How to convince my girlfriend she does not need to go on pricey dates?

[freshstart]

I recognize that for some people, commitment without marriage is what they value. That's fine. I just think that in the vast majority of cases where they bring children into the world, kids are best served by two committed parents with legal protections.

agreed. I understand a woman's desire not to marry, but should she have a child outside of marriage, she does not have much of a safety net for either of them if things go south. I liked when men and women entered into domestic partnership in NY, but they got taxed on receiving their partners benefits, like health insurance. So marriage provides legal protections to both. Not a huge marriage fan now, but I would never have a child with a man I'm in a relationship with without a marriage. You would not believe the legal issues that come up when divorcing with children. Imagine determining any of that stuff with no marriage to "protect" you.

is it some woman-empowering thing to have kids sans marriage but stay in LTR? because, unless you are a high earner, disentangling from that mess is anything but empowering