If you could turn one person on to simple living and/or minimalism, would would it be? And why?
A spouse? Parent? Friend?
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If you could turn one person on to simple living and/or minimalism, would would it be? And why?
A spouse? Parent? Friend?
A close relative. He at one time worked with the less fortunate. That was his life goal. He always was of service to others until he reached his 50's and married a certain person. He didn't realize her values were different than his and each year that went by he slowly started accomodating her I think to probably just do away with the nagging. Its like he gave up. She has to have the latest furnishings, the best vehicles, the best wardrobe, the best of everything. Then she has to show everyone the pictures of her latest purchases. She has a blind spot when you talk about the homeless or others who aren't affluent like her. Its like she just doesn't get it that there are hurting people out there. It hurts our heart to see him have to settle like he has. He has stood up to her before and lets just say that didn't go over very well. He takes his marriage very seriously and feels responsible so he will never leave her. But again, that is his choice. You have to weigh what is more important to you. Just be very very careful on who you select for a lifetime mate.
My husband. He spends a lot on musical instruments, recording gear, and he isn't willing to downsize yet.
This sounds like a sad situation. :/Quote:
Originally Posted by corkym
What do you suppose are his reasons for not wanting to downsize and for spending so much on instruments and recording gear?Quote:
Originally Posted by Float On
DH---he is certainly not extravagant, but as we have been discussing and planning to downsize, I have found that we are pretty far apart in what we consider would be appropriate. Still discussing and still negotiating, though.
Redocchio: Can you reveal a little bit of the negotiations you're referring to? What made you decide to downsize in the first place? How far apart are you exactly? Thanks. I think maybe your insights could help others...Quote:
Originally Posted by Radicchio
Hi UltraliteAngler - Just to let you know this wasn't posted by me it was by Float On :) My husband wouldn't know what to do with a musical instrument unless maybe he could use it for a doorstop or a paper weight. :) http://www.simplelivingforum.net/ima...quote_icon.png Originally Posted by corkymhttp://www.simplelivingforum.net/ima...post-right.png My husband. He spends a lot on musical instruments, recording gear, and he isn't willing to downsize yet.
Interesting question. This took me a while to think about as most people I know are either varying degrees of SL or are quite content with their non-SL lifestyles.
But I do have two lady friends who, due to family circumstances generally beyond their control, are in houses that are more than they can easily handle - financially and/or maintenance-wise. They also both like to shop. I'd love to help them move into more reasonable rental accommodations, do a good budget, work on the psychological aspect of over-spending, introduce FI concepts, etc, but it's not my business.
corkym: I went back and changed it to Float On. Sorry for the confusion. :)
I am intrigued by people who are content with their non-SL lifestyles. What makes them tick? Why does it work for them but not others? Does it work for them or is it a facade?Quote:
Originally Posted by Kestra
I don't know, but I suspect it's just like any other personality trait - on a spectrum (talking here about the people who are genuinely happy with their life).Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
Some people like having stuff and buying things. It doesn't make them uncomfortable the way it does you and I. We all have different tastes. Why am I okay with public speaking, but not with motorcycles? There are probably more people who feel the reverse, and none of us are wrong.
Definitely interesting to think about and ask people about.
Hmm ... well, I think a certain amount of negotiation is just a part of marriage. While we came into our marriage with a lot of shared feelings, goals, and ideals, we still have our own thoughts. Thankfully, we communicate well and, eventually, come to decisions we both can live with. Regarding downsizing, I feel it's time for us to think about living in a home that we can age in place in. Our home now isn't obscenely big, but it is a bit larger than we need now that some of the kids have left home. It's also 3 stories---conceivably difficult to maintain as we age. So we are considering our options. I guess I was surprised by the long list of things DH considered necessities in a home. Granted, many of the things on our list we have now, but I wouldn't rule out a house because it didn't have ALL of them. We may or may not move forward with downsizing at this time, but, thankfully, after several days of discussion DH has become less intransigent about what he views as necessary features in another house. We rarely change the other's viewpoint overnight, but gradually over time we reach a satisfactory compromise. Who knows? Maybe, once we've seen what's available out there, we'll decide to stay here a while longer.Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
Anyway, hope that answers your question.
Whoever wins the 2016 Presidential election.
Downsizing:Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
He thinks it's taking things away from him instead of freeing him to enjoy experiences.
Its also a bit of a snobbery thing. I mean, people just don't downsize in his family.
The music stuff:
I knew what I was getting into sort of when I married him. His degree is in recording engineering and music was his first love before he found glass. Now that he's retired from the glass all he thinks about is more instruments, more equipment. I think 2 guitars and 5-6 flutes would be enough but he'd collect a roomful of guitars and already has over 30 flutes.
The trouble with guitars and I assume flutes as well, is that they are not only a functional piece for making music but a work of art. And so, they have a unique shape, smell, sound and feel. One wants to be able to pick it up or just look at it at your pleasure and convenience. Every guitar has its own personality and to part with a guitar that you have made your own is akin to severing a relationship. Albeit with an object but that object has more life than some people I know. So I can relate as a man who has a few guitars.....a session with a guitar can heal me or soothe me. I am better for having played a guitar. So I would consider it more than just a collection. It is part of what makes me....me. Thanks to Mr. Gibson, Taylor, Martin and Fender. A man with a guitar collection has a soul.
The more you comment on these threads, the more I think we'd get along! hahaQuote:
Originally Posted by bae
I was thinking this same thing today while I was reading up on Jose Mujica.
Could it be that he got a rush from buying his very first guitar and he hopes to get a rush just like that first one each time he buys a new one? Just wondering. It is an interesting phenomenon.Quote:
Originally Posted by Float On
I know whenever I have to buy anything except food (okay, sometimes certain foods) I get an anxiety attack. haha! But I know I am an oddball and I have my issues.
How do you cope with your simple life and his complicated life being so intertwined?
I converted my husband about 10 years ago when we married. He was a hard sell until he got the FEVER!
Simplemind: I would really like to hear how you converted him and how he got the fever. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Simplemind
It's just who and what he is and always will be. I guess the equation is he is to acquiring what I am to losing.Quote:
Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler
Over 26 years it's just becoming very obvious we have different core paths. We make it work.
Does he actually spend time enjoying these things, or is it the acquisition itself that he enjoys, and then they just sit there. If he actually does stuff with them I could see him making the argument that he's already having experiences. With his stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by Float On
That is an interesting point!
I have found that as I get older I want to have more experiences instead of things. Going to events, out to eat, vacations, etc. WE also downsized to a 1 story 1400 sq ft house. We want to be able to age in place.
It all depends on what is meant by simple living to you as individuals. What is one person's SL may not be another's. Some have a focus on guitars and feel that they are living simply by having only one focus. Others may focus on golfing and want to golf in every golf course in a certain geographic area and feel that they have shrunk their interests down to one, therefore, they are living simply.
The OP may feel that SL is having no more than 100 items and couch surfing with friends. Others would disagree.
I live simply, but to me, more importantly - sustainably - which is quite different but in my own home with all its expenses.
razz:
I agree that SLing looks different to different people. But SLing is still SLing? Right? If anything can be SLing, then what is the difference between SL and overwhelm or SL and treating the Earth like its your napkin? I realize this question is largely rhetorical, but I think it is important explore this. Like George Carlin said: "If everyone's kids are special then that means no one's kids are special." So if anything can be SL, then nothing is SL.
Simple Living to me is choosing to live sustainably, spending my energy and $$$ in a frugal manner with a limited impact on our planet but my interests are wide-ranging. What is your idea of SL as a comparison?
Simple living to me means having a manageable life, with few social obligations and an uncomplicated infrastructure. I'm still working on it.
+1Quote:
Originally Posted by razz
Yes. Daily. It's his thing, it's what he enjoys. I'm not trying to take this away from him that would be horrible of me and probably divorce worthy. It's just not my thing therefore I don't completely understand it. In fact the other day I was just encouraging him to get back into giving lessons because he enjoys teaching and is good at it. He didn't have time all the years of our business to do lessons and he hadn't even considered it until I mentioned it. That's got him a bit excited so we'll work up a plan to get a few students. Then he can use that money for his music habit instead of guilting me out of the tight family budget (He is very hard for me to say 'no' to).Quote:
Originally Posted by jp1
It sounds like you should be saying yes to this guy every chance you can. He sounds adorable. And it sounds like even if you don't quire understand why that you realize that this is what you should be doing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Float On
Judging from what you've said about his interests and the amount of time/effort he puts into his music, the fact that you have trouble saying no to him is probably an awesome thing and an indication that the two of you are a great couple.Quote:
Originally Posted by Float On
Oh, so true!!! And this is true for cellos, as well!Quote:
Originally Posted by Williamsmith
DH, a packrat.
A few people have said spouses... You are not alone in this regard!Quote:
Originally Posted by larknm
My dad, hands down. Ironically, he's the one who bought me my first books on money, saving, investing, etc. I later learned that he never read them himself--I guess he was hoping I would be better than he was in this regard. I talked to him about this just last week, actually. He said, I forgot I bought you those books, but it's a good thing that you read them! I wish I could get him to realize that he probably has enough to retire, if only he could cut back on his expenses.