CL: In your initial post, you quoted your DH as saying that you are "broken." You also asked, "what do you do? How do you make it enough? How do you make it stop hurting and if you don’t, how do you live like a normal person anyway?"
As Catherine referenced, if you had asked for resources in dealing with depressed/suicidal teenagers, the conversation would have evolved quite differently.
Anecdote on depression and medication: My sister takes medication for depression. She is an RN in a bone-marrow transplant unit in a major hospital. I don't think I could ever do her job, and I wonder sometimes if she would have the same struggles with depression in a different line of work, i.e. to what extent in the problem within her and to what extent is it a "normal" response to the nature of her job? However, her medication most definitely does not stop her from caring, she is incredibly caring and compassionate. It does make it possible for her to function and provide very real and necessary help for these people, as opposed to curling up in a ball on her couch and crying for them, which really does them no good whatsoever.