the parent dogs. Let's put more deformed Bulldogs on the ground, it's exactly what the world needs. Not.
Our rescue group just lost a 4 year old female after Heartworm treatment which cost us around $2,000. She completed her treatment program, went to a rescue event, got overly excited, and died on the spot. That money is hard to come by and if only she would have been given heartworm prevention this pretty girl would have had a normal life. As it is the last two years of her life were not good for her, she was ill.
ugh. People. I don't like them, don't ask me to like them.
freshstart
10-4-15, 2:01pm
And the idiot breede is continuing to breed the parent dogs. Let's put more deformed Bulldogs on the ground, it's exactly what the world needs. Not.
our rescue group just lost a 4 year old female after Heartworm treatment,which cost around $2,000. She completed her treatment program, went to a rescue event, got overly excited, and died on the spot. That money is hard to come by and if only she would have been given heartworm prevention this prett girl would have had a normal life. As it is,mother last two years of her life were not good for her, she was ill.
ugh. People. I don't like them, don't ask me to like them.
if the breeders are doing that it has to be financially rewarding enough to have litters and cast off the deformed ones. Making the breeders sick puppies themselves, disgusting
that is so sad about the heart worm pup
Fitting rooms without clothes hooks.
Williamsmith
10-6-15, 8:26pm
Follow up customer service surveys. Straight to the trash can.
Follow up customer service surveys. Straight to the trash can.
Especially the ones that insist that the top grade is the only "passing" grade. Exactly what do they expect the survey to tell them?
lol. I've had exactly the same thought. The salesperson was aggressive enough to get me to put a check in this box. How nice for all of us.
freshstart
10-6-15, 9:59pm
Follow up customer service surveys. Straight to the trash can.
my doctors all participate in my health insurance plan. They just started sending out satisfaction surveys. I fill out the ones for my team of docs and tell them what sets them apart and why in the comment box. I care about them and if this in any small way helps them, I'm happy to do it. It's getting a little onerous as I am getting them for everything, even my mammogram so some I trash. The whole thing, could be pointless, I just have always liked telling someone's boss when an employee really helped. So I am probably not telling the right people. Sigh, now I have to figure that out, maybe I'll photocopy the survey and send it to the person in charge of the healthcare system. Everything else goes in the trash.
freshstart
10-6-15, 10:03pm
oh, I had a really good live chat person on Jet, very helpful. So when a survey came for rating her specifically, I gave her top marks and good comments. They emailed me that I could choose to gift her a coffee, a Jet item or lunch. I chose lunch but asked come on, do you really follow through and give these employees lunch? they said yes. I got a letter from her thanking me for her lunch and some manga drawings she does, lol, IDK if Manga is the right word, but it certainly was not a form letter!
ToomuchStuff
10-8-15, 12:17am
Paying for someone else's stupidity.
At some point in time, in the near future, I expect to be working a bunch more overtime, due to the other full timer, breaking his hand moving something, because he was drunk and it was late at night.
When it hits, I may be on 7, 12 hour days for a few weeks.>:(
freshstart
10-8-15, 1:20am
are you a 13 yr old child in China roped to a sewing machine, will they give you bathroom breaks? 7 days a week, 12 hrs days for a few weeks, not cool
I'm just a bit disappointed in a "friend." I had a pen pal in London in the 1980s, went to visit her three times, then we had a falling out. Recently we became friends again on social media, and she apologized for her behavior and I for mine. I emailed her last week to ask her about lodgings in London, and would she be willing to meet up for tea/coffee/whatever. Have not heard from her at all. I know she's busy, but I wish she had at least said, "Will have to get back to you on this." Maybe she's feeling awkward. I know I am.
freshstart
10-8-15, 10:00pm
yeah, she could've said she'd chat soon if she is really busy, that was nice of you to try to make a new connection
Kardashian cr*p every time I seem to hit the "news" sites.
Kardashian cr*p every time I seem to hit the "news" sites.
I don't get it. Why is she even worth mentioning??
SteveinMN
10-10-15, 5:26pm
I don't get it. Why is she even worth mentioning??
Oh, it's not just Kim. It's Khloe and Katee and Kharmykl and all the other Ks. And the Jenners who got intertwined with this wagon train. I'm at the point where if I see the syllable Kard my eyes just move on to the next item. At least nowadays you don't hear so much about Paris Hilton...
freshstart
10-10-15, 5:35pm
I actually read a Kardashian article, IDK why, but she said Kanye wants to name their Christmas (she is having a c-section, thus the supercute Christmas due date) baby, South. I'm out. Wake me when we get to little West West, because I would just deeply need to know that.
Gardenarian
10-10-15, 5:37pm
Who?
freshstart
10-10-15, 5:43pm
Kim Kardashian and Kayne West named their first baby North. He wants to name the next one South. So North West, South West, etc. I'm really hoping pop culture explodes and they eventually have a little West West
What the general public seems like they are really interested in. Or maybe the media just make me think the rest of the population is interested in.
Kim Kardashian and Kayne West named their first baby North. He wants to name the next one South. So North West, South West, etc. I'm really hoping pop culture explodes and they eventually have a little West WestYou may have to get through North North West and South South West first.
Ok, I know I've used up way too much rant space lately, but Honestly! I call my dr's office with a request: 1. please upgrade my prescription as agreed between my dr. and I, and then 2. please fax said script to pharmacy x at location y. Three hours later I check and there's nothing, I call office and am told they faxed the old (wrong) script to a pharmacy in sierra vista I've never even visited. I take a deep breath and repeat all the info. 45 minutes later i get a call that it's been done. an hour after that I call the pharmacy and they still have nothing. I call the dr's office again and they tell me no, it hasn't been sent yet. And then repeat the name and address of the wrong pharmacy as where they're going to send it. This is an office of six people.
Could I put in a request that minimum wage be lowered to $4 per hour until basic competence is proven?
Let's add in, one script isn't coming due for 2 weeks, I need it now because I'll be overseas in two weeks. This is old lady hormones. You'd think I was begging for morphine syringes. 'You have to call your insurance co.' Ins co after 20 minute hold, no, you have to have the pharmacy put in a request, get it rejected and then have their help desk call for an override. Aargh ... are these people all on drugs?
And the pharmacy portal that asked for all my info so it could transfer my prescriptions took the info nicely, and now it is all gone, they're saying it will "probably" reappear out of thin air. Right. sure it will.
This is a tempest in a teacup, I know, but it's such a shining example of how our modern life makes it impossible to do the simplest thing without some absurd life-consuming screw up. Astonishing, does anyone else feel like they can't so much as blink and have it go right any more?
freshstart
10-14-15, 6:27pm
I hear you, this was one of the biggest PITAs of my job. Someone needs pain meds now, ok, I call, emphasizing how bad the patient feels in detail. 3 hrs, nothing, 4 and 5 hrs, nothing, hour six I actually have held the phone near the patient sobbing and screaming in pain and then kindly say, "it would be great all around, if one of you, any of you, would give this message for the 3rd or 4th time to a nurse or doctor so there is a chance of that sound stopping today? Would you like to feel like that?" Repeatedly explain narc scripts are accepted at our pharmacy but must be done by a certain time, do not send to any other pharmacy, or call me saying I have to pick it up. It is a law that you can fax these scripts, your office does it all the time so what makes you so special that you cannot get this handled, maybe I should speak to the office manager? Then it might get done, or unbelievably, they would close the office and go home not giving a shit about the screaming, sobbing patient. And I would have to punt it to the night nurse, but our pharmacy had closed, and on and on with issues. I worked in a radiation onc office, I know being the receptionist sucks, I honestly could not stand to do that job, but if someone is screaming, staff need to know when to bump up a phone call from routine to emergent, and if they aren't sure how to triage somebody, ask the nurse, don't just ignore it.
if that doc was my primary and the front desk was that bad, I would find another doctor, someone who won't triage my massive MI until after multiple patients with flu, colds and sore throats. You can't triage by who called first. End rant and a part of my job I will not miss!
Williamsmith
10-14-15, 8:23pm
I won't go into the details but it had to do with a simple request to reorder a script and send it to my local pharmacy. Things got all screwed up. Well, my theory is, "Trustworthy in small things, trustworthy in big things." I drove to the doctors office, asked to see the manager and told him he and the doctor he represents are fired. Went one block away and asked another doctor to take me and my insurance as new patients. Done deal. Vote with your feet. If you don't some day their incompetence might mean your life.
ToomuchStuff
10-15-15, 11:19am
Unfortunately, drugs is a two sided issue. When a script says it needs to be taken with food, IT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN WITH FOOD. One boss ended up in the hospital for low blood sugar (taking medicine on a empty stomach, repeatedly). Wish they would both choose to listen to their doc's advice.
I suppose since I'm 65 now, from now on I will get tons of junk mail, asking me to choose them for my Medicare Part B and D during the Fall until open enrollment is over. And crap magazines keep coming, even though I have "opted out". It all fills a grocery sack in no time, and then I drive it to recycling. Oh.......and since I bought a new car a couple months ago, I'm getting all sorts of junk mail from companies saying "Hey......heard you bought a new Honda! How about some insurance???"
It really IRKS me that they are cutting down trees for this crap!!
freshstart
10-15-15, 9:38pm
I understand totally. When I turned 45, AARP sent out an invite to the magazine, sent junk mail and called me all the time, WTH? I kept saying that I was 45. I finally found some master number and said they were depressing me, stop the AARP crap, give me 10 yrs and maybe then we can talk.
and now, since being listed in some giant book of disabled people, I'm getting all that medicare stuff, too. When you have to be on SSDI for 2 yrs before getting that and I have over 14 months til my hearing, so that's 3 yrs. What a waste of money, time and resources.
I sort mail over the recycling bin.
SteveinMN
10-30-15, 11:15am
Over the years I've hired many handymen (have yet to find a handywoman, but that's another thread). Why is it that every handyman has this seemingly-pathological need to cr@p the bed?
I've hired guys who are recommended but don't return phone calls. Or show up late, without explanation, for estimates. Or show up once and do good work and require the services of the CIA to find them again when you have more work for them.
Today I have a handyman at my mom's place. I've hired him several times in the past and he's done very good work. Our first conversation on-site was about an entry door that is out of square and drafty. I told him I didn't know if it needed shimming or weatherstripping or anything up to and including a new door (that's why I'm asking for his opinion). I know The Right Fix may not be cheap. But I got lots of chin rubbing and hemming and hawing about having to line up help and order doors and how this is a warm-weather project (it'll be 55-60 degrees today). And a bid for the job that has me calling window & door installers because it sure sounds like an "I don't want to do this job" price.
My mom also has one of those IKEA-style DIY medicine cabinets she wants built and attached to the wall. I get that this is not a fun project -- I could have done it but knew it would have taken me all day and likely would have included a few sharp words. The handyman is mumbling and fumbling about the "hundreds" of pieces in the box (hyperbole much?) and the large-ish bag of undifferentiated cam locks and screw covers which will require time to sort out (and hope were packed in sufficient quantity). Nobody was paying me to get it done; I'm paying him by the hour.
So what's the deal? Why not just swallow hard and let me know that it likely will take several hours to get this all sorted out and together and hooked onto the wall? Why leave me feeling like he's doing me a favor by getting paid for this task? Or is it that he lacks the guts (or the respect for me) to tell me flat out that he doesn't want some or all of these projects? From my business, I understand there are some jobs which you don't want to (or can't) take on. But he seems like one more handyman who does good work at a fair price who behaves in such a way that I'll think twice (or forget entirely) about calling him next time. Why is this so endemic?
Float On
10-30-15, 11:26am
So what's the deal? Why not just swallow hard and let me know that it likely will take several hours to get this all sorted out and together and hooked onto the wall? Why leave me feeling like he's doing me a favor by getting paid for this task? Or is it that he lacks the guts (or the respect for me) to tell me flat out that he doesn't want some or all of these projects? From my business, I understand there are some jobs which you don't want to (or can't) take on. But he seems like one more handyman who does good work at a fair price who behaves in such a way that I'll think twice (or forget entirely) about calling him next time. Why is this so endemic?
I had a mower like that once. He complained every single time he came to mow. I was very thankful when I could take over the job again. Just dreaded him pulling into our driveway.
iris lilies
10-30-15, 11:41am
DH, retired handyman, regularly did not return calls. I hate that. Whenever I got one of these calls for a new customer I would suggest that perhaps, if DH didn't call back soon, they should try someone else. Then they would ask if I had any suggestions and of course the other guys I know who are good are also too busy to take on little jobs or new customers.
its a legitimate beef.
and then the "complaining." DH does some of that in that he talks it through what he will have to do on a job and I have come to the realization that is his "process" for working through the job in his head,to arrive at a price. Sort of. I tell him that people don't care to know what he has to do, what pieces he has to buy, etc.
iris lilies
11-1-15, 12:02pm
Steve--
today the " ikea problem" came up here because our neighbor wants DH to put together an IKEA cabinet and she will pay him, of course. He started reciting the IKEA lament about a many pieces, missing parts, questionable instructions, yadda. It was kind of funny because we had just been talking about the issue here.
so I pinned down DH about why this seems to be such an issue and he said it's because he can't estimate how much time it will take to put together this IKEA stuff. I asked why that mattered since he was being paid By the hour. He said that it is impossible to,plan his day if he's working on one of those IKEA build things. Now that he is retired that's not a big thing, but for people who have several customers who want them right away as well as an close estimate of the cost, it's not good.
DH has put together several IKEA kitchens and he doesn't mind those.
so I pinned down DH about why this seems to be such an issue and he said it's because he can't estimate how much time it will take to put together this IKEA stuff. I asked why that mattered since he was being paid By the hour. He said that it is impossible to,plan his day if he's working on one of those IKEA build things. Now that he is retired that's not a big thing, but for people who have several customers who want them right away as well as an close estimate of the cost, it's not good.
Thanks, IL. I certainly can understand how difficult it can be to estimate something one hasn't done many times before. In this case, the handyman said he'd planned to be there all day. Maybe it was just a reflexive habit.
For what it's worth, he got the cabinet in (very nice job; there were a few spanners in the works for that task) and the exterior-lights installation done. And then went home without calling me to write his check. He'll be back for sure to do more work (my mom has a list she wants done for herself) though I have two door installers coming on Monday to give me estimates for the back entry.
A "peeve" on Thanksgiving is not a good thing, but it's one we've discussed before: Apostrophes everywhere whether needed or not. The latest was in an obit I happened on which described the deceased woman's "three son's" Oy.
Apparently the papers are running obits exactly as submitted because I've seen typos and misspellings before, but this is a new one.
SteveinMN
11-26-15, 9:14pm
Apparently the papers are running obits exactly as submitted because I've seen typos and misspellings before, but this is a new one.
For what it's worth, most of the larger papers here have farmed out obituaries to a third party -- often the same one. So mistakes in their listings seemingly will propogate among many papers.
Williamsmith
11-26-15, 9:45pm
I have often thought being a proofreader might not be too bad but it appears these days nobody really cares if there are some misspellings. So there are probably no jobs.
Yes I agree the papers probably eliminated the proofreader positions, but it seems it would be a kindness for the person taking the information to do simple editing in an obit which is a permanent record.
Saw another one story today where someone was describing their "parent's" I give up.
Steve.......about the handymen..........I think that's what a lot of men do, when they can't hold down a "real" job.......or don't have the skill. I had a handy-man type build a shed for me once. What a mess. I ended up having to hire a "real" builder to fix it all. Maybe it would be better to call certain service groups (builders, electricians, plumbers, etc) and ask if anyone there does side jobs??
SteveinMN
11-28-15, 10:14am
Steve.......about the handymen..........I think that's what a lot of men do, when they can't hold down a "real" job.......or don't have the skill. I had a handy-man type build a shed for me once. What a mess.
The thing is that I've hired guys who do good work -- they're just lousy businessmen. I haven't written about it here before, but the company we hired to replace our windows is the same: calls/voicemails go unacknowledged or unanswered, the sales rep comes late for appointments, his emails look like garbage. It's an acceptable flaw in someone who is only doing "side jobs". But in someone trying to sell his (her?) proficiency to the public? Either learn how to do it passably well or find someone who can help you. If these guys opened a retail store, it probably would not have a sign outside, the place would be dusty, and the receipts would be printed on torn scraps of cardboard.
Interestingly, the two biggest installation mistakes anyone made in our house came from "captive" techs -- people who worked at (and were paid by) the company that sold us the goods. At least in those cases, the guys were smart enough to align themselves with a company which could handle the marketing and the phones and appointments for them. Too bad they still did questionable work.
Williamsmith
11-29-15, 5:25pm
THe dreaded Christmas Letter.......:doh:
THe dreaded Christmas Letter.......:doh::~)
I get one from my first grade teacher, who befriended my mom 46 years ago. I don't even KNOW these super-genius powerhouse millionaire pulitzer prize winners, let alone care.
People who talk with food in their mouths.
Yuck.
I keep switching tables at the Senior Center lunch. I'm almost out of new-to-me tables. I'll have to stop going soon.
Gardenarian
12-9-15, 2:13am
My DD has what amounts to a phobia about other people eating.
Drives her nuts when people smack there lips and such.
I've been watching The Great British Baking Show, it's a contest. Mary Berry is one of the judges and it's bizarre, she's this lovely steely old lady, perfectly turned out, slender and starched to perfection in her Chanel suits and coiffed hair, the doyenne of baking. Then she takes a bite of something and starts critiquing it. "Unght thuth guh guh phhhtt"; you imagine gnashing teeth and a spray of biscuit crumbs and drool as you listen. Ick.
Love that show. Have not noticed any issue with Mary Berry. Now when one of the announcers stuck her elbow in one of the contestants product, I had an issue. e II loved getting some of the episodes online on Youtube I think.
IshbelRobertson
12-9-15, 6:37pm
Another Great British Institution. Don't you know we breed eccentrics here? :welcome:
ABC has bought the use of the set and Mary Berry is one of the judges for a similiar show with American bakers. They are not nearly as good as the British bakers. They do not have the depth of knowledge and their decorating is pretty poor. The show has the same three elements but is just not quite up to the quality of the original.
IshbelRobertson
12-10-15, 4:30am
The BBC seem to make a killing franchising their shows around the globe. The UK's Strictly Come Dancing is now global, under slightly different names. The UK name wouldn't work anywhere else!
JaneV2.0
12-10-15, 12:01pm
Another Great British Institution. Don't you know we breed eccentrics here? :welcome:
So that explains it! I can credit a 15% or so British heritage for my eccentricities.
They definitely come from that side of the family. (And I embrace every non-stodgy molecule!)
Gardenarian
12-10-15, 2:49pm
Posts I make from my new tablet seem to be disappearing into thin air... I wrote a long thing asking for advice on raised beds; where did it go?
SteveinMN
12-23-15, 11:58am
We've had a spate of funerals to attend lately, so our stock of sympathy cards was depleted. I went to buy more as well as a birthday card for a special aunt of mine. OMG -- a simple card, with maybe a little glitter but no embossing or ribbon or a special size or shape, goes for $3! The birthday card was at least local and obviously hand-assembled. It was only $3.69 -- a bargain for what you got relative to the generic big-name card. We'll continue to buy cards because the prevalence of sentiments expressed via Facebook greetings and text messages makes getting a physical card in the mail something special. But the going rate is almost enough to get me looking at what it would cost to print our own...
I have to admit, I'm getting to be a fan of the Christmas picture / card. I don't really do facebook, so it's nice to get the occasional update via photo from folks I haven't seen in years. I just fiddled with Vistaprint.com and they're about $1 apiece with envelope- and 50% off. So both a lot cheaper and more personalized than the $3-$6 store cards. I think you could also design your own card, say a birthday or sympathy card, and have them print it for the same price, just have to put your art in .jpg form, I'm considering creating some birthday cards next year.
Steve - have you tried the "just wink" site? There's an iPhone app for it works great also. It's about $3. But that includes adding a photo of your own to the card and postage. You can email the card for free which I do for my tech savvy people who value that even more than a physical card because it reduces physical clutter. But for my traditional people I spend the $3 and they like it so much cause it's different than a regular card from hallmark.
iris lilies
12-23-15, 2:52pm
Steve, DH sends multiple cards to his family each year, it's their thing. But we look for the 99 cent cards.
of course, if one has small children in the house you can ask them to make one for you, but we don't.
SteveinMN
12-23-15, 10:54pm
have you tried the "just wink" site?
I'll have to check that out; thanks! I've created photocards as donations for charitable events and I'm guessing that will be a staple product if I ever go 'fine art'. But I never really thought of doing my own cards. They wouldn't have to be photo cards, either (though for a photographer it makes sense). Even with a service, it's got to be cheaper than buying cards at $3+ apiece -- and not a lot more time invested once you stop at the "good" card store and search through and pay for several cards.
We did use Vistaprint a few years ago for a calendar DW did (or somesuch). They did a nice job. But (at least for us) their presence in our lives became like gum on the bottom of a shoe -- near-daily emails and special offers and mailings... We finally told them we were never going to invite that firehose into our lives again.
of course, if one has small children in the house you can ask them to make one for you, but we don't.
We're working on that one. I figure we've got a couple of years until our grandchild has even rudimentary motor skills for card-decorating, though. :laff:
I hate to have a rant so early in the new year but it has been a rocky transition for me...working at a certain grocery store is kicking my proverbial a**, especially today. I am so disgusted and irritated with the people who write the schedule, and the people who call off and don't show up for work. This is the day before everyone goes back to work and school and they WANT their lunch meat and cheese. You CANNOT run a deli counter with just two people under those conditions and expect those two people to be very happy about it. I was literally moving non-stop from 5:45 am until 2:35 pm, minus my breaks and a lunch. The grind of it all...I am really trying not to succumb to a bad attitude and depression.
Thanks, I just needed to rant to someone, and I don't want to rant to my mom. She never likes to hear anything negative and discounts most of my feelings. I don't need judgements or advice, I just needed to get it off my chest. Thank you. I am now going to lie down and waste most of my afternoon away trying to recuperate my knees, ankles and feet before I have to do it all over again tomorrow at 6am...
rodeosweetheart
1-3-16, 5:11pm
Snow. Tried to get out of house when it stopped and it started up again.
I realize I really, really hate snow.
we've had a total of four inches of snow this whole season, it feels so weird but it's pretty and we're saving on the plow guy
our dollar store the cards are 2 for $1 and they say the regular price on the back so you don't look chintzy. My family knows I hate the waste of cards and am really happier with a little note on paper. I can't stand generic sentiments and I've seen cards that aren't really special for over $5. What a waste. But I agree there are people for whom getting a card really matters to them, especially sympathy cards.
We've had a spate of funerals to attend lately, so our stock of sympathy cards was depleted. I went to buy more as well as a birthday card for a special aunt of mine. OMG -- a simple card, with maybe a little glitter but no embossing or ribbon or a special size or shape, goes for $3! The birthday card was at least local and obviously hand-assembled. It was only $3.69 -- a bargain for what you got relative to the generic big-name card. We'll continue to buy cards because the prevalence of sentiments expressed via Facebook greetings and text messages makes getting a physical card in the mail something special. But the going rate is almost enough to get me looking at what it would cost to print our own...
Dollar Tree, Dollar General, and many of the other dollar type stores have great selections and usually 2/$1 or 1/$1. I go in a few times a year just to shop cards and keep a stash.
We did use Vistaprint a few years ago for a calendar DW did (or somesuch).
I've used vistaprint to make cards using my photography of DH's glass, have run across some really good deals on occasion.
iris lilies
1-7-16, 3:32am
My rant is about the rocks under rocks I'm finding in one of my hobby groups. The President dropped out due to health with no warning. We had made a commitment to do a big thing in 2017. I stepped in to help and found:
He had not even started the thing
The thing requires hours of paperwork, gathering all kinds of documents we should have but do not, basic documents such as bylaws, income and expense reports, Sec of State filing
He hadn't completed the Sec of State filing for the year and I had to rush in, figure out what needed to be done, and do it by the deadline
The president and secretary, both suffering from some dementia, claim they have no records in hard copy belonging to the organization, nothing passed on from previous President
The previous President is dead
The Vice President gave me a copy of the IRS letter he's been using for years--and I looked it up to find that our IRS exemption expired in 2010
and now for the final straw:
The Treasurer says she can't find $4,000 of our assets. that's more than half of our money
None of these people are able to respond to email and they are all hard of hearing, as am I, so it is difficult to talk to them on the phone. I have driven to each of their homes, sat with them at their dining room tables going over issues and whatever records they DO have. Its is one freaking mess and a huge time suck for me.
This organization will be dead in two years when we've finished helping with the big thing. All of this is just SO UNNECESSARY, if only these oldsters in charge had done what they were supposed to do, all they had to do was keep up the basic administrative documents and statuses. Putting it back together takes tons of time and for an org that will be dead soon, it's a waste of my life energy.
I'm up tonight worrying about it. I've drawn my line in the sand, will get the work done to X point. If that's not good enough to propel it all forward, that's too bad, but I am out.
are there any other members who can help by taking over a small chunk and dealing with the particular oldster who was responsible for that? Losing all that money, wow. It sounds like the people running this outfit have collective dementia. i don't envy you but it's nice you are willing to stick it out with the big project.
iris lilies
1-7-16, 7:26am
are there any other members who can help by taking over a small chunk and dealing with the particular oldster who was responsible for that? Losing all that money, wow. It sounds like the people running this outfit have collective dementia. i don't envy you but it's nice you are willing to stick it out with the big project.
There is only one other person of sound mind and body who can do stuff. She's the one who made the commitment to the Big Thing in 2017 and I stepped in to help her. The oldsters do not deserve my help, but she does.
Fortunately, my husband who is nicer than I am, agreed to serve as Vice President (while I take over as President.) His sole task is to find the damned money and he will be gentle with the little lady who told everyone that she rolled over the CD of $4000 but now claims not to know anything about it.
I wish the person sitting next to me at work would stop humming all day long. It's a tuneless sort of humming, very low, but it is driving me bananas.
Usually we only work together two hours a day. However, right now it's eight hours a day and I feel like clubbing him. I can't wear earplugs or listen to music or anything. I can't go work at another desk.
There is nothing likable about this person at all, by the way. I can't say that about a lot of people, honestly. This person, I just find him repulsive.
I wish the man I worked with would not greet me with "Top of the morning, to you!" every day.....he's not even Irish.
Culturally appropriating bastard! :~)
This totally cracked me up!
I wish the man I worked with would not greet me with "Top of the morning, to you!" every day.....he's not even Irish.
rodeosweetheart
1-7-16, 11:40am
I hate it when students end letters to me with "Cheers" as though we're on this chummy journey together, shipboard.
There is only one other person of sound mind and body who can do stuff. She's the one who made the commitment to the Big Thing in 2017 and I stepped in to help her. The oldsters do not deserve my help, but she does.
I came here to post my somewhat-related rant and read these posts. Ugh. My sympathies, IL. My question is, what's the worst that happens if (collective) you don't do The Big Thing? It kind of sounds like you're out of business in two years regardless.
My rant is about a Web site of community resources that someone outside of our organization sold well enough to receive (private) grant money to build -- but not enough money to maintain. They were hopelessly optimistic about community buy-in and interest ("They'll do it for free!" "We'll be greeted as liberators!"). Now, of course, the database is unusable. And now the organization that thought this was such a great idea (but not enough to fund it adequately) wants to ship this tire fire to our organization. I'm the only one in our organization with enough of IT background to see what's happening and I've been resisting mightily. My best course of action may be to remove myself from this particular project and continue working on things like bylaws, procedures, financial reports, etc. (we didn't have those either before this year, but at least dementia hasn't set in here and we know where we spent our money).
iris lilies
1-7-16, 2:55pm
I hate it when students end letters to me with "Cheers" as though we're on this chummy journey together, shipboard.
Oh no! I use "cheers!" all the time. I find it, well, cheerful.
iris lilies
1-7-16, 3:19pm
I came here to post my somewhat-related rant and read these posts. Ugh. My sympathies, IL. My question is, what's the worst that happens if (collective) you don't do The Big Thing? It kind of sounds like you're out of business in two years regardless.
My rant is about a Web site of community resources that someone outside of our organization sold well enough to receive (private) grant money to build -- but not enough money to maintain. They were hopelessly optimistic about community buy-in and interest ("They'll do it for free!" "We'll be greeted as liberators!"). Now, of course, the database is unusable. And now the organization that thought this was such a great idea (but not enough to fund it adequately) wants to ship this tire fire to our organization. I'm the only one in our organization with enough of IT background to see what's happening and I've been resisting mightily. My best course of action may be to remove myself from this particular project and continue working on things like bylaws, procedures, financial reports, etc. (we didn't have those either before this year, but at least dementia hasn't set in here and we know where we spent our money).
The Big Thing is a national conference, and we told th national organization that they could use our state tax exempt number in order to save about $2,000 in taxes. Then a few months later the competent person and I discovered that our organization's exempt status expired in 2007. No one had bothered to keep it up, and it's a boatload of paperwork that I'm completing to set it up again.
So this thing working on is only worth $2000 and if I don't do it right, I guess the national organization is out $2,000.
ah yes, things built with grant money and then abandoned. I see them all over our neighborhood. Do not get sucked into the IT abyss! :laff:
our organization is SO lucky to have a professional web designer maintain our website, it's the
ONLY positive thing about our organization. she is also the other competent person in the organization.
Why can't dish soap manufacturers put their products in bottles you can easily hold with wet hands? I usually have to wrap them in rubber bands, and sometimes that doesn't help. I'm looking at you, Dawn.
Williamsmith
1-7-16, 4:48pm
JaneV2.0....... You want both a great product and a well designed bottle? Plus all those waterfowl and ocean birds and mammals they have saved. I think thou dost protest a little too much. Dawn is in the dish detergent Hall of Fame, first ballot you know. Now if you want to pick on Ivory liquid ....well that's clearly an under achiever.
I suppose that's too much to ask for. I suppose I could wrap the bottle in a plastic scrubby...
You want a horrible bottle, try Method. More or less square, slippery and impossible to squeeze with a stingy little opening. Personally I buy the gigantic size of Dawn, and pour some in a small plastic bottle that used to hold agave syrup.
You want a horrible bottle, try Method. More or less square, slippery and impossible to squeeze with a stingy little opening. Personally I buy the gigantic size of Dawn, and pour some in a small plastic bottle that used to hold agave syrup.
This.
I put mine in a ball jar with pump and leave it setting on the edge of the sink. A few pumps and I'm set.
Williamsmith
1-7-16, 10:06pm
Okay, so the wife likes to watch HGTV but if I see another episode of Flip or Flop , Property Brothers or Fixer Upper for the fifth rerun........part of my head will explode. And when I tell her I've see this episode at least five times......I get nothing....no response.......is she even still alive? Did some alien network taken over her brain?
This.
I put mine in a ball jar with pump and leave it setting on the edge of the sink. A few pumps and I'm set.
For awhile, I was using a better-designed bottle. That Ball jar pump sounds like a good idea.
freshstart
1-8-16, 12:10am
Okay, so the wife likes to watch HGTV but if I see another episode of Flip or Flop , Property Brothers or Fixer Upper for the fifth rerun........part of my head will explode. And when I tell her I've see this episode at least five times......I get nothing....no response.......is she even still alive? Did some alien network taken over her brain?
be very glad she isn't roping you into "simple" house projects that she learns about on those shows. My very ill mother watches them all day and keeps an Idea Journal that she shares with her DH who is in a metal back brace contraption from neck to hips and not allowed to bend for over 6 mos. When she hands him the journal one too many times, pages go flying, as do obscenities.
But yeah, that would make me crazy, too.
I wish the man I worked with would not greet me with "Top of the morning, to you!" every day.....he's not even Irish.
This is funny. Reminds me of a guy who worked in an office down our hallway - not in our department - and whenever he saw you he'd have to toss in a "have a great morning", or "have a great afternoon", or "have a great evening." So of course if you ran into him 3 times that day you'd get the entire recital. Every day.
be very glad she isn't roping you into "simple" house projects that she learns about on those shows. My very ill mother watches them all day and keeps an Idea Journal
I have no idea how many of these shows my mom watches, but they make me want to rip out her TV cable at its root. I'll grant that I don't watch these shows, but I remember watching "This Old House" and "Hometime" and it always irked me that they hardly ever discuss how much the project cost (nevermind the free goods and services they get for promotional purposes). As a result, my mom thinks installing a new light fixture in 90-year-old rental property costs only what it takes to buy the lamp at Menard's. >8) Argghhhh....
Similarly, that a gorgeous piece of built in furniture can be created by anyone with a hammer and a couple of saw horses. For $25. cow-hi
Call me squeamish, but I get kind of grossed out when I see someone with a urine collection bag dangling by their side while they are walking through the grocery store where I work with food...
Williamsmith
1-13-16, 10:36pm
There was a paraplegic who happened to be an alcoholic also. He drove around from bar to bar in a van with his wheelchair along for the ride. Well, he drove drunk and did it often. He thought he was kind of untouchable because the only field sobriety tests you could have him perform was possibly the alphabet and the nystagmus gaze which I got pretty adept at but still felt it was kind of hocus pocus.
Anyway, nobody would stop him because if they did and he was drunk, it would require thinking out of the box to deal with him. One night I stopped him. He remained in his drivers seat and I happened to have a new breathalyzer. He failed of course. At this moment while I was standing by the driver door and he seated in the drivers seat with the door open, lifted his pant leg just a little and released the valve on his urine bag. His urine ran out the bottom of his pant leg by the ankle through plastic tubing and right onto my leg and shoes.
He took a ride in an ambulance under arrest for DUI and gave blood at the hospital.
Sorry, your rant reminded me. I had placed that experience in a box way in the back of my mind.
My co-workers won't lock the doors when they leave in the evening. It's driving me crazy. When people are working alone at night you don't want someone to just wander in. Lock the goddamn door. In December when there was just me and one other permanent staff she locked the door. Now that there are 3 people plus a temp (including the original lady) all four of them don't lock up. I'm almost always working a bit later- I shouldn't have to follow them around like a parent. Where is common sense? Today I reminded 3 of them to lock the doors, and nope, still left unlocked. I'm normally quite patient but I want to scream at them. We don't have a boss on site to reinforce proper procedures.
Williamsmith
1-14-16, 3:16am
A hammer and a few sixteen penny nails should get the point across rather nicely. Not another word need be said.
freshstart
1-14-16, 5:16am
as gross as it is to look at, it is hard to hide a foley bag for a man wearing pants. There are leg bags but they don't hold enough for some men who aren't adept at emptying it. Sometimes, the old and sick who have one, just really want to get out of the house, they feel just as awkward as you being seen with it. I've seen some people cover it with a fabric bag. I try to think of it as akin to nursing a baby, you aren't doing it to flash boobage, you're doing it because it's a natural part of life. Of course, some don't care at all, are young and healthy enough to cover it and just don't, or they are dicks about it when pulled over for a DUI.
freshstart
1-19-16, 3:28pm
I have to get a handle on my Dad's grocery spending since I pay half. He spent over $100, was supposed to be buying produce, milk, cold cuts, bread. Our freezers cannot hold another thing. He came home with 5 different kinds of bread and we have nowhere to put them, forgot the cold cuts. He had Jimmy Dean sausage and egg sandwiches which none of us should be eating, especially him. No room in freezer so he sticks them in fridge to be eaten quickly, but neither my mom or I will eat them. And 3 kinds of cookies. A third can of hot chocolate no one asked for or is drinking the first two. He spent $3 on a small bag of plain pop corn. When we have an air popper that we us all the time and it tastes better. The only produce was clementines, my favorite luckily, but no vegetables. When I saw how little he got for over $100, I felt physically sick. Only protein was the Jimmy Dean crap.
I don't know how to fix this, I am supposed to be walking only small amts so I cannot go with him all the time, only quick runs in and out. I circle sales in the flyer and list suggested things to get with an item to make a meal. He always comes home without everything needed for the meal, so he waits a few days and goes back to the store and overspends again. I type up the list so it's not that he can't read my hand writing. I tried to get them to do online ordering and delivery, he hated that and I'm pretty sure that was because he is a diabetic and he likes buying things he shouldn't eat on impulse. I've given up on him ever following the diabetic diet but at least his sugars are tightly controlled through use of an insulin pump. He's 69, if he wants to order his crap online to be delivered, I am not going to stop him, I tried to tell him that but it falls on deaf ears. He bitches about shopping but must secretly like it if he refuses online and goes way more often than we need.
I'm thinking of saying I cannot afford all this excess and also, I am paying half when 3 of us live here. But I don't think morally I should do this because they have helped me on groceries (and the big one- property and school tax) when things were really tight. He never even asks for the 50%, I just do it. Their budget can handle this, so he is unlikely to change. Ugh, I feel stuck. I will not nickel and dime them on who eats what after all they've done for me. I guess this is just a rant.
he's in his chair eating a stinky Jimmy Dean sandwich and I want to slap him silly, lol!
iris lilies
1-19-16, 3:40pm
I have to get a handle on my Dad's grocery spending since I pay half. ...
he's in his chair eating a stinky Jimmy Dean sandwich and I want to slap him silly, lol!
Girlfriend, stop paying half. Right this second.
Do your own shopping online. If he doesn't like that then offer to do all of the "shopping" online, assuming that's an option.
Yes, I know it will lead to difficult conversations, but this is nuts as you've described it.
I need to send you my DH for a while. He is the ultimate "stick to a list" guy. If it's not on the list, he doesn't know what to buy except for milk, yogurt, and bananas, those are his staples. He wouldn't dream of buying cookies or baked goods because he bakes all of his own stuff, he thinks the store stuff is crappy.
Ultralight
1-19-16, 3:42pm
I have to get a handle on my Dad's grocery spending since I pay half. He spent over $100, was supposed to be buying produce, milk, cold cuts, bread. Our freezers cannot hold another thing. He came home with 5 different kinds of bread and we have nowhere to put them, forgot the cold cuts. He had Jimmy Dean sausage and egg sandwiches which none of us should be eating, especially him. No room in freezer so he sticks them in fridge to be eaten quickly, but neither my mom or I will eat them. And 3 kinds of cookies. A third can of hot chocolate no one asked for or is drinking the first two. He spent $3 on a small bag of plain pop corn. When we have an air popper that we us all the time and it tastes better. The only produce was clementines, my favorite luckily, but no vegetables. When I saw how little he got for over $100, I felt physically sick. Only protein was the Jimmy Dean crap.
I don't know how to fix this, I am supposed to be walking only small amts so I cannot go with him all the time, only quick runs in and out. I circle sales in the flyer and list suggested things to get with an item to make a meal. He always comes home without everything needed for the meal, so he waits a few days and goes back to the store and overspends again. I type up the list so it's not that he can't read my hand writing. I tried to get them to do online ordering and delivery, he hated that and I'm pretty sure that was because he is a diabetic and he likes buying things he shouldn't eat on impulse. I've given up on him ever following the diabetic diet but at least his sugars are tightly controlled through use of an insulin pump. He's 69, if he wants to order his crap online to be delivered, I am not going to stop him, I tried to tell him that but it falls on deaf ears. He bitches about shopping but must secretly like it if he refuses online and goes way more often than we need.
I'm thinking of saying I cannot afford all this excess and also, I am paying half when 3 of us live here. But I don't think morally I should do this because they have helped me on groceries (and the big one- property and school tax) when things were really tight. He never even asks for the 50%, I just do it. Their budget can handle this, so he is unlikely to change. Ugh, I feel stuck. I will not nickel and dime them on who eats what after all they've done for me. I guess this is just a rant.
he's in his chair eating a stinky Jimmy Dean sandwich and I want to slap him silly, lol!
We gotta get you out of there someday!
Around here, Safeway will deliver groceries. It costs between $10 and $15 depending on how much you buy (cheaper if you buy more), sometimes they discount that. You can get anything including all your frozens, meat, dairy and fresh produce. Amazon Pantry might be cheaper for durable goods, they will ship something like 45 pounds for $6. I don't know if you can get the best savings and deals, but it would be better than spending $100 on breakfast sandwiches.
freshstart
1-19-16, 4:14pm
the plan had good intentions, my kids were close to launch, I wanted less space. They needed a handicapped accessible house, and I wanted to be my mom's nurse. If we were in the same household, it would be easier. We're on opposite ends of the house. I knew going in that they are kind of nuts but as a hospice nurse it was out of the question that I would not take care of her and I understand their brand of crazy. First year was great, DD and I at one end, them at the other. I was working so I was not around crazy 24/7.
Then I suddenly got sick, then sicker. My father lifted me off the floor so many times I cannot count. I could never have lived in my 3 story townhouse, I couldn't do stairs at all. I added up the mileage to MD appts for tax purposes. It turns out my father drove me to 76 appts/tests in the past year! I honestly can never repay the help they gave me. I don't know how I would've managed to sell the townhouse while so sick and find something else that had no stairs and I could have 2 dogs. They saved me.
I just didn't count on the 24/7 crazy and me, God forbid, not working. I had no reason to think that would happen, I was 44 and healthy. It would be mentally better probably not to live here but I still can't drive and can't do a bunch of other things. And I made a commitment to my mother that I will keep even if I don't do all of the heavy hands on care myself (she has a Palliative Home Care team). When my mom passes, IDK what I'll do, my dad would not have the money to buy out my share and my share is not big enough for me to buy a place on disability earnings. I'm kind of stuck but I entered into that willingly, and I'd be fine if I had the break of working. I have to say, (except for the coat closet, lol) they respect my privacy at my end of the house, so it's not horrible here, I shouldn't make it sound that way. It's my own fault for not even thinking about what I would do if I got sick, that was not on my radar at all. They make me nuts, but I am forever indebted to them both. And of course, I love them dearly. Right now, this is my bed and I made it, I don't regret it. I'm too sick to really date and really don't feel like it anyways now, that's the only thing that has not come up. But we've talked about it and they were fine with it, surprisingly. So there's that when I get better. Ideal? Of course not. But then what is?
smacks head, of course I could order groceries online on my own. I'm so enmeshed in it that I don't see the easy answers anymore.
The egg and sausage sandwiches sound like the only semi-nutritious food he eats, at least voluntarily. ;).
Is the household on a tight budget food-wise? If not, I would just contribute and look the other way.
Your parents sound like fine people.
Sorry freshstart. Wish I could do the shopping for you. I'm pretty great at getting $50 to stretch for several homecooked meals. That is the amount we do if someone comes to the church asking for help with groceries. I don't get them cash, I go do the shopping.
freshstart
1-19-16, 4:36pm
they are the finest people, they do so much for others. my mom is mostly in bed now but she still supports by phone all the people who have come through her life needing a helping hand and a listening ear.
they can easily afford what he is buying, it's just me who can't but I need to re-think this a bit because it's my pride that makes me give 50/50 on everything, every bill and it's affecting my budget.
the plan was starting in Jan, at the end of the month, we sit down look at who paid for what and then figure out who owes who. So I'll see how the first month of really looking at my budget and what the outgoing costs were in 2 weeks. They would never leave me hanging over say $50 for food.
the plan was starting in Jan, at the end of the month, we sit down look at who paid for what and then figure out who owes who. So I'll see how the first month of really looking at my budget and what the outgoing costs were in 2 weeks. They would never leave me hanging over say $50 for food.
Based on what you've mentioned in this thread, it sounds like it will be hard to come up with accurate figures. "Who owes who" seems to be a particularly nebulous number, IYKWIM.
freshstart
1-19-16, 5:54pm
Based on what you've mentioned in this thread, it sounds like it will be hard to come up with accurate figures. "Who owes who" seems to be a particularly nebulous number, IYKWIM.
well, we each took certain bills for the household, those will be easy to even out. Then all grocery and home supplies were charged on credit cards so we can add up how much each spent. That part will probably get sticky, we'll just have to guesstimate as to what seems fair.
My ex is seeking child support and I am working with my lawyer on that, the least he will probably accept pushes me into negative numbers with my budget and my parents know this. I have 12k in the emergency fund to put towards that and I should get the money back in the end according to my lawyer. Because he can't have child support now and then also claim the huge SSDI settlement that will include 2 yrs of back child support. So I will have to wait 18 mos to get the child support I paid back. Never mind, I'm confusing the issue, what I meant to say is my budget is about to take a big hit and I know my father will be more than fair when we talk about bills.
However you figure out the details, your part is 1/3. Not 1/2. Don't let guilt drive you. From what I understand you bought the house together. It's not like you're freeloading off them.
1/3!
freshstart
1-19-16, 7:45pm
However you figure out the details, your part is 1/3. Not 1/2. Don't let guilt drive you. From what I understand you bought the house together. It's not like you're freeloading off them.
1/3!
you're right- 1/3! we did buy it together so my views should be as valid as theirs
I say your father has enough on his plate, figuratively speaking, to wrangle with him about the grocery budget. I would just say "this is what I can afford," and leave it at that. It's clear that with his impulse shopping, he outspends you; he probably gets that.
freshstart
1-19-16, 10:15pm
I think you are right. Neither of us are paper and pen budgeters. I use my Discover card to buy absolutely everything to get rewards but also because they put everything into categories for me. I just checkin to make sure I am not overspending in a certain area. This has worked fine for me. He doesn't budget at all, he just lives below their means. So trying to do a budget neither of us want will be a waste of time and frustrating. Offering a set amount is a good idea.
Tomorrow I am bringing up the 1/3 thing, that that is the fairest way to go. I have a feeling I am going to get pushback. But I am prepared! I will point out that I only use 1/3 of the toilet paper so why am I paying for 1/2? I think I better come up with better reasons before the conversation, lol
I wrote down everything I spent in a month, many years ago. At the end of thirty days, I considered the spending categories and shrugged. I've never maintained a budget, or wanted to. I think it takes dedication and perhaps the soul of an accountant to stick with one, though it's much easier now with the appropriate software.
Oddly, I regularly record my food intake in a nutrition program, finding satisfaction in hitting my macros and seeing how close I come to meeting micronutrient needs.
As much as I like and find my house mate to be a great guy, he is here at the house almost 24/7 and it starting to wig me out!!!!!! I thought because he was a med student he would hardly be around, but he is doing some kind of specialized 5th year program of public health classes (many of which he can see on-line anyway, so he doesn't have to go up to campus). I feel a wee bit crowded out of my own place, even though he is pretty much in his room all the time studying. But then I have to remember the positives outweigh the negatives, and for my own sanity, I have to list them out:
Pros: he is paying the majority of my rent
he is pretty quiet
he is a genuinely kind and super-intelligent person
Cons: he is kind of a slob in the kitchen, meaning he does do his dishes but when he cooks anything, he leaves all sorts of crumbs, drips and splatters that he doesn't notice
he is here ALL THE TIME!
hasn't really cleaned the bathroom or bought the TP
And did I mention that he is here ALL THE TIME....
Sigh...it is totally worth putting up with the little annoyances because the extra money allows me to go on my summer trips. On the plus side, he just informed me he will be moving out at the end of April, so I think I will be housemate free for a few months again and then get somebody in for September at the start of the new school year. It can get hard for me as an introverted private person to have someone around all the time like that, is all...
However you figure out the details, your part is 1/3. Not 1/2. Don't let guilt drive you. From what I understand you bought the house together. It's not like you're freeloading off them.
Tammy put it far better than I did.
I honestly can never repay the help they gave me. I don't know how I would've managed to sell the townhouse while so sick and find something else that had no stairs and I could have 2 dogs. They saved me.
This post (and your subsequent admission that you're not a particular fan of budgets/accounting within them) is what led me to believe it would be difficult for you and your folks to come up with an equitable division of expenses. I'm sure you can do it, but there will be many non-monetary issues ready to jump in the way of doing it equitably.
freshstart
1-20-16, 2:33pm
we're going to have a family meeting at the end of the month. IDK why I thought my dad would balk at 1/3 and not 1/2, my mother says, "of course you will pay 1/3." So that issue is settled. Even if in the beginning we only work on each paying our share of bills like the electric, the taxes, cable, etc, that will be a start. I'm not going to push on the groceries yet I don't think. Get up and running on the bills first.
I know it will never be perfect. All the driving and sitting in waiting rooms my dad has done and he won't let me pay him a penny (I take him out to lunch every few times). Down deep, we all love each other and want to help each other. We rarely ever really disagree on big stuff or have a real argument. They drive me nuts, I drive them nuts. I'm just gonna see how it all pans out.
rodeosweetheart
1-21-16, 12:26pm
My daily peeve is sock puppet posters on internet forums, and trolls who take over forums with through domination and snarkiness.
That and icicles, which I am battling on a daily basis.
I mentioned in the January Frugals thread how I was going to save a lot of money on infrastructure for my photography business this year. The reason was too long to put in that thread, but it still <PeterGriffin>really grinds my geahs (http://familyguy.wikia.com/wiki/What_Really_Grinds_My_Gears)</PeterGriffin> on how it came about, so I'm posting the reason in Rants.
I recently shot an imminent listing for a real estate agent I haven't worked with before. I sent the seller and the agent links to the image files on my cloud service. I like them. Seller loved them. Didn't hear from the agent; nothing new there.
Last week someone in the agent's office was assigned to get the images onto MLS for listing this weekend. Assistant quickly called the home seller claiming the image files were "all corrupted". >8) The seller called me; neither of us had trouble reviewing the exact same files Assistant was using. Assistant never bothered contacting me about her "problem". Instead, Assistant decided to make the seller clean her house ASAP so she could retake all of the pictures with her cell phone camera and then upload them to MLS. Apparently that's the only way she knows how to do it.
Of course, the pictures look terrible but they will have to be the way people are introduced to an almost-$300,000 house. For the seller's sake, let's hope viewers can get past the squished weird-looking panoramas with their J-shaped walls and mismatched colors. Seller can't believe these are the pictures they're using. I should invoice the agent and see if I get paid (since he didn't use my images)...
One RE agent I know (who takes her own pictures) told me once most agents wouldn't recognize a good picture if it bit them in the backside. I chuckled when she said that but, dammit, it appears she's right. It has been very tough to sell into a market that seems quite satisfied with crummy pictures for all but the multi-million-dollar properties.
Anyway, it has been costing me several hundred dollars a year in insurance, gear, software updates, and more to sell very little. In three years I have yet to see repeat business or even stated referrals from the agents for whom I've shot listings, never mind the cold calls. The sellers I've worked with all love the pictures I've taken. Agents said I did really nice work, too. At the end of the day, though, really good pictures apparently aren't very valuable.
It's time to try something different. I've thought for some time about fine-art photography; I think it's time to give that a whirl. I never figured there would be as much money in that as in real-estate photography. But I won't have to make much to net more than I've made so far in real estate. Disappointing....
iris lilies
1-26-16, 3:26pm
I look at real estate a lot on Realtor.com and it is amazing when there are bad photos, includng ones loaded upside down or sideways.
I also think "WTF" when I see an illogical sequence of photos. Like, the first photo is the basement, then the upstairs bathroom, then a closet, then the living room, dining room, and front porch. Makes no sense.
There is a weird filter or lense I am seeing around here, or maybe it is photoshop work, and Ill find some examples so that you, Steve, can tell me what I am seeing. I sort of like it, but sort of dont like it. It looks artificial.
back soon with some examples.
edited to add: I cant find exmles now,of this photo technique I need explained, but when I run across it, I will make a new post.
Or 4 bad pictures of a ratty bathroom that's clearly, well, just a bathroom, yes, we know there's a bathroom, you already said so, but no pix of the outside space or the views at all. Like, maybe I will overlook the fact that this is on a busy corner across the street from a Quicky Mart if only you show me enough pictures of your shower.
Or "photo unavailable." There's no excuse for that these days. Ditto dark, distorted, or multiples of the same shot.
Williamsmith
1-26-16, 4:14pm
Most realtors feel confident taking their own pictures even if they aren't. They are usually that narcissistic anyway. Plus hey are just like any other business person trying to cut out any costs. Why share commission money with a professional photographer when you can do it yourself. AND.......most realtors give themselves credit for the sale and don't wan to think photos had much to do with it. After all, you can't tell much by pics anyway. So they think.
Now if I am the seller, and there are details laid out in the contract that call for professional photography and I get amateur hour......Im going to start questioning my choice of realtors.
Yeah, all those fauxs pas are what get me. I've had any number of buyers tell me that if the pictures stink, they're not interested in visiting the property. Hard to make a sale when no one looks at the listing. There's actually a funny blog I link to from my Web site: Terrible real estate agent photographs (http://terriblerealestateagentphotos.com/) . Fail after fail.
The homeowner can hire the photographer (that’s happened for me a couple of times; I then sell the images to the agent). But in this case even if the seller did hire me on her own, there's still the matter of the crappy cell phone shots now representing the house. But that's hers to take up with her agent. There is a way to update MLS pictures. But if I can go by the number of listings I see in January that show the house in summer, most RE agents don't think that far and most sellers don't think they can ask for a re-shoot. And then everyone wonders why the house isn't selling... >8)
Like, maybe you can overlook the fact that this is on a busy corner across the street from a Quicky Mart if only I show you enough pictures of my shower.
When I started out in this field, that kind of thing presented an ethical dilemma. My job as photographer is to present the property as positively as possible.
Sometimes that's flat-out impossible (see Terrible blog, above). But typically I have no problem moving random stuff out of the field of view or arraging shots so that the room can be viewed without a reflection of me in the mirror or without the lights from the Quicky Mart. I take flattering shots like those and realistic shots which include the bus stop sign just past the driveway, the edge of the Quicky Mart parking lot, etc. I give the agent more than enough pictures for him/her to choose which they want (most MLS systems around here will carry 18 pictures per listing) and wash my hands of it. I have yet to be asked to "Photoshop" the sign or crop the parking lot from a picture. I'm starting to be more convinced that the agents look at the images and don't let those little details bother them.
Loved the link, Steve. :D
I do see your point about painting the house in its most flattering light, my friend had a really neat mid century house at the top of a hill, quite unique and Frank-Lloyd-Wrightly, but with a long uphill driveway that was falling apart. The house itself was lovely and the views could knock your eye out, but the agent chose to feature the picture at the bottom of the driveway looking up a rutted catastrophe with the house indistinguishable in the distance. WTF.
My example wasn't the greatest, but I am always very interested in garages, outbuildings, fences, views and other quasi permanent things, I really don't need to see pictures of other people's furniture. I'd be totally fine with shots of the exterior plus a floor plan.
The house itself was lovely and the views could knock your eye out, but the agent chose to feature the picture at the bottom of the driveway looking up a rutted catastrophe with the house indistinguishable in the distance. WTF.
Agent: "They want to pay me 4% commission? I'll give 'em a 4% sale!"
My example wasn't the greatest, but I am always very interested in garages, outbuildings, fences, views and other quasi permanent things, I really don't need to see pictures of other people's furniture. I'd be totally fine with shots of the exterior plus a floor plan.
My favorite houses to shoot were the empty ones (foreclosed, etc.) because I didn't need to be concerned with refrigerators encrusted with pictures and magnets, rooms overstuffed with furniture, etc.
My deal was to talk with the seller and the agent and find out what they thought made the property special -- and then make sure there were good pictures of that. It "grinds my geahs" to see an RE agent go on about a "gourmet kitchen" (which seems to mean it isn't completely walled off from the rest of the house) and then show just one long fuzzy shot of the kitchen from an adjoining room. Maybe people don't need copious pictures of the new boiler and water heater. But if there are four bedrooms, there probably ought to be at least one picture of each of them.
Once an agent asked me to take a picture of the hockey rink down the block from the listing because that school district's hockey team was a state powerhouse and he figured buyers might be attracted by a quality rink so close to home (don't know if he was right but the [upper-bracket] house sold in a month back in 2010, so not bad). At least the rink was mentioned in the description of the property.
Thanks for the link Steve...it got me to laugh out loud on one of the worst days I've had in awhile.
The curb side recycling program here. I had two bags of trash all week, 6 bags of recycling as I got rid of a lot of paperwork and such. I don't get the Everything in same can theory . I feel there is no way someone picks through everything and I spent so much time organizing.
freshstart
1-28-16, 8:53am
The curb side recycling program here. I had two bags of trash all week, 6 bags of recycling as I got rid of a lot of paperwork and such. I don't get the Everything in same can theory . I feel there is no way someone picks through everything and I spent so much time organizing.
we don't even separate anything, just dump it all in the can. I cannot fathom that there are people on the other end sorting my recycling
There aren't, at least not many. This article from Popular Science about single stream recycling explains how it works:
http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2013-07/how-it-works-recycling-machines-separate-junk-type
Bad experience with Clark shoes: bought a lightly used pair of clogs at a nice consignment shop. Looked in great shape. Wore them today and in the space of 300 yards they literally fell apart - the heel came off one, the soles separated on the sides, then the heel came off of the other one. I shuffled back to my car and came home and threw them in the trash.
Googled "Clark shoes falling apart" and there were hundreds of complaints going back at least 7 years.
What the heck? Clarks used to be very good shoes but I'm posting here so others may take heed.
rodeosweetheart
2-3-16, 1:17pm
Trolls who bait, driving in the snow.
I understand Windows 10 is going to be foisted on us whether we want it or not, unless we check our settings and change them, if necessary.
This may be the straw that broke the camel's back for me.
I am so ready to give up on having house mates lately. Not that he has done ANYTHING wrong. It's just that he hasn't left the house in two days and it's beginning to wig me out having a human presence here 24/7. So in addition to the chaos of my work schedule and the crap it is causing in my life outside of work, I have to deal with someone elses random (and do I really mean random - I have NO idea when he is going out or coming in or taking a shower in the one bathroom I have, or cooking). It's not helping that this is the hardest winter ever that I am going through mentally and physically; I just want to be alone in my own house so bad...
April cannot come soon enough! Okay, rant over, I must remember that the rent money I get from this funds a lot of fun things in my life (however, having the extra income tax-wise it is not as good as I had originally thought). So going forward, I will either take a nice long break from renting my extra room or just deciding that I don't feel like doing it anymore. Some days it feel like the lack of privacy just isn't worth it...
SQ, when one is used to living alone, having someone there living independently is a big shift. Hang in there; only a few more weeks and you're free, free, free at last. :) At least you are being somewhat compensated for his presence.
Thanks Steve! And it WAS and IS my choice to do this in the first place, but it just goes to show ultimately how much I really crave my own space. However, he is a really nice and very interesting guy, and totally opposite from the last guy who paid me rent for four months and was hardly ever here! At least "J" will be going out of town for mid-winter break for over a week so I can get some respite :)
rodeosweetheart
2-16-16, 5:37pm
I am attending the worst Go to Meeting ever on a new software monitoring system we have to employ in the classroom and I am ready to quit even part-time--God, this place is SO DUMB and teaching has become a torturous Orwellian exercise in futility--Never, ever, did I want to be Big Brother, much less suffer under Big Brother.
God I hate this job, even on a part-time basis.
freshstart
2-16-16, 6:40pm
any prospects of changing jobs?
rodeosweetheart
2-16-16, 7:06pm
any prospects of changing jobs?
Working on it, but need the part time income!
Arrived at my tax preparers office at 2:50 pm for a 3:00 appt. Proceeded to wait til 3:20 pm because the client already there decided to chit-chat during her time (I could overhear the conversation) while the accountant was trying to do her taxes. Tax preparer kept deflecting and trying to keep on point, but Chatty Kathy continued to update her on her entire life happenings in 2015.
Please socialize with your tax preparer on your own time so all of the clients scheduled after you get our full appointment too. (I'd even seen a letter in the newspaper from a tax accountant asking the same thing: it's his busiest time of the year and his clients are booked for an hour. He doesn't have time to spend 15 minutes just catching up on the miscellany of your life, and do your taxes at the same time.)
iris lilies
3-20-16, 6:07pm
Eyerolls. Here we are in gardening season and a new gardener at our Community Garden spoke up at a recent meeting because she had "learned that harsh chemicals were used last year on the patio area!" and she is upset and stressed about that.
Yes, Roundup is my friend. And while I am not the culprit who used Roundup on the patio area, I do sometimes use Roundup on my bed on the backside of the community garden, away from their precious vegetables. So I stood up in the meeting and said that a well aimed systemic treatment saves lots of manhours and I don't think, given the lack of proximity to the vegetables, its a big deal for me to use. However, I will try to curb that use.
So, at the garden work day I showed her the brick patio area and congratulated her on taking over that weeding job. Since Roundup (a five minute job) is out, she will be the one who can apply "alternative" methods. Hope she is ready for those hours of work.
A few minutes later she talked about her hatred of ants and how she had exterminators make the maximum number of treatments allowed in her old digs.
O-------kay. I guess those insecticides must not be "harsh chemicals."
Me, IVe got a pet Daddy Longlegs spider living under my microwave oven and he runs out to snatch little unsuspecting ants when they crawl across the counter. While I really do not mind ants if they arent the biting kind, I dont like legions of them, and I think word of his presence gets around the ant colony.
freshstart
3-20-16, 8:50pm
lol at letting her take over the patio area, bet it won't look as good as last year!
Making plans with a friend:
Me: Looks like the long weekend is open, let's meet up on Friday.
Friend: okay, sounds good, what do you suggest?
Me: Lunch Friday?
Friend: no, I'm going out of town and I don't know when I'll be back Friday. Might be able to be back in time for dinner.
? didn't think this piece of info might be relevant? oy vey, trying to plan a simple get-together with people!
rodeosweetheart
3-22-16, 4:26am
Winter coming back after a really nice last week! On the other hand, it was still light out at 7:30 driving home, and we have robins in the yard.
Saturday it actually got up to 70 degrees in my area! So...such a lovely day--I spent most of it preparing beds and weeding, cleaning up winter debris. Got some carrot and parsnip seeds out and put in a few small beds.
Next morning: I take my cup of coffee out for a stroll and curses!!!! Squirrels had demolished my veggie beds, frolicking around and planting peanuts that ^&%@#$ neighbors feed them.
I had a fleeting thought of covering them with chicken wire while I was planting, but hadn't done it. Lesson learned.
iris lilies
3-22-16, 3:25pm
Saturday it actually got up to 70 degrees in my area! So...such a lovely day--I spent most of it preparing beds and weeding, cleaning up winter debris. Got some carrot and parsnip seeds out and put in a few small beds.
Next morning: I take my cup of coffee out for a stroll and curses!!!! Squirrels had demolished my veggie beds, frolicking around and planting peanuts that ^&%@#$ neighbors feed them.
I had a fleeting thought of covering them with chicken wire while I was planting, but hadn't done it. Lesson learned.
The tree rats need to die. Nasty, destructive creatures.
Gardenarian
3-24-16, 2:24am
I apparently have as labral tear in my hip. Took about 8 doctors and tests to figure it out.
Just when I'm wanting to get out and climb mountains and tear up my yard, too
Grr.
freshstart
3-25-16, 4:22pm
my mother is driving me batty, I have become her "bitch about everything" person. Trying to get her ready for my brother's wedding has taken days worth of time, she is 4'11" and wears a 3 x with ginormous boobs. Took her out once shopping to see a personal shopper. She can try on two dresses and then she is done, I get that, she is sick. So I ordered an onslaught of dresses, she can try on one a day if she wants. Her feet are so full of fluid, Zappos has not one pair in her size. The dresses for the most part look bad. All of this makes her rant and rave and then cry. I pick up the pieces and keep ordering. Never a thank you, more of an I have to push her because the wedding is coming up and she has to find something and get it tailored. So she's mad that she is pushed.
I am her tech support like I know what the hell I am doing. Spent 3 hours on the phone with Apple after an 1 hour hold time. My day was shot yesterday. No thank you just "you didn't get all my apps back"
I try to stick my head in her room when she is not asleep to visit because her world is basically her bedroom and I figure she is lonely. It inevitably devolves into a convo of all the ways I could be a better person, parent, adult child, etc. If she asks how I am and I am honest, she doesn't want to hear it. So I am always "great".
I love her, she is the person I am closest to in life, I get she is dying and feels like shit, I get she needs a person to vent to but she never even acknowledges that I have become that person and she is sorry. I feel guilty even complaining about her here. The worst is watching her treat the other people in her life totally kind and as if they were human with feelings.
Oh Freshstart, You have my sympathy. I have not a single bit of advice except to remember all you are saying...she's dying, angry and you are there....Any possibility of pretending she says thank you and I love you at least once a day...say it to yourself? Do not feel guilty for expressing your feeling here.
freshstart
3-25-16, 4:41pm
thank you. No matter how bad it is, we always say "I love you" at night. I know she loves and appreciates me, I also know she is frustrated that I got sick and never remember conversations and she has to repeat them. I know I am her PITA, too. It just gets really old sometimes.
Not that this in any way compares to Freshstart's situation described above (I am so sorry you are having a hard time of it, but bless you for being there for her in her final days)...
I just looked at my back calendar pages and realized I haven't had two days off in a row since mid-February. I am in the I have to last "one more day at a time" phase this morning. The week started out okay work-wise, I even had two decent night's sleep in a row. Then I had a mid-shift yesterday at noon, but woke up at 5am on the dot as if I was going to the opening shift. Well, I couldn't get myself back to sleep so I got up and got quite a bit done before work. Did the shift, got off at 7pm, but didn't allow myself to go home because I made a commitment to myself to try and go out and be social for once. Well, in the time it took to get my drink order in at what used to be my favorite local bar, and by the time I got said drink, I had already devolved into a bad mood. I didn't know anyone there, the music hadn't started yet and I just feel so left out of the daily life that goes on with out me. It reinforced the fact of how much I have lost since I've been working at this job, the crushing social isolation that I am feeling (yes, even hermits and introverts can feel completely isolated).
I got home at 9:30pm, grumpy as hell and tired, and was asleep probably by 11pm. Then I woke up at 3am for a few hours, tossing and turning and ruminating; at some point I fell asleep again, maybe around 6:00am and slept until 8:30, when my housemate woke me up by singing at the top of his voice "Oh, Joyous Morning"... NOT. I am grumpy, confuzzled, achey, and discombobulated from the chaos of my life. And I have to go to work at 12:00. Then tomorrow I am back at 6am, then the next day back at 12:00.
I talked to the guy who does scheduling (again)the other day but I just don't think there is too much I can hope for there at this point. It is what it is, and if I can't handle it, I am free to leave the job. Right now all I want to do is to somehow hang on until I get to my vacation in June, one day at a time.
freshstart
4-2-16, 11:13am
staying til June to get a paid vacation makes sense but maybe they would give it to you in a check if you quit sooner? Or maybe use the next two months to update your resume and start looking at possible other jobs that are available so you kind of know what might be out there when/if you quit after your vacation
I get a big bank of paid time off in mid-May, which will allow me to take this three-week vacation fully paid. I am SO NOT going to forfeit that when I am this close!
Okay, trying to pump myself up to do excellent customer service today. One good thing is that I am usually okay mentally by the time I have punched in and gotten started; it's the hours of dread leading up to having to actually get myself there. I though about calling off earlier today, but it is too late now. I have to remember that I MUST get in a certain number of service hours to get that PTO windfall in May before my vacation. I am NOT going to tempt myself just because I am grumpy today...
freshstart
4-2-16, 12:48pm
3 weeks is great, I'd stay, too!
iris lilies
4-3-16, 12:47pm
I'm going to write a peeve from the POV of DH:
I am annoyed with DW, Iris Lilies. Yesterday the winds were at 45 miles per hour here in the city, nearly a record for winds with no associated storms. When she was working in one of our gardens she let the gate blow open and closed and open etc. That tore up the hardware. Now I have to fix it.
And then yesterday she parked the car under two trees that are full of dead limbs. The city hasn't removed these trees even though we have made multiple requests.
She has no common sense!!!
I am annoyed with recycling. It is just hard. I have been recycling since before everyone cared, even had a compost bin at a couple places. But the recycling dumpster is in another parking lot and I carry down purse, laptop bag and lunch everyday. I don't have another hand to work with. So I express this to 2 people and they both respond basically that it doesn't matter, the stuff doesn't really get recycled or it has a low impact. I know they are trying to be supportive however it felt more de-valuing after years of my environmental focus. Cloth grocery bags, bring lunch in re-usable containers with a cloth napkin and my own utensils, running camp with a 'low landfill' plan, etc. I just hate throwing this stuff in the trash,
iris lilies
4-3-16, 2:11pm
I am annoyed with recycling. It is just hard. I have been recycling since before everyone cared, even had a compost bin at a couple places. But the recycling dumpster is in another parking lot and I carry down purse, laptop bag and lunch everyday. I don't have another hand to work with. So I express this to 2 people and they both respond basically that it doesn't matter, the stuff doesn't really get recycled or it has a low impact. I know they are trying to be supportive however it felt more de-valuing after years of my environmental focus. Cloth grocery bags, bring lunch in re-usable containers with a cloth napkin and my own utensils, running camp with a 'low landfill' plan, etc. I just hate throwing this stuff in the trash,
Recently when I was going through dumpsters looking for a package that was stolen from my front porch, I found a cardboard box with my neighbor's name on it in the trash dumpster, not the recycling dumpster. She is young. I suppose I would be Gladys Kravitz to complain and "educate" her on dumpster etiquette, so I won't. But what the hell, I;m not convinced that young people are any more careful about recycling than old people.
Yeah IL, one person was older (my mom) and one was younger. For my mom there is that little rub of irritation from years of hearing that pretty much everything I did was wrong. It really only comes up when she visits, we use lots of paper towels, disposable napkins, I finally got her to stop bringing plastic table ware and disposable table cloths when I have several fabric ones and table settings for 10. Then there is the soap pumps in 'disposable' plastic pumps when I have perfectly fine bar soap for the bathroom, and it only takes a paper wrapper in the trash. I don't bug her about wasteful ways at her house, but when she visits I don't want stuff that is going to take a year to use up and to not be in my environmental focus because somehow she thinks I am poor or deprived,
Argh more of a rant than I thought.
My rant/peeve is that PBS no longer shows programs as long as it used to. It used to hold on to shows a bit longer and I could catch up. Now they seem to cycle them very quickly. I missed last weeks Granchester episode....now I have to watch episode 2 without seeing episode 1. Quick! Too quick!
Williamsmith
4-5-16, 3:39am
I am annoyed with recycling. It is just hard. I have been recycling since before everyone cared, even had a compost bin at a couple places. But the recycling dumpster is in another parking lot and I carry down purse, laptop bag and lunch everyday. I don't have another hand to work with. So I express this to 2 people and they both respond basically that it doesn't matter, the stuff doesn't really get recycled or it has a low impact. I know they are trying to be supportive however it felt more de-valuing after years of my environmental focus. Cloth grocery bags, bring lunch in re-usable containers with a cloth napkin and my own utensils, running camp with a 'low landfill' plan, etc. I just hate throwing this stuff in the trash,
If I said to you, "Recycling is a waste of time and money." You might be angry with me. But you of course know there are different types and processes of recycling. And you should also know that not all people can be trusted to do what they say they are doing with recycled materials especially if there is a public tax or subsidy involved. So naming something has nothing to do with knowing anything about it.
There are differences in efficiencies between materials. Aluminum is perhaps the best material to recycle because it has a relatively high value. The rest of the stuff is worthless and costs energy to handle. Then you have different methods....voluntary delivery, buy back and curbside as well as dumping in landfills and all have different degrees of value and some of no value and even more costing more energy and creating more environmental damage than just burying it in a landfill.
In fact, the best methods of recycling that addresses inorganic and organic differences hardly exist because no one is making money on them.
And so, you could say that very likely becoming dissappointed with another persons lack of care in discarding recyclables is merely an exercise is mental snobbery and that likely your well intentioned recycling is of no greater benefit to the environment than your neighbors dumping everything in the trash. That is unless you have personally traced the downstream path of your discarded recyclables and verified its return to usefulness, you make many assumptions that have no basis in knowledge or science.
As in everything there is a great difference between having an understanding and knowing. Now you can throw almost everything in the trash and sleep with a clear conscience.
I am angry because the car I bought new and now has 73,000 is burning oil. GM 4 cylinders have a known problem of the rings going bad and letting oil bypass.
We can't find any leaks, nor can the dealership. They are trying to tell me that adding 3 quarts of oil between changes is not excessive and will only result in fouled spark plugs. I will have to say I've lost all respect for the brand and the dealership.
Williamsmith
4-22-16, 11:29am
I am angry because the car I bought new and now has 73,000 is burning oil. GM 4 cylinders have a known problem of the rings going bad and letting oil bypass.
We can't find any leaks, nor can the dealership. They are trying to tell me that adding 3 quarts of oil between changes is not excessive and will only result in fouled spark plugs. I will have to say I've lost all respect for the brand and the dealership.
Toyota
Gardenarian
4-22-16, 12:56pm
Toyota
+1
Toyota
Toyota of the "sludge-o-matic" transmission (https://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2007/01/toyota_sludge_settlement.html)? Toyota of the exploding air bags (http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/cars/2014/06/11/toyota-airbags-shrapnel-recall-corolla/10323777/)? Toyota of the sticky power-window switches (http://money.cnn.com/2012/10/10/investing/toyota-recall/)? Toyota of the faulty airbag cable, seat rails, and starter (http://money.cnn.com/2014/04/10/pf/autos/toyota-recalls/index.html)?
Umm-kay.
There was a point, maybe 20 years ago, when one paid the price for a Toyota and got an unexciting boringly dependable car which sold at a higher price than the competition -- but at least was pretty near bulletproof and you could get some of the price premium back at trade-in/sale time. That Toyota no longer exists. They still may be above average in reliability (well, Scion doesn't seem to do all that well, but they're dead now), but Toyota is far from bulletproof now and they recall cars by the millions just like so many other manufacturers.
Maybe the only brand I could recommend as trouble-free is Rolls-Royce. But most of us can't afford those. :~)
Williamsmith
4-22-16, 9:17pm
If you consider Consumer Reports a reliable source , Toyota receives top billing in almost every category across the board. I have owned the following makes.....Datsun, Nissan, Toyota, Chrysler, Dodge, Chevrolet, Pontiac, many Fords, a few Hyundais, and a Subaru. My Toyota Tacoma is quite bulletproof and the best of them all.
+1 on Toyota.
I had Hondas or Toyotas for many years, and then dipped my toe back in to the U.S. auto market by buying a 5 year old used Ford station wagon. A few months later I had to replace the gas tank which had started leaking. The gas tank. On a 5 year old car.
Couldn't return fast enough to Toyota.
Had all my Hondas to well over 100,000 trouble free miles. Last one was just to 200,000 when it was totaled in an accident involving a semi. One before that was totaled in an accident hubby walked away from with only a bruise. They are reliable, long lasting, and safe little cars. One of them, four or five cars ago, is still on the road and was passed down in a family of 5 kids as the kid car.
Two Hondas in the garage and plan on keeping them forever or until a really special safety device comes out as hubby loves his right side camera right now.
frugal-one
4-23-16, 2:36pm
Went to a garage sale yesterday where everything was donation only. Nothing was marked. I HATE THAT!!! Tell me what you want. I was looking for cookie scoops and the woman said she had some of her mothers that she would part with. She came out with two...1 and 1 1/2 inch scoops made by Pampered Chef.... exactly what I wanted. I asked her how much and she said just put what you feel in the donation box for her mother who is in assisted living. I put in what I thought I would pay at a garage sale and came back later with a dozen chocolate chip cookies I had baked using the scoops for her mother. I'm thrilled with the cookie scoops but not sure if I gave enough. Rant and peeve in one!
ToomuchStuff
4-23-16, 3:38pm
Frugal, you just said you gave what you would give at a garage sale, then that is enough. Guilt should not be a factor, just consider this similar to an auction where you gave your high bid and time ran out for everyone else to bid.
My peeve of the week has been a kid that is such a horrible speller. How am I to know that Mikla is supposed to be Michael, or Jacob for Justine, etc. As bad as that gal that was upset that people didn't know her name L-A (that is is L-A) is supposed to be LaDasha.
Second peeve, is the hurry up and wait phenominon. Work wants some samples quickly, so I get them and they are hemming and hawing on a decision.>8)
If you consider Consumer Reports a reliable source
I don't. No one else should, either.
There are some huge statistical issues with CR's reliability ratings: self-selection, poor definitions of terms (what constitutes a "problem?), poor granularity, little consideration of sample sizes, and the lag between data collection and publishing. I'm happy to go into those issues, but I think most people here don't give a rip so I will do so only on request. Then there's the disconnect between the products they recommend versus the ones they declare are poorly-built based on their collected data; I'm not sure how you recommend to such a readership products that you know has reliability issues.
Williamsmith
4-23-16, 6:36pm
I don't. No one else should, either.
There are some huge statistical issues with CR's reliability ratings: self-selection, poor definitions of terms (what constitutes a "problem?), poor granularity, little consideration of sample sizes, and the lag between data collection and publishing. I'm happy to go into those issues, but I think most people here don't give a rip so I will do so only on request. Then there's the disconnect between the products they recommend versus the ones they declare are poorly-built based on their collected data; I'm not sure how you recommend to such a readership products that you know has reliability issues.
Fair enough. How about JD Power. Lexus which is the luxury Toyota ranks highest in vehicle dependability for the fifth straight year. Toyota ranked 4th out of 34 makes behind Porshe and Buick.
How about JD Power.
J.D. Power often has the perception that its ratings are "bought". I haven't done enough research on them to say one way or another.
Besides, my point is not that Toyota is unreliable. It's just that they've had their share of quality-control issues in recent years. They are no longer a just-get-the-right-liquids-in-the-right-holes-and-it-will-last-forever choice, which allowed Toyota -- in past years -- to ignore styling, feature levels, or price pressure from other manufacturers.
Blindly recommending Toyota as the vehicle of choice, absent context or other considerations, makes as much sense as urging everyone to buy Coke because It Really Is Better.
As for J.D. Power, here's something to ponder: Lexus and Toyota place in the top 5, but Scion is well behind. Considering they use largely the same parts and assembly techniques (it's all Toyota and products badged Lexus and Scion in the U.S. are badged Toyotas elsewhere in the world), how does that happen? The same question applies to Buick, with some models no more than rebadged Chevrolets. Major bits all come from the North American GM parts pool; sometimes the different brands are built on the very same assembly line. So how does the difference come in?
That I can't seem to change the personality traits within myself that I would like to:(
That I can't seem to change the personality traits within myself that I would like to:(
I agree with that, the depression thing is pretty draining. I let my son take the car a lot this weekend and I am really happy he got out and was hiking! I also realize I spent the entire weekend pretty much home and that is not good for me.
I hear you ctg492, I have been unsuccessful in some areas after a lifetime of trying.
To my SIL DO Not MAKE ME THE BAD GUY to your kid. It is NOT my job to discipline your child. That's what parents do-I am not her parent and am not anyones parent, as I don't want that job. Don't make it like I am the reason she can't do something, when you don't want to look like the bad person. I find it sooooo annoying.
iris lilies
5-25-16, 11:25am
Trees are the enemy! Ugh.
I am tired of hearing people say " I would love to have an iris garden but we have too much shade."
People! Where are your priorities!!!???
Haha kidding, sort of. It's been a while since I ranted about trees and their negative impact on my life.
Iris, I was thinking of your theme Trees are the enemy recently. I'm thinking of getting rid of some trees and knew you would cheer! It made me smile.
iris lilies
5-25-16, 5:12pm
Iris, I was thinking of your theme Trees are the enemy recently. I'm thinking of getting rid of some trees and knew you would cheer! It made me smile.
And the world will be a better place for your fewer trees. Plant some iris!:~)
I do have iris and lilies....not nearly as many as you!!!
iris lilies
5-25-16, 9:18pm
I do have iris and lilies....not nearly as many as you!!!hahaha good for you!
Trees are the enemy! Ugh.
I am tired of hearing people say " I would love to have an iris garden but we have too much shade."
People! Where are your priorities!!!???
Haha kidding, sort of. It's been a while since I ranted about trees and their negative impact on my life.
I remember a day when I was a small child (not yet school age. Young enough to have to take a mother-mandated nap every afternoon.) That afternoon trees were in fact the enemy. Of my nap at least. In the early 70's denver had a plague of dutch elm disease. The two trees in front of our house had succumbed and were being cut down. During my nap time. The noise was simply too much for me to be able to sleep through so I complained to mom. But got no sympathy. She basically said "go back to your room and try harder to sleep." I'm glad i'm an adult now and have the autonomy to handle situations like this more effectively.
I will not, however, complain about trees making too much shade. Trees are freakin' awesome! Our dream that we're working towards is to buy/build a tiny/small house in the Russian River Valley in Sonoma County California with giant redwood trees all around.
jp1, I grew up in eastern South Dakota and I never complain about trees making too much shade either. I love trees!!! My sister and I were recently talking about how people from that area love their trees.
Cute story about your Mom.
RoseQuartz
5-26-16, 10:31am
.
frugal-one
5-26-16, 1:52pm
Miss the trees in my front yard. The city here KILLED them. Had to put shades on the windows and get an awning to cool off the house. The trees did a much better job. sigh
This is my challenge today: I have been up since 1:30am. It is now 8:30pm, so I'm going on 19 hours of awake so far, that had an 8 hour shift at work, plus running a bunch of errands after. It's my own damn fault for getting hooked back onto caffeine when they started screwing around with my schedule at work again. Plus I am excited and revved up about my trip. I am trying to wind things down here. I NEED TO SLEEP, as this is about the third week since I have barely gotten four hours of sleep per night :(
BOuntiful Baskets is no more!!!!!������ I am sad
Bicyclists that do not use Lights and Helmets.
Gardenarian
8-19-16, 5:24pm
I have the A/C on 78*, which seems pretty green...until I realized that is still 30* cooler than it is outside. Yikes!
Another rant about the downhill slide of the English language: was in a telecom today at work discussing an issue. In trying to form a solution there was a debate about how much software would help fix this vs. hiring and training some staff. I was on the side of hiring, so one of my colleagues summarized it as, "Lainey wants more bellybuttons." I had to stop and think WTH? oy vey.
I am getting super-frustrated with some things regarding the Land of Manana, namely getting this g-dd-mned hot water tank up and running again. I haven't had hot water for one week now. The guys finally came to get everything fixed and up to code and I was all excited to be able to FINALLY take a shower tonight (mind you, my last shower was last Friday night - I've been spot bathing since). After confirming with the plumber that everything was A-okay, I just got home from some errands in Santa Fe to discover I have no water going to my one and only sink...the shower seems to be running but at a much lower pressure (though it seems like there is some hot water finally). I am afraid to use the toilet lest THAT runs out of water. Gaahhhhhhhhhhhh!
SiouzQ, I feel you. Our hot water at my large apartment complex is pretty iffy. There was one day it was so cold I got numb fingers. If I let the water run a long time sometimes that helps, but then the water runs longer than the shower I take.
My pet peeve is traffic grid lock! If you live or drive in the city then learn how to drive here! When the light is green you still need to have enough room to get through the intersection, And don't you dare honk at me for not causing more gridlock!
What a horrible day! Finally figured out the insects in my apartment are because of the hailstone damage to window screens. It is a mess of tree trimming and chopping all day into the evening. My plumbing is also acting up in my apartment! And, my carbon monoxide detectors kept going off because a neighbors vehicle and the tree chopping equipment filled my apartment with the gas. This led to feeling like poo of course!
Then, I found out I have to start job hunting again in nowheresville. And, No I am not eligilble for the military, I am too old.
So I have to sign up for a job that I loathe tomorrow to pay the bills. I don't know if I can stand the stress from it!
I am dealing with yet another medical problem that has cropped up, I feel like a professional patient. I have to wrap this one up as quickly as possible because my Cobra end Jan 1 and the deductibles to stay in a similar plan with all my doctors has a ridiculously high deductible. I want to live a simple life but I feel like my health is getting in the way of that. Grrrrr.....
Noise pollution - round the clock and all of the time - I am so tired of the constant noise where I live. It is absurd! Vehicles without mufflers, kids and adults screaming, adults yelling into their cellphones, music blasting from vehicles, motorcycles driving through a 20 mile zone at 50 miles an hour.
I hate noise, and I get everything (mechanical) from float planes and personal watercraft to mowers, blowers, chainsaws, generators, and on and on. I've lived on thoroughfares that weren't as noisy as this picturesque suburb. I swear my next place is going to be a soundproof high rise. :D I can't complain about people or dog noises, so I guess that's good news.
I am also dealing with carbon monoxide from all of this equipment outside, it is making me sick and woozy.
Heck, even going to the park is a noise fest because people have to blast the music in their vehicles. The one place you think that you will only hear nature.
Funny story, so someone is outside for an hour or more talking about personal stuff on their cell phone. Talking so loud everyone could hear. So finally I stick my head to the window screen and tell her how she should deal with the situation she was talking about on the phone. She has a hissy of course. And I said, well if you don't want people to know your personal business then don't stand underneath my window yelling about it for an hour. Honestly, she was so dumb and unmannered that she didn't think anything about her behavior. There is NO Way! I would be yelling my personal business into a cell phone where someone could hear about it. Strangely, people do this in public places like Post Offices, libraries and stores too. I don't get it!
iris lilies
9-5-16, 6:46pm
Today our foster dog, a refugee from a puppy mill, chewed off a piece of our 1860's dining table leg. People! I cannot move large pieces of furniture up and out of her way.
last week she destroyed a vintage sari by pulling it off the curtain rod. But that is easily replaced, vintage saris are inexpensive, believe it or not.
But my dining table, the one single piece of furniture DH and I together like?
Arrrrgh!!!
you have me re-thinking about being a foster dog person, sorry about your table
iris lilies
9-5-16, 8:51pm
you have me re-thinking about being a foster dog person, sorry about your table
It is unusual for us to get to one in with the habits of a puppy.
That said, I have had two adult bulldog wood chewers in the dozens of foster dogs we have had, s there atent many. One of them hit a nerve: after 20 years of living in an construction project with a rough wood staircase, DH finally completed a "finished" staircase and used the oak treads we had beem storing for more than a decade.
WIthin a few weeks of the staircase's finish, one of our foster dogs gnawed on the corner of a completed step. ARgggh. DH filled it in with wood putty, but its not the same as new.
ToomuchStuff
9-6-16, 1:33am
Alcohol and alcoholics.
Friday, dealt with two verbal assaults from those whose brain have been altered. One was like a switch flipped.
I half expected this to be like a work friend of mine, whose father tried to kill him, after the alcohol permanently flipped a switch in him.
iris lilies
9-6-16, 7:51am
Alcohol and alcoholics.
Friday, dealt with two verbal assaults from those whose brain have been altered. One was like a switch flipped.
I half expected this to be like a work friend of mine, whose father tried to kill him, after the alcohol permanently flipped a switch in him.
I am sorry to hear this, it is very difficult to deal with.
It is broiling hot again with a high humidity level. :(
Job applications that ask too many questions! Egads!
And, everything is online and takes forever to fill out with go from page to page to page.
Lots of fees to pay too for background checks and such.
Unfortunately, the places I have worked have gone out of business and most supervisors and coworkers have died or left the area.
Sigh!
I had to think twice about buying a Superman costume for the dog. I actually stood there thinking about it. I don't have little kids, he can't see trick or treaters because he runs when you open the door, there are zero reasons for me to ever buy my dog a costume. Clearly, I have not totally adjusted to my new income level that I would even think about something so stupid. I better wrap my head around it real quick.
ApatheticNoMore
9-6-16, 8:43pm
Job applications that ask too many questions! Egads!
And, everything is online and takes forever to fill out with go from page to page to page.
Lots of fees to pay too for background checks and such.
this sounds like a scam. Not the long online forms, that's just how it's sometimes done, but the fees.
(I have paid fees for apartment rental background checks -those are mostly just credit checks I think - but that's different - it's usually only done when you are going to get the apartment with near certainty for one thing)
this sounds like a scam. Not the long online forms, that's just how it's sometimes done, but the fees.
(I have paid fees for apartment rental background checks -those are mostly just credit checks I think - but that's different - it's usually only done when you are going to get the apartment with near certainty for one thing)
Jobs working with children, elderly, money and others are now requiring fees for background checks. Each one wants their own. I am sure it is making the background check companies a lot of money. But it gets expensive for applicants. If you don't pay for the background check, then your application isn't valid. I am sure the background check companies have pressured employees to pass the fees along to applicants. Some employers require state or federal fingerprinting - that can cost hundreds of dollars!
Many of these jobs are low-paying ones too.
I will tell you what is a scam though and that is babysitter.com, care.com and the others on that site. I have no idea why the govt., doesn't shut them down! You can put in a fake city and it will say there are high-paying jobs. Stay away from that site. They have commercials about it being free but it isn't!
ApatheticNoMore
9-6-16, 11:44pm
I've had background checks done but the employer always paid and it was after they made a hiring decision (so they aren't paying it on everyone just those they hire). Sure if it was bad they might not hire but it was late into the process. Fees for a job application is like paying a fee for a job I have maybe a 1 in 20 chance of EVER hearing back from, and a much lower chance than that of getting.
I've had background checks done but the employer always paid and it was after they made a hiring decision (so they aren't paying it on everyone just those they hire). Sure if it was bad they might not hire but it was late into the process. Fees for a job application is like paying a fee for a job I have maybe a 1 in 20 chance of EVER hearing back from, and a much lower chance than that of getting.
It doesn't work that way with jobs in educational, medical or some other jobs in my state. You have to fill out an online job application, and it is not considered for acceptable until the background check is completed (and yes the applicants pay for it). Anyone applying to work in any type of school or medical facility (daycare, public, assisted living facility and so on is verified by the state agencies first). That is the law in my state. I don't agree with it because I think the background check people just want to make money from job applicants. Some banks and retailers are also requiring applicants to pay for the background check. It is because it is expensive and the companies want to make money.
Caregivers
Tutors
Daycare workers
Bus drivers
Kitchen staff
Custodians
Substitute teachers
Educational assistants
Nurses
Lawn care staff
Bus aids
Janitorial staff
Office staff
Volunteers
I was a nurse, we made the hiring decision as a team and then HR would run the background check. The applicant did not have to pay any fees. We also had 150 volunteers, on them the background check is run first because the two week training is intense and expensive and they didn't want to waste it on people who would not be allowed to be a volunteer. But again, they paid no fees for it. My hospital network now belongs to a huge corporation of 89,000 employees, that's a lot of background checks!
The heat index was almost 100 degrees at 1:a.m. and now at 2:p.m., it is 103 degrees heat index.
I feel like I am melting.
Yikes!, it is getting hotter! I am rethinking going back out there away from the fans.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
I want some autumn!
I was a nurse, we made the hiring decision as a team and then HR would run the background check. The applicant did not have to pay any fees. We also had 150 volunteers, on them the background check is run first because the two week training is intense and expensive and they didn't want to waste it on people who would not be allowed to be a volunteer. But again, they paid no fees for it. My hospital network now belongs to a huge corporation of 89,000 employees, that's a lot of background checks!
Can you imagine how much money the background check companies are making? Average cost is $50.00 and some are more.
Had an afternoon group interview but the office's computer system wouldn't access the CBC company, so then I tried at our library, didn't work there either. Don't think they can hire anyone until they resolve that issue.
Afterward, I went to some retail places to see what was going on job wise.
Wal-Mart and some other places are starting people out at $10 an hour now rather than $7.25. I was there in the evening and the managers must have had the night off because there was a lot of employee chatting going on. The store had some really messy areas too. At least there, you don't have to dress fancy like some retailers require. I also checked a Kohls, and the clerks were dressed in T-shirts and slacks (that surprised me). I don't know what they pay though.
I know Wal-Mart pays more than the school system does (that is pitiful isn't it? ) And yes there are college educated people working there too!
ToomuchStuff
9-10-16, 12:23pm
I know Wal-Mart pays more than the school system does (that is pitiful isn't it? ) And yes there are college educated people working there too!
Certainly college educated people work for Walmart. Lawyers are required to have a degree and pass the bar, accountants need the education to be certified, etc. Some have legal requirements (pharmacists, etc).
Why would that be shocking? Some have general studies degree's and are working their way through paying off the degree's and find what jobs they can.
The only job I ever had that required a degree was my editing internship, oddly enough.
For years, I told everyone I had a General Studies degree...Imagine my surprise when I found my diploma and discovered it's is in Arts and Letters. So glad to have nothing in common with Sarah Palin!
freshstart
9-10-16, 12:34pm
My credit card had fraud again and I had to change acct numbers so that meant re-setting up all my auto-pays. Some major retailer had a fraud incident so everyone who had shopped there was getting a new card, I was told. But this has to be at least the 4th or 5th time, annoying
ToomuchStuff
9-10-16, 12:41pm
My credit card had fraud again and I had to change acct numbers so that meant re-setting up all my auto-pays. Some major retailer had a fraud incident so everyone who had shopped there was getting a new card, I was told. But this has to be at least the 4th or 5th time, annoying
This week, I had that with my CC that I received in May, had activated, BUT NOT USED. Leaves me wondering if they are actually in the CC companies system, since they were able to use the front number and had the back three check digits.
Makes me think about going to all cash even more.
Freshstart, we set up one account that is never ever used for anything but automatic payments. It never leaves the house and is reconciled often thruout the months and we have not had to reset up our payment accounts.
We also use one time numbers on our online purchases.
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