I can tell the difference. The constellation of signs and symptoms is not that hard to recognize.Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore
I think you are beginning to see everyone as a hoarderIncluding those with an average amount of stuff kept clean.
I can tell the difference. The constellation of signs and symptoms is not that hard to recognize.I think you are beginning to see everyone as a hoarder
Maybe it is just an appropriate way to treat someone under the circumstances. Could that me?
I don't know. I am not really sure what that means.
Unfortunately the space she wanted to help declutter was my studio. I would have ended up with a clean, neat, orderly open space suitable for Pinterest and devoid of all the random crap I find inspirational.
and I really am going to dump the last inch of dried up glaze out of the bottles into mason jars and remix it and recycle the bottles. Eventually. Glaze is expensive. She would definitely throw those away.
we walked through the basement with the friends who were visiting Sunday night. I created a touch of artsy whimsy down there that I find pleasing (dh - "can't we just throw this crap out?") and was a little embarrassed by it because - preceding comment. But the wife - who has a very nice, well decorated house suitable for entertaining, although UA would hate it - think southern living magazine - ran her hand across it and said "oh! I love this!" Reminding me that the middle ground is wide and it's ok to have stuff around that simply pleases the senses. Because not everybody is UA or my dh - whose senses are pleased by empty surfaces, bare floors, and blank walls.
that paragraph above with all the diversions is how my brain works all the time. Ideally I would have been able to layer the words in 3D to more accurately express myself. And include pictures. Which is basically what I do to my environment.
Hoarders tend to isolate themselves. They seem to think that stuff will keep them company but what it really does is builds a wall between them and their family, friends, and community. It really is a sad state to be in -- like another other mental illness or addiction, of sorts.
I have trouble understanding it sometimes, both mentally and emotionally.
Like I think: "Why would someone shoot heroin into their arm? That is insane, dangerous, and destructive."
But people do it.
So I ask a similar question: "Why would someone hoard? Hoarding is insane, dangerous, and destructive."
Again, people do it (about 6% of Americans are hoarders).
Count the first 20 people you see today. One of them is a hoarder.
It is only ok to treat someone "like a child" if you are responsible for them and they do not have adult capacity. If you don't feel it would be appropriate to seek a court appointed guardian for that person, then you should have the decency to treat them as a fully autonomous human being. It is not your role to protect people from themselves in ways that you have decided are needed without their input.
Honestly, I treat most children as adults in most situations.
try this - if you have say, a knife you want to get rid of, and your father expresses a need for such a knife, and you decide not to give it to him because you think he has too much stuff. (It's your knife to decide about, it's the paternalistic reason that is the problem) I see that as exactly the same as your father "helping" you fill out an absentee ballot because he thinks you don't understand the issues clearly. Or, to remove any shadow of voter fraud - helping you fill your closet because he thinks you do not own an appropriate range of clothing.
Any day I don't see 20 people is a good day.
i still think you are confusing collation with causation.
some hoarders are isolated because they are prevented from socializing by their stuff. others would lock people out of an empty room. Others invite people in anyway - they want socialization and don't care about/see the mess.
when you say to me "imagine what your life would look like if you had no stuff" the first image that springs to mind is me alone in the woods, minimally clothed and eating berries. there is no one with me. My ideal world would involve me never again seeing any people I don't know. Or also some of the ones I do know.
I was once discussing the farm with my brother in law and he said "so you can never go anywhere because you have goats." And I said "no. I have no desire to go anywhere. So I went ahead and got goats."
Are you a misanthrope?
Not everyone has every symptom or sign of hoarding, but they still hoard. I have yet to hear of someone who hoards but has none of the symptoms.
Hoarding is still a new problem, as far as study and treatment go.
So now, it is a situation like this:
Most hoarders exhibit certain personality traits or certain experiences or certain behaviors. So the dots are getting connected. Some might not apply to everyone.
So let us say I have 2 of the ten hoarding symptoms. I might not hoard. Maybe I have a concentration problem and an organizational problem. But let's suppose I am frugal and don't like to buy stuff and that I am just not materialistic. Again, I might not be a hoarder.
But let's say I have 8 of the 10 symptoms of hoarding. Chances are much stronger than I will be a hoarder.
No, I am not a misanthrope. I'm an extreme introvert - you seem to think that that is part of the pathology that needs to be fixed in my life, that I an suffering in some way because of it, that if I were not a hoarder, I would enjoy the presence of people. That I SHOULD enjoy the presence of people, that I am "choosing things over people." And what I am trying to tell you, is that I see those as two different choices. I am choosing "no people." And I am also choosing "too many things."
I am willing to agree with you that introverts are are more likely to be hoarders.
also, men are more likely to be sex offenders.
I am just questioning and exploring ideas.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote