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Thread: Cop asked to leave cafe because he made a customer "uncomfortable"

  1. #61
    Senior Member Yossarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gimmethesimplelife View Post
    I know what it is like to be a victim of the general public with no recourse but to smile and tolerate abuse
    Boo ****ing hoo. I can't believe anyone has the audacity to whine about the difficulties of passing out food to rude people while denigrating the people who deal with the violent predators., the mentally incompetent, the emotionally unstable, and the just plain evil dregs of society. Actually I have sympathy for everyone, waitstaff included, but if you can't cut others doing a harder job some slack then don't expect any sympathy yourself.

  2. #62
    Senior Member flowerseverywhere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gimmethesimplelife View Post
    You have a point here, I'm not going to argue otherwise. And I will admit I have looked the other way when others have done this. Typically when this happens a server will make a big deal of it in the back where the other servers are to get support going - only the strongest of the strong is going to do this without some support from the other waitstaff. I have felt so sorry for other servers as I know what it is like to be a victim of the general public with no recourse but to smile and tolerate abuse if I want to keep my job - so I have looked the other way as have all the other servers I have worked a shift with then this has happened. So ummm.....I'm condoning it by looking the other way. I don't like admitting this but it is true nonetheless. I'm wrong to look the other way, I'll admit that.....but the cost of saying something is intense politics and probable job loss if I do the right thing. The only way I can see winning when dealing with horrific customers is milking the situation to get something I want out of management - if I believe I can get whatever it is. Retaliation via messing with a guests food - once again I can understand it but it seems much more practical to use the situation to get something you want from management. And much more ethical to handle it my way, too. And I still get to wish the horrific table death out loud in the back and under my breath on the floor.

    Flowerseverywhere, your post puts a new twist on this that I had not thought of before and I'm going to agree with you here. You have the high road here. Rob
    for better or worse our behaviors and attitudes are the result of our life experiences. Bad experiences happen to all of us. Only you have the power to decide how to react to our experiences. Sometimes we have experienced really bad stuff. As I have posted before am mixed race and ended up in foster care. I had a lot of hurdles to climb. So here are my choices. Become a bitchy victim? Help those who are in less than ideal situations? Turn a blind eye to those who are mean, abusive or hateful? The decisions are endless.

    sometimes we cannot make the best decisions without professional help. I really think you could benefit from some sessions from an impartional third party. You have health insurance.. Use it to work on your weaknesses and bolster your strengths. You have entered a long term relationship. Be the best you can be for you future spouse. You owe him.

  3. #63
    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    Geeze, you couldn't have at least pulled out a cell phone and documented it, so the poor customer could receive a multi-million-dollar settlement?
    Ummmm.....you don't see any shades of difference between my neighbors who were brutally attacked and assaulted by the police here in Phoenix vs. spitting in someone's food? Granted, the latter is vile and disgusting, I won't deny that, but if I had to choose between the two - if one of these absolutely had to happen to me, I'd take the second - much less drama overall. True, no real shot at a large settlement but that's not what this has ever been about for me. Rob
    Last edited by gimmethesimplelife; 4-5-15 at 2:27am.

  4. #64
    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yossarian View Post
    Boo ****ing hoo. I can't believe anyone has the audacity to whine about the difficulties of passing out food to rude people while denigrating the people who deal with the violent predators., the mentally incompetent, the emotionally unstable, and the just plain evil dregs of society. Actually I have sympathy for everyone, waitstaff included, but if you can't cut others doing a harder job some slack then don't expect any sympathy yourself.
    There is one huge gaping hole in your argument here. Being me, let's proceed to it. Waiters as I said before, really don't have any power to abuse you with - the police do. Right here and now I'll give you that not every cop abuses their power - I get that. The unfortunate truth is that some do and you never know what kind of cop you will be dealing with in advance. I'd a sight rather have someone spit in my food unpleasant though that may be, than be brutally attacked as my neighbor was, as the elderly Indian man in Alabama was - as others have been and continue to be. I have no sympathy for the police until there is more of a level playing field and until such as date as when they cross the line into illegal behavior, they find themselves dealing with swift and severe consequences. Until such a date as some kind of bill of citizen rights against illegal behavior by the police is drawn up and is made effective, I say boo ####ing hoo for the police. Some of them sure have earned it. Unfortunately there are some good people in the mix who are cops who are going to suffer for this - but my question from awhile back still stands: Why are the good cops not agitating to have the troublemakers/trash that causes problems thrown off the force? I have a hard time having sympathy when trash and troublemakers are kept on - and for people that are more on the cops side, please realize this type of officer causes more huge settlements, upping insurance rates for municipalities and causing over time fewer services and higher taxes. Is this what you want, those who side with the police? That's up to you, I can't make that choice for other people. But I won't deny that some cops have no business being a cop and that sometimes the public pays for it. In more than one way. Rob
    Last edited by gimmethesimplelife; 4-5-15 at 2:28am.

  5. #65
    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by flowerseverywhere View Post
    for better or worse our behaviors and attitudes are the result of our life experiences. Bad experiences happen to all of us. Only you have the power to decide how to react to our experiences. Sometimes we have experienced really bad stuff. As I have posted before am mixed race and ended up in foster care. I had a lot of hurdles to climb. So here are my choices. Become a bitchy victim? Help those who are in less than ideal situations? Turn a blind eye to those who are mean, abusive or hateful? The decisions are endless.

    sometimes we cannot make the best decisions without professional help. I really think you could benefit from some sessions from an impartional third party. You have health insurance.. Use it to work on your weaknesses and bolster your strengths. You have entered a long term relationship. Be the best you can be for you future spouse. You owe him.
    I don't see myself as a victim in regards to this topic. I see myself and my neighbors as POTENTIAL victims - who knows who is going to be viciously and illegally attacked next? Certainly it will not be all of us, I understand this. And I agree with you, bad experiences happen to all of us. It's a bit hard though to have someone with a pension and incredible benefits illegally abuse their power over you - this I can not accept, regardless of the fact that life is not fair. I don't see it as being a bitchy victim to question everything and to stand up to the system when the law is broken.

    I Thank You for your concern for my relationship btw and I realize you mean well. My future husband and his family feel the same way I do - especially my future father in law. I've learned some new profanity in Spanish listening to him speak about the police and about SB 1070 in Arizona and about the Border Patrol and how crooked they are. Pretty much in even installments, meaning around 1/3 of his issues are with the police. My future husband appreciates the fact that things are more stable here than in Mexico, but says no one really has any rights here unless they have a lot of money, and I couldn't agree more with this. It's not that he's ungrateful to be here, it's much more that he can see things as they are. I really respect that in him. Rob

  6. #66
    Senior Member Yossarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gimmethesimplelife View Post
    I have no sympathy for the police until there is more of a level playing field and until such as date as when they cross the line into illegal behavior, they find themselves dealing with swift and severe consequences.
    I'm sure there are problems of abuse out there Rob, but it is inherently difficult to sort out when many of the accusers may be of questionable veracity. That doesn't mean they lose their rights, no one should, but it does make it difficult to resolve some of the accusations. Sticking with the public cases where we do know many of the facts, I'd say the criminal justice system got it right in Ferguson, Staten Island, and Alabama. As much as you like convictions for the sake of convictions, the forensic and video evidence supports the criminal justice outcomes for the cops in the Michael Brown and Eric Garner cases. The cop in Alabama was fired and is being prosecuted but they have not had the trial yet. I don't think the cops did anything wrong regarding Taraji Henson's son.

  7. #67
    Senior Member Packy's Avatar
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    As you kids know, I'm very, very, very, VERY Conservative! I can't even begin to describe how extremely, wildly, radically, outrageously Conservative I am! If I had MY littlebitty way, we'd change things---back, back to the way we like to believe things used to be! The Good Old Days, when we had Polio & TB, instead of Gay Aids and Ebolla!. We'd have an Irish & Italian Immigrant Problem, instead of a Mexican Problem. You betcha. Anyway, this thread has got me to Thinking (something I don't usually waste my valuable time on)that from now on, I will be carrying at least ONE gun on my person at ALL times! I will have a gun(s)in holsters, when I go anywhere---even Church. If someone says: " hey--why are you carrying them gun(s) in church?" I'll say: " I suppose you think it's okay to stand by helplessly, and see little kids molested by their Sundy-School teacher, doncha?" And they'll say: "Yah, but--don't you think that is kind of a stretch of yyour imagination?" And I'll go: "What are you? One o' them Libberals that hates God & Amerikka?" And they'll go: "Not really. It's just that church is not the place to be carrying a weapon" And I'll go: "Buddy---any more flak from you, and you're going to be a BLEEDING-HEART commie liberal!" Ha. Pretty much a gotcha. Wish me luck. Thankk Mee.

  8. #68
    Simpleton Alan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Packy View Post
    I will be carrying at least ONE gun on my person at ALL times! I will have a gun(s)in holsters, when I go anywhere---even Church.
    It's pretty common these days for churches to have armed security personnel in the congregation, concealed of course. I'm guessing one or two more wouldn't hurt anything.
    "Things should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." ~ Albert Einstein

  9. #69
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    there are armed police officers at my daughter's work at a movie theater, of course that one already had a mass shooting. the trial starts soon, i have come to appreciate trained police officers who are armed. we have a parent who is a police office and comes into the childcare setting armed, the safety and security force in the urban school district i work in are armed depending on their role. i really am not a gun fan, no one in my family hunts or carries a weapon, but i have not been uncomfortable with people who have sworn to protect us carrying guns even into my program.

  10. #70
    Senior Member Packy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    It's pretty common these days for churches to have armed security personnel in the congregation, concealed of course. I'm guessing one or two more wouldn't hurt anything.
    Yes, yes--I have to agree--there are paranoiacs practically everywhere you go. And, just because you are paranoid, doesn't mean "they" aren't out to get you. Because, many people go to church on account of a belief they'll stay out of hell for the stuff they do the other 6 days of the week. They may also be concerned that church is the one place an irate ex-husband or disgruntled former employee or client/patient who lost everything, might find them, unarmed and vulnerable.

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