This is an awesomely rich process, Redfox. Thanks for adding these questions that I can add to the process:

"Ok... really? She's all those things? Exclusively? Who do I serve when I tell this story? Who do I hurt? How does this make my life better? Who does she become if I simply drop my story line about her? Who do I become when I do this"

I tend to be uberorganized and maybe I'll write these out and use a checklist--or maybe that's too structured, lol.

Sweetana and spartana, you have some examples of those old stories being incorrect--I used to think I was a good judge of people at first glance and boy, was I wrong. I realize I tend to be pretty defensive at first glance and I project a lot on people that is just out of my own defensive insecurity. Gulp.

Wilflower, this is also the basis of narrative therapy, which I have studied a bit, so I really like this from that approach, too.

Now I gotta actually start doing this. Maybe pick one person a week? Keep asking the questions, going through the process, seeing what I come up with.
Or maybe that's a bit much. Hmm.