I think a lot of people have been raised with different "rules" and they don't feel comfortable breaking with that. So if you mother always brought a hostess gift, you might field compelled to do the same.

Another example: I was at a college reunion and one of my friends married a managing partner of a big consulting firm and her son works there. I mentioned to her that one of my former colleagues' daughters just got a part time job there, with the probability of going full time in a few months. So my friend suggested that his daughter reach out to her son. I told my colleague about it and he was very grateful.

Right after that, he said, "by the way, I have a friend who needs market research help. Can I tell her about you?" My friend is Asian and I was wondering if perhaps this kind of quid pro quo is common in Asia. In other words, would he have connected me with his friend if I hadn't connected his daughter with my friend? Did he feel obligated to do so?